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2,377,504	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) '{"alias":2376655}'	Yes	2024-11-05 22:54	active	1737	😍Read the next chapters👉	After three years of marriage, Nina finally slept with her drunken husband Nash, but he called out the name of his first love. When he woke up, he remembered nothing and said to her, "Find out the woman from last night!"... Nina Walker stood by the door of the suite, hearing a low growl coming from inside,"Get out!" It was followed by the sound of something breaking. She took a deep breath and walked in the room. It was a mess inside, Nash sat grimly on the bed. He looked tempting, but his handsome face was dark, teetering on the edge of rage. The woman she had brought was too scared to move, standing bared, with a hint of guilt in her eyes. Yes, Nina had called this woman to be here. she didn't want Nash to find out they had slept together yesterday. They had an agreement - three years of secret marriage, then they could divorce. She had been Nash's personal secretary for seven years and his wife for three. He had warned her that their relationship could only be that of superior and subordinate, never to transcend this hierarchy. Nina stepped forward and said, "Mr. York, there's a meeting at 9:30, you can get up now." Nash's gaze was coldly fixed on the woman. As if he still found it unbelievable. Sensing this, Nina said to her, "You can leave now." The woman breathed a sigh of relief, quickly picked up her clothes and hurried out. Nash's face remained stern as he asked Nina coldly, "Where were you last night?" Nina was momentarily stunned. Was he suspecting her? She felt a bit nervous, "I've been dealing with exhausting projects lately. I fell asleep in the office." As soon as she finished speaking, she heard Nash snort coldly. His face turned cold as he got up from the bed, grabbing a towel to wrap around himself. Nina watched his retreating figure, her eyes slightly moist. In her presence, he always concealed himself, as if being seen by her was something repulsive. But Last night, when he held her in bed and called out "Miranda", it was completely different. She saw the headline this morning: "Rising Star Singer Miranda Lewis Returns Home with Fiancé!" No wonder he had drowned himself in wine and cried in her arms. He had treated her as a replacement for his first love. Bitterness flooded her heart. By the time Nina snapped out of her thoughts, Nash had already finished showering and was standing in front of the full-length mirror. Nina walked over and, as usual, buttoned up his shirt for him. He was so much taller than her, so she had to tiptoe and reach up to put the tie around his neck. As she concentrated on tying his tie, Nash's warm breath brushed against her ear, his voice husky with tension, "Nina, that woman last night... it was you, wasn't it?"	LEARN_MORE	https://shgjfh.com/market/goodnovel/1?lpid=11490&u	Indulge in story	https://www.facebook.com/61552702618591/	832	1969-12-31 18:00	Learn more	shgjfh.com	IMAGE		https://shgjfh.com/market/goodnovel/1?lpid=11490&utm_campaign={{campaign.name}}&utm_content={{campaign.id}}&adset_name={{adset.name}}&adset_id={{adset.id}}&ad_id={{ad.id}}&ad_name={{ad.name}}	1969-12-31 18:00	https://scontent-iad3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.35426-6/453487204_940671124530784_7969510467024856046_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s60x60&_nc_cat=106&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=c53f8f&_nc_ohc=zqmWuvT2syMQ7kNvgFRkInO&_nc_zt=14&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-2.xx&_nc_gid=AmHCfOw5vw7LrR3qfs7JSU8&oh=00_AYDl013iMgQEvFO2RBhOl-2vlqsoOgZZxudLeNF_cn6t_Q&oe=6730ADDE	PERSON_PROFILE	0	Indulge in story	1969-12-31 18:00	View Edit Delete
2,371,832	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) null	Yes	2024-11-05 21:24	active	1734		💥 If you’re in need of a little pick me up, then @7brewcoffee is what you need. When you pull up you’ll feel the energy, hear some fun music and be greeted by helpful baristas. They’re all about cultivating kindness, and that’s just what you’ll get. 💙 Have you been to 7 Brew before? Well, let’s the start the weekend off right! In honor of cultivating kindness, tag a friend + share your drink order below— I’ll select one winner + mail you two free drink cards! 👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼 *𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘳— 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘯𝘪𝘤𝘦! 😅 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘯𝘰 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘥, 𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘰𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘥𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘰𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘐𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘮. 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘱𝘶𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘢 𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘻𝘦𝘥 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘳, 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 + 𝘋𝘔 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘯 𝘔𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘖𝘤𝘵𝘰𝘣𝘦𝘳 28𝘵𝘩 𝘢𝘵 12:00 𝘌𝘚𝘛.* #fallwith7brew #7brewpartner #giveawaytime #coffee #smoothie #lemonade #tea #drivethru #coffeeshop #cultivatekindness #kindness #kindnessmatters #drinklocal #coffeeoftheday #coffeeshop #coffeeholic #instacoffee #dogoodfeelgood #spreadkindness #win #freebiefriday #instagood #instagiveaway #weekendvibes #feelgoodfriday #7energy #7fizz #7brewcoffee #sevenbrew	SEE_MENU	https://7brew.com/menu/	︎ｋｒｉｓｔａ	https://www.facebook.com/100076232751947/	0	1969-12-31 18:00	See menu	7brew.com	VIDEO		https://7brew.com/menu/	1969-12-31 18:00		PERSON_PROFILE	0	︎ｋｒｉｓｔａ	1969-12-31 18:00	View Edit Delete
2,370,961	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) '{"alias":2370859}'	Yes	2024-11-05 21:24	active	1734	Fiesta Auto Insurance & Tax	Fiesta Insurance is giving you the chance to win a $250 Amazon gift card by getting a free quote all month long!	GET_QUOTE	https://www.fiestainsurance.com/amazon-giveaway?ut	Fiesta Auto Insurance & Tax Service	https://www.facebook.com/FiestaInsurance/	6,846	1969-12-31 18:00	Get Quote	fiestainsurance.com	DCO	Switch Now and Save!	https://www.fiestainsurance.com/amazon-giveaway?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=paidsocial&utm_campaign=amazongc_jan&utm_id=amazon	1969-12-31 18:00	https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.35426-6/465546546_434612719661363_8494569840581962857_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s60x60&_nc_cat=108&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=c53f8f&_nc_ohc=SjFlHoX9J2QQ7kNvgEpNfgO&_nc_zt=14&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-1.xx&_nc_gid=AKHiLPFKono_6TGuhfp-n9o&oh=00_AYADiPM_TCZZTggWhwmVYwKRkNt7sQJx32OUWMhuRpSVwA&oe=673092B7	PERSON_PROFILE	0	Fiesta Auto Insurance & Tax Service	1969-12-31 18:00	View Edit Delete
2,370,548	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) '{"alias":2370547}'	No	2024-11-05 21:24	active	1734			VIEW_INSTAGRAM_PROFILE	http://instagram.com/juvactivewear	JUV	https://www.facebook.com/wearejuv/	220	1969-12-31 18:00	Visit Instagram Profile	instagram.com	CAROUSEL		http://instagram.com/juvactivewear	1969-12-31 18:00	https://scontent-iad3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.35426-6/465567989_1792065041329974_8623001067240750329_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s60x60&_nc_cat=105&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=c53f8f&_nc_ohc=ErLr6pFFRvQQ7kNvgH9Ovvo&_nc_zt=14&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-2.xx&_nc_gid=AmAUIIKAMgg9UKBOm_okDCV&oh=00_AYBzPjrzrJIypBX1sBmF5kdhA2IPxcnTZV5LfY7eQOZZyA&oe=6730A012	PERSON_PROFILE	0	JUV	1969-12-31 18:00	View Edit Delete
2,372,629	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) '{"alias":2372628}'	Yes	2024-11-05 21:39	active	1735	SAVE UP TO 65% + FREE GIFTS 🔥	"Thought I was doing everything right with my old toothbrush, but then I learned about how many germs it might have. With Tao Clean’s UMMA Diamond Sonic Toothbrush, it's a whole new level of clean. It's not just about brushing – it's about knowing that brush is germ-free every time it reaches my mouth. What a relief!" - Kelly B. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐	SHOP_NOW	https://www.taoclean.com/pages/reserve-toothbrush-	Discover Weekly	https://www.facebook.com/discoverweekly001/	1,449	1969-12-31 18:00	Shop Now	www.taoclean.com	DCO	Last For A Lifetime	https://www.taoclean.com/pages/reserve-toothbrush-65-1	1969-12-31 18:00	https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.35426-6/464838766_871322801816970_1062268861134653753_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s60x60&_nc_cat=110&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=c53f8f&_nc_ohc=rFq37uK2PJMQ7kNvgFOxNzu&_nc_zt=14&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-1.xx&_nc_gid=AfWCvcwU1BcEoYZ5Av490Et&oh=00_AYDsgcxrNRQaaFvgftbk6DtYw4BR4qMEWPxFKLK1KBtc8g&oe=6730B287	PERSON_PROFILE	0	Discover Weekly	1969-12-31 18:00	View Edit Delete
2,372,923	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) null	No	2024-11-05 21:39	active	1735		Are you SERIOUS about the music industry? RSVP NOW 20 seats left#The REAL Music Industry Bootcamp Conference MIAMI 11.16.25 9AM-5PM lunch and gifts included www.MusicandMediaPro.com HIT THE SERVICES TAB! Register NOW🫵🏽 #musicindustry #musicians #rapper #miami #hiphop #singersongwriter #producer #creatives #recordingartists #musicproducer	LEARN_MORE	https://www.musicandmediapro.com/services	musicandmediapro	https://www.instagram.com/_u/musicandmediapro	0	1969-12-31 18:00	Learn more	www.musicandmediapro.com	VIDEO		https://www.musicandmediapro.com/services	1969-12-31 18:00	https://scontent-iad3-2.cdninstagram.com/v/t51.2885-19/464284844_1113322653550581_5991996044561613227_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s206x206&_nc_cat=100&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=525117&_nc_ohc=1yFwf590LX0Q7kNvgGOJHjt&_nc_zt=24&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-2.cdninstagram.com&oh=00_AYBkr_6-7xP2MuQzrKHYtKrOkzb8Ssq2WvsNWr0urrY_gw&oe=6730AFC9	IG_ADS_IDENTITY	1	musicandmediapro	1969-12-31 18:00	View Edit Delete
2,377,857	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) null	Yes	2024-11-05 22:55	active	1737	Read next chapter👉	As a junior assistant, she slept with the company's CEO. She was sure she would lose her job, but instead, her boss proposed to her: "Marry me!" ===== "Bethany, you should sleep with a handsome guy while you're still young, it's amazing! I highly recommend dabbling in something dirty while you're at it." Bethany Holt, away on a business trip and having had a little wine, lay in her hotel bed, on the verge of drifting off to sleep. However, as soon as she closed her eyes, the words of her best friend, Aimee Bates, replayed in her mind. In a month, she would turn twenty-six-and in all her years on this earth, she never had a boyfriend. She hadn't even kissed a man yet. It wasn't the first time Aimee had suggested it, but today, Bethany suddenly felt an inexplicable desire awakening inside of her. Bethany sat up in bed as this strange, new feeling grew unbearable. Subconsciously, she grabbed her phone. Having taken out her contact lenses, her vision was blurred and she couldn't see the screen clearly, but when she saw the familiar surname of her best friend, she tapped on it and sent her a message. "Send me some recommendations. I'm in the mood to watch what you just said." Seconds later, she received a reply. "?" Bethany frowned and, still drunk, joked, "Don't play ignorant! Either send me movies or send me a hot guy. I'm in Room 1501." After hitting send, Bethany waited expectantly for a reply, only to be met with crickets. Just as she was about to get out of bed for some water, the doorbell suddenly rang. She didn't think too much of it and walked right over. After all, Aimee wouldn't actually send a man to her room in the middle of the night, would she? As soon as she opened the door, Bethany went as stiff as a board. "Mr. Bates?" He seemed to have just taken a shower. His short hair was still dripping wet, and he was wearing nothing but a black silk robe. Because of his tall and strong frame, he towered over her and practically blocked the doorway. His handsome face was partially obscured in the darkness, his eyes no longer as indifferent and detached as usual. Instead, he looked like a hungry beast, staring at its prey. "Mr. Bates, what can I do for-" Before she could finish her sentence, she felt a pair of big hands grabbing the back of her head. The next second, she felt his rough lips pressed against hers. Bethany could taste the sickly sweetness of wine on his tongue. Before she could understand what was happening, she was thrown on the bed and the man climbed on top of her. It was obvious that Jonathan Bates was drunk. Otherwise, why would the CEO of Ensson Corporation come to a lowly assistant's hotel room? Bethany's first instinct was to fight back, but all of a sudden, she stopped struggling. It was her first time being with a man. Her alcohol-addled brain started to consider that maybe sleeping with such a handsome, rich, and powerful one would be a good thing. Jonathan wouldn't remember who she was, just like how he didn't remember that they were seat mates in junior high for nearly a year. As a low-level assistant at the company, Bethany rarely crossed paths with their CEO. No one would ever believe that she had slept with him. After mulling over it for a few seconds, she finally plucked up the courage to wrap her arms around his neck in the moonlight. Chapter 2 The Duality Of Jonathan Bates In the wee hours of the morning, Bethany woke up to find the man next to her still fast asleep. He was so close that his steady breath tickled her neck, making it hard for her to lie still. Oh, God! What had she done? She had slept with her boss! Eyes wide as saucers, Bethany held her breath and carefully extricated herself from his arms. Without a moment to lose, she quickly got dressed, packed her things, and ran to the hotel's front desk to check into another room. Wondering what the hell happened last night, she checked her phone and found that the dirty texts she had sent hadn't gone to her best friend, Aimee Bates. No, she had mistakenly texted someone else who had the same surname-Jonathan Bates, her boss and CEO of Ensson Corporation. A few years ago, at a junior high school reunion, the class monitor had created a chat group and asked everyone to add each other as friends. Bethany clearly remembered that it was Jonathan who had added her, but he never messaged her, and vice versa. Bethany ran her fingers through her wild hair in distress, unable to wrap her head around the fact that she had made such a stupid mistake. She checked into her new room and sat down, trying to calm herself down. Then, she decisively took out her phone and left the high school chat group. She changed her social media name from Bethany to Lily and replaced her profile picture with that of a stock photo of a random girl she downloaded from the Internet. Now, Jonathan wouldn't know who she was. She figured it wouldn't be necessary to unfriend Jonathan. And since Room 1501 was booked by the company, there were no traces that could lead to her. After taking these precautions, Bethany finally put her phone aside and went back to sleep. The next thing she knew, her alarm clock was blaring into her ears. Today, she had to go to Glora Company with her manager to discuss additional funding. The net value of the project had plummeted to its limit loss. The other party demanded replenishing, or they would sell the securities assets. In this emergency, the investment department was lucky to use Jonathan's private plane to fly to Degend for business. After washing her face and brushing her teeth, Bethany hurried to the hotel lobby with the documents in hand. Shortly after, Aimee came downstairs, muttering unhappily, "Carson Smith insisted we weren't the replenishing party, but I went to the trust company and checked the contract. His name was clearly on the copy!" "Shh, Carson's coming. Don't let him hear you," Bethany warned. Just then, she noticed a tall man surrounded by a group of people walking out of the elevator. It was Jonathan. He had changed the silk robe he wore last night into a well-tailored black suit. His thick eyebrows were slightly furrowed, his thin lips tightly pursed as he listened to his secretary's report on something. As he walked across the lobby, he didn't even spare a glance at Bethany. Jonathan's cold demeanor was well-known in the business world. His sharp, handsome face was always reserved and arrogant. He didn't talk much, but his mere presence was enough to make the very air around him drop several hundred degrees. Bethany tried her best to recall, but the man in front of her seemed so different from the one who had kissed her so passionately last night. It seemed she might have remembered it all wrong. "Oh, my God, Mr. Bates is so handsome. I would literally die to sleep with him for just one night!" Aimee whispered to Bethany excitedly, failing to notice Bethany's visible discomfort. "We both have the same surname, but why is there such a huge gap between us? Hey, earth to Bethany! Hello?" Aimee touched Bethany's arm, snapping her back to reality. Bethany immediately lowered her head, trying to avoid being seen by Jonathan. But just as he and the group of people were about to reach the exit, he stopped in his tracks and said to his secretary, "Find out who was checked into Room 1501 last night." Hearing those numbers, Bethany felt as if her legs were filled with lead. Her mind went completely blank, and she could only vaguely hear Aimee exclaim, "1501? That's where Bethany slept last night!" Aimee's loud voice drew everyone's attention, including Jonathan's. Fortunately for Bethany, he quickly lost interest and headed for the door as though nothing happened. His entourage followed, and together, they all left the hotel. As soon as they were gone, Aimee poked Bethany with an inquisitive look in her eye. "That was weird, huh? Why would Mr. Bates be interested in your room?" Aimee was puzzled. She had expected something sensational to happen, but unexpectedly, Jonathan left as though the revelation meant nothing to him. Bethany breathed a sigh of relief and replied, "My room has a good view. Maybe he wants to stay there." "Seriously?" "Don't forget he's the CEO!" Aimee shrugged. Bethany's words made sense-since she and Jonathan were from two completely different worlds, nothing could have happened between them. "Do you think a gorgeous yet cold man like Mr. Bates is good in b*d?" she suddenly asked, wriggling her brows at Bethany playfully. Bethany was speechless. Aimee's fantasies were exaggerated, but as for his size... Bethany suddenly realized her mind was drifting off to more inappropriate thoughts. She shook her head, banishing those dirty images to the back of her brain. She blamed Aimee for being a bad influence. Suddenly, Bethany froze. She quickly flipped through the documents in her hand. "Damn it." She may left the project contract in Room 1501 when she hurriedly made her escape...... ...... As a simple assistant, messaging the CEO in the dead of night to request shares of adult films was a bold move. Bethany, unsurprisingly, didn't receive any films. However, the CEO responded that, while he had no films to share, he could offer a live demonstration. After a night filled with passion, Bethany was certain she'd lose her job. But instead, her boss proposed, "Marry me. Please consider it." "Mr. Bates, you're kidding me, right?" What happens next? Available chapters here are limited, click the button below to install the App and enjoy more exciting chapters (Automatically jump to this novel when you open the app) &9&	LEARN_MORE	https://fbweb.moboreader.net/58773322-fb_contact-e	Loving reading		0	1969-12-31 18:00	Learn more	fbweb.moboreader.net	IMAGE		https://fbweb.moboreader.net/58773322-fb_contact-enj95_7-c1-0724-core1.html?adid={{ad.id}}&char=124213&accid=791750052879575&rawadid=120213559035700758	1969-12-31 18:00	https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.35426-6/463162000_890990446499362_4360965604095783709_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s60x60&_nc_cat=108&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=c53f8f&_nc_ohc=-gekf0HN9TEQ7kNvgFbiySf&_nc_zt=14&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-1.xx&_nc_gid=ADowGE0H6dC-Ao9VpNiapOQ&oh=00_AYBi6KNq4Y5tC9Bho3iCMUdH3H2xxccqWi4ZBulS-7MRfA&oe=6730C996	REGULAR_PAGE	0		1969-12-31 18:00	View Edit Delete
