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Id	Vlad	Saved	Scrape Time	Status	Scrape Result	Title	Body	Cta Type	Link Url	Page Name	Page Profile Uri	Page Like Count	Enddate	Cta Text	Caption	Display Format	Link Description	Link Url	Creation Time	Page Profile Picture Url	Page Entity Type	Current Page Name	Startdate	Actions
2,644,963	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) '{"alias":2644961}'	No	2024-12-12 18:30	active	1996	🔥🔥LUST IS SWEETER THE SECOND TIME AROUND📖💕	💑🔞Tumakbo siya palayo sa kanya at hinabol siya, hindi makakalipad nang walang pakpak😍💘	LEARN_MORE	https://bioplm.com/market/goodnovel/1?lpid=12380&u	Philip Spicy Reading	https://www.facebook.com/61561349855790/	54,469	1969-12-31 18:00	Learn More	bioplm.com	CAROUSEL	💑🔞Tumakbo siya palayo sa kanya at hinabol siya, hindi makakalipad nang walang pakpak😍💘	https://bioplm.com/market/goodnovel/1?lpid=12380&utm_campaign={{campaign.name}}&utm_content={{campaign.id}}&adset_name={{adset.name}}&adset_id={{adset.id}}&ad_id={{ad.id}}&ad_name={{ad.name}}&placement={{placement}}	1969-12-31 18:00	https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.35426-6/467598464_1102457481406880_4882700932305829882_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s60x60_tt6&_nc_cat=107&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=c53f8f&_nc_ohc=nxBDJtBS2NcQ7kNvgGKZhX-&_nc_zt=14&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-1.xx&_nc_gid=A53oq0VlggduTf3dGfiA62F&oh=00_AYAfHgYzM0WWFDbGZIDJ0WFgAmqSknLczFLmnEPU06WzUg&oe=676141AB	PERSON_PROFILE	Philip Spicy Reading	1969-12-31 18:00	View Edit Delete
2,644,968	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) '{"alias":2644961}'	No	2024-12-12 18:30	active	1996	🔥🔥LUST IS SWEETER THE SECOND TIME AROUND📖💕	💑🔞Tumakbo siya palayo sa kanya at hinabol siya, hindi makakalipad nang walang pakpak😍💘	LEARN_MORE	https://bioplm.com/market/goodnovel/1?lpid=12380&u	Philip Spicy Reading	https://www.facebook.com/61561349855790/	54,469	1969-12-31 18:00	Learn More	bioplm.com	CAROUSEL	💑🔞Tumakbo siya palayo sa kanya at hinabol siya, hindi makakalipad nang walang pakpak😍💘	https://bioplm.com/market/goodnovel/1?lpid=12380&utm_campaign={{campaign.name}}&utm_content={{campaign.id}}&adset_name={{adset.name}}&adset_id={{adset.id}}&ad_id={{ad.id}}&ad_name={{ad.name}}&placement={{placement}}	1969-12-31 18:00	https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.35426-6/467598464_1102457481406880_4882700932305829882_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s60x60_tt6&_nc_cat=107&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=c53f8f&_nc_ohc=nxBDJtBS2NcQ7kNvgGKZhX-&_nc_zt=14&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-1.xx&_nc_gid=A53oq0VlggduTf3dGfiA62F&oh=00_AYAfHgYzM0WWFDbGZIDJ0WFgAmqSknLczFLmnEPU06WzUg&oe=676141AB	PERSON_PROFILE	Philip Spicy Reading	1969-12-31 18:00	View Edit Delete
2,644,967	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) '{"alias":2644961}'	Yes	2024-12-12 18:30	active	1996	🔥🔥LUST IS SWEETER THE SECOND TIME AROUND📖💕	💑🔞Tumakbo siya palayo sa kanya at hinabol siya, hindi makakalipad nang walang pakpak😍💘	LEARN_MORE	https://bioplm.com/market/goodnovel/1?lpid=12380&u	Philip Spicy Reading	https://www.facebook.com/61561349855790/	54,469	1969-12-31 18:00	Learn More	bioplm.com	CAROUSEL	💑🔞Tumakbo siya palayo sa kanya at hinabol siya, hindi makakalipad nang walang pakpak😍💘	https://bioplm.com/market/goodnovel/1?lpid=12380&utm_campaign={{campaign.name}}&utm_content={{campaign.id}}&adset_name={{adset.name}}&adset_id={{adset.id}}&ad_id={{ad.id}}&ad_name={{ad.name}}&placement={{placement}}	1969-12-31 18:00	https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.35426-6/467598464_1102457481406880_4882700932305829882_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s60x60_tt6&_nc_cat=107&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=c53f8f&_nc_ohc=nxBDJtBS2NcQ7kNvgGKZhX-&_nc_zt=14&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-1.xx&_nc_gid=A53oq0VlggduTf3dGfiA62F&oh=00_AYAfHgYzM0WWFDbGZIDJ0WFgAmqSknLczFLmnEPU06WzUg&oe=676141AB	PERSON_PROFILE	Philip Spicy Reading	1969-12-31 18:00	View Edit Delete
2,644,969	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) '{"alias":2644961}'	Yes	2024-12-12 18:30	active	1996	🔥🔥LUST IS SWEETER THE SECOND TIME AROUND📖💕	💑🔞Tumakbo siya palayo sa kanya at hinabol siya, hindi makakalipad nang walang pakpak😍💘	LEARN_MORE	https://bioplm.com/market/goodnovel/1?lpid=12380&u	Philip Spicy Reading	https://www.facebook.com/61561349855790/	54,469	1969-12-31 18:00	Learn More	bioplm.com	CAROUSEL	💑🔞Tumakbo siya palayo sa kanya at hinabol siya, hindi makakalipad nang walang pakpak😍💘	https://bioplm.com/market/goodnovel/1?lpid=12380&utm_campaign={{campaign.name}}&utm_content={{campaign.id}}&adset_name={{adset.name}}&adset_id={{adset.id}}&ad_id={{ad.id}}&ad_name={{ad.name}}&placement={{placement}}	1969-12-31 18:00	https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.35426-6/467598464_1102457481406880_4882700932305829882_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s60x60_tt6&_nc_cat=107&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=c53f8f&_nc_ohc=nxBDJtBS2NcQ7kNvgGKZhX-&_nc_zt=14&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-1.xx&_nc_gid=A53oq0VlggduTf3dGfiA62F&oh=00_AYAfHgYzM0WWFDbGZIDJ0WFgAmqSknLczFLmnEPU06WzUg&oe=676141AB	PERSON_PROFILE	Philip Spicy Reading	1969-12-31 18:00	View Edit Delete
2,644,970	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) '{"alias":2644961}'	Yes	2024-12-12 18:30	active	1996	🔥🔥LUST IS SWEETER THE SECOND TIME AROUND📖💕	💑🔞Tumakbo siya palayo sa kanya at hinabol siya, hindi makakalipad nang walang pakpak😍💘	LEARN_MORE	https://bioplm.com/market/goodnovel/1?lpid=12380&u	Philip Spicy Reading	https://www.facebook.com/61561349855790/	54,469	1969-12-31 18:00	Learn More	bioplm.com	CAROUSEL	💑🔞Tumakbo siya palayo sa kanya at hinabol siya, hindi makakalipad nang walang pakpak😍💘	https://bioplm.com/market/goodnovel/1?lpid=12380&utm_campaign={{campaign.name}}&utm_content={{campaign.id}}&adset_name={{adset.name}}&adset_id={{adset.id}}&ad_id={{ad.id}}&ad_name={{ad.name}}&placement={{placement}}	1969-12-31 18:00	https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.35426-6/467598464_1102457481406880_4882700932305829882_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s60x60_tt6&_nc_cat=107&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=c53f8f&_nc_ohc=nxBDJtBS2NcQ7kNvgGKZhX-&_nc_zt=14&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-1.xx&_nc_gid=A53oq0VlggduTf3dGfiA62F&oh=00_AYAfHgYzM0WWFDbGZIDJ0WFgAmqSknLczFLmnEPU06WzUg&oe=676141AB	PERSON_PROFILE	Philip Spicy Reading	1969-12-31 18:00	View Edit Delete
2,644,971	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) '{"alias":2644615}'	No	2024-12-12 18:30	active	1996	🔥🔥Click to read the next chapter for free👉	At Grace Mansion, Carissa Sinclair stared at the man before her—her husband she had waited for a whole year. Barrett Warren, still in his battle armor, wore an expression of both determination and guilt. "Carissa, the king has issued a royal edict for my marriage with Aurora. She will be joining our household. There's no question about it," said Barrett. Confusion clouded Carissa's eyes. "The queen dowager praises General Yates as a model for all women in the kingdom. Would she be willing to be a concubine?" Barrett's eyes flashed with a hint of annoyance. "No, she won’t be a concubine. She’ll be my legal wife, equal to you." "But calling her equal doesn't change the fact that she’s still just a concubine," Carissa said, a soft smile playing on her lips. Barrett frowned. "Why can't you face the reality? Aurora and I fell in love with each other on the battlefield, and we earned this marriage with our glorified victory. In fact, I don’t really need your approval on it." Carissa smiled mockingly. "Fell in love? Have you forgot what you promised me before you left for war?" On their wedding night a year ago, Barrett was called away to lead reinforcements on an expedition. Before he left, he lifted his wife’s veil and vowed, "Carrisa Sinclair, you're the only woman I'll ever love in my life. I will never take a concubine!" Embarrassed, Barrett avoided her gaze. "Forget what I said. Back then, I only considered you a suitable match for a wife. I knew nothing about love until I met Rory." As he spoke of Aurora, his eyes softened with deep affection, "She’s unlike any woman I’ve ever met. I love her deeply, and I hope you'll be generous enough to welcome her." Carissa felt a lump in her throat. Despite her disgust and reluctance, she asked, "What about your parents? Do they agree?" "They do. It was a royal edict, and mother liked her a lot upon seeing her." They agreed? Huh... How ironic! Seems like everything Carissa had done for this household had all been in vain. "Is she currently in the mansion?" Carissa asked, lifting a brow. Barrett carried a softness in his voice, "Yes, she’s talking to mother and making her very happy. Even mother's health seems to be improving." "Improving?" Carissa felt a whirlwind of emotions. "When you went to war, your mother was already gravely ill. I brought in the best physician, managed the estate’s affairs by day, and stayed up nights caring for her. That's how her condition started to improve." "But seeing Aurora has made my mother feel even better," Barrett said earnestly. "I know this is unfair to you, but for the greater good, please support Aurora and me." Carissa lowered her eyes, as if blinking away the tears. But inspected closely, that's actually her sharpened gaze. "Invite General Yates over. I have a few things to ask her." "There's no need," Barrett refused instantly. "Carissa, she’s different from any woman you know. As a general, she’s above household squabbles and wouldn’t want to confront you." Carissa retorted, "What are women I know like? Or tell me, what kind of woman am I to you? Have you forgotten? I'm also the daughter of the Marquis's family. My father and my six brothers sacrificed on the Southern Frontier three years ago-" "That’s them," Barrett interrupted. "you're still a delicate woman suited only for home comforts, while Aurora has no respect for that. Besides, she never holds back her true thoughts. Trust me, you won't want to hear it from her." As Carissa looked up, the striking beauty mark under her eye became more evident in the light. Calmly, she said, "It’s fine. If she says anything unpleasant, I’ll ignore it. A true matriarch must understand the bigger picture and act with dignity. Don’t you trust me?" Barrett sighed in frustration. “Why put yourself through this? The king has approved this marriage, and Aurora will never threaten your control of the household. Carissa, she couldn't care less about those things.” “Oh, you think that's what I fear? Losing the control of this household?” Carissa countered. Little did Barrett know his household had been reduced to a hollow shell - managing it was a hot potato no one else would bear. Over the past year, it was Carissa's dowry alone that kept the Warren family’s life respectable, and this was her reward. “Enough,” Barrett snapped, his patience running thin. “I’ve done my duty by informing you. Your opinion won’t change anything.” As Carissa watched him storm out, her bitterness deepened. “My lady, my lord has really crossed the line!” Lulu, Carissa’s maid, exclaimed, wiping her tears. “Don’t call him that!” Carissa gave her a stern look. “We never consummated the marriage. He’s not your lord. Now go fetch my dowry list.” “Why the dowry list?” Lulu asked, puzzled. Carissa tapped her on the forehead. “Silly girl, we need to reckon everything before we leave.” Lulu gasped. “Leave? But where to? The Northwatch Estate?” Suddenly Lulu held her tongue, aware that she had touched the sensitive subject. She spared Carissa a guilty look, "I'll get the list now, my lady." Upon the mention of Northwatch Estate, the always restrained Carissa finally let her tears fall. When she was fifteen, her father, the Marquis of Northwatch, had sacrificed in war. Then, just six months ago, her entire family at the Northwatch Estate was brutally slaughtered — assassins rumored to be spies from the enemy nation, Westhaven. She rushed back after getting the news, only to find the dismembered bodies of her mother and grandmother. Even her youngest nephew, two years old, didn't escape death, neither. Now, she was the last of the Sinclair line, the idea of restoring her family’s former glory seemed impossible—at least to outsiders. After all, she was presented mostly as a delicate, fragile woman, while Aurora Taytes had just made herself the first female general in history. It's only natural that the Warren family was more than happy to agree to the marriage. Yet, unbeknownst to the world, Carissa's martial talent was never beneath her father and brothers. If given a chance, she would definitely outshine Aurora Taytes, perhaps a million times more... Just then, Lulu had brought over the dowry list, "My lady, this year alone, you've spent over six thousand silver coins supporting the household. However, the shops, houses, and estates remain untouched. All the bank savings, along with the property deeds and land titles your mother left, are locked up in the chest." "I see." Carisse's gaze lingered on the list with melancholy. Her mother had given her such a substantial dowry, fearing she might face hardship in her husband's home. Yet now here she was. The Warren family had disregarded all her effort, and Barrett had even broken his vow to take no concubine - the very promise that led her mother to choose him over more eligible suitors, despite the Warren family’s fall from grace. 'Was this really the life mother wanted for me?' Resolute, Carissa declared, “Lulu, get prepared. There's somewhere we need to go tomorrow.” ... Early the next morning, Carissa and Lulu boarded a carriage, heading straight for the royal palace. It was noon when they arrived. Under the scorching autumn sun, Carissa and Lulu stood like statues in front of the palace gates, waiting for a full hour, but no one came to let them in. In the palace's study, Derek Walker had already reported Carissa’s arrival to the king three times. “Your Majesty, Mrs. Warren is still waiting outside,” he repeated. The king, Salvador Quinton, set aside the document in hand and rubbed his temples. “ I can’t summon her in. The edict has been issued and can’t be revoked. Send her back.” “The guards tried to persuade her, but she refused to leave. She’s been standing there for over an hour without moving.” Salvador felt a pang of guilt. “Barrett requested the marriage as a reward for his military service. I didn’t want to agree, either, but not granting it would embarrass both him and General Yates. They have after all won a big war.” “Your Majesty, when it comes to military achievements, no one can compare to the Marquis of Northwatch,” Derek countered. Salvador thought of Hector Sinclair, the Marquis of Northwatch. When Salvador was a crown prince who had recently joined the military, it was Hector who had guided him. Back then, he had also known Carissa when she was only a cute kid. Salvador himself had fought a bloody path to the throne, paved with death. He understood the struggles of military officers, so when Barrett requested marriage as a reward, Salvador had hesitated but eventually agreed. But Derek was right. In terms of military merit, Barrett and Aurora were far inferior to Hector Sinclair. “Alright, let her in. If she agrees to this marriage, I’ll grant her whatever she wants, even if it's a noble title or an official rank,” said Salvador. Derek breathed a sigh of relief. “As always, you're wise, Your Majesty!” ... Carissa knelt in the study with her head bowed. Recalling that Carissa was now the only one left in the Sinclairs', Salvador felt nothing but pity for her. "Rise and speak," he commanded. Carissa bowed deeply with her hands clasped. "Your Majesty, I know it's presumptuous of me to seek an audience today. But I also wish to implore for your grace." "Carissa Sinclair, I have already issued the edict of marriage. It's impossible to revoke it," Salvador said. Carissa shook her head gently. "Your Majesty, I'm not imploring you to reverse that edict, but imploring you for another edict - an amicable divorce with General Warren." The young king was taken aback. "Divorce? You want a divorce?" Carissa nodded her head firmly.	LEARN_MORE	https://shgjfh.com/market/goodnovel/1?lpid=13853&u	Random Reading	https://www.facebook.com/61559743679549/	321	1969-12-31 18:00	Learn more	shgjfh.com	VIDEO		https://shgjfh.com/market/goodnovel/1?lpid=13853&utm_campaign={{campaign.name}}&utm_content={{campaign.id}}&adset_name={{adset.name}}&adset_id={{adset.id}}&ad_id={{ad.id}}&ad_name={{ad.name}}&placement={{placement}}	1969-12-31 18:00	https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.35426-6/465783494_1277495316716293_8986382149130929647_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s60x60_tt6&_nc_cat=102&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=c53f8f&_nc_ohc=uhfx4bzGlV0Q7kNvgH3ma2C&_nc_zt=14&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-1.xx&_nc_gid=A53oq0VlggduTf3dGfiA62F&oh=00_AYBYuuIvD01QmmE-cq_qICceKU57BIgR6m9QejS9WYadfA&oe=67614680	PERSON_PROFILE	Random Reading	1969-12-31 18:00	View Edit Delete
2,644,973	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) '{"alias":2644944}'	No	2024-12-12 18:30	active	1996	🔞🔥 Continuer la lecture ➤➤	(Lily POV) Today is my 14th birthday. There will not be birthday cake, singing, or a party. Instead, we are attending a funeral. My sister's funeral, to be exact. Before my sister... died... we had a large party planned for me. I normally do not have a big party, but 14th birthdays are a really big event to werewolves. They are the day that we first meet our wolves. The next monumental birthday is our 20th birthday; that is when can first identify our fated mates. I am our Beta’s youngest daughter, and my father is loved and well-respected. Everyone was excited to meet my wolf and to see what type of wolf she would be. Thus, the guest list for my party was pretty large, and it included ranked wolves from nearby packs. I am normally a little bit of a loner, hence why I usually do not have a big birthday party. However, for this particular occasion, I was happy to have a lot of guests. Meeting your wolf comes with the first shift/ transition, and that can be incredibly painful. As inherently social creatures, the only thing known to help wolves with the pain of the first shift is to have supportive family, friends, and community around you. The way that it typically works is that the pack will host a dinner or barbeque in your honor. As night falls, and the moon replaces the sun in the sky, everyone will gather inside the pack amphitheater. The shifter-to-be will stand in the middle of the amphitheater while guests quietly chant well wishes and prayers to the Moon Goddess. The energy in the space can be electrifying for everyone present, no matter whether there are 25 attendees or 500. Once the first shift is completed, the new wolf will prance around the stage and strut their stuff. The crowd will “ooh” and “aah” until the pack alpha approaches, learns the new wolf’s name, and introduces the wolf to the crowd. The new wolf will also swear his or her allegiance to the pack and to the alpha, allowing the wolf to mind-link with other pack wolves. Finally, the new wolf and any guests old enough to shift will go for a pack run. The whole process is incredibly special and exciting. As you might imagine, décor is also an important part of the party planning process. Each shifter gets to decide the decorations and party theme that will be used for their party. If more than one wolf turns 14 on the same day, the wolves can either agree on a theme or split the party into parts that they can individually decorate. The pack luna will then work some sort of magic that somehow blends the individual areas into one cohesive theme in the center. My birthday is in October, and despite how large our pack is, I am the only one born on that day. I love having an October birthday because my favorite season is fall. For my décor, I had picked flowers and decorations in rich fall colors, including deep oranges, reds, and greens. Unfortunately, none of my party decorations will be used. Or rather, none of my decorations will be used for me. As I mentioned, we are holding a funeral today instead. My oldest sister, Stephanie, died this morning. Pack and religious tradition dictates that we must hold funerals within 24 hours of death. Because Stephanie died shortly after midnight, her funeral must be held today. All food and décor set aside for my birthday party was therefore immediately diverted for the funeral; thankfully my fall themed colors were sufficiently somber-ish to work. All decorations that seemed relatively “happy”, celebratory, or that mention me have been removed. Pictures of Stephanie have now been placed on tables and podiums, and the music I selected has been swapped out for songs about loss or Stephanie’s favorites. The loss of Stephanie is a really hurting. Not only was she my sister and my parents’ oldest and favorite child, she was also widely anticipated to be the mate of Alpha Randall’s son, James, which meant she was most likely the future luna of our pack. Stephanie would have turned 20 in three months, and she and James would have been able to confirm that they were mates then. The pack was so sure that they were mates —and Alpha Randall was so eager to turn the pack over to James and his mate, once she was identified and ready to take on the luna position— that they deviated from standard protocols and decided to begin Stephanie’s Luna training just after she turned 18. If I am being completely honest, something never sat right with me about Stephanie starting Luna training. Part of it is what Stephanie's Luna training meant for me, but that is a separate conversation. The biggest thing was that I did not understand why luna training could not wait until Stephanie turned 20 and could confirm who her mate was. Lunas for generations have waited for their training; why couldn't Stephanie? It also bothered me quite a bit to watch Stephanie hang all over James at pack functions. Our pack frowned upon dating and public displays of affection prior to finding your mate; it created too much risk for problems, anger, and jealousy once your mate was located. For whatever reason, an exception was made for Stephanie. But then again, exceptions always were made for her. Stephanie was strong and absolutely beautiful, and the pack knew her as being kind, smart, and energetic. She could do no wrong in the eyes of my parents, the alpha, or the pack. I hope I do not sound too jealous or bitter. I loved my sister, and her death is hitting me really hard. It’s just that…. I knew a different side of my sister than everyone else, and I know more than anyone that my sister was far from perfect. Had I spoken up before she died, I would have been accused of jealousy and lying. And were I to speak up now, well… I would be accused of jealousy, lying, AND improperly speaking ill of the dead. It is easier to just let it go. Along with my birthday. It isn't that important anyway. I do not want to be selfish or self-centered. The only immediate problem with letting go is that --bad timing or not-- I am going to shift for the first time tonight. There is nothing I can do to stop or postpone it, as much as I would like to do so. I am worried about how it is going to go. Hopefully, during the reception, my mother or father or brother or someone will be willing to step aside with me for a 20-30 minutes just to get me through it. We could then return and act like everything is normal. Or as normal as it can be with Stephanie now gone. Sadly, I should have known that nothing in life is that easy. Chapter 2: The Little Brat (James POV) I watch sadly as the casket is carried from the temple to the burial grounds. It is a cold October day, and the gray sky and drizzly weather adds to the overall somber atmosphere. I cannot help but be impressed at how quickly the pack was able to pull everything together for Stephanie's funeral. All funerals happen quickly in our world, but because of how fast the funerals must take place, the décor and guest list is usually somewhat lacking. It is a testament to how much Stephanie was loved that they were able to put together so many beautiful floral arrangements in her honor, and that so many people were able to be here to honor her life, including many wolves from other packs. If it wasn't for it being such a horrible occasion, I would actually describe the color scheme as beautiful. Then again, fall has always been one of my favorite seasons. I am vaguely aware that we had some other function on the calendar today, but I honestly cannot think of what it was. With a large pack —the West Mountain Pack has over 10,000 members— we have a lot of functions. As the future alpha, I am expected to attend as many of them as I possibly can, but no one expects me to remember what they all are… even if I try to pretend in the moment. Unless reminded by an Omega or my amazing girlfriend, I can't even seem to remember my own mother and father's birthdays most of the time. My amazing girlfriend. I sigh, wiping a tear from my eye. She will never again be around to remind me about birthdays. Sadly, there will be no pretending that I know what today's ceremony is about. Stephanie Brogan was the love of my life, and she was my future mate and luna. I still cannot believe that she is gone. We never even got to fully experience the mate bond, including the sparks betwwen us. Had she lived just three months longer, our wolves would have confirmed one another as mates and Stephanie would have been able to formally claim her proper place in my bed and in my life. Instead of welcoming her body into my bed, I am saying good-bye to her today. I am also saying good-bye to all of our future plans and dreams together. I cannot help but feel anger and resentment about that. This is not how things were supposed to be. As I watch the funeral procession go by --my father, mother, and I, along with the beta family, must stand at the entrance as guests move from the temple to the burial grounds-- I catch a glimpse of Stephanie’s younger sister, Lily. She is standing next to her mother. She looks both sad and innocent, which causes the anger in my body to rise even more. That little brat is the reason that Stephanie is dead. *FLASHBACK TO LAST NIGHT* Stephanie and I are cuddled on the couch in the packhouse living room watching a movie. I have my hand on her arm and I am about to kiss her when she gets distracted by a text message. Stephanie did not let me see the message, which annoys me, but she quickly explains that Lily is lost in the forest after having snuck out to meet a boy. Stephanie’s sister is 13 or 14 years old. She has all the teenage acne and attitude that comes along with being that young. Unlike Stephanie —who has beautiful blond hair and hazel eyes— Lily has reddish brown hair and bright green eyes. Or at least I think they are bright green; she usually has them covered up with large black glasses. Stephanie gets up and tells me that Lily has texted her, begging her to come and find her. I am annoyed by the interruption, but I offer to go with Stephanie to get the little brat. Stephanie says Lily will be upset if anyone else knows about her little escapade. Stephanie reassures me that she will be fine, and then gives me a quick peck. My wolf and I have a bad feeling when Stephanie leaves, but Stephanie has us wrapped around her little finger. It is almost impossible for my wolf and I to disagree with her about anything. We pause the movie and decide to get some work done in my dad's office while we wait for Stephanie to get back. I am a night owl anyway, so I do not mind waiting. Unfortunately, about an hour after Stephanie leaves, I get an urgent mind-link from our pack warriors. They report that the Little Brat had been spotted running out of the woods screaming for help. Before they can say much more, I shift into my wolf form and take off running. I follow Stephanie’s scent far into the woods…. until I come to a small clearing, which is covered in Stephanie’s blood. Her bloody clothes are tossed around, and chunks of her hair are thrown about as well. It is the worst, most savage site that I have ever seen. The smell of rogues is all over, so it is fairly obvious what has happened. The a---holes didn’t even bother to leave her body. *END OF FLASHBACK* Tears threaten to continue to fall as I think back to the scene last night. I have not slept or eaten since I found what was left of Stephanie, and I am having trouble holding my emotions together. Now that my eyes have spotted Lily, my anger with her becomes a welcome distraction. I have a very hard time looking away from her. The truth is that I have always found myself strangely curious about her, but today… today all I want to do is take my anger out on someone, and she seems as good a target as anyone else. Her teenage behavior cost me my mate! And it cost this pack its future luna! My wolf, Luke, begs me to calm down. It is an interesting thing, having the wolf side try to calm the human side. As upset and angry and emotional as I am, it is tempting to ignore him and immediately start teach that Little Brat a lesson. However, I decide to follow Luke's advice after he reminds me that Stephanie deserves to have her funeral be all about her and not some whiny teenage brat. That does not mean that I am going to let Lily get away with what she has done, but I wait until a more appropriate time to take my revenge. I turn my focus back to Stephanie’s casket, which we filled with her bloody clothes, hair, and anything that could be found at the site that had her blood on it. The casket has been brought to the center of the amphitheater. The alpha and beta families take their seats in the front row, and my father and the pack priest move beside the casket to begin the ceremony. The ceremony involves a lot of prayers, rituals, and speakers. The average ceremony takes 2-3 hours, and Stephanie's will most likely take closer to 4-5 hours given her status in the pack and how beloved she was. During the ceremony, I keep trying to distract myself by looking around as others around me. I do not want to be seen as weak by curling into the fetal position and wailing like a baby, even though that is the only thing I want to do right now. My heart breaks as I glance at Stephanie’s parents next to me in the front row, holding on to one another as they cry. Seeing Stephanie’s father —a strong, powerful Beta wolf— break down is a sight I have very rarely seen. The pain in his eyes is heart-wrenching. I also notice Stephanie's brother, Nick, as he clings to his mate, Jenny. Both of them are crying as well. Nick is my best friend, and I have known him since we were tiny pups, but I have literally never seen him cry. I notice that there are no dry eyes anywhere. Even my father has a few stray tears running down his cheeks, although I am sure he would punch anyone who pointed it out. He is a proud man, just like me. As the sky continues to darken, I notice the Little Brat starting to act like she is uncomfortable in her seat. I can tell that Stephanie's mother is getting agitated, and rightly so. For once, can the Little Brat not think about something other than herself? Seriously. It is one ceremony. Just one. For an older sister who died trying to help her. How dare the Little Brat not hold herself together? The next thing I know, the moon is high in the sky and the final rites are being spoken by the priest. As exactly that moment, the Little Brat whispers something in her mother’s ear. Her mother turns and glares at her, causing the Little Brat to put her head down. I then watch as the Little Brat stands up and walks away. She looks like she is in pain, and I hope that she is. How dare she walk away from her sister’s funeral! Especially in the middle of the last rites! I am tempted to follow her and give her a piece of my mind, but Stephanie means more to me than that. I remind myself once again that I will get my revenge on Lily aka the Little Brat soon enough. For tonight, I must remain focused on the love of my life. Chapter 3: Lily Meets Rose “Y-yes.” “Good. Now open your eyes.” I opened my eyes and immediately noticed that I was not human anymore. My feet and hands were paws. I then looked into the water that pooled at the edge of the waterfall, and I saw my reflection… or rather the reflection of Rose. My heart stopped. There are many different types of wolves —alpha wolves; beta wolves; gamma wolves; warrior wolves; silver wolves; white wolves; red wolves; omega wolves. And even within those categories, there are varying sizes and colors and markings. We learn about the types of wolves in school. “Expect the unexpected” was a phrase that was often said about the first transition, but in reality your wolf generally follows your lineage: the children of alpha wolves will generally be alpha wolves; the children of beta wolves will generally be beta wolves; and so on. Typically, the big excitement —especially with children of ranked wolves— centers on the size, color, and personality of the new wolf. Looking back at me in the reflection of the pool was a type of wolf I had never seen or learned about in school. Rose’s fur was a beautiful bluish-silver color that almost glowed. On the right side of her rump was a large black crescent moon symbol, and the black coloring of that symbol matched her solid black paws and black tail. In addition, I noticed that Rose was huge. Although it was tough to tell, it appeared to me that Rose was at least as large as some alpha wolves. “What type of wolf are we, Rose?” “A special type. You will learn more as time goes on, but know that the Moon Goddess has blessed you and I, Lily.” I did not say anything; I was not sure what to say. Rose and I sat by the waterfall for a while longer, until I remembered Stephanie’s funeral. “We need to get back!” I told Rose in a panic. Rose guided me through how to transform back to our human form, and I frantically searched the nearby trees for clothes. I found a men’s t-shirt and shorts. Both were far too big for my small frame, so I opted to just put the t-shirt on. I also grabbed my eye-glasses off the ground and put them on; thankfully they did not break during the transition. Now that I had Rose, I would not need the glasses anymore because she would heal my eyes. However, Rose warned me that —for now— it was best that I continue to wear the glasses and let the pack believe that I did not yet have my wolf. I thought it was a curious thing for her to say, but I had no reason to not trust her. I hurried back to the packhouse and got into the beta suite, hoping to quickly change clothes and re-join the mourning crowd. Unfortunately, once I got in the suite, I was met with the angry, accusing eyes of my mother. “WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? HOW DARE YOU MAKE A SCENE AT YOUR SISTER’S FUNERAL! HAVE YOU NO SHAME? ARE YOU SO SELFISH AND SELF-CENTERED THAT YOU CAN THINK OF NO ONE BUT YOURSELF?” I said nothing. What could I say? My mother then did something that, in my 14 years, she had never done before. She slapped me. Hard. And the beating continued from there. Chapter 4: Living in the Shadows (6 years later) (Lily POV) Six years have now passed since that fateful day that Stephanie died. I wish that I could say that life has moved on, and that we have found good in the bad... but for the most part, it isn't true. Stephanie is just as much a part of this pack today as she was before she died. And the grief felt in the pack is just as raw and angry as it was that first day. If anything has changed, it is that --instead of Stephanie being out in the center of things-- she lives on almost like a shadow over everything. She now has a couple of streets named after her --Stephanie Lane and Steffie Avenue (her nickname was "Steffie"); and you can quite literally find some of her favorite outfits on display in glass cases at various places throughout the pack. Even more bizarre, the day she died was turned into a pack holiday, as was her birthday. Everyone but pack omegas have both days off from work, school, and training, and there are somber celebrations and remembrances planned to commemorate each occasion. I once made the mistake of asking my parents whether this was a normal reaction to the death of a single she-wolf. We can love and miss her, but to continue to hold large ceremonies every year? And to treat her as a saint and forget that she had a human side too? That seemed a bit too much to me. As far as I know, the pack has never done this for any other luna or future luna, and it only honors 2-3 historical alphas in such a manner. I was rewarded for my questions by being called jealous and hateful. (I also received a significant beating, but beatings had become commonplace from my mother, so I cannot say that my question necessarily triggered the beating I received that day. Plus, the beating hurt far less than what I received before Stephanie died. But for the slight pain and who did the beating, I almost would not have minded.) Overall, I think the worst part of losing Stephanie six years ago wasn't losing Stephanie... it was how losing Stephanie impacted my relationship with my parents and other pack members. Before Stephanie died, I was well aware that Stephanie was my parents' favorite. My older brother Nick and I would even joke about it from time to time. But even though Stephanie was their favorite, they still treated me really well and loved me. They never would have raised a hand to me before Stephanie died. After Stephanie died, however, my parents could barely look at me. And when they did, I saw the unmistakable wish in their eyes that it had been me, not Stephanie, that died that fateful night. In addition, my parents stopped caring about my well-being generally. I lived in their house until I was 17, but I was responsible for my own meals and necessities. I was forced to take on a part-time job at a nearby diner just to ensure I had clothes and food to eat. (I technically could have eaten the food that was available in the packhouse, but the dirty looks and mean comments made by my parents, James, and other pack members were enough to make that an unrealistic option.) Also, in case you are wondering, I have not celebrated a birthday since Stephanie died. Not one single soul other than Rose has bothered to tell me happy birthday. No one even bothered to ask me whether I had received my wolf. That wasn't because birthdays stopped being important; it was just mine whose meaning changed. I attended plenty of birthday parties, and the pack hosted plenty of 14th birthday celebrations. In fact, I think it was because of one of those birthday celebrations that someone finally questioned whether I had received a wolf. It was a legitimate question, given that I was over 14 and never joined a pack run. Rose encouraged me early on to skip them "for safety reasons," and I was all too happy to do so. Had anyone bothered to ask me directly about my wolf or about why I was skipping the pack runs, I would have been honest... but no one ever did. Instead, a rumor spread that I was wolfless. Pack members speculated that I lost my wolf as a result of post-traumatic stress from losing Stephanie and/or guilt for what I had done to Stephanie. That latter theory was the one that really got under my skin, because I knew that was a theory and rumor spread by James. Shortly after Stephanie's funeral, he told my parents and most of the pack that Stephanie was only in the forest that night to save me. He also said I had gone out to meet a boy. I have no idea why he would say such things; I have never had a boyfriend and Stephanie was the one who asked me to meet her in the forest. This rumor was the main reason that I received a beating from my mother the night of my first shift. And it probably adds to the reason that pack members wish me dead. Notably, though, I have never dared to defend myself. To tell the truth would be the equivalent of talking negatively of both Stephanie and our future alpha.... and would likely lead to a death sentence. So instead, I have always just pushed through. One of the ways that I have survived is to hold on to the faith that one day things will be different. Another thing that I have done is take every last opportunity to leave the pack. For example, I hurried through high school so that I could graduate early, and I then went away to college. To avoid coming home, I have been loading up on credit hours and taking every term of school -including the mini winter sessions-- that I can get. I am also taking advantage of a unique expedited program offered just for werewolves doctors. Given all of these things, I actually expect that I can become a fully licensed werewolf doctor in just a couple more years. Until I become fully licensed and independent, I will have to continue to bear the shadow of my sister and the pain that comes with it. I am required to be present for both of her holidays --all pack members are; there are no exceptions-- but thankfully those are among the very few times that I can reliably be found at the Western Mountain pack these days. My ultimate goal is to meet my mate and become a pack doctor in his pack... which I pray to the Moon Goddess is not the Western Mountain pack. If, Goddess forbid, my mate is in this pack, perhaps I can convince him to transfer packs with me. Goddess willing. Tomorrow is my birthday. I guess we will find out then. Chapter 5: Without His Luna (James POV) Tomorrow will mark six years since Stephanie died. Everything and nothing has changed. I still think of Stephanie every single day. Her beautiful smile. Her laugh. The kindness that she showed to pack members. The ethusiam that she showed for her luna training. Stephanie would have been an amazing and strong luna. Had Stephanie lived, we would have been happily married by now. We would probably have already had at least two adorable pups, who would have been doted on by two loving sets of grandparents. Together, Stephanie and I would have been leading the West Mountain Pack to new heights. Of course, Stephanie is no longer here. And without Stephanie… Well, without Stephanie, I am only a fraction of the man that I used to be, and only a fraction of the wolf. Without Stephanie, I am not even Alpha yet. In our world, most alpha heirs take over from their fathers between 25 and 30 years old. That timing ensures that most alphas will have already found their mates before they take over the running of a pack. Running a pack is not easy to do by yourself. Even with a strong beta and a strong gamma, a luna’s importance to a pack cannot be underestimated. A luna brings heart and balance to a pack and to the alpha himself. She is the alpha’s equal, and she is one of the few werewolves in the pack who can get away with challenging and questioning an alpha’s decisions. If she exercises her role properly and judiciously, a luna’s presence can lead to better overall outcomes, decisions, and governing. This is especially true if the luna is the alpha’s fated mate, because it means she takes on her role with the blessing of the Moon Goddess. Alpha heirs who take over their packs prior to turning 25 typically do so either out of necessity, or because they have been fortunate to have been mated very early to a strong luna. Six years ago, when Stephanie was still alive, my father thought we were going to be part of the lucky latter category. He had been very eager to take an early retirement. He and my mother had fantasized about all the European trips and Caribbean cruises that they would take after I was sworn in as alpha, and they had already had tentative plans for at least one of those trips. Of course, all of those plans were ultimately scrapped. Today, I am old enough to take over as alpha, even without a luna by my side… but my father is concerned that I am not mentally strong enough to do so yet. He sees me as broken. My father is probably right. It is a little hard not to feel broken. The reminders of Stephanie are everywhere. Even after six long years, I feel like I cannot escape from the reminders or from my grief, and it is suffocating. The packhouse has practically turned into a mini museum to her, and almost all of the local businesses have some sort of small dedication, whether it be a dedicated drink, food item, picture, or shelf of Stephanie-inspired items. Worse, twice a year, we hold a series of ceremonies and remembrances for Stephanie. As Stephanie’s mate and as the future alpha heir, I am expected to attend every one of them. I want to be there. I know that I should be there. But… It is complete and utter torture. Every day without Stephanie is difficult, but Stephanie’s birthdays and death anniversaries always hit me the hardest. What I want to do more than anything on those two days is be by myself so that I can process my grief. There is a waterfall that I like to go to. If I could, I would spend all day there on both days. The waterfall isn’t exactly hidden, but to find it, you have to go pretty far within the woods and know where to go. As far as I know, I am the only one in our pack who ever goes there. Being at the waterfall brings me comfort; it always has. That is where I want to be when I am grieving or upset. Unfortunately, instead of spending time in the comfort of my waterfall, I have to spend the two hardest days each year out in public with almost 20,000 eyes watching my every move and every reaction. Instead of just… grieving… I have to be conscientious of how every display of emotion can impact and be perceived by the pack members. As I listen to pack members, Stephanie’s parents, and my own parents take turns telling stories about Stephanie and her good deeds, I am expected to somehow strike an impossible balance between sadness and strength. At each of the events, year after year, the remembrances are largely the same. At this point, I practically have the speeches memorized. The speeches usually include stories about how Stephanie would bake cookies and send her sister to deliver them to the guards working the late-night shift on the borders. And stories about how any time anyone was injured in training or at battle, she would not only have her sister deliver care baskets to patients at the hospital, but she would also put one together for any family members separated from them while they were recovering. My parents talk about how eager Stephanie was to take on her position as luna, and how dedicated she was to her training, even working on lessons for hours at home multiple times per week. Stephanie’s parents talk about their prior dreams for their daughter and the hole they continue to feel in their hearts. Nick talks about how family celebrations do not feel the same without Stephanie there, and Jenny talks about wishing that she still had a sister-in-law to bond with and engage in girl talk. The only blessing is that —as the grieving mate— no one expects me to say anything at these events. But that does not spare me from the staring and judgment. If I show too much sadness, pack members worry that I am weak and will not able to be the leader of the pack in the future. If I seem too stoic or show too much “strength,” pack members could perceive me being disrespectful towards Stephanie’s memory. They will also worry that my reign as alpha will lack balance and compassion…. which I already hear whispers about from time to time. Sometimes, I feel angry about the whole thing. I would never, ever expect anyone who has lost their mate to put themselves on a stage multiple times a year and be judged on whether their external grief is appropriate enough. And yet my parents have no problem doing it to me. I tried to push back once, but only once. As you can imagine, it did not go well. I started the conversation by telling my parents that I did not think it was healthy for me to be surrounded by constant reminders of Stephanie, and I told them that I thought the constant remembrances were counterproductive to my mental health. I suggested that we scale back the events, or make them more private affairs. My father got angry and accused me of being selfish. He told me that being uncomfortable and coping with the pressure of judgmental pack members is part of being an alpha. Meanwhile, my mother reminded me that the ceremonies had been Stephanie’s parents’ idea, and she asked me if I wanted to be the one to tell them it was no longer important to celebrate Stephanie’s life. No, of course I did not want to tell Stephanie's parents that. No, I did not want to be selfish. I just wanted --and still want-- to not feel so sad all the time. Six years in, and the only reprieve I ever get from my grief is when the Little Brat is around. She has made herself scarce the last few years, but when she is around, my wolf and I can sense her from a mile away. My wolf and I fight about her all the time --for some reason, Luke seems to have a soft spot for the Little Brat-- but we can agree that it is nice having her around. For me, it's because I have a worthy target for my anger and rage. Chapter 8: Daddy's Girl (Lily POV) The drive to the pack house was eerily silent. After my father and I arrived at the pack house, my father quickly exited the vehicle and headed to his office, leaving me on my own. I timidly and cautiously got into the beta suite, but I was relieved to find that my mother was already in bed. I decided to go directly to my room and try to sleep as well. Unfortunately, I ended up tossing and turning all night. The look on my father's face when talking to the guards continued to haunt me. When I did sleep, I had nightmares. Strangely, Rose seemed restless too, but other than briefly wishing me a happy birthday after it hit midnight, she did not say anything. I think the main thing that provoked my nightmares and kept me up was that my heart ached for my father. I knew that I wanted to help him with his pain and ease his suffering, but I was not sure what I could do or say to make things better. It has already been six years. If time has not helped heal his heart, what could I do? The truth is, I am not Stephanie and I never will be. The only thing I have ever known how to do for my father is to try to stay out of his way. At least for my mother, I can serve as a literal punching bag to help her relieve her grief. And for others in the pack, I can serve as both a literal and metaphorical punching bag. But, I am nothing to my father: my father has neglected me and ignored the sufferings I went through, but he has never directly participated in any of them. Perhaps that is one reason his pain upsets me more than the pain of everyone else. He is the least awful amongst my current tormentors, and I can sometimes lie to myself that he does not know or agree with how much I have suffered. I know that it probably seems strange that my heart aches for him at all, given that he is someone who, for the most part, could care less about me. However, please understand that for my own sanity, I have chosen to remember and hold on to the good times in my childhood. Of course, there is also the fact that... regardless of how my father currently feels about me... I have always been --and will probably always be-- a daddy's girl. It is just part of who I am. Since I was in diapers, I have looked up to my father and considered him to be my superhero. Before Stephanie died, I never saw an ounce of weakness in him. He was my strength and my rock. I always had an strong desire to make him proud of me. He was always the first one I ran to when I got a good grade on a test, or when I drew a picture I thought he might like. And ...before Stephanie died... he was always the first one to dry my tears when I got hurt or to give me reassuring praise when I felt down. Even though I knew Stephanie was his favorite... even though I knew Stephanie's accomplishments would always be greater, and that he would always be more proud of her... those little things mattered to me. I lived for those moments. Sigh. By 5:30 am, I gave up on any hope of further sleep. Stephanie's first remembrance event was not scheduled until 11 am, so I knew I had a little bit of time. Eager to take advantage of that time and also avoid my mother, I took a quick shower, packed a small backpack, and headed out of the house. Predictably, my feet led me to the waterfall that I had shifted in front of six years ago. I have come here at least twice a year since Stephanie died, usually on her birthday and death anniversary. The waterfall brings me an odd sense of peace. As beautiful as it is, I do not know anyone else who comes here. Perhaps that is why I like it so much. I sighed. "It is easy to tell myself that when I am away from the pack and not having to cope with the consequences. It is a lot harder to believe that I am blameless when everyone around me is crying and upset all the time. You saw my dad last night. That nearly broke me. He is still hurting so much." "That does not make any of it your fault," Rose protests. "Rose, the day before Stephanie died, I prayed that the Moon Goddess stop Stephanie from continuing to hurt me." "She was not hurting you, Lily. She was torturing you. There is nothing wrong with you praying that it stop." "There is if it cost Stephanie her life." "Lily, you are not giving the Moon Goddess enough credit. You are smarter and stronger than this. You need to stop with the emotional vomit and ---" Suddenly Rose stops talking through the link. She is pacing back in forth in my head. I have no idea what is going on, until the overwhelming scent of vanilla and coffee beans hits my nose. "Mate! Lily, our mate is here! Mate, mate, mate, mate, mate!!!" I stand, dust the ashes off of my jeans, and turn around. My heart drops when I recognize the werewolf standing about 200 feet away from me. This has to be a joke. This cannot be happening.	LEARN_MORE	https://getokn.com/market/goodnovel/1?lpid=10745&u	Massive story	https://www.facebook.com/61560932294131/	0	1969-12-31 18:00	Learn More	getokn.com	DCO		https://getokn.com/market/goodnovel/1?lpid=10745&utm_campaign={{campaign.name}}&utm_content={{campaign.id}}&adset_name={{adset.name}}&adset_id={{adset.id}}&ad_id={{ad.id}}&ad_name={{ad.name}}	1969-12-31 18:00	https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.35426-6/448916543_502070082268628_4383741934976369995_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s60x60_tt6&_nc_cat=108&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=c53f8f&_nc_ohc=s9H_nfuS-gEQ7kNvgHuZX8i&_nc_zt=14&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-1.xx&_nc_gid=A53oq0VlggduTf3dGfiA62F&oh=00_AYAmdpN4AnaAy16j5etKTQQ3ZgN4qfCMGygA3LAWhcXKIA&oe=676165D0	PERSON_PROFILE	Massive story	1969-12-31 18:00	View Edit Delete