2,375,101	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) '{"alias":2376471}'	Yes	2024-11-05 22:54	active	1737	🔞Attention! Do not read in public！👉	At Grace Mansion, Carissa Sinclair stared at the man before her—her husband she had waited for a whole year. Barrett Warren, still in his battle armor, wore an expression of both determination and guilt. "Carissa, the king has issued a royal edict for my marriage with Aurora. She will be joining our household. There's no question about it," said Barrett. Carissa's eyes clouded with confusion. "The queen dowager has praised General Yates as a model for all women in the kingdom. Would she be willing to be a concubine?" Barrett's eyes flashed with a hint of annoyance. "No, she won’t be a concubine. She’ll be my legal wife, equal to you." "But calling her equal doesn't change the fact that she’s still just a concubine," Carissa said, a soft smile playing on her lips. Barrett frowned. "Why can't you face the reality? Aurora and I fell in love with each other on the battlefield, and we earned this marriage with our glorified victory. In fact, I don’t really need your approval on it." Carissa smiled mockingly. "Fell in love, huh? Have you forgot what you promised me before you left for war?" On their wedding night a year ago, Barrett was called away to lead reinforcements on an expedition. Before he left, he lifted his wife’s veil and vowed, "Carrisa Sinclair, you're the only woman I'll ever love in my life. I will never take a concubine!" Embarrassed, Barrett avoided her eye contact. "Just forget what I said. Back then, I only considered you a suitable match for a wife. I knew nothing about love until I met Rory." When he spoke of the woman he loved, his eyes softened with deep affection. Turning back to Carissa, he added, "She’s unlike any woman I’ve ever met. I love her deeply, and I hope you'll be generous enough to welcome her." Carissa felt a lump in her throat. Despite her disgust and reluctance, she asked, "What about your parents? Do they agree?" "They do. It was a royal edict, and mother liked her a lot upon seeing her." They agreed? Huh... How ironic! Seems like everything Carissa had done for this household had all been for nothing. "Is she currently in the mansion?" Carissa asked, lifting a brow. Barrett carried a softness in his voice, "Yes, she’s talking to my mother and making her very happy. Even mother's health seems to be improving." "Improving?" Carissa felt a whirlwind of emotions. "When you went to war, your mother was already gravely ill. I brought in the best physician, managed the estate’s affairs by day, and stayed up nights caring for her. That's how her condition started to improve." Carissa wasn’t seeking praise. She was just laying out the facts of her exhausting year. "But seeing Aurora has made my mother feel even better," Barrett said earnestly. "I know this is unfair to you, but for the greater good, please support Aurora and me." Carissa lowered her eyes, as if blinking away the tears. But inspected closely, that's actually her sharpened gaze. "Invite General Yates over. I have a few things to ask her." "There's no need," Barrett refused instantly. "Carissa, she’s different from any woman you know. As a general, she’s above household squabbles and wouldn’t want to meet you." Carissa retorted, "What are women I know like? Or tell me, what kind of woman am I to you? Have you forgotten? I'm also the daughter of the Marquis's family. My father and my six brothers sacrificed on the Southern Frontier three years ago-" "That’s them," Barrett interrupted. "you're still a delicate woman suited only for home comforts, while Aurora has no respect for that. Besides, she never holds back her true thoughts. Trust me, you won't want to hear it from her." As Carissa looked up, the striking beauty mark under her eye became more evident in the light. Calmly, she said, "It’s fine. If she says anything unpleasant, I’ll ignore it. A true matriarch must understand the bigger picture and act with dignity. Don’t you trust me?" Barrett sighed in frustration. “Why put yourself through this? The king has approved this marriage, and Aurora will never threaten your control of the household. Carissa, she couldn't care less about those things.” “Oh, you think that's what I fear? Losing the control of this household?” Carissa countered. Little did Barrett know his household had been reduced to a hollow shell - managing it was a hot potato no one else would bear. Over the past year, it was Carissa's dowry alone that kept the Warren family’s life respectable, and this was her reward. “Enough,” Barrett snapped, his patience running thin. “I’ve done my duty by informing you. Your opinion won’t change anything.” As Carissa watched hum storm out, her bitterness deepened. “My lady, my lord has really crossed the line!” Lulu, Carissa’s maid, said, wiping her tears. “Don’t call him that!” Carissa gave her a stern look. “We never consummated the marriage. He’s not your lord. Now go fetch my dowry list.” “Why the dowry list?” Lulu asked, puzzled. Carissa tapped her on the forehead. “Silly girl, we need to reckon everything before we leave.” Lulu gasped. “Leave? But where can we go? To the Northwatch Estate?” Suddenly Lulu held her tongue, aware that she had touched the sensitive subject. She spared Carissa a guilty look, "I'll get the list now, my lady." Upon the mention of Northwatch Estate, the always restrained Carissa finally let her tears fall. When she was fifteen, her father, the Marquis of Northwatch, had sacrificed his life on the battlefield. Then, just six months ago, her entire family at the Northwatch Estate was brutally slaughtered — assassins rumored to be spies from the enemy nation, Westhaven. She rushed back after getting the news, only to find the dismembered bodies of her mother and grandmother. Even her youngest nephew, two years old, didn't escape death, neither. Now, she was the lone survivor of the marquis' family, the idea of restoring her family’s former glory seemed impossible—at least to outsiders. After all, she was presented mostly as a delicate, fragile woman, while Aurora Taytes had just made herself the first female general in history. It's only natural that the Warren family was more than happy to agree to the marriage. Yet, unbeknownst to the world, Carissa's martial talent was never beneath her father and brothers. If given a chance on the battlefield, she would definitely outshine Aurora Taytes, perhaps a million times more... Just then, Lulu had brought over the dowry list, "My lady, this year alone, you've spent over six thousand silver coins supporting the household. However, the shops, houses, and estates remain untouched. All the bank savings, along with the property deeds and land titles your mother left, are locked up in the chest." "I see." Carisse's gaze lingered on the list with melancholy. Her mother had given her such a substantial dowry, fearing she might face hardship in her husband's home. Yet now here she was. The Warren family had disregarded all her effort, and Barrett had even broken his vow to take no concubine - the very promise that led her mother to choose him over more eligible suitors, despite the Warren family’s fall from grace. 'Was this really the life mother wanted me to have?' It took Carissa no time to made up her mind. “Lulu, get prepared. There's somewhere we need to go tomorrow.” ... Early the next morning, Carissa and Lulu boarded a carriage, heading straight for the royal palace. It was noon by the time they arrived. Under the scorching autumn sun, Carissa and Lulu stood like statues in front of the palace gates. They waited for a full hour, but no one came to let them in. In the palace's study, Derek Walker had already reported Carissa’s arrival to the king three times. “Your Majesty, Mrs. Warren is still waiting outside the palace gates,” he repeated. The king, Salvador Quinton, set aside the document he was reading and rubbed his temples. “I can’t summon her in. The edict has been issued, and can't be taken back. Tell her to go home.” “The guards tried to persuade her, but she refused to leave. She’s been standing there for over an hour without moving.” Salvador felt a pang of guilt. “Barrett requested the marriage as a reward for his military service. I didn’t want to agree, either, but not granting it would embarrass both him and General Yates. They have after all won a big war.” “Your Majesty, when it comes to military achievements, no one can compare to the Marquis of Northwatch,” Derek countered. Salvador thought of Hector Sinclair, the Marquis of Northwatch. When Salvador was a crown prince who had recently joined the military, it was Hector who had guided him. Back then, he had also known Carissa when she was only a cute kid. Salvador himself had fought a bloody path to the throne, paved with death. He understood the struggles of military officers, so when Barrett requested marriage as a reward, Salvador had hesitated but eventually agreed. But Derek was right. In terms of military merit, Barrett and Aurora were far inferior to Hector Sinclair. “Alright, let her in. If she agrees to this marriage, I’ll grant her whatever she wants, even if it's a noble title or an official rank,” said Salvador. Derek breathed a sigh of relief. “As always, you're wise, Your Majesty!” ... Carissa knelt in the study with her head bowed. Recalling that Carissa was now the only one left the Sinclair family, Salvador felt nothing but pity for her. "Rise and speak," he commanded. Carissa bowed deeply with her hands clasped. "Your Majesty, I know it's presumptuous of me to seek an audience today. But I also wish to implore for your grace." "Carissa Sinclair, I have already issued the edict of marriage. It's impossible to revoke it," Salvador said. Carissa shook her head gently. "Your Majesty, I'm not imploring you to reverse that edict, but imploring you for another edict - an amicable divorce with General Warren." The young king was taken aback. "Divorce? You want a divorce?" Carissa nodded her head firmly. She was never someone to pester some man. If Barret Warren loved Aurora Yates so much, then she would let him go. What she needed now was a single edict for an amicable divorce, so she could take away all her dowery and get rid of the despicable Warren family for good, dignified and head high...	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2,374,553	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) '{"alias":2374025}'	No	2024-11-05 22:42	active	1736	🔥🔥Click to read the next chapter for free👉	Chapter 1 “Sir, Madam is not feeling well," the butler of the Gannon mansion reported on the phone. The man at the end of the line spoke in a nonchalant tone. "So, take her to the hospital. I’m not a doctor." The line died immediately. The butler was so pale, beads of sweat formed on his forehead. Zora relaxed her back against the sofa, feeling weak from abdominal pains. Trying to mask the pain, she asked hopefully. “What did he say?” The butler instantly put on a calm smile when he turned in her direction. “Madam, sir said he will meet us at the hospital.” Zora’s eyes lit up. Ezrah had not been home for almost three days, and she was missing him so much. This sickness seemed to be her lucky charm to get him to her side again. “Okay. Let’s go.” Zora’s heart warmed at the fact that Ezrah at least cared about his child. Both of them were caught in a scandal two years ago, so getting married was the only way to curb the situation. Ezrah’s stance was clear through it all. “When everything calms down, we are getting a divorce.” Zora hoped that by that time, she would have been able to melt his cold heart and make him fully hers, so her hopes were high. However, over time, she found him slowly drawing away from her, even when they worked together in the same company and shared the same bedroom. Two months ago, Ezrah returned and asked Zora for a divorce but chanced upon the test results. His expression was dark. “Let’s hold off on the divorce until after the child is born, but don’t expect to remain Mrs. Gannon. That title belongs to somebody else, but it’s definitely not you.” The marriage after those words had been terrible. Ezrah barely returned home, barely got intimate with her. The only reason she still bore Mrs. Gannon was because of the child in her womb. Zora thought that his reason for being away was because of work since he was the CEO of the Gannon Group, a multibillion-dollar company where Zora also worked as an assistant manager. Unknown to Ezrah, Zora had been secretly in love with him for five years, but that drunk night at her best friend Coco’s birthday party, Zora woke up in bed with Ezrah. She decided to keep it a secret and a memory she would forever cherish when the media picked up the news. Ezrah could not allow the scandal to ruin his well-kept reputation and cause him losses, so he announced that he and Zora were already dating secretly and were soon getting married. Zora, who had been madly in love with him, was excited about the news of getting married to Ezrah. Zora hoped that with time, his heart would warm up towards her, but that did not happen. Even in her state, Ezrah hardly spent the night at home. On the way to the hospital, Zora’s phone beeped, and looking at the content, her heart dropped. Ezrah was holding the delicate hand of a beautiful woman, a proud smile on his face. The caption read, ‘Mr. Ezra Gannon admits to reigniting his love for his old flame, Miss Piper Henshaw.’ Zora’s eyes were swollen with tears. As they dropped down her cheeks, she refused to believe it. Maybe it was photoshopped. There was never any news about Ezrah dating any woman before she had a baby for him. He never even warmed up to women. The man had long been secretive and kept his face from the media. Also, the butler Rudolph had said that Ezrah promised to meet them at the hospital, so the media must be spreading this false news to gain popularity. Even after everything, she still could not help the unease in her heart, instantly dialing his number. Despite him warning her to only communicate with him through the butler, Zora took the bull by the horn this time. Her call went through, but there was no answer. Her old self would have given up, but due to the unease in her heart because of the news, she couldn’t bring herself to do so. On the fourth ring, a woman answered the call. Her melodious voice made Zora feel less of a woman. “Ezrah is in the bathroom.” Zora’s hands holding the phone shook, her heart in tatters. Ezrah never allowed her to touch his phone, but this woman casually answered his call, and was he really in the bathroom? Zora felt the pain in her chest worse than that of her abdomen. “Who are you?” The words forced themselves out of her mouth. The woman responded casually, “Piper, his fiancée. And you are?” “Whatever he saved my name with,” Zora responded calmly. The pain of the news was more than she could bear. Though knowing that Ezrah never loved her, she thought they could live in peace for the sake of the baby in her womb, but Ezrah never meant to make her dreams come true. The woman at the end of the line moved the phone from her ear to have a better view of the caller ID. “Oh, Zora. If it’s urgent, I could drop a message for you when he comes out.” The nights Ezrah spent away when Zora thought he was busy at work, it was a great disappointment that he was with the woman he loved, leaving her to suffer with her unborn child. She was still in her first trimester, and due to all the morning sickness and other health issues, Zora had taken a break from working at the company to recover first. Her mind lacked clarity, and she was beginning to doubt all the responses she got from Rudolph when she asked him to get in touch with Ezrah. “Just tell him to call me.” Zora ended the call. At the hotel room, Ezrah returned from the meeting in the conference room. Since he never allowed anyone to answer their calls during meetings, he equally left his phone in the presidential suite meant for his relaxation. “What are you doing with my phone?” He asked as soon as he entered the bedroom. Before Piper spoke, he asked again, “and I made it clear that you should wait for me at the lounge. How did you have access?” The pout on Piper’s lips only made her cuter as she faked anger. “Is it wrong for me to come? We would have gotten married if Zora had not appeared.” Ezrah was a man who loved to keep his love life private. He and Piper had been in a secret long-distance relationship. The night they arranged to meet at the birthday party of one of his business partner’s sister, Piper had an emergency and could not attend as planned. That night, he mysteriously ended up in bed with Zora, an incident that should have been brushed under the carpet until the media took hold of it. Not wanting his well-maintained reputation to crack, he apologetically married Zora, promising Piper to divorce Zora secretly after two years when the news dies down. Things took a different turn when he found the test result after promising Piper that he was ending things with Zora. “I told you I was working on it. You should keep yourself hidden away from the press. We shouldn’t be seen together.” Ezrah’s voice was stern. It was business for him first, and he didn’t want Piper’s presence to ruin it for him. Piper was uneasy at the reminder. Forcing a smile, she relayed, “I could be your confidential secretary. Please Ezrah, I don’t want to be away from you anymore.” Ezrah did not give a response. His actions were always well thought out. It wasn’t easy for him to be the CEO of the legendary Gannon Group as the youngest of three sons. Any wrong move and his elder brothers would begin to fight for the position. “Did anyone call?” He was scrolling through his phone when he caught sight of Zora’s name. “Yeah. Zora. She said you should call her,” Piper responded with a smile, her fingers sliding over her exposed thighs as she lay seductively on the luxurious king-size bed. “What did you tell her?” Ezrah frowned a little. He wanted to keep Piper a secret until after the divorce. “I pretended not to know about her existence.” Piper lifted herself to a sitting position, and due to the long slit of the dress, her full thighs were exposed, but Ezrah’s attention was on the phone in his hand. “Do me a favor and don’t answer my calls again.” His voice had lost its warmth. Piper faked remorse. “I’m sorry. I thought it was urgent.” Ezrah finally held her gaze as he spoke roughly, “Nothing about Zora is ever urgent.” Chapter 2 Piper was very happy with his remark, but Zora was still Misses Gannon, the title Piper had long coveted. How she wished that night had not happened. If only that useless man had not appeared when she was about to leave for the airport to board the private jet, she would have been the one waking up in bed with Ezrah. It pained her that it had to be that woman, Zora. “Ezrah, are you sure you will divorce her?” Ezrah hated to be doubted. “You don’t believe me? I’m only with her because she’s carrying my child. As soon as he’s born, I will divorce her.” Piper smiled with satisfaction, and since she had mentally stored Zora's number after answering the call, she sent the recording to her. Remembering that the butler had called Ezrah informing him that Zora was sick, she asked after deleting the audio from her phone. “Can you go shopping with me? I didn’t bring enough clothes.” Even if Zora showed the audio to Ezrah, Piper would deny it as she had used a number Ezrah didn’t know to send it. “I have another meeting in two hours, so you have an hour and a half to finish shopping,” Ezrah said softly. Zora’s heart tightened in her chest when she played the audio. The butler who was driving the car felt helpless, equally disappointed in his boss. Zora asked from the back seat of the luxurious car she was seated in. “Did he really tell you he was coming to the hospital?” The butler’s throat went dry. He always succeeded in making up excuses for his boss, but this time, everything backfired. That audio destroyed everything. “I’m sorry, ma’am. I just didn’t want to see you sad.” Zora’s heart twitched, a bitter smile curled the corner of her lips, feeling like a fool as tears welled up in her eyes. She was nothing to Ezrah. The little surprises sent to ignite her hope were merely prepared by the butler. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t recover from the pain as she felt a force hit the car from the side, causing it to swerve off the road and somersault thrice. The butler was instantly unconscious. Zora felt unbearable pain, blood sputtered from her mouth and nose, then in between her thighs. No words could describe the agony as she watched the life draining out of her with intense pain settled in her abdomen. She managed to pick up her phone, which had fallen to the side from the impact, dialing her husband’s number. Unable to lift the phone to her ear, she activated the speaker. “Zora. I’m busy.” That was what Ezrah said as soon as he answered the phone, not waiting to hear what she had to say. After all, nothing about Zora was ever urgent to him. Before she lost consciousness, she heard the laughter of a woman with the words, “Ezrah, I want these shoes.” “Try them on. If they fit, you can have them.” ‘So, shopping with a woman is what you call busy.’ That was what Zora thought before losing consciousness. Zora woke up at the hospital after hours of surgery. Her face was as pale as a ghost, her countenance pitiful. Her butler, Rudolph, sat at her hospital bed, a smile on his face. He had sustained a few injuries, but they were not serious, and he was already discharged. “Madam, you are awake. Thank God.” Zora was glad to see that Rudolph was fine. There were just bruises on his face. He quickly rushed out to call a doctor. “Mrs. Gannon, how are you feeling?” The doctor asked as he examined Zora, writing a few things on a writing pad he carried along. Zora was only concerned about one thing. “How is my baby?” Zora asked. The doctor’s eyes dulled. “I’m very sorry, but your baby couldn’t survive the impact.” Tears brimmed in the back of Zora’s eyes, but she fought them back. She lost everything. She left her father’s company to work for her husband, nurturing his business and enduring all the taunts of his arrogant family. At twenty-three, she had nothing to show for the man she had secretly loved for five good years. “It’s alright. She would have just suffered anyway.” Her heart had turned cold due to the loss of the child. “Excuse me?” The doctor was shocked. He expected her to cry like any woman in her situation would, but Zora bottled it in. She could endure all of Ezrah’s indifference towards her, but she would never forgive him for the loss of her child. That woman appeared, and Zora suddenly got involved in an accident. The case had to be investigated, but as for Ezrah, he no longer had a place in her heart. “Sorry, that was not directed at you.” There was no warmth in Zora’s apologetic voice. The doctor forced a smile, finished his examination, and left. Zora stared at the butler at the doorway. He stood there since the doctor arrived. Zora was about to tear down but couldn’t do so. She had been weak for too long, leading to the death of her child. If she had left the first time Ezrah asked her for a divorce, this would not have happened. When she discovered this baby, she decided to consent to the divorce and leave. At least, she would have his child to remind her of the relationship they once shared. Unfortunately, the test result fell from her handbag, Ezrah saw it. Even when he decided for them to wait until after she gave birth, his treatment of her was no better. “Where is Ezrah?” Zora asked. Butler Rudolph was scared. He could feel the cold in Zora’s voice, and even with the distance, he could feel the chills. “Madam, the man who hit us was drunk, and he died on the spot. The police are not able to contact his family either,” Rudolph reported, trying to avoid answering her question. He was a middle-aged man. Zora did not believe the report but kept it to herself. The moment she discovered that the man she respected so much was lying to her, her trust in him dwindled. She will find ways to investigate the matter by herself. “That isn’t my question.” “Boss left here a few minutes ago,” Rudolph answered. Zora was enraged this time. Not only Ezrah but Rudolph, the butler Ezrah assigned to her, was equally taking her for a fool. “Don’t lie to my face again.” Her voice was stern and full of contempt. Rudolph pursed his lips, his head lowered. “Boss said, and I quote. ‘It’s rather unfortunate. Let the doctors take care of her. I’m very busy at the moment.” Zora knew what he was busy with. It was the woman whose voice she heard in the audio. She thought she was strong enough to take it, but a tear fell from her eyes before she could stop it. Ashamed of showing her weak side in front of Rudolph, she discharged him. “Thank you, and please excuse me.” Rudolph was never supposed to leave Zora's side, so he was reluctant. “Ma…” “I said, excuse me, Rudolph,” Zora’s voice raised, Rudolph decided to wait in front of the door. “Okay.” As soon as he left the ward, Zora dialed a number. “Soph…” “Dad, I’m sorry. I made a mistake, and now, I lost everything.” Zora didn’t hold back her tears as she spoke to her father on the phone. He was against the marriage the moment he realized that Ezrah did not feel the same way Zora felt about him, but she was optimistic, insisting that Ezrah would change. Expecting her father to scold her an, ‘I told you so’ lecture, his voice was rather soft as he asked her. “What happened, Zora?” “I had an accident and lost the baby. I’m coming home.” The silence at the end of the line was deafening. She knew her father was saddened about the loss of his grandchild. When she was about to end the call, he suddenly said, “Oh Zora. I’m coming to get you. Just send me your location.” Zora refused. She couldn’t leave until she was legally separated from Ezrah. “No dad, I have a few things to do first.” “What is that? Let me help you with it?” Her father eagerly said, but she was in no mood to burden the middle-aged man. The loss had caused Zora to mature so fast as the reality of life hit her. No more would she depend on anyone. It was time to do something worthwhile with her life, but first of all, she will still have to face Ezrah for the last time. “Don’t worry. It’s nothing I can’t handle. “Okay. We shall prepare your welcome party. I will inform your mom.” Zora smiled and didn’t refuse her father’s kindness. Three days later, she was discharged from the hospital. As she waited for Ezrah’s return, she got the divorce papers ready. It was three days later in the dead of the night when Ezrah returned, tired-looking but his attractive features remained untouched by his fatigue. Zora had lost sleep, waiting for Ezrah during most of the days. As soon as she heard the sound of the car, she quickly rushed downstairs but paused on top of the stairs when Ezrah walked through the door of the living room. Arriving home, Ezrah no longer met the woman who always met him with a smile. She