2,644,976	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) '{"alias":2644944}'	Yes	2024-12-12 18:30	active	1996	🔞🔥 Continuer la lecture ➤➤	(Lily POV) Today is my 14th birthday. There will not be birthday cake, singing, or a party. Instead, we are attending a funeral. My sister's funeral, to be exact. Before my sister... died... we had a large party planned for me. I normally do not have a big party, but 14th birthdays are a really big event to werewolves. They are the day that we first meet our wolves. The next monumental birthday is our 20th birthday; that is when can first identify our fated mates. I am our Beta’s youngest daughter, and my father is loved and well-respected. Everyone was excited to meet my wolf and to see what type of wolf she would be. Thus, the guest list for my party was pretty large, and it included ranked wolves from nearby packs. I am normally a little bit of a loner, hence why I usually do not have a big birthday party. However, for this particular occasion, I was happy to have a lot of guests. Meeting your wolf comes with the first shift/ transition, and that can be incredibly painful. As inherently social creatures, the only thing known to help wolves with the pain of the first shift is to have supportive family, friends, and community around you. The way that it typically works is that the pack will host a dinner or barbeque in your honor. As night falls, and the moon replaces the sun in the sky, everyone will gather inside the pack amphitheater. The shifter-to-be will stand in the middle of the amphitheater while guests quietly chant well wishes and prayers to the Moon Goddess. The energy in the space can be electrifying for everyone present, no matter whether there are 25 attendees or 500. Once the first shift is completed, the new wolf will prance around the stage and strut their stuff. The crowd will “ooh” and “aah” until the pack alpha approaches, learns the new wolf’s name, and introduces the wolf to the crowd. The new wolf will also swear his or her allegiance to the pack and to the alpha, allowing the wolf to mind-link with other pack wolves. Finally, the new wolf and any guests old enough to shift will go for a pack run. The whole process is incredibly special and exciting. As you might imagine, décor is also an important part of the party planning process. Each shifter gets to decide the decorations and party theme that will be used for their party. If more than one wolf turns 14 on the same day, the wolves can either agree on a theme or split the party into parts that they can individually decorate. The pack luna will then work some sort of magic that somehow blends the individual areas into one cohesive theme in the center. My birthday is in October, and despite how large our pack is, I am the only one born on that day. I love having an October birthday because my favorite season is fall. For my décor, I had picked flowers and decorations in rich fall colors, including deep oranges, reds, and greens. Unfortunately, none of my party decorations will be used. Or rather, none of my decorations will be used for me. As I mentioned, we are holding a funeral today instead. My oldest sister, Stephanie, died this morning. Pack and religious tradition dictates that we must hold funerals within 24 hours of death. Because Stephanie died shortly after midnight, her funeral must be held today. All food and décor set aside for my birthday party was therefore immediately diverted for the funeral; thankfully my fall themed colors were sufficiently somber-ish to work. All decorations that seemed relatively “happy”, celebratory, or that mention me have been removed. Pictures of Stephanie have now been placed on tables and podiums, and the music I selected has been swapped out for songs about loss or Stephanie’s favorites. The loss of Stephanie is a really hurting. Not only was she my sister and my parents’ oldest and favorite child, she was also widely anticipated to be the mate of Alpha Randall’s son, James, which meant she was most likely the future luna of our pack. Stephanie would have turned 20 in three months, and she and James would have been able to confirm that they were mates then. The pack was so sure that they were mates —and Alpha Randall was so eager to turn the pack over to James and his mate, once she was identified and ready to take on the luna position— that they deviated from standard protocols and decided to begin Stephanie’s Luna training just after she turned 18. If I am being completely honest, something never sat right with me about Stephanie starting Luna training. Part of it is what Stephanie's Luna training meant for me, but that is a separate conversation. The biggest thing was that I did not understand why luna training could not wait until Stephanie turned 20 and could confirm who her mate was. Lunas for generations have waited for their training; why couldn't Stephanie? It also bothered me quite a bit to watch Stephanie hang all over James at pack functions. Our pack frowned upon dating and public displays of affection prior to finding your mate; it created too much risk for problems, anger, and jealousy once your mate was located. For whatever reason, an exception was made for Stephanie. But then again, exceptions always were made for her. Stephanie was strong and absolutely beautiful, and the pack knew her as being kind, smart, and energetic. She could do no wrong in the eyes of my parents, the alpha, or the pack. I hope I do not sound too jealous or bitter. I loved my sister, and her death is hitting me really hard. It’s just that…. I knew a different side of my sister than everyone else, and I know more than anyone that my sister was far from perfect. Had I spoken up before she died, I would have been accused of jealousy and lying. And were I to speak up now, well… I would be accused of jealousy, lying, AND improperly speaking ill of the dead. It is easier to just let it go. Along with my birthday. It isn't that important anyway. I do not want to be selfish or self-centered. The only immediate problem with letting go is that --bad timing or not-- I am going to shift for the first time tonight. There is nothing I can do to stop or postpone it, as much as I would like to do so. I am worried about how it is going to go. Hopefully, during the reception, my mother or father or brother or someone will be willing to step aside with me for a 20-30 minutes just to get me through it. We could then return and act like everything is normal. Or as normal as it can be with Stephanie now gone. Sadly, I should have known that nothing in life is that easy. Chapter 2: The Little Brat (James POV) I watch sadly as the casket is carried from the temple to the burial grounds. It is a cold October day, and the gray sky and drizzly weather adds to the overall somber atmosphere. I cannot help but be impressed at how quickly the pack was able to pull everything together for Stephanie's funeral. All funerals happen quickly in our world, but because of how fast the funerals must take place, the décor and guest list is usually somewhat lacking. It is a testament to how much Stephanie was loved that they were able to put together so many beautiful floral arrangements in her honor, and that so many people were able to be here to honor her life, including many wolves from other packs. If it wasn't for it being such a horrible occasion, I would actually describe the color scheme as beautiful. Then again, fall has always been one of my favorite seasons. I am vaguely aware that we had some other function on the calendar today, but I honestly cannot think of what it was. With a large pack —the West Mountain Pack has over 10,000 members— we have a lot of functions. As the future alpha, I am expected to attend as many of them as I possibly can, but no one expects me to remember what they all are… even if I try to pretend in the moment. Unless reminded by an Omega or my amazing girlfriend, I can't even seem to remember my own mother and father's birthdays most of the time. My amazing girlfriend. I sigh, wiping a tear from my eye. She will never again be around to remind me about birthdays. Sadly, there will be no pretending that I know what today's ceremony is about. Stephanie Brogan was the love of my life, and she was my future mate and luna. I still cannot believe that she is gone. We never even got to fully experience the mate bond, including the sparks betwwen us. Had she lived just three months longer, our wolves would have confirmed one another as mates and Stephanie would have been able to formally claim her proper place in my bed and in my life. Instead of welcoming her body into my bed, I am saying good-bye to her today. I am also saying good-bye to all of our future plans and dreams together. I cannot help but feel anger and resentment about that. This is not how things were supposed to be. As I watch the funeral procession go by --my father, mother, and I, along with the beta family, must stand at the entrance as guests move from the temple to the burial grounds-- I catch a glimpse of Stephanie’s younger sister, Lily. She is standing next to her mother. She looks both sad and innocent, which causes the anger in my body to rise even more. That little brat is the reason that Stephanie is dead. *FLASHBACK TO LAST NIGHT* Stephanie and I are cuddled on the couch in the packhouse living room watching a movie. I have my hand on her arm and I am about to kiss her when she gets distracted by a text message. Stephanie did not let me see the message, which annoys me, but she quickly explains that Lily is lost in the forest after having snuck out to meet a boy. Stephanie’s sister is 13 or 14 years old. She has all the teenage acne and attitude that comes along with being that young. Unlike Stephanie —who has beautiful blond hair and hazel eyes— Lily has reddish brown hair and bright green eyes. Or at least I think they are bright green; she usually has them covered up with large black glasses. Stephanie gets up and tells me that Lily has texted her, begging her to come and find her. I am annoyed by the interruption, but I offer to go with Stephanie to get the little brat. Stephanie says Lily will be upset if anyone else knows about her little escapade. Stephanie reassures me that she will be fine, and then gives me a quick peck. My wolf and I have a bad feeling when Stephanie leaves, but Stephanie has us wrapped around her little finger. It is almost impossible for my wolf and I to disagree with her about anything. We pause the movie and decide to get some work done in my dad's office while we wait for Stephanie to get back. I am a night owl anyway, so I do not mind waiting. Unfortunately, about an hour after Stephanie leaves, I get an urgent mind-link from our pack warriors. They report that the Little Brat had been spotted running out of the woods screaming for help. Before they can say much more, I shift into my wolf form and take off running. I follow Stephanie’s scent far into the woods…. until I come to a small clearing, which is covered in Stephanie’s blood. Her bloody clothes are tossed around, and chunks of her hair are thrown about as well. It is the worst, most savage site that I have ever seen. The smell of rogues is all over, so it is fairly obvious what has happened. The a---holes didn’t even bother to leave her body. *END OF FLASHBACK* Tears threaten to continue to fall as I think back to the scene last night. I have not slept or eaten since I found what was left of Stephanie, and I am having trouble holding my emotions together. Now that my eyes have spotted Lily, my anger with her becomes a welcome distraction. I have a very hard time looking away from her. The truth is that I have always found myself strangely curious about her, but today… today all I want to do is take my anger out on someone, and she seems as good a target as anyone else. Her teenage behavior cost me my mate! And it cost this pack its future luna! My wolf, Luke, begs me to calm down. It is an interesting thing, having the wolf side try to calm the human side. As upset and angry and emotional as I am, it is tempting to ignore him and immediately start teach that Little Brat a lesson. However, I decide to follow Luke's advice after he reminds me that Stephanie deserves to have her funeral be all about her and not some whiny teenage brat. That does not mean that I am going to let Lily get away with what she has done, but I wait until a more appropriate time to take my revenge. I turn my focus back to Stephanie’s casket, which we filled with her bloody clothes, hair, and anything that could be found at the site that had her blood on it. The casket has been brought to the center of the amphitheater. The alpha and beta families take their seats in the front row, and my father and the pack priest move beside the casket to begin the ceremony. The ceremony involves a lot of prayers, rituals, and speakers. The average ceremony takes 2-3 hours, and Stephanie's will most likely take closer to 4-5 hours given her status in the pack and how beloved she was. During the ceremony, I keep trying to distract myself by looking around as others around me. I do not want to be seen as weak by curling into the fetal position and wailing like a baby, even though that is the only thing I want to do right now. My heart breaks as I glance at Stephanie’s parents next to me in the front row, holding on to one another as they cry. Seeing Stephanie’s father —a strong, powerful Beta wolf— break down is a sight I have very rarely seen. The pain in his eyes is heart-wrenching. I also notice Stephanie's brother, Nick, as he clings to his mate, Jenny. Both of them are crying as well. Nick is my best friend, and I have known him since we were tiny pups, but I have literally never seen him cry. I notice that there are no dry eyes anywhere. Even my father has a few stray tears running down his cheeks, although I am sure he would punch anyone who pointed it out. He is a proud man, just like me. As the sky continues to darken, I notice the Little Brat starting to act like she is uncomfortable in her seat. I can tell that Stephanie's mother is getting agitated, and rightly so. For once, can the Little Brat not think about something other than herself? Seriously. It is one ceremony. Just one. For an older sister who died trying to help her. How dare the Little Brat not hold herself together? The next thing I know, the moon is high in the sky and the final rites are being spoken by the priest. As exactly that moment, the Little Brat whispers something in her mother’s ear. Her mother turns and glares at her, causing the Little Brat to put her head down. I then watch as the Little Brat stands up and walks away. She looks like she is in pain, and I hope that she is. How dare she walk away from her sister’s funeral! Especially in the middle of the last rites! I am tempted to follow her and give her a piece of my mind, but Stephanie means more to me than that. I remind myself once again that I will get my revenge on Lily aka the Little Brat soon enough. For tonight, I must remain focused on the love of my life. Chapter 3: Lily Meets Rose “Y-yes.” “Good. Now open your eyes.” I opened my eyes and immediately noticed that I was not human anymore. My feet and hands were paws. I then looked into the water that pooled at the edge of the waterfall, and I saw my reflection… or rather the reflection of Rose. My heart stopped. There are many different types of wolves —alpha wolves; beta wolves; gamma wolves; warrior wolves; silver wolves; white wolves; red wolves; omega wolves. And even within those categories, there are varying sizes and colors and markings. We learn about the types of wolves in school. “Expect the unexpected” was a phrase that was often said about the first transition, but in reality your wolf generally follows your lineage: the children of alpha wolves will generally be alpha wolves; the children of beta wolves will generally be beta wolves; and so on. Typically, the big excitement —especially with children of ranked wolves— centers on the size, color, and personality of the new wolf. Looking back at me in the reflection of the pool was a type of wolf I had never seen or learned about in school. Rose’s fur was a beautiful bluish-silver color that almost glowed. On the right side of her rump was a large black crescent moon symbol, and the black coloring of that symbol matched her solid black paws and black tail. In addition, I noticed that Rose was huge. Although it was tough to tell, it appeared to me that Rose was at least as large as some alpha wolves. “What type of wolf are we, Rose?” “A special type. You will learn more as time goes on, but know that the Moon Goddess has blessed you and I, Lily.” I did not say anything; I was not sure what to say. Rose and I sat by the waterfall for a while longer, until I remembered Stephanie’s funeral. “We need to get back!” I told Rose in a panic. Rose guided me through how to transform back to our human form, and I frantically searched the nearby trees for clothes. I found a men’s t-shirt and shorts. Both were far too big for my small frame, so I opted to just put the t-shirt on. I also grabbed my eye-glasses off the ground and put them on; thankfully they did not break during the transition. Now that I had Rose, I would not need the glasses anymore because she would heal my eyes. However, Rose warned me that —for now— it was best that I continue to wear the glasses and let the pack believe that I did not yet have my wolf. I thought it was a curious thing for her to say, but I had no reason to not trust her. I hurried back to the packhouse and got into the beta suite, hoping to quickly change clothes and re-join the mourning crowd. Unfortunately, once I got in the suite, I was met with the angry, accusing eyes of my mother. “WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? HOW DARE YOU MAKE A SCENE AT YOUR SISTER’S FUNERAL! HAVE YOU NO SHAME? ARE YOU SO SELFISH AND SELF-CENTERED THAT YOU CAN THINK OF NO ONE BUT YOURSELF?” I said nothing. What could I say? My mother then did something that, in my 14 years, she had never done before. She slapped me. Hard. And the beating continued from there. Chapter 4: Living in the Shadows (6 years later) (Lily POV) Six years have now passed since that fateful day that Stephanie died. I wish that I could say that life has moved on, and that we have found good in the bad... but for the most part, it isn't true. Stephanie is just as much a part of this pack today as she was before she died. And the grief felt in the pack is just as raw and angry as it was that first day. If anything has changed, it is that --instead of Stephanie being out in the center of things-- she lives on almost like a shadow over everything. She now has a couple of streets named after her --Stephanie Lane and Steffie Avenue (her nickname was "Steffie"); and you can quite literally find some of her favorite outfits on display in glass cases at various places throughout the pack. Even more bizarre, the day she died was turned into a pack holiday, as was her birthday. Everyone but pack omegas have both days off from work, school, and training, and there are somber celebrations and remembrances planned to commemorate each occasion. I once made the mistake of asking my parents whether this was a normal reaction to the death of a single she-wolf. We can love and miss her, but to continue to hold large ceremonies every year? And to treat her as a saint and forget that she had a human side too? That seemed a bit too much to me. As far as I know, the pack has never done this for any other luna or future luna, and it only honors 2-3 historical alphas in such a manner. I was rewarded for my questions by being called jealous and hateful. (I also received a significant beating, but beatings had become commonplace from my mother, so I cannot say that my question necessarily triggered the beating I received that day. Plus, the beating hurt far less than what I received before Stephanie died. But for the slight pain and who did the beating, I almost would not have minded.) Overall, I think the worst part of losing Stephanie six years ago wasn't losing Stephanie... it was how losing Stephanie impacted my relationship with my parents and other pack members. Before Stephanie died, I was well aware that Stephanie was my parents' favorite. My older brother Nick and I would even joke about it from time to time. But even though Stephanie was their favorite, they still treated me really well and loved me. They never would have raised a hand to me before Stephanie died. After Stephanie died, however, my parents could barely look at me. And when they did, I saw the unmistakable wish in their eyes that it had been me, not Stephanie, that died that fateful night. In addition, my parents stopped caring about my well-being generally. I lived in their house until I was 17, but I was responsible for my own meals and necessities. I was forced to take on a part-time job at a nearby diner just to ensure I had clothes and food to eat. (I technically could have eaten the food that was available in the packhouse, but the dirty looks and mean comments made by my parents, James, and other pack members were enough to make that an unrealistic option.) Also, in case you are wondering, I have not celebrated a birthday since Stephanie died. Not one single soul other than Rose has bothered to tell me happy birthday. No one even bothered to ask me whether I had received my wolf. That wasn't because birthdays stopped being important; it was just mine whose meaning changed. I attended plenty of birthday parties, and the pack hosted plenty of 14th birthday celebrations. In fact, I think it was because of one of those birthday celebrations that someone finally questioned whether I had received a wolf. It was a legitimate question, given that I was over 14 and never joined a pack run. Rose encouraged me early on to skip them "for safety reasons," and I was all too happy to do so. Had anyone bothered to ask me directly about my wolf or about why I was skipping the pack runs, I would have been honest... but no one ever did. Instead, a rumor spread that I was wolfless. Pack members speculated that I lost my wolf as a result of post-traumatic stress from losing Stephanie and/or guilt for what I had done to Stephanie. That latter theory was the one that really got under my skin, because I knew that was a theory and rumor spread by James. Shortly after Stephanie's funeral, he told my parents and most of the pack that Stephanie was only in the forest that night to save me. He also said I had gone out to meet a boy. I have no idea why he would say such things; I have never had a boyfriend and Stephanie was the one who asked me to meet her in the forest. This rumor was the main reason that I received a beating from my mother the night of my first shift. And it probably adds to the reason that pack members wish me dead. Notably, though, I have never dared to defend myself. To tell the truth would be the equivalent of talking negatively of both Stephanie and our future alpha.... and would likely lead to a death sentence. So instead, I have always just pushed through. One of the ways that I have survived is to hold on to the faith that one day things will be different. Another thing that I have done is take every last opportunity to leave the pack. For example, I hurried through high school so that I could graduate early, and I then went away to college. To avoid coming home, I have been loading up on credit hours and taking every term of school -including the mini winter sessions-- that I can get. I am also taking advantage of a unique expedited program offered just for werewolves doctors. Given all of these things, I actually expect that I can become a fully licensed werewolf doctor in just a couple more years. Until I become fully licensed and independent, I will have to continue to bear the shadow of my sister and the pain that comes with it. I am required to be present for both of her holidays --all pack members are; there are no exceptions-- but thankfully those are among the very few times that I can reliably be found at the Western Mountain pack these days. My ultimate goal is to meet my mate and become a pack doctor in his pack... which I pray to the Moon Goddess is not the Western Mountain pack. If, Goddess forbid, my mate is in this pack, perhaps I can convince him to transfer packs with me. Goddess willing. Tomorrow is my birthday. I guess we will find out then. Chapter 5: Without His Luna (James POV) Tomorrow will mark six years since Stephanie died. Everything and nothing has changed. I still think of Stephanie every single day. Her beautiful smile. Her laugh. The kindness that she showed to pack members. The ethusiam that she showed for her luna training. Stephanie would have been an amazing and strong luna. Had Stephanie lived, we would have been happily married by now. We would probably have already had at least two adorable pups, who would have been doted on by two loving sets of grandparents. Together, Stephanie and I would have been leading the West Mountain Pack to new heights. Of course, Stephanie is no longer here. And without Stephanie… Well, without Stephanie, I am only a fraction of the man that I used to be, and only a fraction of the wolf. Without Stephanie, I am not even Alpha yet. In our world, most alpha heirs take over from their fathers between 25 and 30 years old. That timing ensures that most alphas will have already found their mates before they take over the running of a pack. Running a pack is not easy to do by yourself. Even with a strong beta and a strong gamma, a luna’s importance to a pack cannot be underestimated. A luna brings heart and balance to a pack and to the alpha himself. She is the alpha’s equal, and she is one of the few werewolves in the pack who can get away with challenging and questioning an alpha’s decisions. If she exercises her role properly and judiciously, a luna’s presence can lead to better overall outcomes, decisions, and governing. This is especially true if the luna is the alpha’s fated mate, because it means she takes on her role with the blessing of the Moon Goddess. Alpha heirs who take over their packs prior to turning 25 typically do so either out of necessity, or because they have been fortunate to have been mated very early to a strong luna. Six years ago, when Stephanie was still alive, my father thought we were going to be part of the lucky latter category. He had been very eager to take an early retirement. He and my mother had fantasized about all the European trips and Caribbean cruises that they would take after I was sworn in as alpha, and they had already had tentative plans for at least one of those trips. Of course, all of those plans were ultimately scrapped. Today, I am old enough to take over as alpha, even without a luna by my side… but my father is concerned that I am not mentally strong enough to do so yet. He sees me as broken. My father is probably right. It is a little hard not to feel broken. The reminders of Stephanie are everywhere. Even after six long years, I feel like I cannot escape from the reminders or from my grief, and it is suffocating. The packhouse has practically turned into a mini museum to her, and almost all of the local businesses have some sort of small dedication, whether it be a dedicated drink, food item, picture, or shelf of Stephanie-inspired items. Worse, twice a year, we hold a series of ceremonies and remembrances for Stephanie. As Stephanie’s mate and as the future alpha heir, I am expected to attend every one of them. I want to be there. I know that I should be there. But… It is complete and utter torture. Every day without Stephanie is difficult, but Stephanie’s birthdays and death anniversaries always hit me the hardest. What I want to do more than anything on those two days is be by myself so that I can process my grief. There is a waterfall that I like to go to. If I could, I would spend all day there on both days. The waterfall isn’t exactly hidden, but to find it, you have to go pretty far within the woods and know where to go. As far as I know, I am the only one in our pack who ever goes there. Being at the waterfall brings me comfort; it always has. That is where I want to be when I am grieving or upset. Unfortunately, instead of spending time in the comfort of my waterfall, I have to spend the two hardest days each year out in public with almost 20,000 eyes watching my every move and every reaction. Instead of just… grieving… I have to be conscientious of how every display of emotion can impact and be perceived by the pack members. As I listen to pack members, Stephanie’s parents, and my own parents take turns telling stories about Stephanie and her good deeds, I am expected to somehow strike an impossible balance between sadness and strength. At each of the events, year after year, the remembrances are largely the same. At this point, I practically have the speeches memorized. The speeches usually include stories about how Stephanie would bake cookies and send her sister to deliver them to the guards working the late-night shift on the borders. And stories about how any time anyone was injured in training or at battle, she would not only have her sister deliver care baskets to patients at the hospital, but she would also put one together for any family members separated from them while they were recovering. My parents talk about how eager Stephanie was to take on her position as luna, and how dedicated she was to her training, even working on lessons for hours at home multiple times per week. Stephanie’s parents talk about their prior dreams for their daughter and the hole they continue to feel in their hearts. Nick talks about how family celebrations do not feel the same without Stephanie there, and Jenny talks about wishing that she still had a sister-in-law to bond with and engage in girl talk. The only blessing is that —as the grieving mate— no one expects me to say anything at these events. But that does not spare me from the staring and judgment. If I show too much sadness, pack members worry that I am weak and will not able to be the leader of the pack in the future. If I seem too stoic or show too much “strength,” pack members could perceive me being disrespectful towards Stephanie’s memory. They will also worry that my reign as alpha will lack balance and compassion…. which I already hear whispers about from time to time. Sometimes, I feel angry about the whole thing. I would never, ever expect anyone who has lost their mate to put themselves on a stage multiple times a year and be judged on whether their external grief is appropriate enough. And yet my parents have no problem doing it to me. I tried to push back once, but only once. As you can imagine, it did not go well. I started the conversation by telling my parents that I did not think it was healthy for me to be surrounded by constant reminders of Stephanie, and I told them that I thought the constant remembrances were counterproductive to my mental health. I suggested that we scale back the events, or make them more private affairs. My father got angry and accused me of being selfish. He told me that being uncomfortable and coping with the pressure of judgmental pack members is part of being an alpha. Meanwhile, my mother reminded me that the ceremonies had been Stephanie’s parents’ idea, and she asked me if I wanted to be the one to tell them it was no longer important to celebrate Stephanie’s life. No, of course I did not want to tell Stephanie's parents that. No, I did not want to be selfish. I just wanted --and still want-- to not feel so sad all the time. Six years in, and the only reprieve I ever get from my grief is when the Little Brat is around. She has made herself scarce the last few years, but when she is around, my wolf and I can sense her from a mile away. My wolf and I fight about her all the time --for some reason, Luke seems to have a soft spot for the Little Brat-- but we can agree that it is nice having her around. For me, it's because I have a worthy target for my anger and rage. Chapter 8: Daddy's Girl (Lily POV) The drive to the pack house was eerily silent. After my father and I arrived at the pack house, my father quickly exited the vehicle and headed to his office, leaving me on my own. I timidly and cautiously got into the beta suite, but I was relieved to find that my mother was already in bed. I decided to go directly to my room and try to sleep as well. Unfortunately, I ended up tossing and turning all night. The look on my father's face when talking to the guards continued to haunt me. When I did sleep, I had nightmares. Strangely, Rose seemed restless too, but other than briefly wishing me a happy birthday after it hit midnight, she did not say anything. I think the main thing that provoked my nightmares and kept me up was that my heart ached for my father. I knew that I wanted to help him with his pain and ease his suffering, but I was not sure what I could do or say to make things better. It has already been six years. If time has not helped heal his heart, what could I do? The truth is, I am not Stephanie and I never will be. The only thing I have ever known how to do for my father is to try to stay out of his way. At least for my mother, I can serve as a literal punching bag to help her relieve her grief. And for others in the pack, I can serve as both a literal and metaphorical punching bag. But, I am nothing to my father: my father has neglected me and ignored the sufferings I went through, but he has never directly participated in any of them. Perhaps that is one reason his pain upsets me more than the pain of everyone else. He is the least awful amongst my current tormentors, and I can sometimes lie to myself that he does not know or agree with how much I have suffered. I know that it probably seems strange that my heart aches for him at all, given that he is someone who, for the most part, could care less about me. However, please understand that for my own sanity, I have chosen to remember and hold on to the good times in my childhood. Of course, there is also the fact that... regardless of how my father currently feels about me... I have always been --and will probably always be-- a daddy's girl. It is just part of who I am. Since I was in diapers, I have looked up to my father and considered him to be my superhero. Before Stephanie died, I never saw an ounce of weakness in him. He was my strength and my rock. I always had an strong desire to make him proud of me. He was always the first one I ran to when I got a good grade on a test, or when I drew a picture I thought he might like. And ...before Stephanie died... he was always the first one to dry my tears when I got hurt or to give me reassuring praise when I felt down. Even though I knew Stephanie was his favorite... even though I knew Stephanie's accomplishments would always be greater, and that he would always be more proud of her... those little things mattered to me. I lived for those moments. Sigh. By 5:30 am, I gave up on any hope of further sleep. Stephanie's first remembrance event was not scheduled until 11 am, so I knew I had a little bit of time. Eager to take advantage of that time and also avoid my mother, I took a quick shower, packed a small backpack, and headed out of the house. Predictably, my feet led me to the waterfall that I had shifted in front of six years ago. I have come here at least twice a year since Stephanie died, usually on her birthday and death anniversary. The waterfall brings me an odd sense of peace. As beautiful as it is, I do not know anyone else who comes here. Perhaps that is why I like it so much. I sighed. "It is easy to tell myself that when I am away from the pack and not having to cope with the consequences. It is a lot harder to believe that I am blameless when everyone around me is crying and upset all the time. You saw my dad last night. That nearly broke me. He is still hurting so much." "That does not make any of it your fault," Rose protests. "Rose, the day before Stephanie died, I prayed that the Moon Goddess stop Stephanie from continuing to hurt me." "She was not hurting you, Lily. She was torturing you. There is nothing wrong with you praying that it stop." "There is if it cost Stephanie her life." "Lily, you are not giving the Moon Goddess enough credit. You are smarter and stronger than this. You need to stop with the emotional vomit and ---" Suddenly Rose stops talking through the link. She is pacing back in forth in my head. I have no idea what is going on, until the overwhelming scent of vanilla and coffee beans hits my nose. "Mate! Lily, our mate is here! Mate, mate, mate, mate, mate!!!" I stand, dust the ashes off of my jeans, and turn around. My heart drops when I recognize the werewolf standing about 200 feet away from me. This has to be a joke. This cannot be happening.	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2,644,977	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) '{"alias":2644944}'	No	2024-12-12 18:30	active	1996	🔞🔥 Continuer la lecture ➤➤	(Lily POV) Today is my 14th birthday. There will not be birthday cake, singing, or a party. Instead, we are attending a funeral. My sister's funeral, to be exact. Before my sister... died... we had a large party planned for me. I normally do not have a big party, but 14th birthdays are a really big event to werewolves. They are the day that we first meet our wolves. The next monumental birthday is our 20th birthday; that is when can first identify our fated mates. I am our Beta’s youngest daughter, and my father is loved and well-respected. Everyone was excited to meet my wolf and to see what type of wolf she would be. Thus, the guest list for my party was pretty large, and it included ranked wolves from nearby packs. I am normally a little bit of a loner, hence why I usually do not have a big birthday party. However, for this particular occasion, I was happy to have a lot of guests. Meeting your wolf comes with the first shift/ transition, and that can be incredibly painful. As inherently social creatures, the only thing known to help wolves with the pain of the first shift is to have supportive family, friends, and community around you. The way that it typically works is that the pack will host a dinner or barbeque in your honor. As night falls, and the moon replaces the sun in the sky, everyone will gather inside the pack amphitheater. The shifter-to-be will stand in the middle of the amphitheater while guests quietly chant well wishes and prayers to the Moon Goddess. The energy in the space can be electrifying for everyone present, no matter whether there are 25 attendees or 500. Once the first shift is completed, the new wolf will prance around the stage and strut their stuff. The crowd will “ooh” and “aah” until the pack alpha approaches, learns the new wolf’s name, and introduces the wolf to the crowd. The new wolf will also swear his or her allegiance to the pack and to the alpha, allowing the wolf to mind-link with other pack wolves. Finally, the new wolf and any guests old enough to shift will go for a pack run. The whole process is incredibly special and exciting. As you might imagine, décor is also an important part of the party planning process. Each shifter gets to decide the decorations and party theme that will be used for their party. If more than one wolf turns 14 on the same day, the wolves can either agree on a theme or split the party into parts that they can individually decorate. The pack luna will then work some sort of magic that somehow blends the individual areas into one cohesive theme in the center. My birthday is in October, and despite how large our pack is, I am the only one born on that day. I love having an October birthday because my favorite season is fall. For my décor, I had picked flowers and decorations in rich fall colors, including deep oranges, reds, and greens. Unfortunately, none of my party decorations will be used. Or rather, none of my decorations will be used for me. As I mentioned, we are holding a funeral today instead. My oldest sister, Stephanie, died this morning. Pack and religious tradition dictates that we must hold funerals within 24 hours of death. Because Stephanie died shortly after midnight, her funeral must be held today. All food and décor set aside for my birthday party was therefore immediately diverted for the funeral; thankfully my fall themed colors were sufficiently somber-ish to work. All decorations that seemed relatively “happy”, celebratory, or that mention me have been removed. Pictures of Stephanie have now been placed on tables and podiums, and the music I selected has been swapped out for songs about loss or Stephanie’s favorites. The loss of Stephanie is a really hurting. Not only was she my sister and my parents’ oldest and favorite child, she was also widely anticipated to be the mate of Alpha Randall’s son, James, which meant she was most likely the future luna of our pack. Stephanie would have turned 20 in three months, and she and James would have been able to confirm that they were mates then. The pack was so sure that they were mates —and Alpha Randall was so eager to turn the pack over to James and his mate, once she was identified and ready to take on the luna position— that they deviated from standard protocols and decided to begin Stephanie’s Luna training just after she turned 18. If I am being completely honest, something never sat right with me about Stephanie starting Luna training. Part of it is what Stephanie's Luna training meant for me, but that is a separate conversation. The biggest thing was that I did not understand why luna training could not wait until Stephanie turned 20 and could confirm who her mate was. Lunas for generations have waited for their training; why couldn't Stephanie? It also bothered me quite a bit to watch Stephanie hang all over James at pack functions. Our pack frowned upon dating and public displays of affection prior to finding your mate; it created too much risk for problems, anger, and jealousy once your mate was located. For whatever reason, an exception was made for Stephanie. But then again, exceptions always were made for her. Stephanie was strong and absolutely beautiful, and the pack knew her as being kind, smart, and energetic. She could do no wrong in the eyes of my parents, the alpha, or the pack. I hope I do not sound too jealous or bitter. I loved my sister, and her death is hitting me really hard. It’s just that…. I knew a different side of my sister than everyone else, and I know more than anyone that my sister was far from perfect. Had I spoken up before she died, I would have been accused of jealousy and lying. And were I to speak up now, well… I would be accused of jealousy, lying, AND improperly speaking ill of the dead. It is easier to just let it go. Along with my birthday. It isn't that important anyway. I do not want to be selfish or self-centered. The only immediate problem with letting go is that --bad timing or not-- I am going to shift for the first time tonight. There is nothing I can do to stop or postpone it, as much as I would like to do so. I am worried about how it is going to go. Hopefully, during the reception, my mother or father or brother or someone will be willing to step aside with me for a 20-30 minutes just to get me through it. We could then return and act like everything is normal. Or as normal as it can be with Stephanie now gone. Sadly, I should have known that nothing in life is that easy. Chapter 2: The Little Brat (James POV) I watch sadly as the casket is carried from the temple to the burial grounds. It is a cold October day, and the gray sky and drizzly weather adds to the overall somber atmosphere. I cannot help but be impressed at how quickly the pack was able to pull everything together for Stephanie's funeral. All funerals happen quickly in our world, but because of how fast the funerals must take place, the décor and guest list is usually somewhat lacking. It is a testament to how much Stephanie was loved that they were able to put together so many beautiful floral arrangements in her honor, and that so many people were able to be here to honor her life, including many wolves from other packs. If it wasn't for it being such a horrible occasion, I would actually describe the color scheme as beautiful. Then again, fall has always been one of my favorite seasons. I am vaguely aware that we had some other function on the calendar today, but I honestly cannot think of what it was. With a large pack —the West Mountain Pack has over 10,000 members— we have a lot of functions. As the future alpha, I am expected to attend as many of them as I possibly can, but no one expects me to remember what they all are… even if I try to pretend in the moment. Unless reminded by an Omega or my amazing girlfriend, I can't even seem to remember my own mother and father's birthdays most of the time. My amazing girlfriend. I sigh, wiping a tear from my eye. She will never again be around to remind me about birthdays. Sadly, there will be no pretending that I know what today's ceremony is about. Stephanie Brogan was the love of my life, and she was my future mate and luna. I still cannot believe that she is gone. We never even got to fully experience the mate bond, including the sparks betwwen us. Had she lived just three months longer, our wolves would have confirmed one another as mates and Stephanie would have been able to formally claim her proper place in my bed and in my life. Instead of welcoming her body into my bed, I am saying good-bye to her today. I am also saying good-bye to all of our future plans and dreams together. I cannot help but feel anger and resentment about that. This is not how things were supposed to be. As I watch the funeral procession go by --my father, mother, and I, along with the beta family, must stand at the entrance as guests move from the temple to the burial grounds-- I catch a glimpse of Stephanie’s younger sister, Lily. She is standing next to her mother. She looks both sad and innocent, which causes the anger in my body to rise even more. That little brat is the reason that Stephanie is dead. *FLASHBACK TO LAST NIGHT* Stephanie and I are cuddled on the couch in the packhouse living room watching a movie. I have my hand on her arm and I am about to kiss her when she gets distracted by a text message. Stephanie did not let me see the message, which annoys me, but she quickly explains that Lily is lost in the forest after having snuck out to meet a boy. Stephanie’s sister is 13 or 14 years old. She has all the teenage acne and attitude that comes along with being that young. Unlike Stephanie —who has beautiful blond hair and hazel eyes— Lily has reddish brown hair and bright green eyes. Or at least I think they are bright green; she usually has them covered up with large black glasses. Stephanie gets up and tells me that Lily has texted her, begging her to come and find her. I am annoyed by the interruption, but I offer to go with Stephanie to get the little brat. Stephanie says Lily will be upset if anyone else knows about her little escapade. Stephanie reassures me that she will be fine, and then gives me a quick peck. My wolf and I have a bad feeling when Stephanie leaves, but Stephanie has us wrapped around her little finger. It is almost impossible for my wolf and I to disagree with her about anything. We pause the movie and decide to get some work done in my dad's office while we wait for Stephanie to get back. I am a night owl anyway, so I do not mind waiting. Unfortunately, about an hour after Stephanie leaves, I get an urgent mind-link from our pack warriors. They report that the Little Brat had been spotted running out of the woods screaming for help. Before they can say much more, I shift into my wolf form and take off running. I follow Stephanie’s scent far into the woods…. until I come to a small clearing, which is covered in Stephanie’s blood. Her bloody clothes are tossed around, and chunks of her hair are thrown about as well. It is the worst, most savage site that I have ever seen. The smell of rogues is all over, so it is fairly obvious what has happened. The a---holes didn’t even bother to leave her body. *END OF FLASHBACK* Tears threaten to continue to fall as I think back to the scene last night. I have not slept or eaten since I found what was left of Stephanie, and I am having trouble holding my emotions together. Now that my eyes have spotted Lily, my anger with her becomes a welcome distraction. I have a very hard time looking away from her. The truth is that I have always found myself strangely curious about her, but today… today all I want to do is take my anger out on someone, and she seems as good a target as anyone else. Her teenage behavior cost me my mate! And it cost this pack its future luna! My wolf, Luke, begs me to calm down. It is an interesting thing, having the wolf side try to calm the human side. As upset and angry and emotional as I am, it is tempting to ignore him and immediately start teach that Little Brat a lesson. However, I decide to follow Luke's advice after he reminds me that Stephanie deserves to have her funeral be all about her and not some whiny teenage brat. That does not mean that I am going to let Lily get away with what she has done, but I wait until a more appropriate time to take my revenge. I turn my focus back to Stephanie’s casket, which we filled with her bloody clothes, hair, and anything that could be found at the site that had her blood on it. The casket has been brought to the center of the amphitheater. The alpha and beta families take their seats in the front row, and my father and the pack priest move beside the casket to begin the ceremony. The ceremony involves a lot of prayers, rituals, and speakers. The average ceremony takes 2-3 hours, and Stephanie's will most likely take closer to 4-5 hours given her status in the pack and how beloved she was. During the ceremony, I keep trying to distract myself by looking around as others around me. I do not want to be seen as weak by curling into the fetal position and wailing like a baby, even though that is the only thing I want to do right now. My heart breaks as I glance at Stephanie’s parents next to me in the front row, holding on to one another as they cry. Seeing Stephanie’s father —a strong, powerful Beta wolf— break down is a sight I have very rarely seen. The pain in his eyes is heart-wrenching. I also notice Stephanie's brother, Nick, as he clings to his mate, Jenny. Both of them are crying as well. Nick is my best friend, and I have known him since we were tiny pups, but I have literally never seen him cry. I notice that there are no dry eyes anywhere. Even my father has a few stray tears running down his cheeks, although I am sure he would punch anyone who pointed it out. He is a proud man, just like me. As the sky continues to darken, I notice the Little Brat starting to act like she is uncomfortable in her seat. I can tell that Stephanie's mother is getting agitated, and rightly so. For once, can the Little Brat not think about something other than herself? Seriously. It is one ceremony. Just one. For an older sister who died trying to help her. How dare the Little Brat not hold herself together? The next thing I know, the moon is high in the sky and the final rites are being spoken by the priest. As exactly that moment, the Little Brat whispers something in her mother’s ear. Her mother turns and glares at her, causing the Little Brat to put her head down. I then watch as the Little Brat stands up and walks away. She looks like she is in pain, and I hope that she is. How dare she walk away from her sister’s funeral! Especially in the middle of the last rites! I am tempted to follow her and give her a piece of my mind, but Stephanie means more to me than that. I remind myself once again that I will get my revenge on Lily aka the Little Brat soon enough. For tonight, I must remain focused on the love of my life. Chapter 3: Lily Meets Rose “Y-yes.” “Good. Now open your eyes.” I opened my eyes and immediately noticed that I was not human anymore. My feet and hands were paws. I then looked into the water that pooled at the edge of the waterfall, and I saw my reflection… or rather the reflection of Rose. My heart stopped. There are many different types of wolves —alpha wolves; beta wolves; gamma wolves; warrior wolves; silver wolves; white wolves; red wolves; omega wolves. And even within those categories, there are varying sizes and colors and markings. We learn about the types of wolves in school. “Expect the unexpected” was a phrase that was often said about the first transition, but in reality your wolf generally follows your lineage: the children of alpha wolves will generally be alpha wolves; the children of beta wolves will generally be beta wolves; and so on. Typically, the big excitement —especially with children of ranked wolves— centers on the size, color, and personality of the new wolf. Looking back at me in the reflection of the pool was a type of wolf I had never seen or learned about in school. Rose’s fur was a beautiful bluish-silver color that almost glowed. On the right side of her rump was a large black crescent moon symbol, and the black coloring of that symbol matched her solid black paws and black tail. In addition, I noticed that Rose was huge. Although it was tough to tell, it appeared to me that Rose was at least as large as some alpha wolves. “What type of wolf are we, Rose?” “A special type. You will learn more as time goes on, but know that the Moon Goddess has blessed you and I, Lily.” I did not say anything; I was not sure what to say. Rose and I sat by the waterfall for a while longer, until I remembered Stephanie’s funeral. “We need to get back!” I told Rose in a panic. Rose guided me through how to transform back to our human form, and I frantically searched the nearby trees for clothes. I found a men’s t-shirt and shorts. Both were far too big for my small frame, so I opted to just put the t-shirt on. I also grabbed my eye-glasses off the ground and put them on; thankfully they did not break during the transition. Now that I had Rose, I would not need the glasses anymore because she would heal my eyes. However, Rose warned me that —for now— it was best that I continue to wear the glasses and let the pack believe that I did not yet have my wolf. I thought it was a curious thing for her to say, but I had no reason to not trust her. I hurried back to the packhouse and got into the beta suite, hoping to quickly change clothes and re-join the mourning crowd. Unfortunately, once I got in the suite, I was met with the angry, accusing eyes of my mother. “WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? HOW DARE YOU MAKE A SCENE AT YOUR SISTER’S FUNERAL! HAVE YOU NO SHAME? ARE YOU SO SELFISH AND SELF-CENTERED THAT YOU CAN THINK OF NO ONE BUT YOURSELF?” I said nothing. What could I say? My mother then did something that, in my 14 years, she had never done before. She slapped me. Hard. And the beating continued from there. Chapter 4: Living in the Shadows (6 years later) (Lily POV) Six years have now passed since that fateful day that Stephanie died. I wish that I could say that life has moved on, and that we have found good in the bad... but for the most part, it isn't true. Stephanie is just as much a part of this pack today as she was before she died. And the grief felt in the pack is just as raw and angry as it was that first day. If anything has changed, it is that --instead of Stephanie being out in the center of things-- she lives on almost like a shadow over everything. She now has a couple of streets named after her --Stephanie Lane and Steffie Avenue (her nickname was "Steffie"); and you can quite literally find some of her favorite outfits on display in glass cases at various places throughout the pack. Even more bizarre, the day she died was turned into a pack holiday, as was her birthday. Everyone but pack omegas have both days off from work, school, and training, and there are somber celebrations and remembrances planned to commemorate each occasion. I once made the mistake of asking my parents whether this was a normal reaction to the death of a single she-wolf. We can love and miss her, but to continue to hold large ceremonies every year? And to treat her as a saint and forget that she had a human side too? That seemed a bit too much to me. As far as I know, the pack has never done this for any other luna or future luna, and it only honors 2-3 historical alphas in such a manner. I was rewarded for my questions by being called jealous and hateful. (I also received a significant beating, but beatings had become commonplace from my mother, so I cannot say that my question necessarily triggered the beating I received that day. Plus, the beating hurt far less than what I received before Stephanie died. But for the slight pain and who did the beating, I almost would not have minded.) Overall, I think the worst part of losing Stephanie six years ago wasn't losing Stephanie... it was how losing Stephanie impacted my relationship with my parents and other pack members. Before Stephanie died, I was well aware that Stephanie was my parents' favorite. My older brother Nick and I would even joke about it from time to time. But even though Stephanie was their favorite, they still treated me really well and loved me. They never would have raised a hand to me before Stephanie died. After Stephanie died, however, my parents could barely look at me. And when they did, I saw the unmistakable wish in their eyes that it had been me, not Stephanie, that died that fateful night. In addition, my parents stopped caring about my well-being generally. I lived in their house until I was 17, but I was responsible for my own meals and necessities. I was forced to take on a part-time job at a nearby diner just to ensure I had clothes and food to eat. (I technically could have eaten the food that was available in the packhouse, but the dirty looks and mean comments made by my parents, James, and other pack members were enough to make that an unrealistic option.) Also, in case you are wondering, I have not celebrated a birthday since Stephanie died. Not one single soul other than Rose has bothered to tell me happy birthday. No one even bothered to ask me whether I had received my wolf. That wasn't because birthdays stopped being important; it was just mine whose meaning changed. I attended plenty of birthday parties, and the pack hosted plenty of 14th birthday celebrations. In fact, I think it was because of one of those birthday celebrations that someone finally questioned whether I had received a wolf. It was a legitimate question, given that I was over 14 and never joined a pack run. Rose encouraged me early on to skip them "for safety reasons," and I was all too happy to do so. Had anyone bothered to ask me directly about my wolf or about why I was skipping the pack runs, I would have been honest... but no one ever did. Instead, a rumor spread that I was wolfless. Pack members speculated that I lost my wolf as a result of post-traumatic stress from losing Stephanie and/or guilt for what I had done to Stephanie. That latter theory was the one that really got under my skin, because I knew that was a theory and rumor spread by James. Shortly after Stephanie's funeral, he told my parents and most of the pack that Stephanie was only in the forest that night to save me. He also said I had gone out to meet a boy. I have no idea why he would say such things; I have never had a boyfriend and Stephanie was the one who asked me to meet her in the forest. This rumor was the main reason that I received a beating from my mother the night of my first shift. And it probably adds to the reason that pack members wish me dead. Notably, though, I have never dared to defend myself. To tell the truth would be the equivalent of talking negatively of both Stephanie and our future alpha.... and would likely lead to a death sentence. So instead, I have always just pushed through. One of the ways that I have survived is to hold on to the faith that one day things will be different. Another thing that I have done is take every last opportunity to leave the pack. For example, I hurried through high school so that I could graduate early, and I then went away to college. To avoid coming home, I have been loading up on credit hours and taking every term of school -including the mini winter sessions-- that I can get. I am also taking advantage of a unique expedited program offered just for werewolves doctors. Given all of these things, I actually expect that I can become a fully licensed werewolf doctor in just a couple more years. Until I become fully licensed and independent, I will have to continue to bear the shadow of my sister and the pain that comes with it. I am required to be present for both of her holidays --all pack members are; there are no exceptions-- but thankfully those are among the very few times that I can reliably be found at the Western Mountain pack these days. My ultimate goal is to meet my mate