stood on top of the stairs and yelled with a cold expression, “Good news Ezrah! Our baby died in a car accident. There is nothing between us, so let’s get a divorce.” The man who was always cold to her instantly panicked. He stood momentarily frozen. Chapter 3 Ezrah was baffled by the news. Twice, he had asked her for a divorce and saw how gloomy she turned at the subject. This was what he wanted but he couldn’t help the unease filling his heart. Was it because Zora was the one asking? Was she trying to mess up his reputation with the loss of the child? Ezrah was confused. Zora descended the stairs, walking to the dining table. Ezrah did not utter an acceptance or rejection of her request for a divorce and went up the stairs, returning after ten minutes in loungewear. Seemed he wasn’t going out or was it the shock from the news? Seeing the dinner table hosting different delicacies, excitement filled his heart as he took a seat. If she really wanted a divorce, then she wouldn’t have cooked for him. At this moment, Piper was momentarily forgotten. Ezrah avoided Zora’s gaze as this was the first time she was so cold to him. Without alerting her of his arrival, she still ensured that his supper was ready. As he uncovered one of the dishes, his eyes darkened as he glared at her. It was not the food he was expecting but rather, the cold divorce papers, with a pen beside them, waiting to be signed. “What is this?” Ezrah was furious, being famished from not having time to eat. In times past, Zora would have been worried and tried to appease him but that Zora was gone. After crying her eyes out for days, she waited to serve Ezrah these cold documents, she had no more tears to shed but her eyes were dangerously red. “Do I need to get you a pair of glasses?” Her voice was taunting, as she saw the shocked expression on his face. He must have taken her request as a joke the first time but the documents exposed the reality. “Why? Were you expecting me to cook when I had no idea when you will be home?” Ezrah’s expression was blank. She could have made the maids do it. It burned Zora that she could not read his emotions but she didn’t care anymore. “Please sign the papers. In case the prints are too tiny, I got you a magnifying glass,” she dropped the item in front of him. Ezrah was not irrational. When he asked for a divorce, he ensured that there would be nothing for the media to feed on but now that they just lost a child? What will people think? His parents liked Zora, except his two elder brothers who always saw her as a threat. The situation was complicated now. Ezrah never thought she would stand on it to ask for a divorce because of how she always claimed to love him, not caring if he was just cold to her. He needed time to think. “We shall talk about it later,” he finally said and was about to stand up when Zora played an audio from her phone. With her mind made up, she wanted the divorce here and now. The woman in front of Ezrah was different from the one he always came home to. She always wore attractive clothes with a little makeup to seduce him which sometimes worked but after his release, Ezrah would return to being cold. Today, Zora did not have on any makeup. Her hair was not even combed. All she wore was pajamas, her long dark hair looking lifeless, in contrast to Ezrah who was looking so attractive. He had the looks and physique Zora used to die for but not anymore. All she felt for him now was resentment. She suddenly matured past looks or smartness in a man. What was there in being hot and a genius in business when there is no conscience or empathy? Zora was just seeing that the man she has always been obsessed with was a selfish monster, caring only about his own image, money, and passion. Whatever blinded her eyes before was removed the moment she woke up on that hospital bed. The voice from the audio was as clear as daylight. A female and a male but the male voice was indeed that of Ezrah. Female: I’m sorry. I thought it was urgent. Male: Nothing about Zora is ever urgent. Female: Ezrah, are you sure you will divorce her? Male: You don’t believe me? I’m only with her because she’s carrying my child. As soon as he’s born, I will divorce her. Zora caught an expression of guilt on his face but there was no remorse. His voice was hard. “Where did you get that?” He demanded. Piper could not have done this, right? She had no contact with Zora. But it was just the two of them in the room. Were there secret cameras? Though confused, his expression returned to being blank. “You have to destroy that audio before I sign this paper,” he threatened her. Zora could not tell how she managed to pretend that she was fine. Up until now, he didn’t even care to apologize for sharing their private information with whatever name he calls the woman in his life. What on earth could have made her fall in love with such a man? He was different from that man from a long time ago who saved her from the pool when she was bullied by some jealous friends. Ezrah did not remember that day but that was when Zora fell in love with him. She calmly showed him another caption on her phone. ‘Mr. Ezra Gannon admits to reigniting his love for his old flame, Miss Piper Henshaw.’ This time, Ezrah paled but his eyes were dark and he picked up his phone instantly. He couldn’t find the person who took those pictures and how they went viral but had to get someone to take them down. The hacker would also be able to find out who sent that information to the press. Zora had grown thorns after listening over and over to the audio and reading that news on her phone. Ezrah had already told her the same thing so this shouldn’t hurt. “It doesn’t matter. The hindrance has already been removed and you already have a woman waiting for you. Just sign the freaking papers.” Chapter 4 Ezrah paced back and forth elegantly, his mind filled with confusion and fear after ending the call. “You want to blackmail me? How much do you want?” He was enraged and disdained that Zora would resort to such means, but he was willing to pay to prevent the audio from going viral. His parents would not hesitate to demote him despite his hard work in the company, while his lazy elder brothers would benefit without putting in the effort. “What I want, you already gave, but since the accident took it away, there is nothing you can give me.” She did not disclose her suspicions, as she had someone investigating the matter. Ezrah suddenly laughed mockingly. “Your father’s company is not as strong as you think. He has been seeking an alliance with me. You want fifty percent of my hard work.” This could be the reason Zora was pushing for the divorce. Fifty percent from the Gannon Group would elevate her family business to new heights. She felt bitter that he would think so poorly of her. Despite her feelings, she kept her composure. “No. You were the one who proposed the divorce, so were you planning to leave me with nothing?” Her question left him speechless, and she reminded him of the prenup agreement. “Did you forget that I signed a prenup before marrying you? I just refreshed your memory so you are free to sign.” Ezrah recalled that Zora had willingly proposed and prepared the prenup when they announced their marriage after the scandal. She did it all to prove to him that she wasn’t ‘interested in his wealth. He suddenly felt uneasy. This was not the scenario he had anticipated when he entered the room. Besides, he was hungry and not in the right state to make such a decision. What if Zora was being supported by one of his brothers or both? “You may have dismissed it, but it's only a matter of time before you reveal that you left with nothing.” Zora struggled to suppress the pain that came with realizing that Ezrah's delay in finalizing the divorce was not due to developing feelings for her or guilt, but rather to protect his image in front of the media and family. She felt a bitter smile form on her lips. “Trust me, nothing about our divorce will be leaked to the media.” “I don’t believe you,” Ezrah responded bluntly. Zora had worked closely with him, and despite her absence from the office in recent weeks, she was privy to confidential information. Ezrah had never seen her as a threat due to her infatuation with him, but now he feared she might make his life difficult. “As soon as the papers are signed, you won’t hear from me again. You can have a happy life with the woman you love,” Zora proposed. Ezrah was already contemplating how he could benefit from her disappearance after the divorce. It seemed like she wanted to start fresh somewhere far away. “Alright. I’m not heartless. I will still give you 50 million,” he said as he signed the document, only to find that Zora had already signed her part. After signing the divorce agreement, Ezrah’s phone rang. Seeing it was Piper, he answered it and began to climb the stairs in long strides. Piper keeps breaking the agreement. She wasn’t supposed to call him when she was home. Zora overheard him on the phone, “Are you the one who recorded our conversation at the hotel?” She couldn’t hear Piper’s response but had the conviction that it was her. Deciding it was best to spend the night on the sofa, Zora couldn't fathom sharing a room with him after their divorce. She was too exhausted to move to another room. Her sleep was restless, prompting her to wake up before Ezrah. She had already packed her bags, so she dressed and approached him. “Ezrah, it’s time to finalize our divorce in court.” Ezrah woke up and looked at her glumly. She was still in a somber mood, her eyes red despite the makeup. He sighed, “just a few minutes.” An hour later, they arrived at the divorce court. With Zora having made prior arrangements, the process was swift, and they soon had their divorce certificates. Without hesitation, they signed their respective portions. “You should keep your word and leave New York for good, or else you won’t like what I will do,” Ezrah warned solemnly. Zora had a faint smile on her face. “I have a gift waiting for you at home.” Ezrah frowned, wondering what kind of gift she arranged for him after their divorce. Zora has always been generous, buying him gifts and anything she knew he would like. He would neither accept nor refuse them. Whereas, he never used any of the gifts she bought for him. They left together, but Zora departed in a cab against his wishes to drop her at the airport. She reiterated that he would never see her again. Ezrah felt conflicted but remembered his promise to Piper. Despite his desire to head straight to the office for a meeting, curiosity got the best of him. He rescheduled the meeting and drove home to see the gift Zora had left for him. Upon arriving, he found a letter on the dining table addressed to him. ‘EZRAH.’ He couldn't recall seeing it earlier that morning, and a sense of unease crept over him as he approached and opened the letter. It was written in Zora’s handwriting, unmistakable to him. As he read the words, fear, panic, and regret flooded his heart. The letter slipped from his trembling fingers as he cried out, “ZORA, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?”	LEARN_MORE	https://shgjfh.com/market/goodnovel/1?lpid=13232&u	Indulge in story	https://www.facebook.com/61552702618591/	832	1969-12-31 18:00	Learn more	shgjfh.com	VIDEO		https://shgjfh.com/market/goodnovel/1?lpid=13232&utm_campaign={{campaign.name}}&utm_content={{campaign.id}}&adset_name={{adset.name}}&adset_id={{adset.id}}&ad_id={{ad.id}}&ad_name={{ad.name}}	1969-12-31 18:00	https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.35426-6/455319936_3380273758943985_8346909510188591077_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s60x60&_nc_cat=107&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=c53f8f&_nc_ohc=Ao98jxzOKAcQ7kNvgGh2D79&_nc_zt=14&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-1.xx&_nc_gid=A-5i4XMRgCyJk5mU1DvLU6Q&oh=00_AYCEvKnrn0VByTqtQJrcoiF0oOoG_NeXWXnJvDvyCO85ng&oe=6730A7B8	PERSON_PROFILE	0	Indulge in story	1969-12-31 18:00	View Edit Delete
2,378,765	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) '{"alias":2378777}'	Yes	2024-11-06 00:42	active	1739	🔥🔥Click to read the next chapter for free👉	Chapter 1 IRENE'S POV My chast heaved with rapid breaths, my eyes fluttered close. My lips fell open and a moan squeezed past my throat. My fingers were working overtime as I pushed them in and out of my wetness with my legs spread apart in bed. I bit the corners of my lips as I threaded my fingers through my hair, gripping them a bit hard like I suspected he would. I imagined his hands on me instead. His long fingers sliding in and out, coated with my juices. He would stroke my insides while holding my legs apart. "Karson," I moaned when his image was all I could see. I reached out my hand to touch him. To touch his rock hard body and trail my fingers down his chast to the V-line where his towel had hung loose. His scent was buried in my memory. All it took was one sniff and here I was, moaning to this man and bucking my hiips. He looked so much better. His face was more defined and he grew so handsome in a short while. His shoulders were broad and wide. He had a perfect figure and toned body. I increased my pace and I gasped when I found it. I slapped a hand over my mouth. The rising heat in the lower part of my stomach increased. Tears rolled down my face. I craved his touch, his fire. My body ached for his attention, the warmth in his eyes, I desired nothing more- My toes curled and I jerrked my hiips as my body convulsed. I bit into my palm as my orggasm rolled out of me. It took a while to recover. I was breathing hard and trying to gather myself again. This was the state he left me in. every single time we bumped into each other. Just a whiff of his scent and I was squirming for his touch. I almost felt terrible for including him in my little session but he was all I could think about. I've been masturbatting frequently now. My mating ceremony to the man of my fantasies was today. One part of me was pleased and happy with the fact that I would have my long time dream come true; being mated to Karson. He was the soon to be Alpha of The Nightcrawlers Pride. I didn't care about his title, that wasn't the reason I loved him. With or without his title, I was bound to be drawn to him. While one part was pleased, the other part was devastated. As much as I wanted to be his mate, I wasn't. Even worse, Karson seemed to think that I had bewitched Luna- his mother- into arranging our marriage. "She's wolfless, mother," he had said during dinner tonight. His contempt was loud, his mock even louder. I withdrew my hands from the table and hid them under with my head lowered at the usual confrontation. "I know," Luna Teresa's reply was calm like she was unaffected by her son's cruel words. I wished his words wouldn't affect me at all. Yet every time he opened his mouth, I was close to tears. Maybe if I loved him any less, I would have tougher skin and wouldn't be running to my room crying like a three year old. He was right. I was wolfless. It wasn't impossible for a werewolf not to have a wolf, it was just rare to find and even rarer for that wolfless wolf to be Luna, ruling over a powerful pack as The Nightcrawlers Pride. According to the book of records in the Pack, I would be the first wolfless Luna. While breaking a record didn't seem too bad, this wasn't exactly the kind of record I would be boastful of. "Yet you would subject your only son and heir to the Pride Family Pack to this fate?" Karson had asked his mother in an accusing tone that made me stop feeling sorry for myself but sorry for her. A wolfless mate meant one of two things; There was a high chance of birthing a wolfless pup and there was a lower chance of birthing a pup- in this case, the next Alpha. I squeezed my dress in a fist. The pressure that was upon my shoulders was more than anyone could ever imagine. "I have strong faith in our genes," Aunt Teresa- as I'd come to know her, smirked. "After all, your father's family were all Alpha's, down to his mother. So you're from a thick and strong Alpha bloodline. I have faith in you-" "My goodness!" Karson huffed in disbelief. "Can you hear yourself, mother? You're betting everything away for her?" I wanted the soft dining chair that had suddenly grown cold under my bvtt to swallow me. "What’s so special about her anyways!" I've heard that before. It shouldn't be anything new. I've cried my eyes out to those words yet every time he asked, it was a whole different feeling than I had bargained for. I was plain. I had no scent, no wolf, no family. There was literally nothing to my name. All I had was everything Aunt Teresa had given to me since I was five. My parents died in a war and Luna had been so kind as to take me in. She couldn't recall my last name so she gave me Pride instead. I was already sharing a last name with the man I came to love. Karson and I lived under the same roof. Growing up around him had been okay. He never showed me this hate, he never even spoke to me except when we were at the table. But ever since he returned from his training where he stayed away to be Alpha for three years, things had gone down the drain. "This is your doing, isn't it?" I stiffened at his words and finally lifted my gaze. The anger and hate in his eyes was enough to let a tear slide down my eye. He was convinced I had bewitched Luna. After all, why would she decide to kil her own bloodline that had been passed down for years? I quickly wiped my eyes. I didn't want Luna to notice plus Karson would scold me and be cross at me if his mother confronted him about making me cry. I fear he was already running from my reach before I could even stretch out my hands. "I'm sorry, I have no hand in this," I said either way, knowing fully well that he wouldn't believe me. "Don't apologize for things that are beyond your control, Irene," Aunt Teresa wiped her mouth with her napkin and rose to her feet. "You two will be just fine. The mating ceremony is in a few days. Get to know yourselves a lot better," with her little advice, she walked away, allowing fear to step in. Karson would eat me alive now that we were alone. I wanted to run after Aunty but I knew it would be childish- "Don’t get any ideas in your head," Karson stated and I turned my attention to him. His words pierced me like a hot thin needle. "You're only my mother's choice. Once I find my mate, I'll have her as my Luna and you'll step down." I gulped and started to nod slowly at his words. "I don't need you to agree, Irene," he scoffed, reminding me that I didn't have a choice and that he called all the shots. "That's just the way it's supposed to be. Think of this as a way of repaying my mother's kindness all those years." Karson got up and walked out of the table. I tried my hardest to understand him. I guess, in a way, his hate was justified. He returned from his Alpha training only to discover he was arranged to be married. He was stripped of the chance to find his mate and he was stuck with someone as useless as myself. His words, his attitude had screamed one thing. 'Know your place, Irene,' and I read the message loud and clear. ************** Our mating ceremony was a long and torturous one for me. The Pack congratulated us endlessly and the smile I plastered on my face should leave a mark by morning. Karson stood stiffly by my side. We were now the new Alpha and Luna of The Nightcrawlers Pride and we were expected to carry out our duties immediately. While no one would say it, I knew that the 'baby making process' was expected as well. We headed to our new room to commence and mark the final activity for the mating ceremony. A day that I had looked forward to all my life. I was nervous and it didn't seem like a good one. I didn't know what to expect but I was already wet, my niples had rolled into tight buds and they tried to gain attention and drill a hole through my outfit. I stepped into the room before him. "I'll be right back," he said and I nodded, closing the door behind me. Immediately, I dashed to the bathroom and took a shower. I couldn't afford this moment to be ruined. I wrapped the towel around my chast and got out of the shower. My heart hammered in my chast. Karson was staring at me with his undivided attention. His gaze dropped lower and I tightened my hand around my towel. The air was thick and in an instant, he was taking long strides towards me. I met him half way and while my hands reached out to touch his face and pull him into a kiss, his hand grabbed my towel and he yanked it off. I gasped in shock but his hands grabbed my brreasts. I was immediately enveloped in the feel of him. I wrapped my hands around his back as he licked and softly nibbled on my hard niples. His rough hands trailed down my body and kicked my legs apart. He slid two fingers into my core and I gasped at the sudden intrusion. "How are you so wet?" He mumbled to himself. I couldn't breathe. His fingers were bigger than mine so they stretched me more than I had ever done to myself. I felt so full and I hadn't even had the real thing yet. He pumped into me hard and fast, soon my legs shook and my eyes were fluttering close. "Karson," I wanted it now. I wanted it right now. I wanted his shaft filling me up and I wanted his bite mark over my neck. "Fvcking hel, Irene!" He cursed and roughly pulled out his fingers. He grabbed my wrist and made me climb the bed, he pressed a hand to my waist and I knew what he wanted. I stayed ass up, face down. I was exposed to him in that position with my legs spread apart. I gripped the sheets beside my head and waited impatiently. The sound of his zipper fuelled my rising hunger and soon I felt something cold and hard poke at my entrance. Suddenly alarmed, I started to rise, "Karson, wait I've never-" He thrust his full length into me and my jaw dropped open. "Fvck! How are you so...tight!" Karson forced those words through his teeth. The sharp pain I felt was overwhelmed by the pleasure that came soon after. I felt him all the way to the back of my throat. My insides were stretched to their limit and when he pulled out and slammed back in, hard and fast, a tear rolled down my cheek. It was more than I had imagined. It was blissful. I could almost see it. The way he pulled back with my juices coating his shaft, inviting him to slam back in and when he did, I could only chew my lip and let out moans of pleasure. Our first night was pure fvcking and nothing else. I gripped the sheets as he grabbed my waist to meet and take his every thrust. I was gasping for breath and his thrusts were faster, shorter and harder. I wondered how it was even possible to move his hiips like that. I could barely catch my breath. If I died today, I would die a happy, wolfless wolf who finally married the man of her dreams. I needed his bite mark. "Karson," I managed to get the words out in between gasps and moans. My or9asm was sudden and instant. My body shook and convulsed as he kept up his thrusts. I squeezed my eyes shut as the electricity rolled through my vibrating core, clenching down hard on him and svcking him in. He grew harder under in an instant and I soon felt something warm in my belly and his shaft pulsed like a heart pumping. My body was spent and I was too weak to open my eyes. He pulled out and I let out a weak moan. I waited for his touch to find me but the only thing I heard were his footsteps and soon, the sound of the door opening and then closing- announcing his departure. Karson had left without leaving his mate bite behind. Chapter 2 IRENE'S POV I threw my head over her legs as I sobbed like a child. Her gentle pat landed on my head, over and over again. "It's going to be alright, Irene," Aunt Teresa said in a soothing voice. I shook my head against her hand. I could hear my heart breaking at his rejection and words of comfort reached nowhere near to piecing my heart together. "I mean it, Irene," Aunt Teresa sighed. She was adamant on making me feel good this morning. After Karson walked