and become a pack doctor in his pack... which I pray to the Moon Goddess is not the Western Mountain pack. If, Goddess forbid, my mate is in this pack, perhaps I can convince him to transfer packs with me. Goddess willing. Tomorrow is my birthday. I guess we will find out then. Chapter 5: Without His Luna (James POV) Tomorrow will mark six years since Stephanie died. Everything and nothing has changed. I still think of Stephanie every single day. Her beautiful smile. Her laugh. The kindness that she showed to pack members. The ethusiam that she showed for her luna training. Stephanie would have been an amazing and strong luna. Had Stephanie lived, we would have been happily married by now. We would probably have already had at least two adorable pups, who would have been doted on by two loving sets of grandparents. Together, Stephanie and I would have been leading the West Mountain Pack to new heights. Of course, Stephanie is no longer here. And without Stephanie… Well, without Stephanie, I am only a fraction of the man that I used to be, and only a fraction of the wolf. Without Stephanie, I am not even Alpha yet. In our world, most alpha heirs take over from their fathers between 25 and 30 years old. That timing ensures that most alphas will have already found their mates before they take over the running of a pack. Running a pack is not easy to do by yourself. Even with a strong beta and a strong gamma, a luna’s importance to a pack cannot be underestimated. A luna brings heart and balance to a pack and to the alpha himself. She is the alpha’s equal, and she is one of the few werewolves in the pack who can get away with challenging and questioning an alpha’s decisions. If she exercises her role properly and judiciously, a luna’s presence can lead to better overall outcomes, decisions, and governing. This is especially true if the luna is the alpha’s fated mate, because it means she takes on her role with the blessing of the Moon Goddess. Alpha heirs who take over their packs prior to turning 25 typically do so either out of necessity, or because they have been fortunate to have been mated very early to a strong luna. Six years ago, when Stephanie was still alive, my father thought we were going to be part of the lucky latter category. He had been very eager to take an early retirement. He and my mother had fantasized about all the European trips and Caribbean cruises that they would take after I was sworn in as alpha, and they had already had tentative plans for at least one of those trips. Of course, all of those plans were ultimately scrapped. Today, I am old enough to take over as alpha, even without a luna by my side… but my father is concerned that I am not mentally strong enough to do so yet. He sees me as broken. My father is probably right. It is a little hard not to feel broken. The reminders of Stephanie are everywhere. Even after six long years, I feel like I cannot escape from the reminders or from my grief, and it is suffocating. The packhouse has practically turned into a mini museum to her, and almost all of the local businesses have some sort of small dedication, whether it be a dedicated drink, food item, picture, or shelf of Stephanie-inspired items. Worse, twice a year, we hold a series of ceremonies and remembrances for Stephanie. As Stephanie’s mate and as the future alpha heir, I am expected to attend every one of them. I want to be there. I know that I should be there. But… It is complete and utter torture. Every day without Stephanie is difficult, but Stephanie’s birthdays and death anniversaries always hit me the hardest. What I want to do more than anything on those two days is be by myself so that I can process my grief. There is a waterfall that I like to go to. If I could, I would spend all day there on both days. The waterfall isn’t exactly hidden, but to find it, you have to go pretty far within the woods and know where to go. As far as I know, I am the only one in our pack who ever goes there. Being at the waterfall brings me comfort; it always has. That is where I want to be when I am grieving or upset. Unfortunately, instead of spending time in the comfort of my waterfall, I have to spend the two hardest days each year out in public with almost 20,000 eyes watching my every move and every reaction. Instead of just… grieving… I have to be conscientious of how every display of emotion can impact and be perceived by the pack members. As I listen to pack members, Stephanie’s parents, and my own parents take turns telling stories about Stephanie and her good deeds, I am expected to somehow strike an impossible balance between sadness and strength. At each of the events, year after year, the remembrances are largely the same. At this point, I practically have the speeches memorized. The speeches usually include stories about how Stephanie would bake cookies and send her sister to deliver them to the guards working the late-night shift on the borders. And stories about how any time anyone was injured in training or at battle, she would not only have her sister deliver care baskets to patients at the hospital, but she would also put one together for any family members separated from them while they were recovering. My parents talk about how eager Stephanie was to take on her position as luna, and how dedicated she was to her training, even working on lessons for hours at home multiple times per week. Stephanie’s parents talk about their prior dreams for their daughter and the hole they continue to feel in their hearts. Nick talks about how family celebrations do not feel the same without Stephanie there, and Jenny talks about wishing that she still had a sister-in-law to bond with and engage in girl talk. The only blessing is that —as the grieving mate— no one expects me to say anything at these events. But that does not spare me from the staring and judgment. If I show too much sadness, pack members worry that I am weak and will not able to be the leader of the pack in the future. If I seem too stoic or show too much “strength,” pack members could perceive me being disrespectful towards Stephanie’s memory. They will also worry that my reign as alpha will lack balance and compassion…. which I already hear whispers about from time to time. Sometimes, I feel angry about the whole thing. I would never, ever expect anyone who has lost their mate to put themselves on a stage multiple times a year and be judged on whether their external grief is appropriate enough. And yet my parents have no problem doing it to me. I tried to push back once, but only once. As you can imagine, it did not go well. I started the conversation by telling my parents that I did not think it was healthy for me to be surrounded by constant reminders of Stephanie, and I told them that I thought the constant remembrances were counterproductive to my mental health. I suggested that we scale back the events, or make them more private affairs. My father got angry and accused me of being selfish. He told me that being uncomfortable and coping with the pressure of judgmental pack members is part of being an alpha. Meanwhile, my mother reminded me that the ceremonies had been Stephanie’s parents’ idea, and she asked me if I wanted to be the one to tell them it was no longer important to celebrate Stephanie’s life. No, of course I did not want to tell Stephanie's parents that. No, I did not want to be selfish. I just wanted --and still want-- to not feel so sad all the time. Six years in, and the only reprieve I ever get from my grief is when the Little Brat is around. She has made herself scarce the last few years, but when she is around, my wolf and I can sense her from a mile away. My wolf and I fight about her all the time --for some reason, Luke seems to have a soft spot for the Little Brat-- but we can agree that it is nice having her around. For me, it's because I have a worthy target for my anger and rage. Chapter 8: Daddy's Girl (Lily POV) The drive to the pack house was eerily silent. After my father and I arrived at the pack house, my father quickly exited the vehicle and headed to his office, leaving me on my own. I timidly and cautiously got into the beta suite, but I was relieved to find that my mother was already in bed. I decided to go directly to my room and try to sleep as well. Unfortunately, I ended up tossing and turning all night. The look on my father's face when talking to the guards continued to haunt me. When I did sleep, I had nightmares. Strangely, Rose seemed restless too, but other than briefly wishing me a happy birthday after it hit midnight, she did not say anything. I think the main thing that provoked my nightmares and kept me up was that my heart ached for my father. I knew that I wanted to help him with his pain and ease his suffering, but I was not sure what I could do or say to make things better. It has already been six years. If time has not helped heal his heart, what could I do? The truth is, I am not Stephanie and I never will be. The only thing I have ever known how to do for my father is to try to stay out of his way. At least for my mother, I can serve as a literal punching bag to help her relieve her grief. And for others in the pack, I can serve as both a literal and metaphorical punching bag. But, I am nothing to my father: my father has neglected me and ignored the sufferings I went through, but he has never directly participated in any of them. Perhaps that is one reason his pain upsets me more than the pain of everyone else. He is the least awful amongst my current tormentors, and I can sometimes lie to myself that he does not know or agree with how much I have suffered. I know that it probably seems strange that my heart aches for him at all, given that he is someone who, for the most part, could care less about me. However, please understand that for my own sanity, I have chosen to remember and hold on to the good times in my childhood. Of course, there is also the fact that... regardless of how my father currently feels about me... I have always been --and will probably always be-- a daddy's girl. It is just part of who I am. Since I was in diapers, I have looked up to my father and considered him to be my superhero. Before Stephanie died, I never saw an ounce of weakness in him. He was my strength and my rock. I always had an strong desire to make him proud of me. He was always the first one I ran to when I got a good grade on a test, or when I drew a picture I thought he might like. And ...before Stephanie died... he was always the first one to dry my tears when I got hurt or to give me reassuring praise when I felt down. Even though I knew Stephanie was his favorite... even though I knew Stephanie's accomplishments would always be greater, and that he would always be more proud of her... those little things mattered to me. I lived for those moments. Sigh. By 5:30 am, I gave up on any hope of further sleep. Stephanie's first remembrance event was not scheduled until 11 am, so I knew I had a little bit of time. Eager to take advantage of that time and also avoid my mother, I took a quick shower, packed a small backpack, and headed out of the house. Predictably, my feet led me to the waterfall that I had shifted in front of six years ago. I have come here at least twice a year since Stephanie died, usually on her birthday and death anniversary. The waterfall brings me an odd sense of peace. As beautiful as it is, I do not know anyone else who comes here. Perhaps that is why I like it so much. I sighed. "It is easy to tell myself that when I am away from the pack and not having to cope with the consequences. It is a lot harder to believe that I am blameless when everyone around me is crying and upset all the time. You saw my dad last night. That nearly broke me. He is still hurting so much." "That does not make any of it your fault," Rose protests. "Rose, the day before Stephanie died, I prayed that the Moon Goddess stop Stephanie from continuing to hurt me." "She was not hurting you, Lily. She was torturing you. There is nothing wrong with you praying that it stop." "There is if it cost Stephanie her life." "Lily, you are not giving the Moon Goddess enough credit. You are smarter and stronger than this. You need to stop with the emotional vomit and ---" Suddenly Rose stops talking through the link. She is pacing back in forth in my head. I have no idea what is going on, until the overwhelming scent of vanilla and coffee beans hits my nose. "Mate! Lily, our mate is here! Mate, mate, mate, mate, mate!!!" I stand, dust the ashes off of my jeans, and turn around. My heart drops when I recognize the werewolf standing about 200 feet away from me. This has to be a joke. This cannot be happening.	LEARN_MORE	https://getokn.com/market/goodnovel/1?lpid=10745&u	Massive story	https://www.facebook.com/61560932294131/	0	1969-12-31 18:00	Learn More	getokn.com	DCO		https://getokn.com/market/goodnovel/1?lpid=10745&utm_campaign={{campaign.name}}&utm_content={{campaign.id}}&adset_name={{adset.name}}&adset_id={{adset.id}}&ad_id={{ad.id}}&ad_name={{ad.name}}	1969-12-31 18:00	https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.35426-6/448916543_502070082268628_4383741934976369995_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s60x60_tt6&_nc_cat=108&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=c53f8f&_nc_ohc=s9H_nfuS-gEQ7kNvgHuZX8i&_nc_zt=14&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-1.xx&_nc_gid=A53oq0VlggduTf3dGfiA62F&oh=00_AYAmdpN4AnaAy16j5etKTQQ3ZgN4qfCMGygA3LAWhcXKIA&oe=676165D0	PERSON_PROFILE	Massive story	1969-12-31 18:00	View Edit Delete
2,644,980	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) '{"alias":2644944}'	Yes	2024-12-12 18:30	active	1996	🔞🔥 Continuer la lecture ➤➤	(Lily POV) Today is my 14th birthday. There will not be birthday cake, singing, or a party. Instead, we are attending a funeral. My sister's funeral, to be exact. Before my sister... died... we had a large party planned for me. I normally do not have a big party, but 14th birthdays are a really big event to werewolves. They are the day that we first meet our wolves. The next monumental birthday is our 20th birthday; that is when can first identify our fated mates. I am our Beta’s youngest daughter, and my father is loved and well-respected. Everyone was excited to meet my wolf and to see what type of wolf she would be. Thus, the guest list for my party was pretty large, and it included ranked wolves from nearby packs. I am normally a little bit of a loner, hence why I usually do not have a big birthday party. However, for this particular occasion, I was happy to have a lot of guests. Meeting your wolf comes with the first shift/ transition, and that can be incredibly painful. As inherently social creatures, the only thing known to help wolves with the pain of the first shift is to have supportive family, friends, and community around you. The way that it typically works is that the pack will host a dinner or barbeque in your honor. As night falls, and the moon replaces the sun in the sky, everyone will gather inside the pack amphitheater. The shifter-to-be will stand in the middle of the amphitheater while guests quietly chant well wishes and prayers to the Moon Goddess. The energy in the space can be electrifying for everyone present, no matter whether there are 25 attendees or 500. Once the first shift is completed, the new wolf will prance around the stage and strut their stuff. The crowd will “ooh” and “aah” until the pack alpha approaches, learns the new wolf’s name, and introduces the wolf to the crowd. The new wolf will also swear his or her allegiance to the pack and to the alpha, allowing the wolf to mind-link with other pack wolves. Finally, the new wolf and any guests old enough to shift will go for a pack run. The whole process is incredibly special and exciting. As you might imagine, décor is also an important part of the party planning process. Each shifter gets to decide the decorations and party theme that will be used for their party. If more than one wolf turns 14 on the same day, the wolves can either agree on a theme or split the party into parts that they can individually decorate. The pack luna will then work some sort of magic that somehow blends the individual areas into one cohesive theme in the center. My birthday is in October, and despite how large our pack is, I am the only one born on that day. I love having an October birthday because my favorite season is fall. For my décor, I had picked flowers and decorations in rich fall colors, including deep oranges, reds, and greens. Unfortunately, none of my party decorations will be used. Or rather, none of my decorations will be used for me. As I mentioned, we are holding a funeral today instead. My oldest sister, Stephanie, died this morning. Pack and religious tradition dictates that we must hold funerals within 24 hours of death. Because Stephanie died shortly after midnight, her funeral must be held today. All food and décor set aside for my birthday party was therefore immediately diverted for the funeral; thankfully my fall themed colors were sufficiently somber-ish to work. All decorations that seemed relatively “happy”, celebratory, or that mention me have been removed. Pictures of Stephanie have now been placed on tables and podiums, and the music I selected has been swapped out for songs about loss or Stephanie’s favorites. The loss of Stephanie is a really hurting. Not only was she my sister and my parents’ oldest and favorite child, she was also widely anticipated to be the mate of Alpha Randall’s son, James, which meant she was most likely the future luna of our pack. Stephanie would have turned 20 in three months, and she and James would have been able to confirm that they were mates then. The pack was so sure that they were mates —and Alpha Randall was so eager to turn the pack over to James and his mate, once she was identified and ready to take on the luna position— that they deviated from standard protocols and decided to begin Stephanie’s Luna training just after she turned 18. If I am being completely honest, something never sat right with me about Stephanie starting Luna training. Part of it is what Stephanie's Luna training meant for me, but that is a separate conversation. The biggest thing was that I did not understand why luna training could not wait until Stephanie turned 20 and could confirm who her mate was. Lunas for generations have waited for their training; why couldn't Stephanie? It also bothered me quite a bit to watch Stephanie hang all over James at pack functions. Our pack frowned upon dating and public displays of affection prior to finding your mate; it created too much risk for problems, anger, and jealousy once your mate was located. For whatever reason, an exception was made for Stephanie. But then again, exceptions always were made for her. Stephanie was strong and absolutely beautiful, and the pack knew her as being kind, smart, and energetic. She could do no wrong in the eyes of my parents, the alpha, or the pack. I hope I do not sound too jealous or bitter. I loved my sister, and her death is hitting me really hard. It’s just that…. I knew a different side of my sister than everyone else, and I know more than anyone that my sister was far from perfect. Had I spoken up before she died, I would have been accused of jealousy and lying. And were I to speak up now, well… I would be accused of jealousy, lying, AND improperly speaking ill of the dead. It is easier to just let it go. Along with my birthday. It isn't that important anyway. I do not want to be selfish or self-centered. The only immediate problem with letting go is that --bad timing or not-- I am going to shift for the first time tonight. There is nothing I can do to stop or postpone it, as much as I would like to do so. I am worried about how it is going to go. Hopefully, during the reception, my mother or father or brother or someone will be willing to step aside with me for a 20-30 minutes just to get me through it. We could then return and act like everything is normal. Or as normal as it can be with Stephanie now gone. Sadly, I should have known that nothing in life is that easy. Chapter 2: The Little Brat (James POV) I watch sadly as the casket is carried from the temple to the burial grounds. It is a cold October day, and the gray sky and drizzly weather adds to the overall somber atmosphere. I cannot help but be impressed at how quickly the pack was able to pull everything together for Stephanie's funeral. All funerals happen quickly in our world, but because of how fast the funerals must take place, the décor and guest list is usually somewhat lacking. It is a testament to how much Stephanie was loved that they were able to put together so many beautiful floral arrangements in her honor, and that so many people were able to be here to honor her life, including many wolves from other packs. If it wasn't for it being such a horrible occasion, I would actually describe the color scheme as beautiful. Then again, fall has always been one of my favorite seasons. I am vaguely aware that we had some other function on the calendar today, but I honestly cannot think of what it was. With a large pack —the West Mountain Pack has over 10,000 members— we have a lot of functions. As the future alpha, I am expected to attend as many of them as I possibly can, but no one expects me to remember what they all are… even if I try to pretend in the moment. Unless reminded by an Omega or my amazing girlfriend, I can't even seem to remember my own mother and father's birthdays most of the time. My amazing girlfriend. I sigh, wiping a tear from my eye. She will never again be around to remind me about birthdays. Sadly, there will be no pretending that I know what today's ceremony is about. Stephanie Brogan was the love of my life, and she was my future mate and luna. I still cannot believe that she is gone. We never even got to fully experience the mate bond, including the sparks betwwen us. Had she lived just three months longer, our wolves would have confirmed one another as mates and Stephanie would have been able to formally claim her proper place in my bed and in my life. Instead of welcoming her body into my bed, I am saying good-bye to her today. I am also saying good-bye to all of our future plans and dreams together. I cannot help but feel anger and resentment about that. This is not how things were supposed to be. As I watch the funeral procession go by --my father, mother, and I, along with the beta family, must stand at the entrance as guests move from the temple to the burial grounds-- I catch a glimpse of Stephanie’s younger sister, Lily. She is standing next to her mother. She looks both sad and innocent, which causes the anger in my body to rise even more. That little brat is the reason that Stephanie is dead. *FLASHBACK TO LAST NIGHT* Stephanie and I are cuddled on the couch in the packhouse living room watching a movie. I have my hand on her arm and I am about to kiss her when she gets distracted by a text message. Stephanie did not let me see the message, which annoys me, but she quickly explains that Lily is lost in the forest after having snuck out to meet a boy. Stephanie’s sister is 13 or 14 years old. She has all the teenage acne and attitude that comes along with being that young. Unlike Stephanie —who has beautiful blond hair and hazel eyes— Lily has reddish brown hair and bright green eyes. Or at least I think they are bright green; she usually has them covered up with large black glasses. Stephanie gets up and tells me that Lily has texted her, begging her to come and find her. I am annoyed by the interruption, but I offer to go with Stephanie to get the little brat. Stephanie says Lily will be upset if anyone else knows about her little escapade. Stephanie reassures me that she will be fine, and then gives me a quick peck. My wolf and I have a bad feeling when Stephanie leaves, but Stephanie has us wrapped around her little finger. It is almost impossible for my wolf and I to disagree with her about anything. We pause the movie and decide to get some work done in my dad's office while we wait for Stephanie to get back. I am a night owl anyway, so I do not mind waiting. Unfortunately, about an hour after Stephanie leaves, I get an urgent mind-link from our pack warriors. They report that the Little Brat had been spotted running out of the woods screaming for help. Before they can say much more, I shift into my wolf form and take off running. I follow Stephanie’s scent far into the woods…. until I come to a small clearing, which is covered in Stephanie’s blood. Her bloody clothes are tossed around, and chunks of her hair are thrown about as well. It is the worst, most savage site that I have ever seen. The smell of rogues is all over, so it is fairly obvious what has happened. The a---holes didn’t even bother to leave her body. *END OF FLASHBACK* Tears threaten to continue to fall as I think back to the scene last night. I have not slept or eaten since I found what was left of Stephanie, and I am having trouble holding my emotions together. Now that my eyes have spotted Lily, my anger with her becomes a welcome distraction. I have a very hard time looking away from her. The truth is that I have always found myself strangely curious about her, but today… today all I want to do is take my anger out on someone, and she seems as good a target as anyone else. Her teenage behavior cost me my mate! And it cost this pack its future luna! My wolf, Luke, begs me to calm down. It is an interesting thing, having the wolf side try to calm the human side. As upset and angry and emotional as I am, it is tempting to ignore him and immediately start teach that Little Brat a lesson. However, I decide to follow Luke's advice after he reminds me that Stephanie deserves to have her funeral be all about her and not some whiny teenage brat. That does not mean that I am going to let Lily get away with what she has done, but I wait until a more appropriate time to take my revenge. I turn my focus back to Stephanie’s casket, which we filled with her bloody clothes, hair, and anything that could be found at the site that had her blood on it. The casket has been brought to the center of the amphitheater. The alpha and beta families take their seats in the front row, and my father and the pack priest move beside the casket to begin the ceremony. The ceremony involves a lot of prayers, rituals, and speakers. The average ceremony takes 2-3 hours, and Stephanie's will most likely take closer to 4-5 hours given her status in the pack and how beloved she was. During the ceremony, I keep trying to distract myself by looking around as others around me. I do not want to be seen as weak by curling into the fetal position and wailing like a baby, even though that is the only thing I want to do right now. My heart breaks as I glance at Stephanie’s parents next to me in the front row, holding on to one another as they cry. Seeing Stephanie’s father —a strong, powerful Beta wolf— break down is a sight I have very rarely seen. The pain in his eyes is heart-wrenching. I also notice Stephanie's brother, Nick, as he clings to his mate, Jenny. Both of them are crying as well. Nick is my best friend, and I have known him since we were tiny pups, but I have literally never seen him cry. I notice that there are no dry eyes anywhere. Even my father has a few stray tears running down his cheeks, although I am sure he would punch anyone who pointed it out. He is a proud man, just like me. As the sky continues to darken, I notice the Little Brat starting to act like she is uncomfortable in her seat. I can tell that Stephanie's mother is getting agitated, and rightly so. For once, can the Little Brat not think about something other than herself? Seriously. It is one ceremony. Just one. For an older sister who died trying to help her. How dare the Little Brat not hold herself together? The next thing I know, the moon is high in the sky and the final rites are being spoken by the priest. As exactly that moment, the Little Brat whispers something in her mother’s ear. Her mother turns and glares at her, causing the Little Brat to put her head down. I then watch as the Little Brat stands up and walks away. She looks like she is in pain, and I hope that she is. How dare she walk away from her sister’s funeral! Especially in the middle of the last rites! I am tempted to follow her and give her a piece of my mind, but Stephanie means more to me than that. I remind myself once again that I will get my revenge on Lily aka the Little Brat soon enough. For tonight, I must remain focused on the love of my life. Chapter 3: Lily Meets Rose “Y-yes.” “Good. Now open your eyes.” I opened my eyes and immediately noticed that I was not human anymore. My feet and hands were paws. I then looked into the water that pooled at the edge of the waterfall, and I saw my reflection… or rather the reflection of Rose. My heart stopped. There are many different types of wolves —alpha wolves; beta wolves; gamma