out of the room, he was yet to return and I just couldn't stand the terrible feeling that plagued my heart. So here I was in Aunt's room, crying my eyes out. "Don't shed so many tears, Irene. Your eyes will be puffy," she grabbed my face and jerrked my head up. I could barely see her through my blurry vision but her face was in a small pout and her brows were knitted in a frown. Her long black hair was let down and she looked like a goddess. "Look at you," she sighed. "You're so pretty, don't ruin your face, Irene." She wiped my tears with her thumb and pressed her lips to my forehead in a kiss. I closed my eyes as I tried to relax into it but more tears only poured out when I remembered that Karson didn't even kiss me. I 9roaned, throwing my head back as I sobbed even harder. "He didn't- hic- he avoided- hic- I don't know why- hic- but he didn't- hic-" "Stop crying, Irene. I can't make out your words-" "He didn't make out with me!" I cried harder and stopped to swallow the lump in my throat before I continued again. "It's because I'm wolfless and I'm not even his mate! I have nothing- he hates me," "He doesn't hate you," She tried to assure me. "He just doesn't understand-" "Understand what?" I cried. "I don't understand either. Make me understand-" "Irene!" She grabbed my face again and stared into my eyes. "You can't force your destiny. When the time is right, you'll understand. I have faith in you, Irene." I didn't even have faith in myself but her tone was convincing and the way she stared at me with no joke. She wiped my tears again and I didn't have the heart to produce any more. "Trust me, my dear. You're Luna now and I'm sure you'll be more powerful than ever before." I held onto her words and made them my strength but as the days rolled by, my frustration was beyond me that I would lock myself in my room- as Karson never returned- and cried. Our matrimonial bed had become my personal bed. The room we were supposed to share was now my own room. The only time we bumped into each other was during breakfast where we ate in silence or going past his office to mine. The Luna position came with a lot of responsibility and I was still being eased into it. But with Karson's attitude still on my mind, I was always mentally and emotionally stressed by the end of each day. "Luna, is everything alright?" I snapped out of my thoughts at the Beta's voice. Wayne stared at me with a worried look. He had been in my office for a few minutes now but I could hardly recall the issue he had raised. "I'm sorry," I hurriedly apologized and dropped my pen on the desk, giving him my full attention. "I'm fine. You were saying?" He didn't look the least convinced but he had to go on either way. He smiled and the wrinkles around his mouth stretched. He had gotten very old over the years, I guess it was time for him to retire but that was his and Karson's decision to make. "Maybe you should get some rest later,"he suggested and I could only offer him a smile. "I was asking your opinion about weapon storage in the Pack. While we don't have any impending threats, I was thinking it wouldn't be bad to restock and increase our budget." "A few of our warriors with friends from other packs have mentioned the endless amount of weapons over there. I'm afraid they feel ours is lacking behind," he explained. "I understand. But having an endless amount of weapons calls for a higher maintenance budget. If we do that, the tax will increase, the pack members will suffer and all we'll have are weapons while exploiting others," I sighed. "We're building a nation not a military zone. Even during war, we can have enough money and gain the upper hand." "I'm afraid I'll have to decline the request to stock more weapons. Instead, could we cover it by high maintenance of what we already have?" I suggested. Beta Wayne was already nodding with a satisfied smile on his face, "Yes, that could work. You're right. You're a blessing to us, Irene. Our budget is in safe hands. Our Alpha is really lucky to have you by his side." I smiled in response to his words and watched him excuse himself. It was only fair to have brains, in my opinion. After discovering I was wolfless, I trained myself in other ways to help strengthen the Pack and I knew I was successful each time I received praises. Even worse, there was something strange that I had started to notice. Wayne's daughter visited Alpha Karson every day. "Where is the Alpha, Joan?" I asked the maid that served my tea. "He's in his office, Luna," she fidgeted for a while, biting her lip. "With who?" I already knew what she wanted to say. The thought of her answer was already making me squeeze the document I was holding. "Lexie, Luna Irene," she replied in a murmur. I offered her a smile, "Thank you. You can go now." She bowed before rushing out of my office. I leaned back on my seat with a hand over my face and a tired sigh leaving my lips. Her constant visits to the Alpha's study was becoming alarming. They spent every minute together and he rarely had lunch or dinner with me. Her giggles were loud and every time I heard it, I could hear my heart breaking but I would lift my chin and wear a smile. I had loved Karson for years and a little thing like this shouldn't be able to shake me. I shrugged it off my shoulders and tried to concentrate on my duties. I successfully distracted myself till evening but soon came the migraines that were impossible to ignore. I called it a night and started to walk down the hallway. When I approached Karson's door, my heart began to pound. I wondered if he was still in and if he was with her. It was almost 9p.m already and she was supposed to be at home. Besides, I was yet to have dinner and I wondered if he had eaten too. He had successfully avoided me for a whole month, sharing his attention between his work and Lexie. It was strange to think about but I didn't want to ponder on that. Especially when my thoughts would play detective, questioning itself if she was his mate or not. But she wasn't of age yet for him to find out. That was the only thread of hope that I clung onto. "Maybe I could ask if we could have dinner together," I wondered and I slowed down when I got to his door. Karson's scent was faint but it tickled my nose either way, making my niples hard and my core already wet. Being wolfless, I could hardly distinguish between people by their scent nor could I smell everyone but Karson's scent was one I had thought myself to remember. His scent was like wild roses in an open field while Aunt Teresa's scent was warm and sunny. I cherished the little gift I had from having two werewolf parents as Aunt Teresa had told me. We never spoke much about them and I wondered why. All I knew was that they were good people who would do anything for the ones they loved. Sometimes, I wondered if they didn't love me enough to stay alive. Exhaling softly, I held the cold door knob of Karson's office and I pushed it open. "Karson, I was wondering if you'd like to have dinner with-" The rest of the words died in my throat. My eyes widened and I heard my own heart shatter. Dizziness washed over me and my knees wobbled but I gripped the door hard to keep standing. Karson had Lexie in his arms in a hug while he backed her against his desk. His mouth was on her neck and the way she held onto him tightly as if she was in slight pain, I could already tell what was going on. The mate bite he had refused to give me, he was bestowing it upon her. He had marked her without even stopping to consider our mating ceremony- Was she... No! I shook my head even as my thoughts already confirmed it. My lips trembled as tears filled my eyes at the realization. Karson was hel bent upon meeting his mate. He hates our arranged marriage because he didn't have the chance to find his destined mate. She was his mate. The sight before my eyes was growing on my pierced heart that continued to shatter even more. The sight burned right into my head that I was sure I could never forget it even if I were to lose my memory today. I would at least remember that the only man I had ever loved, had finally found his mate and I was nothing to him. I stepped away from the door like it would explode at any minute. "You're only my mother's choice," his words before our mating ceremony began to hunt me. My breathing became ragged and I clutched my chast, tugging at the neck of my dress as I found it hard to breathe. I staggered backwards with eyes wide in horror. I turned and ran into my room, slamming the door behind me. I sagged to the floor with my knees hunched up to my chast. My hands shook and so did my shoulders. The tears fell and all I could do was stare into my palm before slowly placing it over my face. Chapter 3 IRENE'S POV The pain I felt was like a deep hollow of nothingness that delved deeper and deeper even when I tried not to think about last night. The image was engraved in my head. I hadn't slept a wink. I sat up in my bed all night with my thoughts all over hel's half acre. My shoulders were slumped and my hair was let loose to drop down, covering the side of my face. There was a knock on my door but I didn't lift my eyes from the sheets. The knock sounded again and it took a while to recover. I lifted my gaze and sighed, drilling a hole into the door. I didn't want any visitors. I simply wished to sit in my bed all day but that couldn't happen. I muttered a weak "come in," and mentally mocked my sorry tone. "Luna?" A maid stepped in and I locked eyes with her. She gasped with her eyes going wide for a brief second before she lowered her eyes. Did I really look that bad in just one night? "B-breakfast has been served and the Alpha's mother has asked me to come fetch you," she stuttered. "I see," I sighed again and started to drag myself out of bed. My knees were weak from holding me up. "Bring out something for me to wear and... Some make-up for my face." "Y-Yes, Luna!" I showered quickly and dressed up fast. When I stared into the mirror, I shook my head at my sorry self. My eye bags were bad and there were dark circles too. I looked like I had been crying all night. The maid helped in applying the pancake and covering it up. I thanked her and rushed for breakfast after practicing my smile in the mirror. I was going to act like there was no weight in my heart and no turbulence in my head. But my smile froze when I got to the table. Lexie was laughing with Aunty and Karson had a smile on his face while he ate- that was something that had never happened. "Oh, Luna," Lexie's voice was high and she sounded elated. "You're here. We've been waiting for you. Breakfast is almost cold." She was a very pretty young woman with bob brown hair, an oblong face, love shaped bow lip and her body figure was very matured. Her b00bs were bigger than mine and so were her legs. This was probably Karson's type. What was she doing here? Why was she here? She had no right to be here- unless... "Lexie, here, joined us for breakfast," Aunt explained. She probably read the confusion on my face. "Sorry, if it's uncomfortable for you," Lexie said and nervously rubbed her hand on her neck. I saw it. She knew I saw it. The band-aid on her neck was no joke. I had lost Karson and she was making that clear. She didn't have breakfast with us every other day. It was just that one time but it sent a clear message to me. My days in his life were numbered. I went down for breakfast with a thudding heart and anxiousness in my womb. Their silence was taking a toll on me. I wondered if it was their plan to drive me mad so they could find an excuse to kick me out but Karson didn't need an excuse to get rid of me. He could do it whenever he wanted since he had found his mate. So why was he holding back? Why were they keeping their affair a secret? My thoughts were ferocious and they showed no mercy. A minute of idleness and I was sinking deep into depression. I picked up more work than usual. An attempt to keep my mind occupied and busy was starting to weigh down on me. I left my office by 2a.m. every day, only to return by 8a.m. I had no complaints whatsoever but after a week, I noticed the workload started to reduce. The usual heap of files I arranged for myself were halved and I was rounding off sooner than I wanted. "Raphael, why is there so little work to do?" I voiced my complaints to the Gamma of the Pack. He was arranging a few files for me to check out and I was already frowning at how little they were. "Shouldn't you be happy?" He asked instead. "You've been working too much of late," he was one of the few who could speak freely to me despite my Luna title. He was a good friend of mine despite still being Karson's Gamma. "I'm not complaining," I told him. "What happened to all the work?" I wanted to sink into work and nothing more. It was my only means of escape at this point. "Well, Alpha Karson shared some of your Luna duties to Lexie-" "What?" I must've misheard. I refused to believe my ears. "What did you just say?" Raphael met my gaze with caution. He was probably debating whether or not to repeat that. In the end, he did. "But, I don't understand... Am I doing something wrong? Did I make a mistake somewhere-" "No, never. Irene, you're perfect. You've been doing everything right from the very beginning," he encouraged, pulling me out from the hands of criticism that my thoughts had wrapped around me. "Then why? I am Luna. Only Luna should handle Luna affairs," I said more to myself, trying to understand the situation and give reasons why it wasn't even making any sense. Raphael glanced away for a moment and my heart sank. "You've been noticing it too, haven't you?" "I'm sorry. I didn't want to tell you so you wouldn't worry so much," He made an apologetic face. "I simply carried out the order. Maybe you could ask him sometime," he suggested. "Would you like to go for a walk? To clear your mind at least?" This was happening too fast for me to wrap my head around. I swallowed hard as I looked around my office. Since when was there a deputy Luna? What was Karson's aim in all of this? Was he trying to ridicule my position or make me know my place? I nodded and he smiled, turning away immediately. "Would you like ice cream or sandwich along the way-" "R-Raphael?" I called and stepped out from behind my desk. He was already at the door when he turned to face me. " Let's go for a smooke break instead," I needed another form of distraction since Karson had taken this one away from me. "What do you mean?" He asked, sounding suspicious. "I want to smooke too." *** My workload reduced as my deputy Luna took her work seriously. Day by day I did less work but I occupied myself with smooking in my bathroom whenever I could. It was relaxing and it helped me let out some steam. I was in my room by 6pm. that evening, smooking again when I heard a knock on the door. I froze for a moment, looking at the door with furrowed brows. I wasn't expecting anyone. Plus Karson never came here. He had his own room now. "Who is it-" "Irene, dear? Can I come in?" Aunt Teresa's voice had me slamming the ci9arette on the ashtray. I carried it to the bathroom and dumped it in the sink. I rushed out and grabbed my perfumes, spraying the air with my heart beating wildly in my chast. After I sniffed the air and made sure the ci9arette smell was gone, I took a deep breath and opened the door. Her shiny face and warm smile came into view. She stood in a composed manner with her head tipped up. Aunty could never be caught without the aura and grace of a queen. I ushered her in with more enthusiasm than normal and I hoped she wouldn't notice. "You finished your duties a little early. That's good. Why didn't you come over to my room so we could talk?" She wondered, heading to the dropped curtains. "It's quite dark in here," she mumbled to herself and spread the curtain open. I raised a hand to shield my eyes from the light. I preferred the dark and gloomy area. It was a perfect place to hide my shame. How could I even look at myself in the mirror and call myself a Luna? I was a sorry excuse for one. "I didn't want to disturb you with my issues," I intertwined my fingers over my legs as I stood by the door with my eyes on the floor of where she was. She turned her body in my direction, "Oh? That's a first. Is something going on?" Something? More than enough was going on and I doubted Aunty even knew half of it. "Not at all," I shook my head. If Karson wouldn't tell her, then I wouldn't dare to mention it. Aunt Teresa was a supportive mother to both Karson and I. I wondered how she would react to Karson finally finding his mate. I wouldn't want to put her at a crossroad. Actually, I think I just couldn't bear the thought of Aunt Teresa picking Lexie over me. It hurt that Karson already did but it would hurt me more and rip my heart out if the only mother figure I've known all my life were to discard me like I meant nothing. "It's your birthday tomorrow," she announced. "Did you forget?" "Oh," a day I had always looked forward to was now insignificant to me. "I guess I did." She sighed, "Perhaps are you working too much, Irene?" I almost scoffed with my vision blurred with tears, "No, that's impossible. I'm not even doing nearly enough." "What do you mean? You work everyday and you're doing good," she defended. "Are you crying again?" I couldn't help it. My chin was trembling as I tried to hold back my tears. It felt as though a dam was about to break. I felt like a worthless piece of crap. Karson couldn't even trust me with Luna duties anymore, he handed them over to that other woman. What was I thinking? I was actually the "other woman" in their relationship. I was an outsider who could never take the place of his mate. Not that I even wanted to try- far from it! I just wanted Karson to acknowledge my love for him and my efforts to make him happy and satisfied. Was that really too much to ask? I was in Aunt Teresa's embrace by the time I recovered myself. She wrapped her arms around me as I tried to control my sobs. "Don't doubt yourself so much, my dear. Everything will be just fine," she reassured and I nodded even though I knew things wouldn't be fine. They would only get worse and worse with each passing day. I made up my mind to confront Karson about what he had done rather than allow myself to wallow and sink further into self pity and doubt. Aunt Teresa left after informing me she would be returning from a short trip tomorrow evening to celebrate my birthday with me. I took a shower and by evening I was heading to Karson's room. My head was throbbing from a dull headache that had become a constant thing every evening for a week now and my temperature was quite high. I made it to Karson's room and after practicing controlled breathing up to five times, I knocked. "Come in," his voice was soft and it made my heart melt. For a second there I wondered if he was expecting someone else. I walked into his room with his scent hitting me first. It's been a while since I stepped into his personal space. The last time I did that, I nearly had a heart attack from what I saw. Karson was seated on his king sized bed with his head turned to a document. He had moved back to his old room. While everything was familiar in here, the one thing that wasn't was this hot man in nothing but his dark blue pants. I almost drooled just by staring at his chast and bulging muscles. When next would I get to touch his body- "I suppose you didn't come here to stare, right?" His voice interrupted my thoughts and gone was the soft tone that I had received outside the door. He was back to his usual self and cold tone especially with the way he gazed at me with no atom of smile on his face. I summon my courage, "Right. I came because I need answers. You handed part of my duties to Lexie and I'd appreciate it if you could tell me why." His brow arched in a silent question, "It's been a week already. Why is it suddenly so important to know?" He was right. I had taken too long to question him. I should've headed into his office the first time I heard the news. "I know. I've only been wondering if there was something I wasn't doing right," I stated while trying to keep a straight face. "So I took the time to look inwards and question myself-" "There's no need for you to do that, Irene," he tilted his head. "You've managed the Packs finances very well while making sure there's adequate supply of everyone's needs." His compliment left me stunned as I never expected it from him. "Then," I took a step closer. "Why is Lexie acting as a deputy Luna? It is unheard of that Luna's duties are given to someone else. Is there something I should know-" "If that'll be all, I'd like to get back to my duties now. As you can see," he lifted the document slightly. "I'm still occupied." I gaped at him in shock. He was openly dismissing my question about Lexie. Was this what it had come to? "It's my birthday tomorrow," I announced with my eyes on the sheets, wondering if he had ever taken Lexie here and did to her what he did with me during the night of our mating ceremony. Was he more pasionate and gentle? Did he hold her after- I let out a harsh breath as there was nothing but silence. He had turned his attention back to his work and it showed that I wasn't needed here anymore. I quietly left his room and I doubted he even noticed that I was gone. I spent the night with a high fever and a headache but by morning after throwing up a few times, I realized what my condition was. I threw out the ci9arettes and got rid of the ash tray. I got naked and stood in front of a mirror. My breests were fuller and my niples had spread and were wider. Karson would've noticed if he had spared me a minute or more of his time for a little visit. I needed to get out of here. This place was no longer my home. It was only a matter of time before Karson would welcome his mate to his side and she would be made Luna as soon as possible. There was nothing left for me here; not in the pack and not even by his side. I did the only thing I could do at this point; the only thing Karson would appreciate and probably love me for someday... I ran. Chapter 4 IRENE'S POV FIVE YEARS LATER "Carl! Karin! Mummy's leaving!" The nanny announced with a loud voice and in less than two seconds, two preschoolers ran out with their chubby cheeks. The boy- Carl- was holding his favorite dinosaur toy with his black hair disheveled on his head. His smile was wide as he ran out and his arms opened wide while Karin- the girl- had her usual frown on her face. She practically glared at everything as she approached. I squatted before the couch as they approached me. I wrapped my arms around them, pulling them into a hug when they got closer. "M-Mummy," Carl stuttered excitedly. When I pulled away and stared into their faces, Karin was wearing a smile. She only ever smiled when she was around me. The nanny was already complaining that she was scared of her. But what could a four year old do to a full grown woman? "Karin, did you pull your brother's hair again?" I arched my brows and she tensed with her smile freezing on her face. Her dark hair was in two ponytails. I wondered how long it had taken Nanny May to successfully do that. She shook her head aggressively and I glanced at Carl who was already playing with his dinosaur. Ignoring our conversation like it was past tense to him. "Are you lying?" I tried again and when she nodded, I covered my face with a smile. "Your honesty is appreciated but you have to stop pulling his hair. You'll turn him into an old man." I could feel my wolf smiling proudly as we stared at the duo who almost never got along. It almost reminded me of the relationship I had with their father. "Anyways!" I said to my pups and to my thoughts but that got their attention anyways. "I'm leaving-" "Where?" Karin's frown was back on her face- she was the bossy one- and Carl looked like he was about to start crying. "N-No no, I'll be back soon, I promise. I have to meet up with the Alpha," I touched their cheeks and brought them closer for a kiss. "Remember, do not shift before anyone except me, okay?" I repeated the only rule we had and they nodded in silence. "Thank you, baby," I kissed their foreheads and spoke loudly this time, "Make sure to listen to Nanny May, okay?" But they were already running away before I could get the words out. I stepped out of the house with a weird feeling in my chast. It always felt this way whenever I had to leave them with anyone even for a second. Especially now that I'd be away for two nights. I trusted the twins not to break the rule but it was concerning to think about. They were only four years old. Since when did four year olds start to shift? Heck! I didn't even get my wolf until after I gave birth. It was a whole new experience for me, especially trying to connect with her. The link between us was like a thin thread but it had gradually advanced over the years. "Ready to go?" I was pulled out of my thoughts at the sound of my Alpha's voice. A bulky man with light brown skin and wild hair. Despite being in his thirties, he didn't look a day over twenty. He still looked so young and agile. Alpha Lucas was leaning over his Jeep and I rushed to him. We got into the car and drove down to where the meeting was supposed to take place. It was the third cross pack meeting our Pack would hold after five years and I was really looking forward to it. I had received his orders to participate and I had already prepared my speech but my stomach still tied itself in a knot due to nervousness. It had been a long time since I was made to handle such responsibility. I knew I was once Luna for The Nightcrawlers Pride and I delivered speeches to the Pack during the time I was there but that was a long time ago. We arrived at the hotel scheduled for the meeting in less than two hours and the hall was already filled with Alpha's of different pack's and their Beta's, talking and catching up while others were getting to know each other. "You look nervous," Alpha Lucas leaned down to whisper close to my ears. I blinked up at him, a bit uncomfortable by his sudden closures and he smiled, taking a step back. "Is it that obvious?" My cheeks were flushed from the idea of everyone reading my body language. I had gained a few of their attention but I lifted my head and avoided their gaze. I knew how Alpha's could get with their ego's. I wouldn't want to step on toes here. "Only to me," he shrugged. "But you look elegant and calm like a Luna," he complimented and I smiled tightly at the use of that title. No one in The Howlers Pack knew of my past. When I ended up here five years ago, I was almost knocked over by his car. He took me in as a rogue who had decided to acknowledge an Alpha and we've not once talked about my past, not even when I found out I was pre9nant. "You say the loveliest things to me, Alpha Lucas," I told him and I really meant it. He was like that guardian angel that kept cheering me on. "You know I would say even lovelier things and do much more for you if you agree to be my mate," he tried again with a daunting smile on his lips. He was a very good looking man who could get away with anything if he smiled. It was sad to know he lost his mate several years ago and he never spoke about her. He was convinced I was his second chance mate and he had been trying, for what three to four years now? I had lost count of how many times he had tried to convince me but each time I repeated the same old lines. "You're talking to a-" "...a brick wall whose heart can never beat again," he rolled his eyes as he finished my lines. "I know, I know. I've heard that before. Sometimes I wish I could find the basstard who dared to break your heart and make him pay." I laughed, placing a hand on his arm. It was funny hearing him say that and also very sweet. He cared deeply about me and I knew I could never repay his kindness in the way he wanted. "Can I see the list of Pack's that'll be attending?" I asked, changing the topic and he went along with it. He handed me a book that had all the twenty lists of Pack names with their Alpha and I scanned them. Eighteen out of twenty had already ticked in while two were left out. "Black Might Pack- Alpha John and Beta Phillip," I mumbled, reading to myself. "And The Nightcrawlers Pride," I froze and stopped breathing. I caught a whiff of something familiar in the air. It sparked memories that I had sought to bury. The scent of wild rose filled my nose and I gulped as I slowly lifted my gaze towards the door. I held the gaze of familiar black eyes that made my heart slowly start beating again before picking up the pace. He occupied the whole room and everyone else disappeared. He scanned the room as he buttoned his black suit that hugged his wide frame. His eyes landed on mine and I felt my heart skip a nervous beat. He was staring and I couldn't bring myself to look away. Could he recognise me? I wasn't the same woman when I left the pack five years ago. I was way different as my body had developed and I had added flesh in all the right places. Still he stared like he knew and I saw recognition flash in his orbs. "Irene, are you okay?" I felt Alpha Lucas place a hand on my shoulder with his tone filled with worry and just like that, Karson's brows furrowed in a deep frown as his eyes darted back and forth in an angry and suspicious stare between me and my new Alpha.	LEARN_MORE	https://befant.com/market/buenovela/3?lpid=14374&u	Indulge in story	https://www.facebook.com/61552702618591/	832	1969-12-31 18:00	Learn More	befant.com	DCO		https://befant.com/market/buenovela/3?lpid=14374&utm_campaign={{campaign.name}}&utm_content={{campaign.id}}&adset_name={{adset.name}}&adset_id={{adset.id}}&ad_id={{ad.id}}&ad_name={{ad.name}}&placement={{placement}}	1969-12-31 18:00	https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.35426-6/461262119_567752125679105_1113191889968315431_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s60x60&_nc_cat=104&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=c53f8f&_nc_ohc=G_JfDZxWb2YQ7kNvgEYDK-U&_nc_zt=14&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-1.xx&_nc_gid=AQR9FKvZ9zZReyu3FVON9V5&oh=00_AYCFQ2mPndz2b-VzZYk9q78di--uEQv5AE3ANk0DCgCF1g&oe=6730E474	PERSON_PROFILE	0	Indulge in story	1969-12-31 18:00	View Edit Delete
2,378,767	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) '{"alias":2378777}'	Yes	2024-11-06 00:42	active	1739	🔥🔥Click to read the next chapter for free👉	Chapter 1 IRENE'S POV My chast heaved with rapid breaths, my eyes fluttered close. My lips fell open and a moan squeezed past my throat. My fingers were working overtime as I pushed them in and out of my wetness with my legs spread apart in bed. I bit the corners of my lips as I threaded my fingers through my hair, gripping them a bit hard like I suspected he would. I imagined his hands on me instead. His long fingers sliding in and out, coated with my juices. He would stroke my insides while holding my legs apart. "Karson," I moaned when his image was all I could see. I reached out my hand to touch him. To touch his rock hard body and trail my fingers down his chast to the V-line where his towel had hung loose. His scent was buried in my memory. All it took was one sniff and here I was, moaning to this man and bucking my hiips. He looked so much better. His face was more defined and he grew so handsome in a short while. His shoulders were broad and wide. He had a perfect figure and toned body. I increased my pace and I gasped when I found it. I slapped a hand over my mouth. The rising heat in the lower part of my stomach increased. Tears rolled down my face. I craved his touch, his fire. My body ached for his attention, the warmth in his eyes, I desired nothing more- My toes curled and I jerrked my hiips as my body convulsed. I bit into my palm as my orggasm rolled out of me. It took a while to recover. I was breathing hard and trying to gather myself again. This was the state he left me in. every single time we bumped into each other. Just a whiff of his scent and I was squirming for his touch. I almost felt terrible for including him in my little session but he was all I could think about. I've been masturbatting frequently now. My mating ceremony to the man of my fantasies was today. One part of me was pleased and happy with the fact that I would have my long time dream come true; being mated to Karson. He was the soon to be Alpha of The Nightcrawlers Pride. I didn't care about his title, that wasn't the reason I loved him. With or without his title, I was bound to be drawn to him. While one part was pleased, the other part was devastated. As much as I wanted to be his mate, I wasn't. Even worse, Karson seemed to think that I had bewitched Luna- his mother- into arranging our marriage. "She's wolfless, mother," he had said during dinner tonight. His contempt was loud, his mock even louder. I withdrew my hands from the table and hid them under with my head lowered at the usual confrontation. "I know," Luna Teresa's reply was calm like she was unaffected by her son's cruel words. I wished his words wouldn't affect me at all. Yet every time he opened his mouth, I was close to tears. Maybe if I loved him any less, I would have tougher skin and wouldn't be running to my room crying like a three year old. He was right. I was wolfless. It wasn't impossible for a werewolf not to have a wolf, it was just rare to find and even rarer for that wolfless wolf to be Luna, ruling over a powerful pack as The Nightcrawlers Pride. According to the book of records in the Pack, I would be the first wolfless Luna. While breaking a record didn't seem too bad, this wasn't exactly the kind of record I would be boastful of. "Yet you would subject your only son and heir to the Pride Family Pack to this fate?" Karson had asked his mother in an accusing tone that made me stop feeling sorry for myself but sorry for her. A wolfless mate meant one of two things; There was a high chance of birthing a wolfless pup and there was a lower chance of birthing a pup- in this case, the next Alpha. I squeezed my dress in a fist. The pressure that was upon my shoulders was more than anyone could ever imagine. "I have strong faith in our genes," Aunt Teresa- as I'd come to know her, smirked. "After all, your father's family were all Alpha's, down to his mother. So you're from a thick and strong Alpha bloodline. I have faith in you-" "My goodness!" Karson huffed in disbelief. "Can you hear yourself, mother? You're betting everything away for her?" I wanted the soft dining chair that had suddenly grown cold under my bvtt to swallow me. "What’s so special about her anyways!" I've heard that before. It shouldn't be anything new. I've cried my eyes out to those words yet every time he asked, it was a whole different feeling than I had bargained for. I was plain. I had no scent, no wolf, no family. There was literally nothing to my name. All I had was everything Aunt Teresa had given to me since I was five. My parents died in a war and Luna had been so kind as to take me in. She couldn't recall my last name so she gave me Pride instead. I was already sharing a last name with the man I came to love. Karson and I lived under the same roof. Growing up around him had been okay. He never showed me this hate, he never even spoke to me except when we were at the table. But ever since he returned from his training where he stayed away to be Alpha for three years, things had gone down the drain. "This is your doing, isn't it?" I stiffened at his words and finally lifted my gaze. The anger and hate in his eyes was enough to let a tear slide down my eye. He was convinced I had bewitched Luna. After all, why would she decide to kil her own bloodline that had been passed down for years? I quickly wiped my eyes. I didn't want Luna to notice plus Karson would scold me and be cross at me if his mother confronted him about making me cry. I fear he was already running from my reach before I could even stretch out my hands. "I'm sorry, I have no hand in this," I said either way, knowing fully well that he wouldn't believe me. "Don't apologize for things that are beyond your control, Irene," Aunt Teresa wiped her mouth with her napkin and rose to her feet. "You two will be just fine. The mating ceremony is in a few days. Get to know yourselves a lot better," with her little advice, she walked away, allowing fear to step in. Karson would eat me alive now that we were alone. I wanted to run after Aunty but I knew it would be childish- "Don’t get any ideas in your head," Karson stated and I turned my attention to him. His words pierced me like a hot thin needle. "You're only my mother's choice. Once I find my mate, I'll have her as my Luna and you'll step down." I gulped and started to nod slowly at his words. "I don't need you to agree, Irene," he scoffed, reminding me that I didn't have a choice and that he called all the shots. "That's just the way it's supposed to be. Think of this as a way of repaying my mother's kindness all those years." Karson got up and walked out of the table. I tried my hardest to understand him. I guess, in a way, his hate was justified. He returned from his Alpha training only to discover he was arranged to be married. He was stripped of the chance to find his mate and he was stuck with someone as useless as myself. His words, his attitude had screamed one thing. 'Know your place, Irene,' and I read the message loud and clear. ************** Our mating ceremony was a long and torturous one for me. The Pack congratulated us endlessly and the smile I plastered on my face should leave a mark by morning. Karson stood stiffly by my side. We were now the new Alpha and Luna of The Nightcrawlers Pride and we were expected to carry out our duties immediately. While no one would say it, I knew that the 'baby making process' was expected as well. We headed to our new room to commence and mark the final activity for the mating ceremony. A day that I had looked forward to all my life. I was nervous and it didn't seem like a good one. I didn't know what to expect but I was already wet, my niples had rolled into tight buds and they tried to gain attention and drill a hole through my outfit. I stepped into the room before him. "I'll be right back," he said and I nodded, closing the door behind me. Immediately, I dashed to the bathroom and took a shower. I couldn't afford this moment to be ruined. I wrapped the towel around my chast and got out of the shower. My heart hammered in my chast. Karson was staring at me with his undivided attention. His gaze dropped lower and I tightened my hand around my towel. The air was thick and in an instant, he was taking long strides towards me. I met him half way and while my hands reached out to touch his face and pull him into a kiss, his hand grabbed my towel and he yanked it off. I gasped in shock but his hands grabbed my brreasts. I was immediately enveloped in the feel of him. I wrapped my hands around his back as he licked and softly nibbled on my hard niples. His rough hands trailed down my body and kicked my legs apart. He slid two fingers into my core and I gasped at the sudden intrusion. "How are you so wet?" He mumbled to himself. I couldn't breathe. His fingers were bigger than mine so they stretched me more than I had ever done to myself. I felt so full and I hadn't even had the real thing yet. He pumped into me hard and fast, soon my legs shook and my eyes were fluttering close. "Karson," I wanted it now. I wanted it right now. I wanted his shaft filling me up and I wanted his bite mark over my neck. "Fvcking hel, Irene!" He cursed and roughly pulled out his fingers. He grabbed my wrist and made me climb the bed, he pressed a hand to my waist and I knew what he wanted. I stayed ass up, face down. I was exposed to him in that position with my legs spread apart. I gripped the sheets beside my head and waited impatiently. The sound of his zipper fuelled my rising hunger and soon I felt something cold and hard poke at my entrance. Suddenly alarmed, I started to rise, "Karson, wait I've never-" He thrust his full length into me and my jaw dropped open. "Fvck! How are you so...tight!" Karson forced those words through his teeth. The sharp pain I felt was overwhelmed by the pleasure that came soon after. I felt him all the way to the back of my throat. My insides were stretched to their limit and when he pulled out and slammed back in, hard and fast, a tear rolled down my cheek. It was more than I had imagined. It was blissful. I could almost see it. The way he pulled back with my juices coating his shaft, inviting him to slam back in and when he did, I could only chew my lip and let out moans of pleasure. Our first night was pure fvcking and nothing else. I gripped the sheets as he grabbed my waist to meet and take his every thrust. I was gasping for breath and his thrusts were faster, shorter and harder. I wondered how it was even possible to move his hiips like that. I could barely catch my breath. If I died today, I would die a happy, wolfless wolf who finally married the man of her dreams. I needed his bite mark. "Karson," I managed to get the words out in between gasps and moans. My or9asm was sudden and instant. My body shook and convulsed as he kept up his thrusts. I squeezed my eyes shut as the electricity rolled through my vibrating core, clenching down hard on him and svcking him in. He grew harder under in an instant and I soon felt something warm in my belly and his shaft pulsed like a heart pumping. My body was spent and I was too weak to open my eyes. He pulled out and I let out a weak moan. I waited for his touch to find me but the only thing I heard were his footsteps and soon, the sound of the door opening and then closing- announcing his departure. Karson had left without leaving his mate bite behind. Chapter 2 IRENE'S POV I threw my head over her legs as I sobbed like a child. Her gentle pat landed on my head, over and over again. "It's going to be alright, Irene," Aunt Teresa said in a soothing voice. I shook my head against her hand. I could hear my heart breaking at his rejection and words of comfort reached nowhere near to piecing my heart together. "I mean it, Irene," Aunt Teresa sighed. She was adamant on making me feel good this morning. After Karson walked out of the room, he was yet to return and I just couldn't stand the terrible feeling that plagued my heart. So here I was in Aunt's room, crying my eyes out. "Don't shed so many tears, Irene. Your eyes will be puffy," she grabbed my face and jerrked my head up. I could barely see her through my blurry vision but her face was in a small pout and her brows were knitted in a frown. Her long black hair was let down and she looked like a goddess. "Look at you," she sighed. "You're so pretty, don't ruin your face, Irene." She wiped my tears with her thumb and pressed her lips to my forehead in a kiss. I closed my eyes as I tried to relax into it but more tears only poured out when I remembered that Karson didn't even kiss me. I 9roaned, throwing my head back as I sobbed even harder. "He didn't- hic- he avoided- hic- I don't know why- hic- but he didn't- hic-" "Stop crying, Irene. I can't make out your words-" "He didn't make out with me!" I cried harder and stopped to swallow the lump in my throat before I continued again. "It's because I'm wolfless and I'm not even his mate! I have nothing- he hates me," "He doesn't hate you," She tried to assure me. "He just doesn't understand-" "Understand what?" I cried. "I don't understand either. Make me understand-" "Irene!" She grabbed my face again and stared into my eyes. "You can't force your destiny. When the time is right, you'll understand. I have faith in you, Irene." I didn't even have faith in myself but her tone was convincing and the way she stared at me with no joke. She wiped my tears again and I didn't have the heart to produce any more. "Trust me, my dear. You're Luna now and I'm sure you'll be more powerful than ever before." I held onto her words and made them my strength but as the days rolled by, my frustration was beyond me that I would lock myself in my room- as Karson never returned- and cried. Our matrimonial bed had become my personal bed. The room we were supposed to share was now my own room. The only time we bumped into each other was during breakfast where we ate in silence or going past his office to mine. The Luna position came with a lot of responsibility and I was still being eased into it. But with Karson's attitude still on my mind, I was always mentally and emotionally stressed by the end of each day. "Luna, is everything alright?" I snapped out of my thoughts at the Beta's voice. Wayne stared at me with a worried look. He had been in my office for a few minutes now but I could hardly recall the issue he had raised. "I'm sorry," I hurriedly apologized and dropped my pen on the desk, giving him my full attention. "I'm fine. You were saying?" He didn't look the least convinced but he had to go on either way. He smiled and the wrinkles around his mouth stretched. He had gotten very old over the years, I guess it was time for him to retire but that was his and Karson's decision to make. "Maybe you should get some rest later,"he suggested and I could only offer him a smile. "I was asking your opinion about weapon storage in the Pack. While we don't have any impending threats, I was thinking it wouldn't be bad to restock and increase our budget." "A few of our warriors with friends from other packs have mentioned the endless amount of weapons over there. I'm afraid they feel ours is lacking behind," he explained. "I understand. But having an endless amount of weapons calls for a higher maintenance budget. If we do that, the tax will increase, the pack members will suffer and all we'll have are weapons while exploiting others," I sighed. "We're building a nation not a military zone. Even during war, we can have enough money and gain the upper hand." "I'm afraid I'll have to decline the request to stock more weapons. Instead, could we cover it by high maintenance of what we already have?" I suggested. Beta Wayne was already nodding with a satisfied smile on his face, "Yes, that could work. You're right. You're a blessing to us, Irene. Our budget is in safe hands. Our Alpha is really lucky to have you by his side." I smiled in response to his words and watched him excuse himself. It was only fair to have brains, in my opinion. After discovering I was wolfless, I trained myself in other ways to help strengthen the Pack and I knew I was successful each time I received praises. Even worse, there was something strange that I had started to notice. Wayne's daughter visited Alpha Karson every day. "Where is the Alpha, Joan?" I asked the maid that served my tea. "He's in his office, Luna," she fidgeted for a while, biting her lip. "With who?" I already knew what she wanted to say. The thought of her answer was already making me squeeze the document I was holding. "Lexie, Luna Irene," she replied in a murmur. I offered her a smile, "Thank you. You can go now." She bowed before rushing out of my office. I leaned back on my seat with a hand over my face and a tired sigh leaving my lips. Her constant visits to the Alpha's study was becoming alarming. They spent every minute together and he rarely had lunch or dinner with me. Her giggles were loud and every time I heard it, I could hear my heart breaking but I would lift my chin and wear a smile. I had loved Karson for years and a little thing like this shouldn't be able to shake me. I shrugged it off my shoulders and tried to concentrate on my duties. I successfully distracted myself till evening but soon came the migraines that were impossible to ignore. I called it a night and started to walk down the hallway. When I approached Karson's door, my heart began to pound. I wondered if he was still in and if he was with her. It was almost 9p.m already and she was supposed to be at home. Besides, I was yet to have dinner and I wondered if he had eaten too. He had successfully avoided me for a whole