wolves; warrior wolves; silver wolves; white wolves; red wolves; omega wolves. And even within those categories, there are varying sizes and colors and markings. We learn about the types of wolves in school. “Expect the unexpected” was a phrase that was often said about the first transition, but in reality your wolf generally follows your lineage: the children of alpha wolves will generally be alpha wolves; the children of beta wolves will generally be beta wolves; and so on. Typically, the big excitement —especially with children of ranked wolves— centers on the size, color, and personality of the new wolf. Looking back at me in the reflection of the pool was a type of wolf I had never seen or learned about in school. Rose’s fur was a beautiful bluish-silver color that almost glowed. On the right side of her rump was a large black crescent moon symbol, and the black coloring of that symbol matched her solid black paws and black tail. In addition, I noticed that Rose was huge. Although it was tough to tell, it appeared to me that Rose was at least as large as some alpha wolves. “What type of wolf are we, Rose?” “A special type. You will learn more as time goes on, but know that the Moon Goddess has blessed you and I, Lily.” I did not say anything; I was not sure what to say. Rose and I sat by the waterfall for a while longer, until I remembered Stephanie’s funeral. “We need to get back!” I told Rose in a panic. Rose guided me through how to transform back to our human form, and I frantically searched the nearby trees for clothes. I found a men’s t-shirt and shorts. Both were far too big for my small frame, so I opted to just put the t-shirt on. I also grabbed my eye-glasses off the ground and put them on; thankfully they did not break during the transition. Now that I had Rose, I would not need the glasses anymore because she would heal my eyes. However, Rose warned me that —for now— it was best that I continue to wear the glasses and let the pack believe that I did not yet have my wolf. I thought it was a curious thing for her to say, but I had no reason to not trust her. I hurried back to the packhouse and got into the beta suite, hoping to quickly change clothes and re-join the mourning crowd. Unfortunately, once I got in the suite, I was met with the angry, accusing eyes of my mother. “WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? HOW DARE YOU MAKE A SCENE AT YOUR SISTER’S FUNERAL! HAVE YOU NO SHAME? ARE YOU SO SELFISH AND SELF-CENTERED THAT YOU CAN THINK OF NO ONE BUT YOURSELF?” I said nothing. What could I say? My mother then did something that, in my 14 years, she had never done before. She slapped me. Hard. And the beating continued from there. Chapter 4: Living in the Shadows (6 years later) (Lily POV) Six years have now passed since that fateful day that Stephanie died. I wish that I could say that life has moved on, and that we have found good in the bad... but for the most part, it isn't true. Stephanie is just as much a part of this pack today as she was before she died. And the grief felt in the pack is just as raw and angry as it was that first day. If anything has changed, it is that --instead of Stephanie being out in the center of things-- she lives on almost like a shadow over everything. She now has a couple of streets named after her --Stephanie Lane and Steffie Avenue (her nickname was "Steffie"); and you can quite literally find some of her favorite outfits on display in glass cases at various places throughout the pack. Even more bizarre, the day she died was turned into a pack holiday, as was her birthday. Everyone but pack omegas have both days off from work, school, and training, and there are somber celebrations and remembrances planned to commemorate each occasion. I once made the mistake of asking my parents whether this was a normal reaction to the death of a single she-wolf. We can love and miss her, but to continue to hold large ceremonies every year? And to treat her as a saint and forget that she had a human side too? That seemed a bit too much to me. As far as I know, the pack has never done this for any other luna or future luna, and it only honors 2-3 historical alphas in such a manner. I was rewarded for my questions by being called jealous and hateful. (I also received a significant beating, but beatings had become commonplace from my mother, so I cannot say that my question necessarily triggered the beating I received that day. Plus, the beating hurt far less than what I received before Stephanie died. But for the slight pain and who did the beating, I almost would not have minded.) Overall, I think the worst part of losing Stephanie six years ago wasn't losing Stephanie... it was how losing Stephanie impacted my relationship with my parents and other pack members. Before Stephanie died, I was well aware that Stephanie was my parents' favorite. My older brother Nick and I would even joke about it from time to time. But even though Stephanie was their favorite, they still treated me really well and loved me. They never would have raised a hand to me before Stephanie died. After Stephanie died, however, my parents could barely look at me. And when they did, I saw the unmistakable wish in their eyes that it had been me, not Stephanie, that died that fateful night. In addition, my parents stopped caring about my well-being generally. I lived in their house until I was 17, but I was responsible for my own meals and necessities. I was forced to take on a part-time job at a nearby diner just to ensure I had clothes and food to eat. (I technically could have eaten the food that was available in the packhouse, but the dirty looks and mean comments made by my parents, James, and other pack members were enough to make that an unrealistic option.) Also, in case you are wondering, I have not celebrated a birthday since Stephanie died. Not one single soul other than Rose has bothered to tell me happy birthday. No one even bothered to ask me whether I had received my wolf. That wasn't because birthdays stopped being important; it was just mine whose meaning changed. I attended plenty of birthday parties, and the pack hosted plenty of 14th birthday celebrations. In fact, I think it was because of one of those birthday celebrations that someone finally questioned whether I had received a wolf. It was a legitimate question, given that I was over 14 and never joined a pack run. Rose encouraged me early on to skip them "for safety reasons," and I was all too happy to do so. Had anyone bothered to ask me directly about my wolf or about why I was skipping the pack runs, I would have been honest... but no one ever did. Instead, a rumor spread that I was wolfless. Pack members speculated that I lost my wolf as a result of post-traumatic stress from losing Stephanie and/or guilt for what I had done to Stephanie. That latter theory was the one that really got under my skin, because I knew that was a theory and rumor spread by James. Shortly after Stephanie's funeral, he told my parents and most of the pack that Stephanie was only in the forest that night to save me. He also said I had gone out to meet a boy. I have no idea why he would say such things; I have never had a boyfriend and Stephanie was the one who asked me to meet her in the forest. This rumor was the main reason that I received a beating from my mother the night of my first shift. And it probably adds to the reason that pack members wish me dead. Notably, though, I have never dared to defend myself. To tell the truth would be the equivalent of talking negatively of both Stephanie and our future alpha.... and would likely lead to a death sentence. So instead, I have always just pushed through. One of the ways that I have survived is to hold on to the faith that one day things will be different. Another thing that I have done is take every last opportunity to leave the pack. For example, I hurried through high school so that I could graduate early, and I then went away to college. To avoid coming home, I have been loading up on credit hours and taking every term of school -including the mini winter sessions-- that I can get. I am also taking advantage of a unique expedited program offered just for werewolves doctors. Given all of these things, I actually expect that I can become a fully licensed werewolf doctor in just a couple more years. Until I become fully licensed and independent, I will have to continue to bear the shadow of my sister and the pain that comes with it. I am required to be present for both of her holidays --all pack members are; there are no exceptions-- but thankfully those are among the very few times that I can reliably be found at the Western Mountain pack these days. My ultimate goal is to meet my mate and become a pack doctor in his pack... which I pray to the Moon Goddess is not the Western Mountain pack. If, Goddess forbid, my mate is in this pack, perhaps I can convince him to transfer packs with me. Goddess willing. Tomorrow is my birthday. I guess we will find out then. Chapter 5: Without His Luna (James POV) Tomorrow will mark six years since Stephanie died. Everything and nothing has changed. I still think of Stephanie every single day. Her beautiful smile. Her laugh. The kindness that she showed to pack members. The ethusiam that she showed for her luna training. Stephanie would have been an amazing and strong luna. Had Stephanie lived, we would have been happily married by now. We would probably have already had at least two adorable pups, who would have been doted on by two loving sets of grandparents. Together, Stephanie and I would have been leading the West Mountain Pack to new heights. Of course, Stephanie is no longer here. And without Stephanie… Well, without Stephanie, I am only a fraction of the man that I used to be, and only a fraction of the wolf. Without Stephanie, I am not even Alpha yet. In our world, most alpha heirs take over from their fathers between 25 and 30 years old. That timing ensures that most alphas will have already found their mates before they take over the running of a pack. Running a pack is not easy to do by yourself. Even with a strong beta and a strong gamma, a luna’s importance to a pack cannot be underestimated. A luna brings heart and balance to a pack and to the alpha himself. She is the alpha’s equal, and she is one of the few werewolves in the pack who can get away with challenging and questioning an alpha’s decisions. If she exercises her role properly and judiciously, a luna’s presence can lead to better overall outcomes, decisions, and governing. This is especially true if the luna is the alpha’s fated mate, because it means she takes on her role with the blessing of the Moon Goddess. Alpha heirs who take over their packs prior to turning 25 typically do so either out of necessity, or because they have been fortunate to have been mated very early to a strong luna. Six years ago, when Stephanie was still alive, my father thought we were going to be part of the lucky latter category. He had been very eager to take an early retirement. He and my mother had fantasized about all the European trips and Caribbean cruises that they would take after I was sworn in as alpha, and they had already had tentative plans for at least one of those trips. Of course, all of those plans were ultimately scrapped. Today, I am old enough to take over as alpha, even without a luna by my side… but my father is concerned that I am not mentally strong enough to do so yet. He sees me as broken. My father is probably right. It is a little hard not to feel broken. The reminders of Stephanie are everywhere. Even after six long years, I feel like I cannot escape from the reminders or from my grief, and it is suffocating. The packhouse has practically turned into a mini museum to her, and almost all of the local businesses have some sort of small dedication, whether it be a dedicated drink, food item, picture, or shelf of Stephanie-inspired items. Worse, twice a year, we hold a series of ceremonies and remembrances for Stephanie. As Stephanie’s mate and as the future alpha heir, I am expected to attend every one of them. I want to be there. I know that I should be there. But… It is complete and utter torture. Every day without Stephanie is difficult, but Stephanie’s birthdays and death anniversaries always hit me the hardest. What I want to do more than anything on those two days is be by myself so that I can process my grief. There is a waterfall that I like to go to. If I could, I would spend all day there on both days. The waterfall isn’t exactly hidden, but to find it, you have to go pretty far within the woods and know where to go. As far as I know, I am the only one in our pack who ever goes there. Being at the waterfall brings me comfort; it always has. That is where I want to be when I am grieving or upset. Unfortunately, instead of spending time in the comfort of my waterfall, I have to spend the two hardest days each year out in public with almost 20,000 eyes watching my every move and every reaction. Instead of just… grieving… I have to be conscientious of how every display of emotion can impact and be perceived by the pack members. As I listen to pack members, Stephanie’s parents, and my own parents take turns telling stories about Stephanie and her good deeds, I am expected to somehow strike an impossible balance between sadness and strength. At each of the events, year after year, the remembrances are largely the same. At this point, I practically have the speeches memorized. The speeches usually include stories about how Stephanie would bake cookies and send her sister to deliver them to the guards working the late-night shift on the borders. And stories about how any time anyone was injured in training or at battle, she would not only have her sister deliver care baskets to patients at the hospital, but she would also put one together for any family members separated from them while they were recovering. My parents talk about how eager Stephanie was to take on her position as luna, and how dedicated she was to her training, even working on lessons for hours at home multiple times per week. Stephanie’s parents talk about their prior dreams for their daughter and the hole they continue to feel in their hearts. Nick talks about how family celebrations do not feel the same without Stephanie there, and Jenny talks about wishing that she still had a sister-in-law to bond with and engage in girl talk. The only blessing is that —as the grieving mate— no one expects me to say anything at these events. But that does not spare me from the staring and judgment. If I show too much sadness, pack members worry that I am weak and will not able to be the leader of the pack in the future. If I seem too stoic or show too much “strength,” pack members could perceive me being disrespectful towards Stephanie’s memory. They will also worry that my reign as alpha will lack balance and compassion…. which I already hear whispers about from time to time. Sometimes, I feel angry about the whole thing. I would never, ever expect anyone who has lost their mate to put themselves on a stage multiple times a year and be judged on whether their external grief is appropriate enough. And yet my parents have no problem doing it to me. I tried to push back once, but only once. As you can imagine, it did not go well. I started the conversation by telling my parents that I did not think it was healthy for me to be surrounded by constant reminders of Stephanie, and I told them that I thought the constant remembrances were counterproductive to my mental health. I suggested that we scale back the events, or make them more private affairs. My father got angry and accused me of being selfish. He told me that being uncomfortable and coping with the pressure of judgmental pack members is part of being an alpha. Meanwhile, my mother reminded me that the ceremonies had been Stephanie’s parents’ idea, and she asked me if I wanted to be the one to tell them it was no longer important to celebrate Stephanie’s life. No, of course I did not want to tell Stephanie's parents that. No, I did not want to be selfish. I just wanted --and still want-- to not feel so sad all the time. Six years in, and the only reprieve I ever get from my grief is when the Little Brat is around. She has made herself scarce the last few years, but when she is around, my wolf and I can sense her from a mile away. My wolf and I fight about her all the time --for some reason, Luke seems to have a soft spot for the Little Brat-- but we can agree that it is nice having her around. For me, it's because I have a worthy target for my anger and rage. Chapter 8: Daddy's Girl (Lily POV) The drive to the pack house was eerily silent. After my father and I arrived at the pack house, my father quickly exited the vehicle and headed to his office, leaving me on my own. I timidly and cautiously got into the beta suite, but I was relieved to find that my mother was already in bed. I decided to go directly to my room and try to sleep as well. Unfortunately, I ended up tossing and turning all night. The look on my father's face when talking to the guards continued to haunt me. When I did sleep, I had nightmares. Strangely, Rose seemed restless too, but other than briefly wishing me a happy birthday after it hit midnight, she did not say anything. I think the main thing that provoked my nightmares and kept me up was that my heart ached for my father. I knew that I wanted to help him with his pain and ease his suffering, but I was not sure what I could do or say to make things better. It has already been six years. If time has not helped heal his heart, what could I do? The truth is, I am not Stephanie and I never will be. The only thing I have ever known how to do for my father is to try to stay out of his way. At least for my mother, I can serve as a literal punching bag to help her relieve her grief. And for others in the pack, I can serve as both a literal and metaphorical punching bag. But, I am nothing to my father: my father has neglected me and ignored the sufferings I went through, but he has never directly participated in any of them. Perhaps that is one reason his pain upsets me more than the pain of everyone else. He is the least awful amongst my current tormentors, and I can sometimes lie to myself that he does not know or agree with how much I have suffered. I know that it probably seems strange that my heart aches for him at all, given that he is someone who, for the most part, could care less about me. However, please understand that for my own sanity, I have chosen to remember and hold on to the good times in my childhood. Of course, there is also the fact that... regardless of how my father currently feels about me... I have always been --and will probably always be-- a daddy's girl. It is just part of who I am. Since I was in diapers, I have looked up to my father and considered him to be my superhero. Before Stephanie died, I never saw an ounce of weakness in him. He was my strength and my rock. I always had an strong desire to make him proud of me. He was always the first one I ran to when I got a good grade on a test, or when I drew a picture I thought he might like. And ...before Stephanie died... he was always the first one to dry my tears when I got hurt or to give me reassuring praise when I felt down. Even though I knew Stephanie was his favorite... even though I knew Stephanie's accomplishments would always be greater, and that he would always be more proud of her... those little things mattered to me. I lived for those moments. Sigh. By 5:30 am, I gave up on any hope of further sleep. Stephanie's first remembrance event was not scheduled until 11 am, so I knew I had a little bit of time. Eager to take advantage of that time and also avoid my mother, I took a quick shower, packed a small backpack, and headed out of the house. Predictably, my feet led me to the waterfall that I had shifted in front of six years ago. I have come here at least twice a year since Stephanie died, usually on her birthday and death anniversary. The waterfall brings me an odd sense of peace. As beautiful as it is, I do not know anyone else who comes here. Perhaps that is why I like it so much. I sighed. "It is easy to tell myself that when I am away from the pack and not having to cope with the consequences. It is a lot harder to believe that I am blameless when everyone around me is crying and upset all the time. You saw my dad last night. That nearly broke me. He is still hurting so much." "That does not make any of it your fault," Rose protests. "Rose, the day before Stephanie died, I prayed that the Moon Goddess stop Stephanie from continuing to hurt me." "She was not hurting you, Lily. She was torturing you. There is nothing wrong with you praying that it stop." "There is if it cost Stephanie her life." "Lily, you are not giving the Moon Goddess enough credit. You are smarter and stronger than this. You need to stop with the emotional vomit and ---" Suddenly Rose stops talking through the link. She is pacing back in forth in my head. I have no idea what is going on, until the overwhelming scent of vanilla and coffee beans hits my nose. "Mate! Lily, our mate is here! Mate, mate, mate, mate, mate!!!" I stand, dust the ashes off of my jeans, and turn around. My heart drops when I recognize the werewolf standing about 200 feet away from me. This has to be a joke. This cannot be happening.	LEARN_MORE	https://getokn.com/market/goodnovel/1?lpid=10745&u	Massive story	https://www.facebook.com/61560932294131/	0	1969-12-31 18:00	Learn More	getokn.com	DCO		https://getokn.com/market/goodnovel/1?lpid=10745&utm_campaign={{campaign.name}}&utm_content={{campaign.id}}&adset_name={{adset.name}}&adset_id={{adset.id}}&ad_id={{ad.id}}&ad_name={{ad.name}}	1969-12-31 18:00	https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.35426-6/448916543_502070082268628_4383741934976369995_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s60x60_tt6&_nc_cat=108&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=c53f8f&_nc_ohc=s9H_nfuS-gEQ7kNvgHuZX8i&_nc_zt=14&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-1.xx&_nc_gid=A53oq0VlggduTf3dGfiA62F&oh=00_AYAmdpN4AnaAy16j5etKTQQ3ZgN4qfCMGygA3LAWhcXKIA&oe=676165D0	PERSON_PROFILE	Massive story	1969-12-31 18:00	View Edit Delete
2,644,985	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) '{"alias":2644982}'	No	2024-12-12 18:30	active	1996	ここをクリックして無料でお読みください！	「いつ彼女と離婚するの？」個室の中で、女の子は愛情に満ちた瞳で目の前の男性を見つめていた。小松里香は個室の外に立っていて、手足が冷えている。その女の子と同じく、小松里香は男の美しく厳しい顔を見つめ、顔色は青ざめている。男は彼女の夫、二宮雅之である。口がきけない雅之は、このクラブでウェイターとして働いている。里香は今日仕事を終えて一緒に帰るために早めにやって来たが、こんな場面に遭遇するとは予想していなかった。男は薄い唇を軽く開き、低くて心地よい声を発した。「できるだけ早く彼女に話すよ」里香は目を閉じ、背を向けた。話せるんだ。しかもこんな素敵な声だったなんて。それにしても、やっと聞けた彼の最初の言葉が離婚だったなんて、予想外でした。人違いだったのかと里香は少し茫然自失していた。あの上品でクールな男性が、雅之だなんて、あり得ない。雅之が離婚を切り出すはずがない。クラブを出たとき、外は雨が降っていた。すぐに濡れてしまい、里香は携帯を取り出し、夫の番号にダイヤルしてみた。個室の窓まで歩いて行き、雨でかすんだ視野を通して中を覗いた。雅之は眉を寄せながら携帯を手に取り、無表情で通話を切ってから、メッセージを打ち始めた。メッセージがすぐに届いた。「どうして電話をかけてきたの？僕が話さないこと、忘れてたの？」里香はメッセージを見つめ、まるでナイフで刺されたかのように心臓が痛くなってきた。なぜ嘘をつく？いつ喋れるようになったのか？あの女の子とは、いつ知り合ったんだろう？いつ離婚することを決めたんだろう？胸に湧い上がる無数の疑問を今すぐぶちまけたいと思ったが、彼の冷たい表情に怖じけづいて、できなった。 1年前、記憶喪失で口がきけない雅之を家に連れて帰った時、彼は自分の名前の書き方だけを覚えていて、他のすべてを忘れていた。そんな雅之に読み書きから手話まで一から教え、さらに人を愛することさえ学ばせたのは小松里香だった。その後、二人は結婚した。習慣が身につくには21日かかると言われているが、1年間一緒にいると、雅之という男の存在にも、自分への優しい笑顔にもすっかり慣れてきた。だからこれはきっと嘘に違いない、雅之は離婚を切り出すはずがないと信じていた。雨に濡れて家に帰ると、里香はお風呂に入り、雅之のために料理を用意して、食卓で静かに待っていた。時計が夜の10時を指したとき、ドアが開き、寒気をまとった雅之が家に入ってきた。雅之はすでにウェイターの制服に着替えていた。理由もなく心が痛くなった。日中に見た男の姿が幻なのかどうかわからなかった。「里香、どうしたの？」顔が青ざめ、ぼんやりとした表情の妻を見た雅之は、心配そうに手話で尋ねた。彼の端正な顔立ちには不安がにじみ、暗い瞳には焦りが宿っていたが、里香の頭の中に浮かんでいたのは、冷たい目でメッセージを打ち込みながら、別の女性と楽しそうに会話している夫の姿だった。なんて皮肉なものだ。「香水の匂いがするよ、他の女性の」里香は彼に触れられるのを避けながら言葉を発した。雅之の顔色が一変し、手話で答えた。「今日、個室で接客した際、お客様の香水の匂いがついたかもしれない。すぐにシャワーを浴びてくるね。」雅之が立ち上がってトイレに行くと、すぐに水の流れる音が聞こえてきた。緊張しながら説明する様子は、嘘くさく見えなかった。里香は立ち上がり、そのまま浴室に入って、濡れた身体を気にすることなく雅之を抱きしめ、目を閉じた。「今日、クラブに行ってきたの」男は動きを止め、しばらくしてから「もうわかったんだろう」とため息をついた。あの時に聞こえた彼の声は、音楽と混ざり合っていて、それほど鮮明ではなかった。それなのに、今の彼の低い声は里香の頭の上で鳴り響いている。その鮮明で心に響く声に、里香は息を呑むほど胸が痛んだ。雅之は話せるようになったが、彼はすぐにこのことを伝えてくれるどころか、離婚を切り出そうとしている。それは本当なのだろうか。どうして離婚なんて言い出すの？そう質問したい気持ちでいっぱいだったが、我慢した。この1年間、彼に対して悪いことをした覚えは一度もないのに、離婚を切り出されるのなら、せめて理由を知りたい。心は冷たく感じるが、彼の体温に恋しい里香は、もっと強く夫の体を抱きしめた。「ええ、誰かと話しているのが聞こえたけど、何を話していたかはわからなかった。本当に素敵だったよ、まさくんの声」そう言いながら、彼の背中にキスをした。まさくん。その呼び方は、二人だけのプライベートな時に使う特別なものだ。そう呼ばれるたびに、雅之はさらに情熱的に応えてくれる。しかし、今夜は違った。里香は押し戻されてしまった。「疲れた」と雅之が言った。里香は顔を青ざめ、夫の立派な背中を見つめながら、突然怒りが湧き上がってきた。「だから欲しいって言ってるの。雅之は私の夫でしょう？夫としての責任をちゃんと果たすべきじゃないの？」疲れたと言っていたが、まさか他の女と寝たからではないだろうね？今すぐ確認しなければ！突然強気になった里香に驚いたのか、里香の柔らかい指が体中を這うと、雅之の息はますます荒くなっていった。体は正直なもので、この男はいつも里香の誘惑に弱い。黒い瞳の中に暗い色がちらりと光り、雅之は里香の顎をつかみ、唇を奪った…	LEARN_MORE	https://mmplm.com/market/goodnovel/1?lpid=14806&ut	女の子が読みたい小説を大特集	https://www.facebook.com/61559954921868/	120	1969-12-31 18:00	Learn More	mmplm.com	DCO		https://mmplm.com/market/goodnovel/1?lpid=14806&utm_campaign={{campaign.name}}&utm_content={{campaign.id}}&adset_name={{adset.name}}&adset_id={{adset.id}}&ad_id={{ad.id}}&ad_name={{ad.name}}&placement={{placement}}	1969-12-31 18:00	https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.35426-6/465212100_897429978668628_9056086323662448835_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s60x60_tt6&_nc_cat=104&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=c53f8f&_nc_ohc=IQSrkk3MC4EQ7kNvgE2ok4L&_nc_zt=14&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-1.xx&_nc_gid=AHpwQdHxHYHp-ZyH_Vpb5UF&oh=00_AYCn7cBkJHd9QvhMeNo0aSspOxmHsJKyhCd69f2hrleGig&oe=67613CF9	PERSON_PROFILE	女の子が読みたい小説を大特集	1969-12-31 18:00	View Edit Delete
2,644,988	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) '{"alias":2644982}'	No	2024-12-12 18:30	active	1996	ここをクリックして無料でお読みください！	「いつ彼女と離婚するの？」個室の中で、女の子は愛情に満ちた瞳で目の前の男性を見つめていた。小松里香は個室の外に立っていて、手足が冷えている。その女の子と同じく、小松里香は男の美しく厳しい顔を見つめ、顔色は青ざめている。男は彼女の夫、二宮雅之である。口がきけない雅之は、このクラブでウェイターとして働いている。里香は今日仕事を終えて一緒に帰るために早めにやって来たが、こんな場面に遭遇するとは予想していなかった。男は薄い唇を軽く開き、低くて心地よい声を発した。「できるだけ早く彼女に話すよ」里香は目を閉じ、背を向けた。話せるんだ。しかもこんな素敵な声だったなんて。それにしても、やっと聞けた彼の最初の言葉が離婚だったなんて、予想外でした。人違いだったのかと里香は少し茫然自失していた。あの上品でクールな男性が、雅之だなんて、あり得ない。雅之が離婚を切り出すはずがない。クラブを出たとき、外は雨が降っていた。すぐに濡れてしまい、里香は携帯を取り出し、夫の番号にダイヤルしてみた。個室の窓まで歩いて行き、雨でかすんだ視野を通して中を覗いた。雅之は眉を寄せながら携帯を手に取り、無表情で通話を切ってから、メッセージを打ち始めた。メッセージがすぐに届いた。「どうして電話をかけてきたの？僕が話さないこと、忘れてたの？」里香はメッセージを見つめ、まるでナイフで刺されたかのように心臓が痛くなってきた。なぜ嘘をつく？いつ喋れるようになったのか？あの女の子とは、いつ知り合ったんだろう？いつ離婚することを決めたんだろう？胸に湧い上がる無数の疑問を今すぐぶちまけたいと思ったが、彼の冷たい表情に怖じけづいて、できなった。 1年前、記憶喪失で口がきけない雅之を家に連れて帰った時、彼は自分の名前の書き方だけを覚えていて、他のすべてを忘れていた。そんな雅之に読み書きから手話まで一から教え、さらに人を愛することさえ学ばせたのは小松里香だった。その後、二人は結婚した。習慣が身につくには21日かかると言われているが、1年間一緒にいると、雅之という男の存在にも、自分への優しい笑顔にもすっかり慣れてきた。だからこれはきっと嘘に違いない、雅之は離婚を切り出すはずがないと信じていた。雨に濡れて家に帰ると、里香はお風呂に入り、雅之のために料理を用意して、食卓で静かに待っていた。時計が夜の10時を指したとき、ドアが開き、寒気をまとった雅之が家に入ってきた。雅之はすでにウェイターの制服に着替えていた。理由もなく心が痛くなった。日中に見た男の姿が幻なのかどうかわからなかった。「里香、どうしたの？」顔が青ざめ、ぼんやりとした表情の妻を見た雅之は、心配そうに手話で尋ねた。彼の端正な顔立ちには不安がにじみ、暗い瞳には焦りが宿っていたが、里香の頭の中に浮かんでいたのは、冷たい目でメッセージを打ち込みながら、別の女性と楽しそうに会話している夫の姿だった。なんて皮肉なものだ。「香水の匂いがするよ、他の女性の」里香は彼に触れられるのを避けながら言葉を発した。雅之の顔色が一変し、手話で答えた。「今日、個室で接客した際、お客様の香水の匂いがついたかもしれない。すぐにシャワーを浴びてくるね。」雅之が立ち上がってトイレに行くと、すぐに水の流れる音が聞こえてきた。緊張しながら説明する様子は、嘘くさく見えなかった。里香は立ち上がり、そのまま浴室に入って、濡れた身体を気にすることなく雅之を抱きしめ、目を閉じた。「今日、クラブに行ってきたの」男は動きを止め、しばらくしてから「もうわかったんだろう」とため息をついた。あの時に聞こえた彼の声は、音楽と混ざり合っていて、それほど鮮明ではなかった。それなのに、今の彼の低い声は里香の頭の上で鳴り響いている。その鮮明で心に響く声に、里香は息を呑むほど胸が痛んだ。雅之は話せるようになったが、彼はすぐにこのことを伝えてくれるどころか、離婚を切り出そうとしている。それは本当なのだろうか。どうして離婚なんて言い出すの？そう質問したい気持ちでいっぱいだったが、我慢した。この1年間、彼に対して悪いことをした覚えは一度もないのに、離婚を切り出されるのなら、せめて理由を知りたい。心は冷たく感じるが、彼の体温に恋しい里香は、もっと強く夫の体を抱きしめた。「ええ、誰かと話しているのが聞こえたけど、何を話していたかはわからなかった。本当に素敵だったよ、まさくんの声」そう言いながら、彼の背中にキスをした。まさくん。その呼び方は、二人だけのプライベートな時に使う特別なものだ。そう呼ばれるたびに、雅之はさらに情熱的に応えてくれる。しかし、今夜は違った。里香は押し戻されてしまった。「疲れた」と雅之が言った。里香は顔を青ざめ、夫の立派な背中を見つめながら、突然怒りが湧き上がってきた。「だから欲しいって言ってるの。雅之は私の夫でしょう？夫としての責任をちゃんと果たすべきじゃないの？」疲れたと言っていたが、まさか他の女と寝たからではないだろうね？今すぐ確認しなければ！突然強気になった里香に驚いたのか、里香の柔らかい指が体中を這うと、雅之の息はますます荒くなっていった。体は正直なもので、この男はいつも里香の誘惑に弱い。黒い瞳の中に暗い色がちらりと光り、雅之は里香の顎をつかみ、唇を奪った…	LEARN_MORE	https://mmplm.com/market/goodnovel/1?lpid=14806&ut	女の子が読みたい小説を大特集	https://www.facebook.com/61559954921868/	120	1969-12-31 18:00	Learn More	mmplm.com	DCO		https://mmplm.com/market/goodnovel/1?lpid=14806&utm_campaign={{campaign.name}}&utm_content={{campaign.id}}&adset_name={{adset.name}}&adset_id={{adset.id}}&ad_id={{ad.id}}&ad_name={{ad.name}}&placement={{placement}}	1969-12-31 18:00	https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.35426-6/465212100_897429978668628_9056086323662448835_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s60x60_tt6&_nc_cat=104&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=c53f8f&_nc_ohc=IQSrkk3MC4EQ7kNvgE2ok4L&_nc_zt=14&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-1.xx&_nc_gid=AHpwQdHxHYHp-ZyH_Vpb5UF&oh=00_AYCn7cBkJHd9QvhMeNo0aSspOxmHsJKyhCd69f2hrleGig&oe=67613CF9	PERSON_PROFILE	女の子が読みたい小説を大特集	1969-12-31 18:00	View Edit Delete