month, sharing his attention between his work and Lexie. It was strange to think about but I didn't want to ponder on that. Especially when my thoughts would play detective, questioning itself if she was his mate or not. But she wasn't of age yet for him to find out. That was the only thread of hope that I clung onto. "Maybe I could ask if we could have dinner together," I wondered and I slowed down when I got to his door. Karson's scent was faint but it tickled my nose either way, making my niples hard and my core already wet. Being wolfless, I could hardly distinguish between people by their scent nor could I smell everyone but Karson's scent was one I had thought myself to remember. His scent was like wild roses in an open field while Aunt Teresa's scent was warm and sunny. I cherished the little gift I had from having two werewolf parents as Aunt Teresa had told me. We never spoke much about them and I wondered why. All I knew was that they were good people who would do anything for the ones they loved. Sometimes, I wondered if they didn't love me enough to stay alive. Exhaling softly, I held the cold door knob of Karson's office and I pushed it open. "Karson, I was wondering if you'd like to have dinner with-" The rest of the words died in my throat. My eyes widened and I heard my own heart shatter. Dizziness washed over me and my knees wobbled but I gripped the door hard to keep standing. Karson had Lexie in his arms in a hug while he backed her against his desk. His mouth was on her neck and the way she held onto him tightly as if she was in slight pain, I could already tell what was going on. The mate bite he had refused to give me, he was bestowing it upon her. He had marked her without even stopping to consider our mating ceremony- Was she... No! I shook my head even as my thoughts already confirmed it. My lips trembled as tears filled my eyes at the realization. Karson was hel bent upon meeting his mate. He hates our arranged marriage because he didn't have the chance to find his destined mate. She was his mate. The sight before my eyes was growing on my pierced heart that continued to shatter even more. The sight burned right into my head that I was sure I could never forget it even if I were to lose my memory today. I would at least remember that the only man I had ever loved, had finally found his mate and I was nothing to him. I stepped away from the door like it would explode at any minute. "You're only my mother's choice," his words before our mating ceremony began to hunt me. My breathing became ragged and I clutched my chast, tugging at the neck of my dress as I found it hard to breathe. I staggered backwards with eyes wide in horror. I turned and ran into my room, slamming the door behind me. I sagged to the floor with my knees hunched up to my chast. My hands shook and so did my shoulders. The tears fell and all I could do was stare into my palm before slowly placing it over my face. Chapter 3 IRENE'S POV The pain I felt was like a deep hollow of nothingness that delved deeper and deeper even when I tried not to think about last night. The image was engraved in my head. I hadn't slept a wink. I sat up in my bed all night with my thoughts all over hel's half acre. My shoulders were slumped and my hair was let loose to drop down, covering the side of my face. There was a knock on my door but I didn't lift my eyes from the sheets. The knock sounded again and it took a while to recover. I lifted my gaze and sighed, drilling a hole into the door. I didn't want any visitors. I simply wished to sit in my bed all day but that couldn't happen. I muttered a weak "come in," and mentally mocked my sorry tone. "Luna?" A maid stepped in and I locked eyes with her. She gasped with her eyes going wide for a brief second before she lowered her eyes. Did I really look that bad in just one night? "B-breakfast has been served and the Alpha's mother has asked me to come fetch you," she stuttered. "I see," I sighed again and started to drag myself out of bed. My knees were weak from holding me up. "Bring out something for me to wear and... Some make-up for my face." "Y-Yes, Luna!" I showered quickly and dressed up fast. When I stared into the mirror, I shook my head at my sorry self. My eye bags were bad and there were dark circles too. I looked like I had been crying all night. The maid helped in applying the pancake and covering it up. I thanked her and rushed for breakfast after practicing my smile in the mirror. I was going to act like there was no weight in my heart and no turbulence in my head. But my smile froze when I got to the table. Lexie was laughing with Aunty and Karson had a smile on his face while he ate- that was something that had never happened. "Oh, Luna," Lexie's voice was high and she sounded elated. "You're here. We've been waiting for you. Breakfast is almost cold." She was a very pretty young woman with bob brown hair, an oblong face, love shaped bow lip and her body figure was very matured. Her b00bs were bigger than mine and so were her legs. This was probably Karson's type. What was she doing here? Why was she here? She had no right to be here- unless... "Lexie, here, joined us for breakfast," Aunt explained. She probably read the confusion on my face. "Sorry, if it's uncomfortable for you," Lexie said and nervously rubbed her hand on her neck. I saw it. She knew I saw it. The band-aid on her neck was no joke. I had lost Karson and she was making that clear. She didn't have breakfast with us every other day. It was just that one time but it sent a clear message to me. My days in his life were numbered. I went down for breakfast with a thudding heart and anxiousness in my womb. Their silence was taking a toll on me. I wondered if it was their plan to drive me mad so they could find an excuse to kick me out but Karson didn't need an excuse to get rid of me. He could do it whenever he wanted since he had found his mate. So why was he holding back? Why were they keeping their affair a secret? My thoughts were ferocious and they showed no mercy. A minute of idleness and I was sinking deep into depression. I picked up more work than usual. An attempt to keep my mind occupied and busy was starting to weigh down on me. I left my office by 2a.m. every day, only to return by 8a.m. I had no complaints whatsoever but after a week, I noticed the workload started to reduce. The usual heap of files I arranged for myself were halved and I was rounding off sooner than I wanted. "Raphael, why is there so little work to do?" I voiced my complaints to the Gamma of the Pack. He was arranging a few files for me to check out and I was already frowning at how little they were. "Shouldn't you be happy?" He asked instead. "You've been working too much of late," he was one of the few who could speak freely to me despite my Luna title. He was a good friend of mine despite still being Karson's Gamma. "I'm not complaining," I told him. "What happened to all the work?" I wanted to sink into work and nothing more. It was my only means of escape at this point. "Well, Alpha Karson shared some of your Luna duties to Lexie-" "What?" I must've misheard. I refused to believe my ears. "What did you just say?" Raphael met my gaze with caution. He was probably debating whether or not to repeat that. In the end, he did. "But, I don't understand... Am I doing something wrong? Did I make a mistake somewhere-" "No, never. Irene, you're perfect. You've been doing everything right from the very beginning," he encouraged, pulling me out from the hands of criticism that my thoughts had wrapped around me. "Then why? I am Luna. Only Luna should handle Luna affairs," I said more to myself, trying to understand the situation and give reasons why it wasn't even making any sense. Raphael glanced away for a moment and my heart sank. "You've been noticing it too, haven't you?" "I'm sorry. I didn't want to tell you so you wouldn't worry so much," He made an apologetic face. "I simply carried out the order. Maybe you could ask him sometime," he suggested. "Would you like to go for a walk? To clear your mind at least?" This was happening too fast for me to wrap my head around. I swallowed hard as I looked around my office. Since when was there a deputy Luna? What was Karson's aim in all of this? Was he trying to ridicule my position or make me know my place? I nodded and he smiled, turning away immediately. "Would you like ice cream or sandwich along the way-" "R-Raphael?" I called and stepped out from behind my desk. He was already at the door when he turned to face me. " Let's go for a smooke break instead," I needed another form of distraction since Karson had taken this one away from me. "What do you mean?" He asked, sounding suspicious. "I want to smooke too." *** My workload reduced as my deputy Luna took her work seriously. Day by day I did less work but I occupied myself with smooking in my bathroom whenever I could. It was relaxing and it helped me let out some steam. I was in my room by 6pm. that evening, smooking again when I heard a knock on the door. I froze for a moment, looking at the door with furrowed brows. I wasn't expecting anyone. Plus Karson never came here. He had his own room now. "Who is it-" "Irene, dear? Can I come in?" Aunt Teresa's voice had me slamming the ci9arette on the ashtray. I carried it to the bathroom and dumped it in the sink. I rushed out and grabbed my perfumes, spraying the air with my heart beating wildly in my chast. After I sniffed the air and made sure the ci9arette smell was gone, I took a deep breath and opened the door. Her shiny face and warm smile came into view. She stood in a composed manner with her head tipped up. Aunty could never be caught without the aura and grace of a queen. I ushered her in with more enthusiasm than normal and I hoped she wouldn't notice. "You finished your duties a little early. That's good. Why didn't you come over to my room so we could talk?" She wondered, heading to the dropped curtains. "It's quite dark in here," she mumbled to herself and spread the curtain open. I raised a hand to shield my eyes from the light. I preferred the dark and gloomy area. It was a perfect place to hide my shame. How could I even look at myself in the mirror and call myself a Luna? I was a sorry excuse for one. "I didn't want to disturb you with my issues," I intertwined my fingers over my legs as I stood by the door with my eyes on the floor of where she was. She turned her body in my direction, "Oh? That's a first. Is something going on?" Something? More than enough was going on and I doubted Aunty even knew half of it. "Not at all," I shook my head. If Karson wouldn't tell her, then I wouldn't dare to mention it. Aunt Teresa was a supportive mother to both Karson and I. I wondered how she would react to Karson finally finding his mate. I wouldn't want to put her at a crossroad. Actually, I think I just couldn't bear the thought of Aunt Teresa picking Lexie over me. It hurt that Karson already did but it would hurt me more and rip my heart out if the only mother figure I've known all my life were to discard me like I meant nothing. "It's your birthday tomorrow," she announced. "Did you forget?" "Oh," a day I had always looked forward to was now insignificant to me. "I guess I did." She sighed, "Perhaps are you working too much, Irene?" I almost scoffed with my vision blurred with tears, "No, that's impossible. I'm not even doing nearly enough." "What do you mean? You work everyday and you're doing good," she defended. "Are you crying again?" I couldn't help it. My chin was trembling as I tried to hold back my tears. It felt as though a dam was about to break. I felt like a worthless piece of crap. Karson couldn't even trust me with Luna duties anymore, he handed them over to that other woman. What was I thinking? I was actually the "other woman" in their relationship. I was an outsider who could never take the place of his mate. Not that I even wanted to try- far from it! I just wanted Karson to acknowledge my love for him and my efforts to make him happy and satisfied. Was that really too much to ask? I was in Aunt Teresa's embrace by the time I recovered myself. She wrapped her arms around me as I tried to control my sobs. "Don't doubt yourself so much, my dear. Everything will be just fine," she reassured and I nodded even though I knew things wouldn't be fine. They would only get worse and worse with each passing day. I made up my mind to confront Karson about what he had done rather than allow myself to wallow and sink further into self pity and doubt. Aunt Teresa left after informing me she would be returning from a short trip tomorrow evening to celebrate my birthday with me. I took a shower and by evening I was heading to Karson's room. My head was throbbing from a dull headache that had become a constant thing every evening for a week now and my temperature was quite high. I made it to Karson's room and after practicing controlled breathing up to five times, I knocked. "Come in," his voice was soft and it made my heart melt. For a second there I wondered if he was expecting someone else. I walked into his room with his scent hitting me first. It's been a while since I stepped into his personal space. The last time I did that, I nearly had a heart attack from what I saw. Karson was seated on his king sized bed with his head turned to a document. He had moved back to his old room. While everything was familiar in here, the one thing that wasn't was this hot man in nothing but his dark blue pants. I almost drooled just by staring at his chast and bulging muscles. When next would I get to touch his body- "I suppose you didn't come here to stare, right?" His voice interrupted my thoughts and gone was the soft tone that I had received outside the door. He was back to his usual self and cold tone especially with the way he gazed at me with no atom of smile on his face. I summon my courage, "Right. I came because I need answers. You handed part of my duties to Lexie and I'd appreciate it if you could tell me why." His brow arched in a silent question, "It's been a week already. Why is it suddenly so important to know?" He was right. I had taken too long to question him. I should've headed into his office the first time I heard the news. "I know. I've only been wondering if there was something I wasn't doing right," I stated while trying to keep a straight face. "So I took the time to look inwards and question myself-" "There's no need for you to do that, Irene," he tilted his head. "You've managed the Packs finances very well while making sure there's adequate supply of everyone's needs." His compliment left me stunned as I never expected it from him. "Then," I took a step closer. "Why is Lexie acting as a deputy Luna? It is unheard of that Luna's duties are given to someone else. Is there something I should know-" "If that'll be all, I'd like to get back to my duties now. As you can see," he lifted the document slightly. "I'm still occupied." I gaped at him in shock. He was openly dismissing my question about Lexie. Was this what it had come to? "It's my birthday tomorrow," I announced with my eyes on the sheets, wondering if he had ever taken Lexie here and did to her what he did with me during the night of our mating ceremony. Was he more pasionate and gentle? Did he hold her after- I let out a harsh breath as there was nothing but silence. He had turned his attention back to his work and it showed that I wasn't needed here anymore. I quietly left his room and I doubted he even noticed that I was gone. I spent the night with a high fever and a headache but by morning after throwing up a few times, I realized what my condition was. I threw out the ci9arettes and got rid of the ash tray. I got naked and stood in front of a mirror. My breests were fuller and my niples had spread and were wider. Karson would've noticed if he had spared me a minute or more of his time for a little visit. I needed to get out of here. This place was no longer my home. It was only a matter of time before Karson would welcome his mate to his side and she would be made Luna as soon as possible. There was nothing left for me here; not in the pack and not even by his side. I did the only thing I could do at this point; the only thing Karson would appreciate and probably love me for someday... I ran. Chapter 4 IRENE'S POV FIVE YEARS LATER "Carl! Karin! Mummy's leaving!" The nanny announced with a loud voice and in less than two seconds, two preschoolers ran out with their chubby cheeks. The boy- Carl- was holding his favorite dinosaur toy with his black hair disheveled on his head. His smile was wide as he ran out and his arms opened wide while Karin- the girl- had her usual frown on her face. She practically glared at everything as she approached. I squatted before the couch as they approached me. I wrapped my arms around them, pulling them into a hug when they got closer. "M-Mummy," Carl stuttered excitedly. When I pulled away and stared into their faces, Karin was wearing a smile. She only ever smiled when she was around me. The nanny was already complaining that she was scared of her. But what could a four year old do to a full grown woman? "Karin, did you pull your brother's hair again?" I arched my brows and she tensed with her smile freezing on her face. Her dark hair was in two ponytails. I wondered how long it had taken Nanny May to successfully do that. She shook her head aggressively and I glanced at Carl who was already playing with his dinosaur. Ignoring our conversation like it was past tense to him. "Are you lying?" I tried again and when she nodded, I covered my face with a smile. "Your honesty is appreciated but you have to stop pulling his hair. You'll turn him into an old man." I could feel my wolf smiling proudly as we stared at the duo who almost never got along. It almost reminded me of the relationship I had with their father. "Anyways!" I said to my pups and to my thoughts but that got their attention anyways. "I'm leaving-" "Where?" Karin's frown was back on her face- she was the bossy one- and Carl looked like he was about to start crying. "N-No no, I'll be back soon, I promise. I have to meet up with the Alpha," I touched their cheeks and brought them closer for a kiss. "Remember, do not shift before anyone except me, okay?" I repeated the only rule we had and they nodded in silence. "Thank you, baby," I kissed their foreheads and spoke loudly this time, "Make sure to listen to Nanny May, okay?" But they were already running away before I could get the words out. I stepped out of the house with a weird feeling in my chast. It always felt this way whenever I had to leave them with anyone even for a second. Especially now that I'd be away for two nights. I trusted the twins not to break the rule but it was concerning to think about. They were only four years old. Since when did four year olds start to shift? Heck! I didn't even get my wolf until after I gave birth. It was a whole new experience for me, especially trying to connect with her. The link between us was like a thin thread but it had gradually advanced over the years. "Ready to go?" I was pulled out of my thoughts at the sound of my Alpha's voice. A bulky man with light brown skin and wild hair. Despite being in his thirties, he didn't look a day over twenty. He still looked so young and agile. Alpha Lucas was leaning over his Jeep and I rushed to him. We got into the car and drove down to where the meeting was supposed to take place. It was the third cross pack meeting our Pack would hold after five years and I was really looking forward to it. I had received his orders to participate and I had already prepared my speech but my stomach still tied itself in a knot due to nervousness. It had been a long time since I was made to handle such responsibility. I knew I was once Luna for The Nightcrawlers Pride and I delivered speeches to the Pack during the time I was there but that was a long time ago. We arrived at the hotel scheduled for the meeting in less than two hours and the hall was already filled with Alpha's of different pack's and their Beta's, talking and catching up while others were getting to know each other. "You look nervous," Alpha Lucas leaned down to whisper close to my ears. I blinked up at him, a bit uncomfortable by his sudden closures and he smiled, taking a step back. "Is it that obvious?" My cheeks were flushed from the idea of everyone reading my body language. I had gained a few of their attention but I lifted my head and avoided their gaze. I knew how Alpha's could get with their ego's. I wouldn't want to step on toes here. "Only to me," he shrugged. "But you look elegant and calm like a Luna," he complimented and I smiled tightly at the use of that title. No one in The Howlers Pack knew of my past. When I ended up here five years ago, I was almost knocked over by his car. He took me in as a rogue who had decided to acknowledge an Alpha and we've not once talked about my past, not even when I found out I was pre9nant. "You say the loveliest things to me, Alpha Lucas," I told him and I really meant it. He was like that guardian angel that kept cheering me on. "You know I would say even lovelier things and do much more for you if you agree to be my mate," he tried again with a daunting smile on his lips. He was a very good looking man who could get away with anything if he smiled. It was sad to know he lost his mate several years ago and he never spoke about her. He was convinced I was his second chance mate and he had been trying, for what three to four years now? I had lost count of how many times he had tried to convince me but each time I repeated the same old lines. "You're talking to a-" "...a brick wall whose heart can never beat again," he rolled his eyes as he finished my lines. "I know, I know. I've heard that before. Sometimes I wish I could find the basstard who dared to break your heart and make him pay." I laughed, placing a hand on his arm. It was funny hearing him say that and also very sweet. He cared deeply about me and I knew I could never repay his kindness in the way he wanted. "Can I see the list of Pack's that'll be attending?" I asked, changing the topic and he went along with it. He handed me a book that had all the twenty lists of Pack names with their Alpha and I scanned them. Eighteen out of twenty had already ticked in while two were left out. "Black Might Pack- Alpha John and Beta Phillip," I mumbled, reading to myself. "And The Nightcrawlers Pride," I froze and stopped breathing. I caught a whiff of something familiar in the air. It sparked memories that I had sought to bury. The scent of wild rose filled my nose and I gulped as I slowly lifted my gaze towards the door. I held the gaze of familiar black eyes that made my heart slowly start beating again before picking up the pace. He occupied the whole room and everyone else disappeared. He scanned the room as he buttoned his black suit that hugged his wide frame. His eyes landed on mine and I felt my heart skip a nervous beat. He was staring and I couldn't bring myself to look away. Could he recognise me? I wasn't the same woman when I left the pack five years ago. I was way different as my body had developed and I had added flesh in all the right places. Still he stared like he knew and I saw recognition flash in his orbs. "Irene, are you okay?" I felt Alpha Lucas place a hand on my shoulder with his tone filled with worry and just like that, Karson's brows furrowed in a deep frown as his eyes darted back and forth in an angry and suspicious stare between me and my new Alpha.	LEARN_MORE	https://befant.com/market/buenovela/3?lpid=14374&u	Indulge in story	https://www.facebook.com/61552702618591/	832	1969-12-31 18:00	Learn More	befant.com	DCO		https://befant.com/market/buenovela/3?lpid=14374&utm_campaign={{campaign.name}}&utm_content={{campaign.id}}&adset_name={{adset.name}}&adset_id={{adset.id}}&ad_id={{ad.id}}&ad_name={{ad.name}}&placement={{placement}}	1969-12-31 18:00	https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.35426-6/461262119_567752125679105_1113191889968315431_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s60x60&_nc_cat=104&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=c53f8f&_nc_ohc=G_JfDZxWb2YQ7kNvgEYDK-U&_nc_zt=14&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-1.xx&_nc_gid=AQR9FKvZ9zZReyu3FVON9V5&oh=00_AYCFQ2mPndz2b-VzZYk9q78di--uEQv5AE3ANk0DCgCF1g&oe=6730E474	PERSON_PROFILE	0	Indulge in story	1969-12-31 18:00	View Edit Delete