2,644,990	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) null	No	2024-12-12 18:30	active	1996	🔞Attention! Do not read in public！👉	I was reduced to be a slave since I was 6, tortured by my Alpha brother in the cruelest way for I have committed an unforgivable sin. A sin only relieved with the arrival of a demon Alpha rumored to have killed all his nine ex-wives. ... “You smell funny. Yet you are a Wolf, correct?” The stranger leans closer to me with a drink in his hand and sniffed me. That's when I get to have a clear look of his eyes, crimson red, fiery and dangerous. A moment ago, out of nowhere he came from behind me and pressed close. From the way he behave, he seems to be an Alpha. But I can't tell. My wolf abilities are bound by my brother Alpha Trey as punishment. One of the many punishments he imposed on me since I was 6, since I committed that unforgivable crime. Earlier this morning, my ex mate Beta Kyle forced me to clean Alpha Trey's office, as they are to have an important guest today. Before Kyle slamed the door and left, he hit me on the ground and spat on me saying how right he was to reject me as I was nothing but a damned sinner. I slowly picked myself up and finally cried out before the voice of a stranger startled me. But he was more surprised than I was when he found out I didn't notice his strong presence at all. "Why you can't smell an Alpha? An alpha like me?" Seeing me silent, he got even more curious. An Alpha like him? Maybe he was THE Alpha my brother was fawning upon for months - the King of the largest pack in the world - Alpha Dane. "My wolf abilities were bound." I shivered as his commanding aura wraps me. "Why?" He asked with his eyes traveled my whole body.	LEARN_MORE	https://wwwedb.com/market/meganovel/13?lpid=11783&	New world publications	https://www.facebook.com/100090352943774/	3,766	1969-12-31 18:00	Learn More	wwwedb.com	DCO		https://wwwedb.com/market/meganovel/13?lpid=11783&utm_campaign={{campaign.name}}&utm_content={{campaign.id}}&adset_name={{adset.name}}&adset_id={{adset.id}}&ad_id={{ad.id}}&ad_name={{ad.name}}	1969-12-31 18:00	https://scontent-iad3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.35426-6/463902639_1173366360399505_777601525468983780_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s60x60_tt6&_nc_cat=109&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=c53f8f&_nc_ohc=lTyq5qYWb8kQ7kNvgFXkLXv&_nc_zt=14&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-2.xx&_nc_gid=AHpwQdHxHYHp-ZyH_Vpb5UF&oh=00_AYDi2Z4zu2z72IYXYJ-EViugvWueEP5eAxY8H7iH4ePYvQ&oe=6761380D	PERSON_PROFILE	New world publications	1969-12-31 18:00	View Edit Delete
2,644,994	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) '{"alias":2644990}'	No	2024-12-12 18:30	active	1996	🔞Attention! Do not read in public！👉	I was reduced to be a slave since I was 6, tortured by my Alpha brother in the cruelest way for I have committed an unforgivable sin. A sin only relieved with the arrival of a demon Alpha rumored to have killed all his nine ex-wives. ... “You smell funny. Yet you are a Wolf, correct?” The stranger leans closer to me with a drink in his hand and sniffed me. That's when I get to have a clear look of his eyes, crimson red, fiery and dangerous. A moment ago, out of nowhere he came from behind me and pressed close. From the way he behave, he seems to be an Alpha. But I can't tell. My wolf abilities are bound by my brother Alpha Trey as punishment. One of the many punishments he imposed on me since I was 6, since I committed that unforgivable crime. Earlier this morning, my ex mate Beta Kyle forced me to clean Alpha Trey's office, as they are to have an important guest today. Before Kyle slamed the door and left, he hit me on the ground and spat on me saying how right he was to reject me as I was nothing but a damned sinner. I slowly picked myself up and finally cried out before the voice of a stranger startled me. But he was more surprised than I was when he found out I didn't notice his strong presence at all. "Why you can't smell an Alpha? An alpha like me?" Seeing me silent, he got even more curious. An Alpha like him? Maybe he was THE Alpha my brother was fawning upon for months - the King of the largest pack in the world - Alpha Dane. "My wolf abilities were bound." I shivered as his commanding aura wraps me. "Why?" He asked with his eyes traveled my whole body.	LEARN_MORE	https://wwwedb.com/market/meganovel/13?lpid=11783&	New world publications	https://www.facebook.com/100090352943774/	3,766	1969-12-31 18:00	Learn More	wwwedb.com	DCO		https://wwwedb.com/market/meganovel/13?lpid=11783&utm_campaign={{campaign.name}}&utm_content={{campaign.id}}&adset_name={{adset.name}}&adset_id={{adset.id}}&ad_id={{ad.id}}&ad_name={{ad.name}}	1969-12-31 18:00	https://scontent-iad3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.35426-6/463902639_1173366360399505_777601525468983780_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s60x60_tt6&_nc_cat=109&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=c53f8f&_nc_ohc=lTyq5qYWb8kQ7kNvgFXkLXv&_nc_zt=14&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-2.xx&_nc_gid=AHpwQdHxHYHp-ZyH_Vpb5UF&oh=00_AYDi2Z4zu2z72IYXYJ-EViugvWueEP5eAxY8H7iH4ePYvQ&oe=6761380D	PERSON_PROFILE	New world publications	1969-12-31 18:00	View Edit Delete
2,644,999	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) '{"alias":2644955}'	Yes	2024-12-12 18:30	active	1996	🔞Attention! Do not read in public！👉		LEARN_MORE	https://shgjfh.com/market/meganovel/13?lpid=13831&	Random Reading	https://www.facebook.com/61559743679549/	321	1969-12-31 18:00	Learn More	https://shgjfh.com/market/meganovel/13?lpid=13831&...	CAROUSEL		https://shgjfh.com/market/meganovel/13?lpid=13831&utm_campaign={{campaign.name}}&utm_content={{campaign.id}}&adset_name={{adset.name}}&adset_id={{adset.id}}&ad_id={{ad.id}}&ad_name={{ad.name}}&placement={{placement}}	1969-12-31 18:00	https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.35426-6/465015191_524417157157150_6126132211507196535_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s60x60_tt6&_nc_cat=102&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=c53f8f&_nc_ohc=_MJ9fyYZp7cQ7kNvgEwAmug&_nc_zt=14&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-1.xx&_nc_gid=AHpwQdHxHYHp-ZyH_Vpb5UF&oh=00_AYDVIw8tt5T-vqKlMcMrK0sPlgKzan5Ct5UxYuVMIcv4Bg&oe=6761418D	PERSON_PROFILE	Random Reading	1969-12-31 18:00	View Edit Delete
2,645,003	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) '{"alias":2644955}'	No	2024-12-12 18:30	active	1996	🔞Attention! Do not read in public！👉		LEARN_MORE	https://shgjfh.com/market/meganovel/13?lpid=13831&	Random Reading	https://www.facebook.com/61559743679549/	321	1969-12-31 18:00	Learn More	https://shgjfh.com/market/meganovel/13?lpid=13831&...	CAROUSEL		https://shgjfh.com/market/meganovel/13?lpid=13831&utm_campaign={{campaign.name}}&utm_content={{campaign.id}}&adset_name={{adset.name}}&adset_id={{adset.id}}&ad_id={{ad.id}}&ad_name={{ad.name}}&placement={{placement}}	1969-12-31 18:00	https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.35426-6/465015191_524417157157150_6126132211507196535_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s60x60_tt6&_nc_cat=102&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=c53f8f&_nc_ohc=_MJ9fyYZp7cQ7kNvgEwAmug&_nc_zt=14&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-1.xx&_nc_gid=AHpwQdHxHYHp-ZyH_Vpb5UF&oh=00_AYDVIw8tt5T-vqKlMcMrK0sPlgKzan5Ct5UxYuVMIcv4Bg&oe=6761418D	PERSON_PROFILE	Random Reading	1969-12-31 18:00	View Edit Delete
2,645,005	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) '{"alias":2644955}'	No	2024-12-12 18:30	active	1996	🔞Attention! Do not read in public！👉		LEARN_MORE	https://shgjfh.com/market/meganovel/13?lpid=13831&	Random Reading	https://www.facebook.com/61559743679549/	321	1969-12-31 18:00	Learn More	https://shgjfh.com/market/meganovel/13?lpid=13831&...	CAROUSEL		https://shgjfh.com/market/meganovel/13?lpid=13831&utm_campaign={{campaign.name}}&utm_content={{campaign.id}}&adset_name={{adset.name}}&adset_id={{adset.id}}&ad_id={{ad.id}}&ad_name={{ad.name}}&placement={{placement}}	1969-12-31 18:00	https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.35426-6/465015191_524417157157150_6126132211507196535_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s60x60_tt6&_nc_cat=102&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=c53f8f&_nc_ohc=_MJ9fyYZp7cQ7kNvgEwAmug&_nc_zt=14&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-1.xx&_nc_gid=AHpwQdHxHYHp-ZyH_Vpb5UF&oh=00_AYDVIw8tt5T-vqKlMcMrK0sPlgKzan5Ct5UxYuVMIcv4Bg&oe=6761418D	PERSON_PROFILE	Random Reading	1969-12-31 18:00	View Edit Delete
2,645,008	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) '{"alias":2644617}'	Yes	2024-12-12 18:30	active	1996	🔞Attention! Do not read in public！👉	Ouch! Beta Kyle rudely kicks me to the floor in front of the office door and yells, “Useless Stupid Wolf! Clean the office asap! Our guest, Alpha Dane will be arriving soon!” Alpha Dane, I had only ever heard rumours about him. He was a ruthless man, a Wolf feared by others. He didn’t mess around and he had the largest pack. “He is the Alpha of Black Shadow, the biggest pack in the world, we need him!” Beta Kyle continues. He digs his nails into my thinning skin before he moves away. Quietly closing the door, I lean back against it, observing the already clean office. There was nothing out of place, it looked perfectly fine for a meeting with this so-called powerful Alpha. I hated this house. I thought that when I turned 18, I could finally escape, but 4 years later, here I still am, a slave in my own home. Doing all the dirty tasks for my brother, Alpha Trey and the pack. While my ex mate, Beta Kyle waltzes around reminding me of how worthless I am. Closing my eyes, I slide down to the floor. “Uhheem” Someone clears their throat and I freeze, I thought I was alone. Leaning forward, I see a handsome man sitting in a chair, just around the corner. A foot propped up on his knee as he nurses a glass of alcohol. His short hair is dark and his eyes are a deep crimson colour, that don’t quite look right. They suddenly shift to me and I throw myself back against the door as my heart pounded. “Is this the way you greet all Alpha’s?” His deep voice rumbles through the room, there was an edge of amusement to his tone. “I’m sorry.” I whisper, getting to my feet. “I…I thought I was alone.” I had no idea who he was but I could feel the power radiating off of him, even without my Wolf. “Come forward.” He orders and I already feel a lump forming in my throat. Alpha Trey was going to kill me. I step around the corner, doing as I’m told, allowing him to see me properly. I close my eyes, expecting the worst. “You smell funny. Yet you are a Wolf, correct?” I nod, though I couldn’t tell how he was going to react. Most laughed when they found out about me. “I would prefer it if you spoke to me.” He growls, “I’m not in the mood to play games.” “Yes.” I whisper. I couldn’t help but think of all the punishments I was going to have to endure. A whipping maybe? Starvation for another week? “Why do you smell strange? And how is it possible for you to not know I was in the room? You should have scented me.” “I…” I hated the question. “Spit it out, I haven’t got all day!” His deep voice sends a shiver through me, “You should open your eyes when you are talking to someone. It’s rude to not look at them.” Slowly, I open my eyes and lower them, there was no way I was making eye contact. “My Wolf abilities were bound,” I mutter. Twice, I wanted to add. Twice my abilities were bound. But he probably wasn’t interested in that part. He leans forward, carefully placing his glass on the small table next to the chair. I could feel him staring at me, “Why would someone do that?” If this is the Alpha that my brother is supposed to be meeting with, I knew I could screw everything up for him by saying too much. “It was a punishment.” I whisper. It wasn’t far from the entire truth but it was the simplest answer I could give. There’s a twitch in his cheek. Was he angry to hear of such a punishment? Or maybe, just like the others, he was amused by it. I couldn’t tell. The door swings open and my brother screeches at me “Neah, what the fuck are you doing in my office?” He turns to the crimson eyed man. “I am so sorry that my sister is bothering you, Alpha Dane.” Crap, it was him. My brother spins around, his hand stretching out to hit me. I close my eyes, bracing myself, ready to feel the burn. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Alpha Dane’s voice rumbles through the room. Peeking through slits, I see Alpha Dane has risen to his feet, his hand coiled around my brother's wrist. He was taller than my brother, more muscly too. “Neah,” My name rolls off of his tongue, “was kindly showing me to your office, Alpha Trey, as you failed to meet me at the front of your house like I requested. I was lucky someone was present, at least someone understands the importance of this deal.” What? I had no idea what he was talking about. And he had no reason to lie for me. My brother glares at me, clenching his jaw tight. I was going to pay for this later. I would have to try and steal some food. “Get out now!” Alpha Trey seethes. I nod my head and hurry from the room, the last thing I wanted was to be caught between bickering men. I try to keep myself busy to stay as far away from the office as possible. My peace is short-lived when I hear my brother calling out for champagne and some glasses. Quickly finding what he asked for, I bow my head as I re-enter the office. I can feel Alpha Dane watching my every move; even the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. No one has ever watched me this closely. Approaching the small table by Alpha Danes chair, I start to fill the glasses. He takes the champagne bottle from me, telling me he is more than capable of filling his own glass. I feel my cheeks flame, not from embarrassment, but because I knew that I would be punished for this. I should have been quicker. I should have filled the glasses before entering the office. I should have…. My brain freezes when I see my brother glaring at me. “Neah is your sister, correct?” Alpha Dane questions my brother. “She is.” Alpha Trey mutters with disgust. “Why do you treat her like shit?” Straight to the point, my brother wouldn’t like that. No one had spoken to my brother about his treatment of me because everyone took great joy in beating me. I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t move but I knew I had to get out of there. If this deal goes to pot because of me, then that would be my fault too. “She's an unforgiven murderer.” Alpha Trey spits I closed my eyes, battling back the tears that were threatening to break free. “Murdered who?” Alpha Dane’s voice rumbles through me. He was definitely angry. “Our parents.”	LEARN_MORE	https://wwwedb.com/market/meganovel/13?lpid=11783&	New world publications	https://www.facebook.com/100090352943774/	3,766	1969-12-31 18:00	Learn more	wwwedb.com	VIDEO		https://wwwedb.com/market/meganovel/13?lpid=11783&utm_campaign={{campaign.name}}&utm_content={{campaign.id}}&adset_name={{adset.name}}&adset_id={{adset.id}}&ad_id={{ad.id}}&ad_name={{ad.name}}&placement={{placement}}	1969-12-31 18:00	https://scontent-iad3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.35426-6/465671825_1090478159112064_7434394473105215723_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s60x60_tt6&_nc_cat=103&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=c53f8f&_nc_ohc=Uxh9Vq4TYqgQ7kNvgHkR1Ys&_nc_zt=14&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-2.xx&_nc_gid=AHpwQdHxHYHp-ZyH_Vpb5UF&oh=00_AYCVuw_qKzbTdfXD79lGC2nL6fOoCRKDxKcqU3G995HXyg&oe=67616C12	PERSON_PROFILE	New world publications	1969-12-31 18:00	View Edit Delete
2,645,010	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) '{"alias":2644961}'	No	2024-12-12 18:30	active	1996	🔥🔥LUST IS SWEETER THE SECOND TIME AROUND📖💕	"Puta!"Sambit ni Ken sa kaulyaw nyang si Alice.Pumunta ito sa opisina nya para makikipag meeting.Pero ito ang meeting na ibig nyang sabihin."Mating"pala.Isa lang si Alice sa mga babae nya pero wala cyang girlfriend na matatawag sa isa man sa kanila. "Ohhh Ken,more."Sambit nito sarap na sarap sa ginagawa nya.Naka pwesto ito patalikod sa kanya habang pinapaligaya nya..Pagod sana cya sa araw na iyon pero ang palay ang lumapit sa kanya para tukain...sino ba naman cya para hindian ang grasya ng langit. Nasa kasarapan sila ng pag-niniig ng biglang nagbukas ang pinto...Pumasok ang secretary nyang si Jonie...Naka yuko ito habang nakatingin sa dalang mga papel na papa-pirmahan sa kanya,kinakagat-kagat pa nito ang dulo ng ballpen kaya hindi sila napansin ng dalaga. "Sir,may meeting kayo with Ms.Alice today..." "I'm already here Puta"sagot ni Alice habang sarap na sarap sa ginagawa niya.Hinahawakan nya ang balakang nito para sagad na sagad ang pag labas masok nya sa perlas nito."ahhh..ahhh...ahhhh..." "Ay kabayo!!!Napatalon sa gulat si Jonie ng makita silang nagba-babakbakan ni Alice.Naitapon nito pataas ang mga hawak na papel dahilan kaya nagkalat ang mga iyon sa buong opisina nya.Dali daling pinulot iyon isa-isa ni Jonie. Lihim cya napangiti....hindi kasi muna kumakatok bago pumasok....ayan tuloy!sambit nya sa isip "Sorry Sir,I don’t know na andito na pala si Ms Alice.."sambit ng secretarya nya habang patuloy sa pag pulot ng mga papel.Hindi ito tumitingin sa kanila,napako ang tingin nito sa sahig habang pinupulot isa-isa ang mga papel. Hindi cya nagpatinag kahit pa andiyan ang secretarya nya,hindi nya tinitigil ang pagkadyot kay Alice kaya patuloy din ito sa pag ungol.."ahhh Ken.." Napako ang tingin nya sa sekretarya,naaliw kasi sya sa ekspresyon ng mukha nito...habang umuungol si Alice ay napapangiwi ang mukha ito sa mga narinig mula sa kanila,tila nandidiri.Sumasabay ang pag-ngiwi ng mukha nito sa mga ungol ni Alice.Gusto nyang humalakhak....ang cute kasi tingnan ng sekretarya nya. Halos pagapang na ang posisyon nito para lang mapulot ang lahat ng mga papel sa sahig.Tila hingal na hingal sa ginagawa eh nagpupulot lang naman!Natatawa cya sa isip. Maya-maya pa ay humarap ito sa banda nya pero nakatutok pa din ang atensyon sa sahig kaya wala ito sa sarili na nakikitaan nya na ito ng panti dahil sa igsi ng palda nito.Black ang panti ni Jonie at sumilip ang perlas ng silangan. "Ahh lintik!"sambit nya....Lalo cyang ginanahan,pero hindi dahil kay Alice. "Ken,moreee!" Patuloy sya sa pag galaw sa puwitan ni Alice pero ang mata nya ay nakatingin sa perlas ni Jonie,hindi pa din nito alam na nasisilapan nya na ito,patuloy ito sa pagpulot ng papel. Sana hindi maubos ang papel sa bandang harapan nya.Mas gusto nya ang view doon.Bahagyang pang nalaylay ang blouse nito at sumisilip din ang malulusog na suso ng dalaga.Napapikit nalang cya ng mata.Anu ba yan!...Si Alice ang ka-niig nya pero si Jonie ang nasa isip nya! Nang matapos mapulot ang mga papel ay patakbong lumabas si Jonie ng office at sinara ang pinto. "Baby,Pumasok ka sa loob ko, mas gusto kita, gusto kita grabe! !!!"Sambit ni Alice. Bumalik ang atensyon nya kay Alice nang makalabas na si Jonie. "Ahhh...ooh Baby, ang laki mo na, gusto ko pa. aahhh ahhh.aahhh" Parang nawalan na tuloy sya ng gana sa ingay ng babae,parang star ito kung maka ungol,dagdag pa na pagod cya...humugot muna sya ng malalim na hininga saka tinapos nya na agad ang pagpapaligaya sa dalaga. "Ahhhhhh..mahabang ungol ni Alice ng nilabasan na cya. "Ang galing mo talaga Ken.."tumayo si Alice at inayos ang palda nito. "Next time ulit ha....Bye!"Nag flying kiss pa ito sa kanya bago lumabas "Puta"Sambit nya sa utak.Kinuha nya ang kondomsa ari nya at tinapon iyon sa basurahan.Kahit ilang babae pa ang lumapit sa kanya ay kaya nya yan....ang importante ay nagpa-practice sya ng safe talik. Inayos nya ang pantalon at umupo sa sofa.Napagod cya sa ginawa nila ni Alice.Masyado kasi itong wild.Bakit kasi ganito ang papel nya sa mundo?Ang magpaligaya ng mga babaeng tigang!Natawa cya sa mga naiisip. Naalala nya ang mukha ng sekretarya nya kanina.Aliw na aliw cya habang pinagmamasdan itong pinupulot ang lahat ng papel na naka-kalat,hindi na nito alam kung ano ang uunahing gagawin.Natawa sya Nakita nya din ang panti nito,kakaiba ang naramdaman nya kanina ng masilip ang panti ng dalaga.Madami naman cyang nakitang puki pero bakit parang ang puki ng sekretarya nya ang gusto nyang makita?Saka ang suso nitong tayo-tayo!...parang hindi pa nalamas ng lalaki...Ah Lintik! Bigla cyang nakaramdam ng init...panti palang ang nakita nya pero bakit ang lakas na ng epekto nito sa kanya?Maganda din ang sekretarya nyang si Jonie,fresh graduate ito,halatang wala pang karanasan sa pag-ibig.Sa tantiya nya ay 24 palang ito. Four months palang ang dalaga bilang sekretary nya at masasabi nyang very efficient ito sa work.Dati nilang OJT si Jonie. Inabsorb ng kompanya nga ang dalaga dahil Summa cum Laude ito nung grumaduate sa college.Kung bibitawan pa nya ay siguradong pag aagawan ito ng ibang kompanya. Ibang-iba din ito sa mga naging sekretarya nya dati.Lahat kasi ng naging sekretarya nya ay inaakit cya.Isa sa mga gusto nyang maging sekretarya ay maganda,mestiza at seksi.Gusto nyang maganda lagi ang nakikita habang nagta-trabaho,mas ginaganahan cya kapag ganun...at pasok na pasok si Jonie sa mga requirements nya na yun. Ang pinagkaiba lang ni Jonie sa mga naging sekretarya nya ay matalino ito.Ang iba kasi ay puro katawan lang at walang utak.Hindi rin ito nagpapakita ng ano mang pagka gusto sa kanya.Pure work lang ang dalaga kaya feeling nya ay wala itong interes sa kanya.Ito lang ata ang babaeng hindi nahuhumaling sa kagwapuhan nya.Alam nya iyon kasi hindi man lang ito kinikilig habang kausap cya.Bagkus ay parang takot pa nga ito sa kanya.Ahhh!bakit nga ba si Jonie ang iniisip nya eh kakatapos nya lang makikipag-niig kay Alice? Sumilay ang ngiti sa labi nya.Parang gusto nya tuloy tuksuhin si Jonie.May naisip cyang kalokohan...Naaaliw cya habang inaalala ang mukha nito kanina.Ang cute kasi ng dalaga.Tumayo sya at pumunta sa desk nya.Tinawagan nya ito sa intercom. "S-sir may kailangan po kayo?"Nag-aalangang sagot ng dalaga.Parang may takot na naman sa boses nito. "Pasok ka sa office ko..."Utos nya.Seryoso ang boses nya habang kausap ang dalaga. "Lintik!"Narinig pa nyang pabulong na sambit ng dalaga.Lalong natawa sya sa isip.Maya-maya pa ay kumatok ito ng dalawang beses. "Pasok!"Sigaw nya.Pagpasok ng dalaga ay hindi ito makatingin sa mata nya,nakayuko lang ito. "Ahm Sir my kailangan po ba kayo?"tanong ni Jonie habang hawak ang ballpen na halos mabali na sa kakalapirot nito...hindi ito mapakali. "Itatanong ko lang kung bakit kanina hindi ka kumatok kung marunong ka naman pala kumatok?"Seryosong tanong nya kay Jonie.Gusto nyang makita ang expresyon ng mukha nito. "Ah eh Sir,hindi ko po kasi akalain na andito ba si Ms.Alice sa loob ng opisina nyo"Mukhang takot na takot na naman ito sa kanya.Hindi ito tumitingin sa mata nya.Patuloy lang itong naka yuko.Gusto nya nang tumawa ng malakas.Aliw na aliw cya sa dalaga...napaka inosente nito. "Hmmm...."tumango lang cya bilang sagot sa dalaga."So kamusta naman ang performance ko kanina?" "Sir???"Napangiti sya sa reaksyon ni Jonie.Nagulat ito sa tanong nya.Ang cute talaga ng pagka inosente ni Jonie "Wala..next time kumatok ka muna para hindi ka maalangan palagi." "Y-yes sir...May iuutos po ba kayo?" "Wala naman..." "S-sige po Sir labas na ako." Sinundan nya ng tingin ang paglabas nito sa opisina nya.Halos madapa na ito sa kakamadali makalabas lang doon.Napahalakhak cya ng wala na si Jonie.Mas natutuwa pa ata cya kay Jonie kesa sa ginawa nila ni Alice. MARIA LEONORA GOMEZ: Hapong hapo cyang lumabas sa office ng boss nya.Paano kasi nakita nya kanina na may kaulyawan ito sa opisina.Bad trip kasi bakit hindi nya naisipang kumatok!Haaay.. Sa dinami-daming babaeng pumupunta sa office nila ay first time nya lang nakakita ng ganun.Para tuloy cyang nakapanood ng live scandal!Ang ingay pa ng babaing yun....Akala mo naman ay kinatakay! Well,hindi nya namam ma-judge ang babae...wala pa naman cyang experience sa pakikipagtalik kaya hindi nya alam kung bakit maingay itong mga babae kapag ginaganun! Umupo cya sa desk nya.Executive secretary siya ni Kenneth Enriquez.Isa ito sa mga pinaka mayamang tao sa Pilipinas.Ito ang nag mamay-ari ng mga malalaking subdivision sa iba't ibang parte ng bansa. As an executive secretary,sya ang pinagkakatiwalaan nito sa lahat ng mga schedules ng binata,kasama na doon ang pang babae nito. Babaero ang boss nya....Na saksihan nya lahat ng iyon dahil cya ang nag-aayos ng schedules nito sa mga bawat babae na gusto nitong makapiling.Sinisigurado nya na hindi magka hulihan ang mga babae ng boss nya.Wala naman itong exclusive girlfriend,ayaw nito ng commitment. Matangkad,pogi at matipono si Ken kaya madaming babaeng gusto maging boyfriend ito pero wala ni isa sa mga babae nito ang serious girlfriend....lahat ito ay panandalian lamang.Playtime lang kung baga.Kapag nagsawa ito ay basta-basta nalang nito itatapon na parang basahan. Bakit kasi ang kati-kati ng boss nya?Hindi ba ito nakokontento sa isa?Saka kawawa naman ang mga kabaro nyang mga babae!...pinaglalaruan lang ng isang lalaking katulad ng boss nya! Sabagay hindi nya naman masisi si Sir Ken kasi ang mga babae naman ang naghahabol dito.Pero kahit pa!Hindi ito dapat nag te-take advantage sa kahinaan ng mga babae! Kaya ako,hinding hindi ako mafa-fall sa boss ko na yan!Gwapo at macho at mayaman at....Ayy anu ba yan!akala ko ba hindi ka ma fa-fall?bakit kinikilig ka hahang dini-discribe mo ang manyakis mong boss!Erase erase!galit nya sa sarili.Nagring ang landline sa desk nya kaya bumalik cya sa huwisyo. "Hello,good morning Enriquez Builders?" "I would like to have an appointment with Mr.Ken Enriquez." "May I know who's on the line mam?" "Ann Valdez." "Give me a minute Mam.I'll just check on Mr Enriquez's schedule. Nilagay nya sa table ang telepono at pumunta sa opisina ng boss nya.Pag mga ganitong babae kasi ang tumatawag at nagpapa-appointment ay alam nya na ang pakay ng mga ito,hindi naman talaga business ang habol ng mga to....Nagpapa"kwan"lang sa boss nya!Ay ano ba yan!Iwinaksi nya sarili sa mga maduduming naiisip. Kumatok muna cya bago pumasok.Baka may kababalaghan na namang ginagawa ang boss nya doon. Nang hindi ito sumagot ay muli cya kumatok at sumigaw."Sir pasok po ako!"Saka nya binuksan ang pinto.Nasa table lang pala ito busy sa laptop.Hindi man lang cya sinagot kung pwede cya pumasok o hindi. "Sir,nagpapa-appointment si Ms.Ann Valdez..ano po sasabihin ko?" "Sir…...."Tawag nya ulit dito,parang hindi kasi cya narinig.Masyadong busy ito sa ginagawa sa laptop. “What is it?”Pasigaw na tanong nito sa kanya,napatalon tuloy cya.Mukhang magkaka nerbyos pa ata cya dito sa boss nya.Kanina lang ang okay ito...ngayon naman ay galit!May sayad na ata ang boss nya...Natuyuan na ata ito ng utak sa dami ng babaeng nakaniig nito. Yun din ang rason kaya bawal cyang magkamali sa trabaho dahil kung hindi ay sangkatutak na sermon ang matatanggap nya.Sala sa init,sala sa lamig kasi ito.Pabago-bago ng emosyon. "A-hm nagpapa appointment po si Ms Ann Valdez.Kelan daw cya pwedeng pumunta?" “Ok..mamaya 3PM.”Hindi na ito nag aksaya pa na tapunan cya ng tingin.Naka tutuk pa din ito sa laptop. "Ok sir..."Yun lang ang tanging nasagot nya saka tumalikod na at dali-daling lumabas sa office.Baka kasi mabuntungan pa ulit cya galit nito. Matindi ang takot niya sa kaniyang striktong boss. Kung hindi niya sana kailangan ng malaking halaga para sa operasyon ng kaniyang ina dulot ng cancer, matagal na siyang nag-resign. Ang plano nya ay mang-empleyo lang muna sa ibang kompanya katulad ng kay Sir Ken pagkaptapos kapag makapag-ipon na cya ng malaki ay plano nyang magpatayo ng sariling kompanya na cya mismo ang magpapatakbo. Aaminin nya malaki ang swledo na natatanggap nya sa kumpanya ni Sir Ken.First job nya iyon,Summa cum Laude sya pagka graduate ng college as Business Management kaya hindi mahirap para sa kanya ang mag hanap ng trabaho. Sa kompanya ni Sir Ken cya nag OJT,madaming kompanya ang gusto cyang i-hire pero pinili nya ang kompanya ni Sir Ken dahil kahit papaano ay may mga kakilala na cya doon. "Hello Ms Valdez?"sambit nya nang kunin ulit ang telepono. "What took you so long?"singhal ng babae sa kanya. Matagal nga cya kasi naman ang boss nya matagal din sumagot sa opisina."Sorry about that Mam.Chinek ko pa kasi ang schedule ni Sir..."pagsisinungaling nya. "Ang sabihin mo tatanga-tanga kang sekretarya!"muling singhal nito sa kanya. Nagpanting ang tenga nya!Gusto nya din sagutin ang babae na at least cya hindi nagpapakamot sa boss nya!Naku kung hindi lang talaga cya makapagtimpi baka hindi pa nya bigyan ng appointment ito sa boss nya! "Your appointment will be on 3PM later...that would be all mam?"mahinahon na wika nya sa kabilang linya.Hindi na cya sinagot nito,binagsakan pa cya ng telepono. “Bwisit! Nakakairita ang babaeng iyon!” Huminga siya ng malalim; ayaw niyang masira ang araw niya dahil dito. Nang makakalma na siya ng kaunti, lumabas siya ng opisina at nagpunta sa company cafeteria.Wala masiyadong tao sa cafetaria dahil ala una na ng hapon. Halos lahat ng empleyado ay tapos na mag-lunch break. Dalawang set ang binili nyang lunch,ang isa ay para sa kanya at ang isa naman ay para sa Boss nya.3 cups of rice ang binili nya,isa para sa kanya at dalawa para sa Boss nya.Alam nyang kulang ang 1 cup of rice dito dahil nakipag