2,378,769	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) '{"alias":2378777}'	Yes	2024-11-06 00:42	active	1739	🔥🔥Click to read the next chapter for free👉	Chapter 1 IRENE'S POV My chast heaved with rapid breaths, my eyes fluttered close. My lips fell open and a moan squeezed past my throat. My fingers were working overtime as I pushed them in and out of my wetness with my legs spread apart in bed. I bit the corners of my lips as I threaded my fingers through my hair, gripping them a bit hard like I suspected he would. I imagined his hands on me instead. His long fingers sliding in and out, coated with my juices. He would stroke my insides while holding my legs apart. "Karson," I moaned when his image was all I could see. I reached out my hand to touch him. To touch his rock hard body and trail my fingers down his chast to the V-line where his towel had hung loose. His scent was buried in my memory. All it took was one sniff and here I was, moaning to this man and bucking my hiips. He looked so much better. His face was more defined and he grew so handsome in a short while. His shoulders were broad and wide. He had a perfect figure and toned body. I increased my pace and I gasped when I found it. I slapped a hand over my mouth. The rising heat in the lower part of my stomach increased. Tears rolled down my face. I craved his touch, his fire. My body ached for his attention, the warmth in his eyes, I desired nothing more- My toes curled and I jerrked my hiips as my body convulsed. I bit into my palm as my orggasm rolled out of me. It took a while to recover. I was breathing hard and trying to gather myself again. This was the state he left me in. every single time we bumped into each other. Just a whiff of his scent and I was squirming for his touch. I almost felt terrible for including him in my little session but he was all I could think about. I've been masturbatting frequently now. My mating ceremony to the man of my fantasies was today. One part of me was pleased and happy with the fact that I would have my long time dream come true; being mated to Karson. He was the soon to be Alpha of The Nightcrawlers Pride. I didn't care about his title, that wasn't the reason I loved him. With or without his title, I was bound to be drawn to him. While one part was pleased, the other part was devastated. As much as I wanted to be his mate, I wasn't. Even worse, Karson seemed to think that I had bewitched Luna- his mother- into arranging our marriage. "She's wolfless, mother," he had said during dinner tonight. His contempt was loud, his mock even louder. I withdrew my hands from the table and hid them under with my head lowered at the usual confrontation. "I know," Luna Teresa's reply was calm like she was unaffected by her son's cruel words. I wished his words wouldn't affect me at all. Yet every time he opened his mouth, I was close to tears. Maybe if I loved him any less, I would have tougher skin and wouldn't be running to my room crying like a three year old. He was right. I was wolfless. It wasn't impossible for a werewolf not to have a wolf, it was just rare to find and even rarer for that wolfless wolf to be Luna, ruling over a powerful pack as The Nightcrawlers Pride. According to the book of records in the Pack, I would be the first wolfless Luna. While breaking a record didn't seem too bad, this wasn't exactly the kind of record I would be boastful of. "Yet you would subject your only son and heir to the Pride Family Pack to this fate?" Karson had asked his mother in an accusing tone that made me stop feeling sorry for myself but sorry for her. A wolfless mate meant one of two things; There was a high chance of birthing a wolfless pup and there was a lower chance of birthing a pup- in this case, the next Alpha. I squeezed my dress in a fist. The pressure that was upon my shoulders was more than anyone could ever imagine. "I have strong faith in our genes," Aunt Teresa- as I'd come to know her, smirked. "After all, your father's family were all Alpha's, down to his mother. So you're from a thick and strong Alpha bloodline. I have faith in you-" "My goodness!" Karson huffed in disbelief. "Can you hear yourself, mother? You're betting everything away for her?" I wanted the soft dining chair that had suddenly grown cold under my bvtt to swallow me. "What’s so special about her anyways!" I've heard that before. It shouldn't be anything new. I've cried my eyes out to those words yet every time he asked, it was a whole different feeling than I had bargained for. I was plain. I had no scent, no wolf, no family. There was literally nothing to my name. All I had was everything Aunt Teresa had given to me since I was five. My parents died in a war and Luna had been so kind as to take me in. She couldn't recall my last name so she gave me Pride instead. I was already sharing a last name with the man I came to love. Karson and I lived under the same roof. Growing up around him had been okay. He never showed me this hate, he never even spoke to me except when we were at the table. But ever since he returned from his training where he stayed away to be Alpha for three years, things had gone down the drain. "This is your doing, isn't it?" I stiffened at his words and finally lifted my gaze. The anger and hate in his eyes was enough to let a tear slide down my eye. He was convinced I had bewitched Luna. After all, why would she decide to kil her own bloodline that had been passed down for years? I quickly wiped my eyes. I didn't want Luna to notice plus Karson would scold me and be cross at me if his mother confronted him about making me cry. I fear he was already running from my reach before I could even stretch out my hands. "I'm sorry, I have no hand in this," I said either way, knowing fully well that he wouldn't believe me. "Don't apologize for things that are beyond your control, Irene," Aunt Teresa wiped her mouth with her napkin and rose to her feet. "You two will be just fine. The mating ceremony is in a few days. Get to know yourselves a lot better," with her little advice, she walked away, allowing fear to step in. Karson would eat me alive now that we were alone. I wanted to run after Aunty but I knew it would be childish- "Don’t get any ideas in your head," Karson stated and I turned my attention to him. His words pierced me like a hot thin needle. "You're only my mother's choice. Once I find my mate, I'll have her as my Luna and you'll step down." I gulped and started to nod slowly at his words. "I don't need you to agree, Irene," he scoffed, reminding me that I didn't have a choice and that he called all the shots. "That's just the way it's supposed to be. Think of this as a way of repaying my mother's kindness all those years." Karson got up and walked out of the table. I tried my hardest to understand him. I guess, in a way, his hate was justified. He returned from his Alpha training only to discover he was arranged to be married. He was stripped of the chance to find his mate and he was stuck with someone as useless as myself. His words, his attitude had screamed one thing. 'Know your place, Irene,' and I read the message loud and clear. ************** Our mating ceremony was a long and torturous one for me. The Pack congratulated us endlessly and the smile I plastered on my face should leave a mark by morning. Karson stood stiffly by my side. We were now the new Alpha and Luna of The Nightcrawlers Pride and we were expected to carry out our duties immediately. While no one would say it, I knew that the 'baby making process' was expected as well. We headed to our new room to commence and mark the final activity for the mating ceremony. A day that I had looked forward to all my life. I was nervous and it didn't seem like a good one. I didn't know what to expect but I was already wet, my niples had rolled into tight buds and they tried to gain attention and drill a hole through my outfit. I stepped into the room before him. "I'll be right back," he said and I nodded, closing the door behind me. Immediately, I dashed to the bathroom and took a shower. I couldn't afford this moment to be ruined. I wrapped the towel around my chast and got out of the shower. My heart hammered in my chast. Karson was staring at me with his undivided attention. His gaze dropped lower and I tightened my hand around my towel. The air was thick and in an instant, he was taking long strides towards me. I met him half way and while my hands reached out to touch his face and pull him into a kiss, his hand grabbed my towel and he yanked it off. I gasped in shock but his hands grabbed my brreasts. I was immediately enveloped in the feel of him. I wrapped my hands around his back as he licked and softly nibbled on my hard niples. His rough hands trailed down my body and kicked my legs apart. He slid two fingers into my core and I gasped at the sudden intrusion. "How are you so wet?" He mumbled to himself. I couldn't breathe. His fingers were bigger than mine so they stretched me more than I had ever done to myself. I felt so full and I hadn't even had the real thing yet. He pumped into me hard and fast, soon my legs shook and my eyes were fluttering close. "Karson," I wanted it now. I wanted it right now. I wanted his shaft filling me up and I wanted his bite mark over my neck. "Fvcking hel, Irene!" He cursed and roughly pulled out his fingers. He grabbed my wrist and made me climb the bed, he pressed a hand to my waist and I knew what he wanted. I stayed ass up, face down. I was exposed to him in that position with my legs spread apart. I gripped the sheets beside my head and waited impatiently. The sound of his zipper fuelled my rising hunger and soon I felt something cold and hard poke at my entrance. Suddenly alarmed, I started to rise, "Karson, wait I've never-" He thrust his full length into me and my jaw dropped open. "Fvck! How are you so...tight!" Karson forced those words through his teeth. The sharp pain I felt was overwhelmed by the pleasure that came soon after. I felt him all the way to the back of my throat. My insides were stretched to their limit and when he pulled out and slammed back in, hard and fast, a tear rolled down my cheek. It was more than I had imagined. It was blissful. I could almost see it. The way he pulled back with my juices coating his shaft, inviting him to slam back in and when he did, I could only chew my lip and let out moans of pleasure. Our first night was pure fvcking and nothing else. I gripped the sheets as he grabbed my waist to meet and take his every thrust. I was gasping for breath and his thrusts were faster, shorter and harder. I wondered how it was even possible to move his hiips like that. I could barely catch my breath. If I died today, I would die a happy, wolfless wolf who finally married the man of her dreams. I needed his bite mark. "Karson," I managed to get the words out in between gasps and moans. My or9asm was sudden and instant. My body shook and convulsed as he kept up his thrusts. I squeezed my eyes shut as the electricity rolled through my vibrating core, clenching down hard on him and svcking him in. He grew harder under in an instant and I soon felt something warm in my belly and his shaft pulsed like a heart pumping. My body was spent and I was too weak to open my eyes. He pulled out and I let out a weak moan. I waited for his touch to find me but the only thing I heard were his footsteps and soon, the sound of the door opening and then closing- announcing his departure. Karson had left without leaving his mate bite behind. Chapter 2 IRENE'S POV I threw my head over her legs as I sobbed like a child. Her gentle pat landed on my head, over and over again. "It's going to be alright, Irene," Aunt Teresa said in a soothing voice. I shook my head against her hand. I could hear my heart breaking at his rejection and words of comfort reached nowhere near to piecing my heart together. "I mean it, Irene," Aunt Teresa sighed. She was adamant on making me feel good this morning. After Karson walked out of the room, he was yet to return and I just couldn't stand the terrible feeling that plagued my heart. So here I was in Aunt's room, crying my eyes out. "Don't shed so many tears, Irene. Your eyes will be puffy," she grabbed my face and jerrked my head up. I could barely see her through my blurry vision but her face was in a small pout and her brows were knitted in a frown. Her long black hair was let down and she looked like a goddess. "Look at you," she sighed. "You're so pretty, don't ruin your face, Irene." She wiped my tears with her thumb and pressed her lips to my forehead in a kiss. I closed my eyes as I tried to relax into it but more tears only poured out when I remembered that Karson didn't even kiss me. I 9roaned, throwing my head back as I sobbed even harder. "He didn't- hic- he avoided- hic- I don't know why- hic- but he didn't- hic-" "Stop crying, Irene. I can't make out your words-" "He didn't make out with me!" I cried harder and stopped to swallow the lump in my throat before I continued again. "It's because I'm wolfless and I'm not even his mate! I have nothing- he hates me," "He doesn't hate you," She tried to assure me. "He just doesn't understand-" "Understand what?" I cried. "I don't understand either. Make me understand-" "Irene!" She grabbed my face again and stared into my eyes. "You can't force your destiny. When the time is right, you'll understand. I have faith in you, Irene." I didn't even have faith in myself but her tone was convincing and the way she stared at me with no joke. She wiped my tears again and I didn't have the heart to produce any more. "Trust me, my dear. You're Luna now and I'm sure you'll be more powerful than ever before." I held onto her words and made them my strength but as the days rolled by, my frustration was beyond me that I would lock myself in my room- as Karson never returned- and cried. Our matrimonial bed had become my personal bed. The room we were supposed to share was now my own room. The only time we bumped into each other was during breakfast where we ate in silence or going past his office to mine. The Luna position came with a lot of responsibility and I was still being eased into it. But with Karson's attitude still on my mind, I was always mentally and emotionally stressed by the end of each day. "Luna, is everything alright?" I snapped out of my thoughts at the Beta's voice. Wayne stared at me with a worried look. He had been in my office for a few minutes now but I could hardly recall the issue he had raised. "I'm sorry," I hurriedly apologized and dropped my pen on the desk, giving him my full attention. "I'm fine. You were saying?" He didn't look the least convinced but he had to go on either way. He smiled and the wrinkles around his mouth stretched. He had gotten very old over the years, I guess it was time for him to retire but that was his and Karson's decision to make. "Maybe you should get some rest later,"he suggested and I could only offer him a smile. "I was asking your opinion about weapon storage in the Pack. While we don't have any impending threats, I was thinking it wouldn't be bad to restock and increase our budget." "A few of our warriors with friends from other packs have mentioned the endless amount of weapons over there. I'm afraid they feel ours is lacking behind," he explained. "I understand. But having an endless amount of weapons calls for a higher maintenance budget. If we do that, the tax will increase, the pack members will suffer and all we'll have are weapons while exploiting others," I sighed. "We're building a nation not a military zone. Even during war, we can have enough money and gain the upper hand." "I'm afraid I'll have to decline the request to stock more weapons. Instead, could we cover it by high maintenance of what we already have?" I suggested. Beta Wayne was already nodding with a satisfied smile on his face, "Yes, that could work. You're right. You're a blessing to us, Irene. Our budget is in safe hands. Our Alpha is really lucky to have you by his side." I smiled in response to his words and watched him excuse himself. It was only fair to have brains, in my opinion. After discovering I was wolfless, I trained myself in other ways to help strengthen the Pack and I knew I was successful each time I received praises. Even worse, there was something strange that I had started to notice. Wayne's daughter visited Alpha Karson every day. "Where is the Alpha, Joan?" I asked the maid that served my tea. "He's in his office, Luna," she fidgeted for a while, biting her lip. "With who?" I already knew what she wanted to say. The thought of her answer was already making me squeeze the document I was holding. "Lexie, Luna Irene," she replied in a murmur. I offered her a smile, "Thank you. You can go now." She bowed before rushing out of my office. I leaned back on my seat with a hand over my face and a tired sigh leaving my lips. Her constant visits to the Alpha's study was becoming alarming. They spent every minute together and he rarely had lunch or dinner with me. Her giggles were loud and every time I heard it, I could hear my heart breaking but I would lift my chin and wear a smile. I had loved Karson for years and a little thing like this shouldn't be able to shake me. I shrugged it off my shoulders and tried to concentrate on my duties. I successfully distracted myself till evening but soon came the migraines that were impossible to ignore. I called it a night and started to walk down the hallway. When I approached Karson's door, my heart began to pound. I wondered if he was still in and if he was with her. It was almost 9p.m already and she was supposed to be at home. Besides, I was yet to have dinner and I wondered if he had eaten too. He had successfully avoided me for a whole month, sharing his attention between his work and Lexie. It was strange to think about but I didn't want to ponder on that. Especially when my thoughts would play detective, questioning itself if she was his mate or not. But she wasn't of age yet for him to find out. That was the only thread of hope that I clung onto. "Maybe I could ask if we could have dinner together," I wondered and I slowed down when I got to his door. Karson's scent was faint but it tickled my nose either way, making my niples hard and my core already wet. Being wolfless, I could hardly distinguish between people by their scent nor could I smell everyone but Karson's scent was one I had thought myself to remember. His scent was like wild roses in an open field while Aunt Teresa's scent was warm and sunny. I cherished the little gift I had from having two werewolf parents as Aunt Teresa had told me. We never spoke much about them and I wondered why. All I knew was that they were good people who would do anything for the ones they loved. Sometimes, I wondered if they didn't love me enough to stay alive. Exhaling softly, I held the cold door knob of Karson's office and I pushed it open. "Karson, I was wondering if you'd like to have dinner with-" The rest of the words died in my throat. My eyes widened and I heard my own heart shatter. Dizziness washed over me and my knees wobbled but I gripped the door hard to keep standing. Karson had Lexie in his arms in a hug while he backed her against his desk. His mouth was on her neck and the way she held onto him tightly as if she was in slight pain, I could already tell what was going on. The mate bite he had refused to give me, he was bestowing it upon her. He had marked her without even stopping to consider our mating ceremony- Was she... No! I shook my head even as my thoughts already confirmed it. My lips trembled as tears filled my eyes at the realization. Karson was hel bent upon meeting his mate. He hates our arranged marriage because he didn't have the chance to find his destined mate. She was his mate. The sight before my eyes was growing on my pierced heart that continued to shatter even more. The sight burned right into my head that I was sure I could never forget it even if I were to lose my memory today. I would at least remember that the only man I had ever loved, had finally found his mate and I was nothing to him. I stepped away from the door like it would explode at any minute. "You're only my mother's choice," his words before our mating ceremony began to hunt me. My breathing became ragged and I clutched my chast, tugging at the neck of my dress as I found it hard to breathe. I staggered backwards with eyes wide in horror. I turned and ran into my room, slamming the door behind me. I sagged to the floor with my knees hunched up to my chast. My hands shook and so did my shoulders. The tears fell and all I could do was stare into my palm before slowly placing it over my face. Chapter 3 IRENE'S POV The pain I felt was like a deep hollow of nothingness that delved deeper and deeper even when I tried not to think about last night. The image was engraved in my head. I hadn't slept a wink. I sat up in my bed all night with my thoughts all over hel's half acre. My shoulders were slumped and my hair was let loose to drop down, covering the side of my face. There was a knock on my door but I didn't lift my eyes from the sheets. The knock sounded again and it took a while to recover. I lifted my gaze and sighed, drilling a hole into the door. I didn't want any visitors. I simply wished to sit in my bed all day but that couldn't happen. I muttered a weak "come in," and mentally mocked my sorry tone. "Luna?" A maid stepped in and I locked eyes with her. She gasped with her eyes going wide for a brief second before she lowered her eyes. Did I really look that bad in just one night? "B-breakfast has been served and the Alpha's mother has asked me to come fetch you," she stuttered. "I see," I sighed again and started to drag myself out of bed. My knees were weak from holding me up. "Bring out something for me to wear and... Some make-up for my face." "Y-Yes, Luna!" I showered quickly and dressed up fast. When I stared into the mirror, I shook my head at my sorry self. My eye bags were bad and there were dark circles too. I looked like I had been crying all night. The maid helped in applying the pancake and covering it up. I thanked her and rushed for breakfast after practicing my smile in the mirror. I was going to act like there was no weight in my heart and no turbulence in my head. But my smile froze when I got to the table. Lexie was laughing with Aunty and Karson had a smile on his face while he ate- that was something that had never happened. "Oh, Luna," Lexie's voice was high and she sounded elated. "You're here. We've been waiting for you. Breakfast is almost cold." She was a very pretty young woman with bob brown hair, an oblong face, love shaped bow lip and her body figure was very matured. Her b00bs were bigger than mine and so were her legs. This was probably Karson's type. What was she doing here? Why was she here? She had no right to be here- unless... "Lexie, here, joined us for breakfast," Aunt explained. She probably read the confusion on my face. "Sorry, if it's uncomfortable for you," Lexie said and nervously rubbed her hand on her neck. I saw it. She knew I saw it. The band-aid on her neck was no joke. I had lost Karson and she was making that clear. She didn't have breakfast with us every other day. It was just that one time but it sent a clear message to me. My days in his life were numbered. I went down for breakfast with a thudding heart and anxiousness in my womb. Their silence was taking a toll on me. I wondered if it was their plan to drive me mad so they could find