bakbakan ito kanina.Beef broccoli naman ulam na pinili nya. Bumili na din cya ng dalawang leche flan para panghimagas nila.Hindi nya alam kung mahilig ang Boss nya sa sweets pero kasi cya ay parang hindi kompleto ang pagkain kapag walang dessert.Mabuti nga at hindi naman cya tumataba dahil sa katakawan nya sa sweets. After nyang bumili ng lunch para sa kanila ay bumalik na cya ng office.Iniwan na nya si Fe doon,sa cafeteria na ito kakain. Nang makarating na cya sa opisina ay pinatong muna ang pagkain nya sa table nya saka pumunta sa opisina ng boss nya dala-dala ang pagkain na binili nya para dito.Kumatok muna cya bago pumasok....mahirap na baka may makita na naman cya. "Pasok!"sigaw ng boss nya mula sa loob. Binuksan nya ang pinto at pumasok.Naka tutuk pa din ito sa laptop."Sir binilhan na kita ng lunch....nakalimutan mo ata kumain."Nag angat ito ng tingin...tiningnan muna cya nito mula ulo hanggang paa..nahiya cya bigla,baka my dumi sya sa mukha. "Sir?...."pukaw nya dito. "Thank you Jonie...nakalimutan ko nga 1 PM na pala....kaya pala masakit na ang tyan ko.I was about to go out para mag lunch pero dahil binilhan mo na ako ay di nako lalabas...thank you."wika nito sa kanya saka inabot ang pagkain. Seryoso pa din ang mukha ng boss nya.Ewan ba nya bakit nagkaka-crush ang mga babae dito eh parang dragon kaya ito kung magalit!...Or baka sa kanya lang.Lumabas na cya ng office pagkatapos nyang maibigay ang food. Haaay hindi talaga cya makahinga ng tama kapag nasa loob ng office ng boss nya o kapag malapit ito sa kanya...parang hinihigop kasi nito ang lahat ng oxygen. Napatalon cya ng biglang nagring ang intercom nya."Sir,may ipag-uutos po ba kayo?"sagot nya....ito lang naman ang naka connect sa intercom nya. "Dito ka na kumain sa loob wala ako kasama eh.nakaka-bored kumain mag-isa..."wika nito sa kanya. "Ah eh....wag na ho,madami pa kasi akong trabaho dito sa desk ko."pagdadahilan nya. "Di ba nga lunch time?After lunch mo na gawin yan,and thats an order!" "O-ok sir...."wala na cyang magawa.That's an order daw eh!Dala-dala nya ang lunch na binili saka pumasok sa loob ng office.Gusto nyang magreklamo pero wala naman cyang magagawa. Umupo sya sa coffee table.May pangdalawahang chair doon...doon nalang cya kakain para medyo malayo sa boss nya,nakaupo kasi ito sa desk nito at nag sisimula ng kumain. Binuksan na nya ang pagkain nya at magsisimula na dapat kumain ng biglang lumapit ito sa kanya dala-dala din ang lunch nito saka umupo sa tabi nya.Hindi na naman cya makahinga...Nawawalan na naman cya ng oxygen.Di kaya may hika cya?Pa-check-up na kaya cya? "Dito nalang din ako kakain....Pinapasok nga kita dito para may kasabayan ako eh...tapos ang layo naman ng upuan mo sa akin!"Reklamo nito sa kanya. "Sorry po...."Yun lang ang tanging nasambit nya.Pinag patuloy na nito ang pagkain.Sya naman ay hindi pa nakasubo kahit isa....nahihiya kasi cya. "Nahihiya ka ba sa akin Jonie?O natatakot?" "Ahm...hindi naman Sir....naiilang lang cyempre boss po kita..." "Kumain ka na kung hindi ay ubusin ko yang pagkain mo....gutom pa naman ako!"Naubos na nito ang isang cup ng rice..Mabuti pala at 2 cups ang binili nya dito kung hindi ay mabibitin talaga ito. "Ah eh...gusto mo Sir sayo na lang?Hindi naman kasi talaga ako gutom...."pagsisinungaling nya. "I'm just joking...kain ka na!"simpleng sambit nito sa kanya. Kahit nahihiya ay pinilit na din nyang kumain.Kinuha nya ang kutsara at tinidor.Dahan-dahan nyang hinihiwa ang beef pero hindi kaya iyon kapag dadahan-dahanin nya.Sinulyapan nya ang Boss...walang tigil ito sa kakakain.Parang wala naman ito pakialam sa kanya kaya kumain na din cya.Kanina pa din kasi talaga cya gutom. Kahit hindi masyadong masarap ang luto sa cafeteria ay nagiging masarap na iyon sa panlasa nya lalo na't gutom cya.Pero mas masarap pa din ang luto nya kesa sa cafeteria.Sa isip nya. KENNETH POV: Pasimpleng pinagmamasdan nya si Jonie habang kumakain.Magana itong kumain kaya nakapagtataka kung bakit hindi ito tumataba.Napansin nyang mahilig din ito sa sweets.May leche flan pa itong dala para sa kanya.Actually hindi cya mahilig sa sweets pero dahil dala ito ni Jonie para sa kanya ay kakainin nya. Kilig na kilig cya ng dinalhan sya ng pagkain ng sekretarya nya.Hindi nya lang pinapahalata pero naa-appreciate nya iyon.Parang wala lang naman ito sa dalaga pero malaking bagay na iyon sa kanya. "Nga pala Jonie,ilang months ka na pala dito sa office?"pagbasag nito ng katahimikan sa pagitan nila. "4 months na Sir...pagka graduate ko ay dito agad ako nakapag trabaho sa kompanya mo.Dito din kasi ako nag OJT." Nakikinig lang cya sa dalaga na kunyari ay hindi nya alam."Balita ko ay Summa com Laude ka daw?"Napayuko ito...tila nahihiya. "Opo Sir....." "Matalino ka pala kung ganun?Swerte ko naman at sa akin ka napunta!....Este dito ka nakapagtrabaho...Galingan mo ha,kapag nakita ko ang work ethics mo ay tataasan ko sweldo mo para hindi ka ma-pirate ng ibang kompanya." "Naku Sir wag na ho!Malaki na po ang sweldo ko para sa isang fresh graduate na tulad ko." "Bakit ayaw mo ng increase?You deserve it dahil you graduated with flying colors!" "Ahhhh gusto Sir!..."biglang sagot nito. "Yun naman pala eh hahaha.."Sa lahat ng mga babaeng nakakasama nya ay ngayun lang ata cya nakatawa ng ganito kalakas at sa sekretarya pa nya. "Ilang taon ka na pala?"tanong ulit nya ulit dito.Alam nyang nahihiya at naiilang ito sa kanya kaya kinakausap nya ito ng kinakausap para mawala ang hiya nito sa kanya. "24 po..." Lintik ang layo pala agwat namin!30 na kasi cya...sa isip nya.Habang tumatagal ay gusto nya ang personality ng serectary nya.Ngayun lang sila nakapag-usap ng ganito.Palagi kasi itong ilag sa kanya.Matalino ito....may sense kausap. Pasimpleng tinitingnan nya ito habang kumakain..nahihiya ito sa kanya,ramdam nya iyon.Maliit kasi ang subo nito sa pagkain.Pero kapag hindi naman cya nakatingin ay malaki naman ito sumubo.Gusto nyang matawa pero pinigilan nya. Kasalukuyan na itong kumakain ng dessert.Kanina pa dapat cya tapos pero dinahan-dahan nya na din ang pagkain para hindi ito mailang sa kanya kapag mag-isa nalang itong kumakain.Tila sarap na sarap ito sa pagkain ng leche flan..Gumagalaw-galaw pa ang ulo ito habang sumusubo.Lihim cyang napangiti.Ang cute kasi nito...parang bata. "Sir labas na po ako ha,mag aalas-tres na pala.May meeting po kau with Ms.Ann Valdez." Akmang tatayo na ito ng pigilan nya."Cancel mo nalang yun,tinatamad nako eh.Mas gusto ko pang makipag-usap sayo kesa humarap sa babaeng yun."Biro nya dito pero hindi ito tumawa...napahiya tuloy cya,baka sabihin nito na feeling close cya. "Ah eh Sir baka po pagalitan ako ni Ms.Ann?" "Bahala ka na mag-alibi basta cancel my appointment to her..." "S-sige po sir..."Alanganing sagot nito. Lumabas na si Jonie at tinawagan si Ann.Alam nyang pagagalitan ito ni Ann pero wala na cyang magawa,ayaw nyang masira ang mood nya.Ang gusto nya ay si Jonie lang ang babaeng makikita ng mga mata nya sa araw na yun. Mag-isa nalang siya sa office.Natutuwa cya sa dalaga,masarap ito kausap...may sense...alam mong hindi bobo.Ilang sandali lang silang nag-usap ay parang naging interesado na cya sa babae.Pero nakikita nya sa mata nito na wala talaga ito pagtingin sa kanya.Boss lang talaga ang turing nito sa kanya kahit pa nagpapahaging na cya dito. Na-curious tuloy cya...gumana na naman ang kapilyuhan nya...parang gusto nyang gawing project si Jonie...make her fall in love with him!Napangiti cya sa mga naiisip. Pero nag-aalala din cya baka kasi umalis ang dalaga kapag ginawa nya iyon at ayaw nya mangyari yun!Jonie is an asset to him...kapag umalis ito sa kanya ay siguradong makakahanap agad ito ng trabaho at pag-aagawan pa ng ibang kompanya. Ah Lintik...pagpapalaglag mission!!!hindi nya pwedeng paglaruan ang dalaga.Sa iba nalang sya maglalaro!!!Nalungkot tuloy cya bigla sa desisyon nya. Dahil kinancel nya ang appointment with Ann ay wala na cyang ginagawa sa office.Nakatingin na lang cya sa labas,naka glass kasi ang buong wall ng kanyang office...nakikita nya ang mga tao sa labas pero hindi cya nakikita ng mga ito sa loob.Nakamasid lang sya sa mga ginagawa ni Jonie.Mahinhin kumilos ang dalaga,napakalambot nito....babaeng babae.5'5"lang ata ang height nito,cya naman ay 6 footer..Hmmm its ok,I like petite woman.parang masarap alagaan....sambit nya... Ah ano bang pinagsasabi nya?Hindi nga pwede si Jonie di ba???pagpapalaglag mission!!!Nakita nyang nag-aayos na ito ng mga gamit,pinapasok na ang mga gamit nito sa bag,tiningnan nya ang oras,5:30 na pala...malamang ay uuwi na ang babae.Dalidali na din cyang nag-ayos at lumabas ng office. "Oh Jonie bakit andito ka pa?5:30 na ah?"kunwaring tanong nya. "Ah may tinapos lang po...pauwi na din po ako Sir." Natawa cya sa sarili.Syempre alam nyang pauwi na ang dalaga!....kanina pa kaya nya ito pinagmamasdan! "Sakto!kung gusto mo sumabay ka na sa akin...pauwi na din ako..."wika nya.Ang galing nya talagang artista! "Ay wag na Sir...may dadaanan pa kasi ako..." "Saan naman yun?ihahatid kita..."Minsan naiinis na cya dito sa babaeng ito...hindi talaga effective ang charisma nya sa dalaga.Kung ibang babae siguro ay nagkukumahog na iyon na sasama sa kanya. "Wag na po...baka out of way sayo." "Saan nga?Paano ko malalaman na out of way kung hindi mo sasabihin?"Tila nawawalan na din cya ng pasencya sa dalaga at napalakas ang boses nya. "Sa Mendez hospital po..."Nahihiyang sagot ni Jonie sa kanya. "Sakto may pupuntahan din ako banda doon,sabay ka na sa akin..."Lihim cyang napangiwi...ang lousy na mga'the moves'nya!Bakit ba kasi nya ginagawa ito?Di ba nga pagpapalaglag mission na si Jonie sa kanya?Off limits na ang dalaga!!!Haaay bahala na....eh sa gusto nya eh! "Sure ka Sir?Baka nakakahiya..." "Hindi...tara na baka matraffic pa tayo."Nagpatiuna na cya sa paglakad para hindi na ito maka hindi pa sa kanya. JONIE POV: Pumayag nalang si Jonie sa offer ng boss nya...sayang din kasi ang pamasahe.Nag ga-grab pa kasi cya papunta sa ospital.Pag ganitong oras ay punuan na ang mga jeep kaya siguradong mahihirapan na cyang makarating sa ospital kaagad...dadalawin nya ang mama nya.Andun naman ang pinsan nya na nagbabantay,sinuswelduhan nya ito para magbantay sa mama nya,mag-isa lang kasi cyang anak. Wala din cyang Papa.Naanakan lang ang nanay nya ng amerikano kaya mestiza cya.Hindi pa nya nakita ang Papa simulang ng isinilang cya. "Jonie!"pukaw ni Sir Ken sa kanya. "Ay opo Sir...tara na."Nagpatiuna ito sa paglakad papuntang elevator.May sarili itong elevator kaya wala silang magiging kasabay. Nang makarating sa harap ng elevator ay hinintay siya nito na pumasok.Hinawakan cya nito sa beywang para igiya papasok.Napaikgtad cya ng bahagya ng maramdaman ang palad nito sa bewang nya.Pasimple nya itong tiningnan...parang wala lang naman ito dito...Baka nagpapaka gentleman lang. Haaay.masyado kang over reacting Jonie!Nag papaka-gentleman lang ang Boss mo...wag mo bigyan ng malisya!saway nya sa sarili. Wala silang pansinan habang nasa elevator.As usual hindi na naman cya makahinga...inuubos na naman ng boss nya ang oxygen sa loob ng elevator. "Are you ok?bakit parang hindi ka pamakali?" "Ah eh....wala po Sir...naiihi lang.Joke lang!" "Hahaha....nakakatawa ka talaga." First time nyang nakita ang boss nya na tumawa sa joke nya.Marunong din pala itong tumawa?Nang nasa parking na sila ay sumakay sila sa Ferrari red na sasakyan ng boss nya.Isa lang ito sa mga napakadami nitong sasakyan.Halos iba-iba ang kotse na ginagamit nito araw-araw. "Ano nga pala ang gagawin mo sa ospital?May sakit ka ba?" "Ah wala po...bibisitahin ko lang ang mama ko." "Why?ano nangyari sa mama mo?" "May cancer po cya.naka-admit cya sa ospital...naka schedule po cya for chemo. "Ohhhh...."tanging sagot nito sa kanya. Wala na sila pansinan habang nagba-byahe.Mabilis lang sila nakarating sa ospital dahil may mga short cut itong dinaanan.Akala nga nya kung saan na cya dadalhin nito,hindi nya kasi kabisado ang mga daan na dinadaanan nito. "Ah Sir thank you ha...mauna na po ako."Paalam nya ng makarating na sila sa parking ng hospital. "No...I want to go with you..." "Ay hindi na po kailangan!Nakakahiya!"Hinatid na nga cya sa ospital pati ba naman sa kwarto ng Mama nya ay uhahatid pa cya? "No,I insist...saka tigilan mo na ang kaka'Po'mo sa akin bata pa ako,kayang kaya ko pang hanggang 10 rounds." "Ano po yun Sir?" "Ahh...wala!" ***************** KEN POV: Kahit anong pigil nya ay hindi nya taalga maiwasan na magpahaging kay Jonie.Natural na sa kanya ang pagka pilyo kaya kusa nang lumalabas iyon sa bibig nya.birhen pala ang secretary nya kaya wala ito alam.Ang sarap tuloy paglaruan ang mga ganitong inosenteng babae... pagpapalaglag mission!!!pagpapalaglag mission!!sigaw na naman ng utak nya.Pinapaalala nito na off limits ni Jonie."Lintik!!!"napa mura cya.Nagulat si Jonie sa kanya.Napalakas pala ang pagmura nya "Ayy sorry....hindi ikaw ang minumura ko...may natapakan lang ako kaya nagulat ako."Pagdadahilan nya.Tumango lang ito sa kanya. Pumasok na ito sa ospital.Ramdam nyang nahihiya ito dahil nakasunod cya.Pasimpleng tinitingnan nya ito habang naglalakad.Ang ganda ng kurbada ng katawan nito....payat pero mabalakang.Napansin nyang malaman din ang suso nito.Nakikita nya iyon kapag medyo mababa ang pagka V-leeg ng suot na blouse nito...naramadaman nyang gumalaw si manoy.... Lintik Lintik Lintik!....pagpapalaglag pagpapalaglag pagpapalaglag!hindi ka pwede tayuan dito!Nakakahiya!..Nasa ospital ka pa man din!Galit nya sa sarili. "Ahm Jonie?"tawag nya sa dalaga,nilingon cya nito.Pasimpleng tinabuhan nya ang harapan nya.Baka mapansin nito ang galit na si manoy. "Ano ang room ng mama mo?susunod nalang ako doon...mag CR lang ako sandali" "Ah ok Sir....room 208 po si Mama." "Ok I'll be there...."sambit nya saka tumalikod at naghanap ng CR.kakalmahin nya muna ang sarili bago puntahan ang dalaga.Bakit kasi kung ano-ano ang mga iniisip nya?sinabi ng pagpapalaglag eh!Tigas din kasi ng ulo eh ayan tuloy tinigasan ka!!!galit ng utak nya sa kanya. Nang maramdamang ok na cya ay saka sya lumabas ng CR at pumunta sa room 208.Naabutan nyang kinakausap ng doctor si Jonie.Tulog ang mama nito,payat na ito pero halatang maganda noong kabataan nito.Dito nagmana si Jonie sa ganda pero morena ang mama nito,hindi katulad ni Jonie na mestiza.Malamang ay foreigner ang papa ni Jonie..Saan kaya ang papa ni dalaga?tanong nya sa isip.Pagkatapos makipag usap ng doctor kay Jonie ay umalis na ito. "Kamusta ang mama mo?"tanong nya dito...nakatulala lang kasi ito....Mukhang paiyak na.Ayaw nya naman hawakan ito at i-comfort,baka lalo mailang ito sa kanya.Kanina pa nga lang nung nasa elevator sila ay napaiktad pa ito ng hinawakan nya sa bewang...nagkunyari nalang cyang hindi nya iyon napansin para hindi ito lalong mailang. Hindi cya sinagot nito...parang walang narinig.Nakatingin lang ito sa mama nito."Ate!..."tawag ng isang babae na naroon din kay Jonie.Baka kamag-anak nya ito...may resemblance ang dalawang babae pero mas maganda pa din si Jonie. "Bakit?...." "Sino po cya?"Tanong nito sabay turo sa kanya. "Ay boss ko pala si Sir Ken....Sir pinsan ko po si Bebe...cya po ang nag babantay kay Mama habang nasa trabaho ako."Pakilala nito sa kanya. "Hi bebe..."bati nya dito.Kinilig naman ito ng binati nya.lihim nalang cyang natawa. "Bebe ikaw na ang bahala dito kay mama ha.Uuwi muna ako,babalik nalang ulit ako bukas." "Ok ate.dalhan mo ako pasalubong ha?" "Anu ba gusto mo?" "Jabee..."nakangiting sambit nito.Jolibee ang ibig sabihin nito pero ginagaya ang mga bata sa jabee ang tawag. "Mag order ka na jan sa app...eto pambayad."Inabutan ito ni Jonie ng 500.Tuwang tuwa naman ang pinsan nito. "Sige na...alis na kami ha...." "Bye ate....bye boss pogi!..."Pinandilatan ito ng mata ni Jonie...baka nahihiya sa inakto ng pinsan nito. "Pasencya ka na sa pinsan ko Sir.pilya lang talaga yan....tara na po?"Nginitian nya naman ito at tinanguan.. JONIE POV: Nagpatiuna na naman cya sa paglakad.Iniisip nya ang sinabi ng doctor.kailangan ng operahan ang mama nya sa lalong madaling panahon para maiwasan ang pag kalat ng cancer sa katawan nito. Kailangan nya ng malaking halaga.1 milyon ang hinihingi ng doctor sa kanya!Saan naman sya kukuha ng ganun kalaking pera!Wala pa nga sa kalahati ang ipon nya.Kung sana ay wala iyong maintenance ay siguro malaki-laki na ang naiipon nya.Bukod kasi sa pang oopera ng Mama nya ay kailangan nya din ng budget para sa maintenance nito. Kahit pa patayin nya ang sarili sa pagtatrabaho at pagluto ng ulam araw araw ay hindi pa din kaya punuin ang 1 milyon.Saka pagod pagod naman ang katawan nya.Baka pati cya ay ma-ospital na din sa kakahanap ng pera.Naiiyak nalang cya..pasimpleng pinahid nya ang luha nya. "Hey anything wrong?"tanong ng boss nya.Malamang ay napansin nito ang pananahimik nya at ang pasimpleng pagpahid nya ng luha. "Ah wala po sir...."pagsisinungaling nya.Nakakahiya at nakita pa cya ng Boss nya sa ganoong sitwasyon. Nang makalabas na sila ng ospital ay nag paalam na cya sa boss nya. "Salamat sa paghatid Sir ha...dito nalang po ako mag aabang ng jeep...."balak nya sana mag grab pero sayang din ang pera na pambayad.Pandagdag pa yun sa ipon nya para sa operasyon ng mama nya. "Mahihirapan kang maka uwi nyan...kita mo punuan ang mga jeep?Sumabay ka na sa akin,ihahatid na kita..."alok nito sa kanya. "Naku wag na po Sir!Nakakahiya na talaga! Saka may pupuntahan ka pa malapit dito di ba?" Sandaling napa-isip si Ken..Oo nga pala,yun pala ang alibi nya kanina para pumayag si Jonie na ihatid nya sa ospital. "Ah eh...wala na....tumawag na ang ka meeting ko dito,bukas nalang daw kami mag kita..."pagsisinungaling nito. "Ganun po ba..." "Tara na...ihahatid na kita."sambit ng boss nya.Nagpatiuna na din ito sa paglakad papuntang parking kung nasaan ang sasakyan nito.Hindi na tuloy cya naka hindi.Tinalikuran na cya at naunang sumakay ng kotse. Nahihiya man cya pero sumakay na din.Mahihirapan talaga cya makasakay...Friday pa naman ngayun at araw ng swedo. "Saan ba ang sa inyo?"tanong nito sa kanya ng makasakay na cya. Wala sa sariling binigay nya ang adress ng bahay nya..Iniisip pa din ang sinabi ng doctor kanina. "What happened Jonie?Ano ang sinabi ng doctor tungkol sa kalagayan ng mama mo?" Humikbi sya....ang bigat na kasi ng nararamdaman nya...Bakit kasi wala cyang tatay at mga kapatid?Solo nya lang tuloy ang problema. "K-kailangan daw operahan si Mama.Malaking halaga ang kailangan.Konti palang kasi ang ipon ko,kailangan na daw kasi pigilan ang pagkalat ng cancer sa katawan nya...."tumutulo ang luha na kinukwento nya sa boss.Hindi nya alam kung bakit cya napa-kwento dito....siguro dahil kailangan nyang ilabas ang sakit ng dibdib nya. "Magkano ba kailangan?" "Isang milyon daw po..." "I will give you 1 milyon."Simpleng sabi lang nito sa kanya habang nagda drive. "Naku wag po Sir!Hindi po ako tumatanggap ng abuloy....nakakahiya!!!"utal-utal na tanggi nya. "Hindi ito abuloy...tulong ko sau." "Kahit na Sir!hindi ko kayang bayaran yan sayo!" "Maliit na halaga lang sa akin ang isang milyon." "Oo nga Sir pero hindi ko pa din kayang bayaran yun..."Kahit pa kailangan nya ng pera ay hindi naman cya basta basta lang tatanggap sa boss nya.Hindi cya ganoong tao. "Edi bayaran mo ako sa paraang gusto ko!" Napatingin sya sa Boss nya."P-paano po Sir?" "I'll give you 10 million....be my lover for 3 months." "What!"Napalakas ng boses nya. "Ayaw mo ng abuloy di ba?Ayaw mo din na na tulungan kita,kaya bayaran mo nalang sa paraan ng gusto ko.10 million for your body.Alam ko birhen ka pa kaya kulang ang isang milyon.Gagawin ko sampung milyon pumayag ka lang."Normal lang ang pag sabi nito sa kanya.Parang nanghihingi lang ito ng tinapay.Pero hindi ba nito alam ang kapalit ng hinihingi nito?Buhay at kinabukasan nya ang nakasalalay dito!Masisira ang pagkatao nya kapag pumayag cya! "Pero Sir hindi po ako ganung babae!"Pilit nyang ipinapaintindi dito na iba sya sa mga babaeng nagkakandarapa dito...Iba cya! "Alam ko...kaya nga nagustuhan kita eh.Alam kong iba ka sa mga babaeng pumupunta sa office ko." "P-pero Sir....hindi ko po kaya ang ipapagawa mo sa akin."Hindi nya lubos maisip kung bakit sya nito inalok ng ganun?May nagawa ba cyang pagpapakita ng motibo sa boss nya para gawin nito iyon sa kanya?Sa pagkaka-alam nya ay wala naman.Maingat pa nga cya sa mga galaw nya kapag kaharap ang Boss dahil alam nyang maloko ito sa mga babae.Ayaw nyang matulad sa kanila. "Pag-isipan mo....Para sa Mama mo.Kung ayaw mo ay hindi kita pipilitin." Napayuko cya...hindi nya akalain na ooferan cya ng boss nya ng indecent proposal..Kahit pa wala pa cyang ginagawa ay parang napakababa na ng tingin nya sa sarili nya.Pero paano naman ang Mama nya?papayagan nya bang mamatay nalang ito dahil sa prinsipyo nya?Bubuhayin ba sila ng prinsipyo nya?Lintik!ano ang gagawin nya? Wala na silang pansinan buong byahe.Wala cyang masabi at malamang ay wala na din itong sasabihin sa kanya.Nasabi na nito lahat ang gustong sabihin...nasa kanya nalang ang desisyon.Sa kakaisip nya ay hindi nya namalayan na nasa harap na sila ng bahay nya.Tumigil ito sa harap ng gate nila. "Pag isipan mo Jonie.I want your answer tomorrow morning.Kung hindi ka tatawag bukas ay ibig sabihin hindi ka pumapayag."Sambit nito sa kanya.Hindi pa din ito tumitingin sa kanya...nasa harap lang ito nakatingin.Hindi nya din naman kayang harapin ito ng mata sa mata. Dahan-dahan cyang lumabas ng kotse...walang salitang lumabas sa bibig nya.Kahit nga magpasalamat dahil sa paghatid nito sa kanya ay hindi nya nagawa. Nang makalabas na cya ay tinapunan muna sya nito ng tingin...Nag tama ang kanilang mga mata.Ewan lang pero nakikita nya sa mga mata nito ang pagsusumamo na sana ay pumayag cya sa proposal nito.Ilang segundo pa silang nagka tinginan bago nito ulit paandarin ang makina at nagdrive na palayo sa kanya... KENNETH POV: Lintik!napamura si Ken...wala sa plano nya ang alukin si Jonie ng ganun.Di ba nga off limits si Jonie?Yan ang sabi ng utak nya pero sabi ng puso nya gusto nya ang dalaga.Gusto nya lagi itong nakikita...gusto nya ito lagi sa tabi nya. He wants her...hindi lang bilang sekretarya,gusto nya itong maging kanya!Gusto nya ito ang pagpapa-init sa kanyang kama. Sana ay pumayag si Jonie...kung hindi ay wala na cyang mukhang maihaharap pa sa dalaga.Isang malaking sampal iyon sa kanya!Hanggang bukas ng umaga lang ang palugit nya dito.Ayaw nya na pinaghihintay cya ng matagal. Sa kakaisip nya sa dalaga ay hindi nya namalayan na nasa harap na sya ng gate nila.Pinagbuksan cya ng security guard saka pinasok nya ang sasakyan sa parking. "Good evening po seniorito...kakain po na kayu ng dinner?"Tanong ni Aling Meding na kasambahay nya ng salubungin sya nito. "Hindi na ate...hindi ako gutom." Dumiretso cya ng kwarto,hinubad ang damit at pumunta ng banyo para maligo.Itinuon ang ulo sa baba ng shower.Hinayaan nyang mabasa ang buo nyang katawan.Inalala nya ang tagpo kanina sa office...nakita nya ang panti ni Jonie...parang gusto nyang hawiin ang panti nito at silipin ang nakatagong perlas doon."ahhh..."napaungol cya.Tumayo ang pagkalalaki nya..Lintik! Hinimas nya ang alaga nya."ohhhh...."grabi ang epekto ni Jonie sa kanya...iisipin palang nya ang dalaga ay ang laki na ng epekto nito sa kanya."ahhh...ahhhh...ahhhh..."ungol nya habang pinapaligaya ang sarili. "Jonie....."sambit nya sa pangalan ng dalaga.Lalo nyang binilisan nag pag-akyat baba sa palad nya..hanggang sa labasan cya.."aaahhhh....." Tinapos na nya ang pagligo at lumabas ng banyo..pumasok na naman sa isip nya ang dalaga.Sabado bukas...wala silang work.Sana ay tawagan cya ni Jonie.Sya ang pinaka masayang lalaki kung mangyayari yun.Humiga cya sa kama at pinikit ang mata...nakatulog cyang may ngiti sa labi at pag-asang tatawagan cya ni Jonie bukas at papayag sa alok nya. *** Kinaumagahan ay maaga cyang nagising,tiningnan nya agad ang telepono...wala pang tawag si Jonie sa kanya. Ano ka ba?Alas singko palang ng umaga!Nagmamadali?...Galit nya sa sarili. Lumabas cya ng kwarto para magkape.Panay pa din ang silip nya sa cellphone nya...parang timang lang na naghihintay ng chat o tawag ng dalaga. Pagkatapos nya magkape ay nag gym naman cya.Alas-dyes na ng umaga wala pa din tawag ni Jonie sa kanya.Hindi na cya mapakali...umiinit na ang ulo nya.Gusto nya cya na misno tatawag sa dalaga pero wala cyang contact number nito,sa work lang silang nag-uusap. Tinawagan nya ang isa pa nyang executive secretary na si Alex.Lalaki naman ito...ito ang kasa-kasama nya sa field pag-umaalis cya samantalang si Jonie naman ang in-charge sa office kapag wala cya. "Good morning Sir,may kailangan po ba kayo?"bati ni Alex sa kanya nang tawagan nya.Malamang ay nagulat ito dahil wala naman silang pasok sa araw na yun. "Ahm..may personal number ka ba ni Jonie?"Nag-aalangan cyang sabihin iyon,alam kasi nito na hindi sya nanghihingi ng personal number ng mga empleyado."May nakalimutan lang akong ibilin sa kanya."Pagdadahilan nya. "Ano po ba yun Sir?"gusto nyo ako na po ang magsasabi sa kanya?" "No!..ako na." "Ah..okay sige po sir,I'll text you her number."alam nyang nagdududa na ito sa kinikilos nya pero hindi cya magpapahalata.Pagkababa nya ng telepono ay nakatanggap agad cya ng text galing kay Alex...number iyon ni Jonie..Lihim cyang napangiti. Dinayal nya ang telepono ni Jonie...nang magring ito ng isang beses ay agad nyang pinatay.Bigla cyang natauhan...hindi cya dapat ang tatawag kay Jonie kundi ang dalaga.Hindi nya iba-bargain ang sarili nya para sa isang babae!Si Jonie dapat ang lalapit sa kanya at hindi cya!...Kailangan cya ng dalaga kaya sigurado cyang tatawag ito sa kanya. Lintik!!!ang pinaka-ayaw nya talaga sa lahat ay ang pinaghihintay cya!Dumating na ang alas-dose pero wala talaga tawag ang dalaga sa kanya.Bigla cyang nalungkot.Natapos na ang palugit nya sa dalaga...hindi talaga cya gusto ni Jonie...masakit iyon para sa kanya. Biglang tumigas ang ekspresyon ng mukha nya.Ngayon palang cya napahiya sa babae ng ganito...at sa sekretarya pa nya!Bakit sino ba cya?galit na wika nya sa sarili.Kinuha nya ang cellphone at tinawagan si Anne,dito nya ibubuhos ang galit nya ky Jonie. "Hello Ann...are you free today?"wika nya "Hi pogi!mabuti naman at naisipan mo akong tawagan?" "Can we meet?"Sambit nya.Hindi nya sinagot ang tanong nito...kinansel nya kasi ang pagkikita nila dapat ni Ann kahapon dahil na din kay Jonie.Alam nyang susumbatan lang sya nito...Sinabi nya kung saan sila magkikita at pinatay ang telepono. Pumasok na sya ng kwarto at nagbihis.Galit pa din cya...kailangan nyang ma-divert ang atensyon nya kay Jonie.Hindi nya matanggap na binale-wala cya nito!Galit na galit cya...hindi kaya ng pride nya ang ginawa ng dalaga sa kanya.Pagkatapos nyang magbihis ay pumunta na sya ng kotse at pinaharurut iyon palayo..Pupunta sya sa meeting place nila ni Ann. Nauna na cya sa hotel kung saan sila magme-meet ni Ann.Maya-maya pa ay may kumatok na sa hotel room nya.Pagbukas nya ay si Ann iyon.Siniil nya agad ito ng halik...hindi na nya binigyan ng pagkakataon ang babae...dali-dali nyang hinubad ang damit ng dalaga...	LEARN_MORE	https://bioplm.com/market/goodnovel/1?lpid=12380&u	Philip Spicy Reading	https://www.facebook.com/61561349855790/	54,469	1969-12-31 18:00	Learn more	bioplm.com	VIDEO	💑🔞Tumakbo siya palayo sa kanya at hinabol siya, hindi makakalipad nang walang pakpak😍💘	https://bioplm.com/market/goodnovel/1?lpid=12380&utm_campaign={{campaign.name}}&utm_content={{campaign.id}}&adset_name={{adset.name}}&adset_id={{adset.id}}&ad_id={{ad.id}}&ad_name={{ad.name}}&placement={{placement}}	1969-12-31 18:00	https://scontent-iad3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.35426-6/466774243_871133378513378_2218929530500252631_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s60x60_tt6&_nc_cat=111&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=c53f8f&_nc_ohc=g41VFPM-RlAQ7kNvgH8tf64&_nc_zt=14&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-2.xx&_nc_gid=AHpwQdHxHYHp-ZyH_Vpb5UF&oh=00_AYDTZNfSeeBYN1I14KbpYST7vyLCvnvRLlESzrjaBvwFxg&oe=6761574F	PERSON_PROFILE	Philip Spicy Reading	1969-12-31 18:00	View Edit Delete
2,645,012	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) '{"alias":2644615}'	No	2024-12-12 18:30	active	1996	❤️😍Can't wait to read more👉	🔞Attention! Do not read in public！👉	LEARN_MORE	https://shgjfh.com/market/goodnovel/1?lpid=13853&u	Random Reading	https://www.facebook.com/61559743679549/	321	1969-12-31 18:00	Learn More	https://shgjfh.com/market/goodnovel/1?lpid=13853&u...	CAROUSEL	🔞Attention! Do not read in public！👉	https://shgjfh.com/market/goodnovel/1?lpid=13853&utm_campaign={{campaign.name}}&utm_content={{campaign.id}}&adset_name={{adset.name}}&adset_id={{adset.id}}&ad_id={{ad.id}}&ad_name={{ad.name}}&placement={{placement}}	1969-12-31 18:00	https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.35426-6/465169516_1259818645301512_7718910771256407974_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s60x60_tt6&_nc_cat=108&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=c53f8f&_nc_ohc=qWgFBLZyf-IQ7kNvgHfc5xa&_nc_zt=14&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-1.xx&_nc_gid=AHpwQdHxHYHp-ZyH_Vpb5UF&oh=00_AYC-wJu_cZ0cO-0f4o7T3VzhRdfAcxsaB2wf4PrX7ZuayA&oe=67615C37	PERSON_PROFILE	Random Reading	1969-12-31 18:00	View Edit Delete

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