an excuse to kick me out but Karson didn't need an excuse to get rid of me. He could do it whenever he wanted since he had found his mate. So why was he holding back? Why were they keeping their affair a secret? My thoughts were ferocious and they showed no mercy. A minute of idleness and I was sinking deep into depression. I picked up more work than usual. An attempt to keep my mind occupied and busy was starting to weigh down on me. I left my office by 2a.m. every day, only to return by 8a.m. I had no complaints whatsoever but after a week, I noticed the workload started to reduce. The usual heap of files I arranged for myself were halved and I was rounding off sooner than I wanted. "Raphael, why is there so little work to do?" I voiced my complaints to the Gamma of the Pack. He was arranging a few files for me to check out and I was already frowning at how little they were. "Shouldn't you be happy?" He asked instead. "You've been working too much of late," he was one of the few who could speak freely to me despite my Luna title. He was a good friend of mine despite still being Karson's Gamma. "I'm not complaining," I told him. "What happened to all the work?" I wanted to sink into work and nothing more. It was my only means of escape at this point. "Well, Alpha Karson shared some of your Luna duties to Lexie-" "What?" I must've misheard. I refused to believe my ears. "What did you just say?" Raphael met my gaze with caution. He was probably debating whether or not to repeat that. In the end, he did. "But, I don't understand... Am I doing something wrong? Did I make a mistake somewhere-" "No, never. Irene, you're perfect. You've been doing everything right from the very beginning," he encouraged, pulling me out from the hands of criticism that my thoughts had wrapped around me. "Then why? I am Luna. Only Luna should handle Luna affairs," I said more to myself, trying to understand the situation and give reasons why it wasn't even making any sense. Raphael glanced away for a moment and my heart sank. "You've been noticing it too, haven't you?" "I'm sorry. I didn't want to tell you so you wouldn't worry so much," He made an apologetic face. "I simply carried out the order. Maybe you could ask him sometime," he suggested. "Would you like to go for a walk? To clear your mind at least?" This was happening too fast for me to wrap my head around. I swallowed hard as I looked around my office. Since when was there a deputy Luna? What was Karson's aim in all of this? Was he trying to ridicule my position or make me know my place? I nodded and he smiled, turning away immediately. "Would you like ice cream or sandwich along the way-" "R-Raphael?" I called and stepped out from behind my desk. He was already at the door when he turned to face me. " Let's go for a smooke break instead," I needed another form of distraction since Karson had taken this one away from me. "What do you mean?" He asked, sounding suspicious. "I want to smooke too." *** My workload reduced as my deputy Luna took her work seriously. Day by day I did less work but I occupied myself with smooking in my bathroom whenever I could. It was relaxing and it helped me let out some steam. I was in my room by 6pm. that evening, smooking again when I heard a knock on the door. I froze for a moment, looking at the door with furrowed brows. I wasn't expecting anyone. Plus Karson never came here. He had his own room now. "Who is it-" "Irene, dear? Can I come in?" Aunt Teresa's voice had me slamming the ci9arette on the ashtray. I carried it to the bathroom and dumped it in the sink. I rushed out and grabbed my perfumes, spraying the air with my heart beating wildly in my chast. After I sniffed the air and made sure the ci9arette smell was gone, I took a deep breath and opened the door. Her shiny face and warm smile came into view. She stood in a composed manner with her head tipped up. Aunty could never be caught without the aura and grace of a queen. I ushered her in with more enthusiasm than normal and I hoped she wouldn't notice. "You finished your duties a little early. That's good. Why didn't you come over to my room so we could talk?" She wondered, heading to the dropped curtains. "It's quite dark in here," she mumbled to herself and spread the curtain open. I raised a hand to shield my eyes from the light. I preferred the dark and gloomy area. It was a perfect place to hide my shame. How could I even look at myself in the mirror and call myself a Luna? I was a sorry excuse for one. "I didn't want to disturb you with my issues," I intertwined my fingers over my legs as I stood by the door with my eyes on the floor of where she was. She turned her body in my direction, "Oh? That's a first. Is something going on?" Something? More than enough was going on and I doubted Aunty even knew half of it. "Not at all," I shook my head. If Karson wouldn't tell her, then I wouldn't dare to mention it. Aunt Teresa was a supportive mother to both Karson and I. I wondered how she would react to Karson finally finding his mate. I wouldn't want to put her at a crossroad. Actually, I think I just couldn't bear the thought of Aunt Teresa picking Lexie over me. It hurt that Karson already did but it would hurt me more and rip my heart out if the only mother figure I've known all my life were to discard me like I meant nothing. "It's your birthday tomorrow," she announced. "Did you forget?" "Oh," a day I had always looked forward to was now insignificant to me. "I guess I did." She sighed, "Perhaps are you working too much, Irene?" I almost scoffed with my vision blurred with tears, "No, that's impossible. I'm not even doing nearly enough." "What do you mean? You work everyday and you're doing good," she defended. "Are you crying again?" I couldn't help it. My chin was trembling as I tried to hold back my tears. It felt as though a dam was about to break. I felt like a worthless piece of crap. Karson couldn't even trust me with Luna duties anymore, he handed them over to that other woman. What was I thinking? I was actually the "other woman" in their relationship. I was an outsider who could never take the place of his mate. Not that I even wanted to try- far from it! I just wanted Karson to acknowledge my love for him and my efforts to make him happy and satisfied. Was that really too much to ask? I was in Aunt Teresa's embrace by the time I recovered myself. She wrapped her arms around me as I tried to control my sobs. "Don't doubt yourself so much, my dear. Everything will be just fine," she reassured and I nodded even though I knew things wouldn't be fine. They would only get worse and worse with each passing day. I made up my mind to confront Karson about what he had done rather than allow myself to wallow and sink further into self pity and doubt. Aunt Teresa left after informing me she would be returning from a short trip tomorrow evening to celebrate my birthday with me. I took a shower and by evening I was heading to Karson's room. My head was throbbing from a dull headache that had become a constant thing every evening for a week now and my temperature was quite high. I made it to Karson's room and after practicing controlled breathing up to five times, I knocked. "Come in," his voice was soft and it made my heart melt. For a second there I wondered if he was expecting someone else. I walked into his room with his scent hitting me first. It's been a while since I stepped into his personal space. The last time I did that, I nearly had a heart attack from what I saw. Karson was seated on his king sized bed with his head turned to a document. He had moved back to his old room. While everything was familiar in here, the one thing that wasn't was this hot man in nothing but his dark blue pants. I almost drooled just by staring at his chast and bulging muscles. When next would I get to touch his body- "I suppose you didn't come here to stare, right?" His voice interrupted my thoughts and gone was the soft tone that I had received outside the door. He was back to his usual self and cold tone especially with the way he gazed at me with no atom of smile on his face. I summon my courage, "Right. I came because I need answers. You handed part of my duties to Lexie and I'd appreciate it if you could tell me why." His brow arched in a silent question, "It's been a week already. Why is it suddenly so important to know?" He was right. I had taken too long to question him. I should've headed into his office the first time I heard the news. "I know. I've only been wondering if there was something I wasn't doing right," I stated while trying to keep a straight face. "So I took the time to look inwards and question myself-" "There's no need for you to do that, Irene," he tilted his head. "You've managed the Packs finances very well while making sure there's adequate supply of everyone's needs." His compliment left me stunned as I never expected it from him. "Then," I took a step closer. "Why is Lexie acting as a deputy Luna? It is unheard of that Luna's duties are given to someone else. Is there something I should know-" "If that'll be all, I'd like to get back to my duties now. As you can see," he lifted the document slightly. "I'm still occupied." I gaped at him in shock. He was openly dismissing my question about Lexie. Was this what it had come to? "It's my birthday tomorrow," I announced with my eyes on the sheets, wondering if he had ever taken Lexie here and did to her what he did with me during the night of our mating ceremony. Was he more pasionate and gentle? Did he hold her after- I let out a harsh breath as there was nothing but silence. He had turned his attention back to his work and it showed that I wasn't needed here anymore. I quietly left his room and I doubted he even noticed that I was gone. I spent the night with a high fever and a headache but by morning after throwing up a few times, I realized what my condition was. I threw out the ci9arettes and got rid of the ash tray. I got naked and stood in front of a mirror. My breests were fuller and my niples had spread and were wider. Karson would've noticed if he had spared me a minute or more of his time for a little visit. I needed to get out of here. This place was no longer my home. It was only a matter of time before Karson would welcome his mate to his side and she would be made Luna as soon as possible. There was nothing left for me here; not in the pack and not even by his side. I did the only thing I could do at this point; the only thing Karson would appreciate and probably love me for someday... I ran. Chapter 4 IRENE'S POV FIVE YEARS LATER "Carl! Karin! Mummy's leaving!" The nanny announced with a loud voice and in less than two seconds, two preschoolers ran out with their chubby cheeks. The boy- Carl- was holding his favorite dinosaur toy with his black hair disheveled on his head. His smile was wide as he ran out and his arms opened wide while Karin- the girl- had her usual frown on her face. She practically glared at everything as she approached. I squatted before the couch as they approached me. I wrapped my arms around them, pulling them into a hug when they got closer. "M-Mummy," Carl stuttered excitedly. When I pulled away and stared into their faces, Karin was wearing a smile. She only ever smiled when she was around me. The nanny was already complaining that she was scared of her. But what could a four year old do to a full grown woman? "Karin, did you pull your brother's hair again?" I arched my brows and she tensed with her smile freezing on her face. Her dark hair was in two ponytails. I wondered how long it had taken Nanny May to successfully do that. She shook her head aggressively and I glanced at Carl who was already playing with his dinosaur. Ignoring our conversation like it was past tense to him. "Are you lying?" I tried again and when she nodded, I covered my face with a smile. "Your honesty is appreciated but you have to stop pulling his hair. You'll turn him into an old man." I could feel my wolf smiling proudly as we stared at the duo who almost never got along. It almost reminded me of the relationship I had with their father. "Anyways!" I said to my pups and to my thoughts but that got their attention anyways. "I'm leaving-" "Where?" Karin's frown was back on her face- she was the bossy one- and Carl looked like he was about to start crying. "N-No no, I'll be back soon, I promise. I have to meet up with the Alpha," I touched their cheeks and brought them closer for a kiss. "Remember, do not shift before anyone except me, okay?" I repeated the only rule we had and they nodded in silence. "Thank you, baby," I kissed their foreheads and spoke loudly this time, "Make sure to listen to Nanny May, okay?" But they were already running away before I could get the words out. I stepped out of the house with a weird feeling in my chast. It always felt this way whenever I had to leave them with anyone even for a second. Especially now that I'd be away for two nights. I trusted the twins not to break the rule but it was concerning to think about. They were only four years old. Since when did four year olds start to shift? Heck! I didn't even get my wolf until after I gave birth. It was a whole new experience for me, especially trying to connect with her. The link between us was like a thin thread but it had gradually advanced over the years. "Ready to go?" I was pulled out of my thoughts at the sound of my Alpha's voice. A bulky man with light brown skin and wild hair. Despite being in his thirties, he didn't look a day over twenty. He still looked so young and agile. Alpha Lucas was leaning over his Jeep and I rushed to him. We got into the car and drove down to where the meeting was supposed to take place. It was the third cross pack meeting our Pack would hold after five years and I was really looking forward to it. I had received his orders to participate and I had already prepared my speech but my stomach still tied itself in a knot due to nervousness. It had been a long time since I was made to handle such responsibility. I knew I was once Luna for The Nightcrawlers Pride and I delivered speeches to the Pack during the time I was there but that was a long time ago. We arrived at the hotel scheduled for the meeting in less than two hours and the hall was already filled with Alpha's of different pack's and their Beta's, talking and catching up while others were getting to know each other. "You look nervous," Alpha Lucas leaned down to whisper close to my ears. I blinked up at him, a bit uncomfortable by his sudden closures and he smiled, taking a step back. "Is it that obvious?" My cheeks were flushed from the idea of everyone reading my body language. I had gained a few of their attention but I lifted my head and avoided their gaze. I knew how Alpha's could get with their ego's. I wouldn't want to step on toes here. "Only to me," he shrugged. "But you look elegant and calm like a Luna," he complimented and I smiled tightly at the use of that title. No one in The Howlers Pack knew of my past. When I ended up here five years ago, I was almost knocked over by his car. He took me in as a rogue who had decided to acknowledge an Alpha and we've not once talked about my past, not even when I found out I was pre9nant. "You say the loveliest things to me, Alpha Lucas," I told him and I really meant it. He was like that guardian angel that kept cheering me on. "You know I would say even lovelier things and do much more for you if you agree to be my mate," he tried again with a daunting smile on his lips. He was a very good looking man who could get away with anything if he smiled. It was sad to know he lost his mate several years ago and he never spoke about her. He was convinced I was his second chance mate and he had been trying, for what three to four years now? I had lost count of how many times he had tried to convince me but each time I repeated the same old lines. "You're talking to a-" "...a brick wall whose heart can never beat again," he rolled his eyes as he finished my lines. "I know, I know. I've heard that before. Sometimes I wish I could find the basstard who dared to break your heart and make him pay." I laughed, placing a hand on his arm. It was funny hearing him say that and also very sweet. He cared deeply about me and I knew I could never repay his kindness in the way he wanted. "Can I see the list of Pack's that'll be attending?" I asked, changing the topic and he went along with it. He handed me a book that had all the twenty lists of Pack names with their Alpha and I scanned them. Eighteen out of twenty had already ticked in while two were left out. "Black Might Pack- Alpha John and Beta Phillip," I mumbled, reading to myself. "And The Nightcrawlers Pride," I froze and stopped breathing. I caught a whiff of something familiar in the air. It sparked memories that I had sought to bury. The scent of wild rose filled my nose and I gulped as I slowly lifted my gaze towards the door. I held the gaze of familiar black eyes that made my heart slowly start beating again before picking up the pace. He occupied the whole room and everyone else disappeared. He scanned the room as he buttoned his black suit that hugged his wide frame. His eyes landed on mine and I felt my heart skip a nervous beat. He was staring and I couldn't bring myself to look away. Could he recognise me? I wasn't the same woman when I left the pack five years ago. I was way different as my body had developed and I had added flesh in all the right places. Still he stared like he knew and I saw recognition flash in his orbs. "Irene, are you okay?" I felt Alpha Lucas place a hand on my shoulder with his tone filled with worry and just like that, Karson's brows furrowed in a deep frown as his eyes darted back and forth in an angry and suspicious stare between me and my new Alpha.	LEARN_MORE	https://befant.com/market/buenovela/3?lpid=14374&u	Indulge in story	https://www.facebook.com/61552702618591/	832	1969-12-31 18:00	Learn More	befant.com	DCO		https://befant.com/market/buenovela/3?lpid=14374&utm_campaign={{campaign.name}}&utm_content={{campaign.id}}&adset_name={{adset.name}}&adset_id={{adset.id}}&ad_id={{ad.id}}&ad_name={{ad.name}}&placement={{placement}}	1969-12-31 18:00	https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.35426-6/461262119_567752125679105_1113191889968315431_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s60x60&_nc_cat=104&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=c53f8f&_nc_ohc=G_JfDZxWb2YQ7kNvgEYDK-U&_nc_zt=14&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-1.xx&_nc_gid=AQR9FKvZ9zZReyu3FVON9V5&oh=00_AYCFQ2mPndz2b-VzZYk9q78di--uEQv5AE3ANk0DCgCF1g&oe=6730E474	PERSON_PROFILE	0	Indulge in story	1969-12-31 18:00	View Edit Delete
2,378,778	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) '{"alias":2378777}'	Yes	2024-11-06 00:42	active	1739	🔥🔥Click to read the next chapter for free👉	Chapter 1 IRENE'S POV My chast heaved with rapid breaths, my eyes fluttered close. My lips fell open and a moan squeezed past my throat. My fingers were working overtime as I pushed them in and out of my wetness with my legs spread apart in bed. I bit the corners of my lips as I threaded my fingers through my hair, gripping them a bit hard like I suspected he would. I imagined his hands on me instead. His long fingers sliding in and out, coated with my juices. He would stroke my insides while holding my legs apart. "Karson," I moaned when his image was all I could see. I reached out my hand to touch him. To touch his rock hard body and trail my fingers down his chast to the V-line where his towel had hung loose. His scent was buried in my memory. All it took was one sniff and here I was, moaning to this man and bucking my hiips. He looked so much better. His face was more defined and he grew so handsome in a short while. His shoulders were broad and wide. He had a perfect figure and toned body. I increased my pace and I gasped when I found it. I slapped a hand over my mouth. The rising heat in the lower part of my stomach increased. Tears rolled down my face. I craved his touch, his fire. My body ached for his attention, the warmth in his eyes, I desired nothing more- My toes curled and I jerrked my hiips as my body convulsed. I bit into my palm as my orggasm rolled out of me. It took a while to recover. I was breathing hard and trying to gather myself again. This was the state he left me in. every single time we bumped into each other. Just a whiff of his scent and I was squirming for his touch. I almost felt terrible for including him in my little session but he was all I could think about. I've been masturbatting frequently now. My mating ceremony to the man of my fantasies was today. One part of me was pleased and happy with the fact that I would have my long time dream come true; being mated to Karson. He was the soon to be Alpha of The Nightcrawlers Pride. I didn't care about his title, that wasn't the reason I loved him. With or without his title, I was bound to be drawn to him. While one part was pleased, the other part was devastated. As much as I wanted to be his mate, I wasn't. Even worse, Karson seemed to think that I had bewitched Luna- his mother- into arranging our marriage. "She's wolfless, mother," he had said during dinner tonight. His contempt was loud, his mock even louder. I withdrew my hands from the table and hid them under with my head lowered at the usual confrontation. "I know," Luna Teresa's reply was calm like she was unaffected by her son's cruel words. I wished his words wouldn't affect me at all. Yet every time he opened his mouth, I was close to tears. Maybe if I loved him any less, I would have tougher skin and wouldn't be running to my room crying like a three year old. He was right. I was wolfless. It wasn't impossible for a werewolf not to have a wolf, it was just rare to find and even rarer for that wolfless wolf to be Luna, ruling over a powerful pack as The Nightcrawlers Pride. According to the book of records in the Pack, I would be the first wolfless Luna. While breaking a record didn't seem too bad, this wasn't exactly the kind of record I would be boastful of. "Yet you would subject your only son and heir to the Pride Family Pack to this fate?" Karson had asked his mother in an accusing tone that made me stop feeling sorry for myself but sorry for her. A wolfless mate meant one of two things; There was a high chance of birthing a wolfless pup and there was a lower chance of birthing a pup- in this case, the next Alpha. I squeezed my dress in a fist. The pressure that was upon my shoulders was more than anyone could ever imagine. "I have strong faith in our genes," Aunt Teresa- as I'd come to know her, smirked. "After all, your father's family were all Alpha's, down to his mother. So you're from a thick and strong Alpha bloodline. I have faith in you-" "My goodness!" Karson huffed in disbelief. "Can you hear yourself, mother? You're betting everything away for her?" I wanted the soft dining chair that had suddenly grown cold under my bvtt to swallow me. "What’s so special about her anyways!" I've heard that before. It shouldn't be anything new. I've cried my eyes out to those words yet every time he asked, it was a whole different feeling than I had bargained for. I was plain. I had no scent, no wolf, no family. There was literally nothing to my name. All I had was everything Aunt Teresa had given to me since I was five. My parents died in a war and Luna had been so kind as to take me in. She couldn't recall my last name so she gave me Pride instead. I was already sharing a last name with the man I came to love. Karson and I lived under the same roof. Growing up around him had been okay. He never showed me this hate, he never even spoke to me except when we were at the table. But ever since he returned from his training where he stayed away to be Alpha for three years, things had gone down the drain. "This is your doing, isn't it?" I stiffened at his words and finally lifted my gaze. The anger and hate in his eyes was enough to let a tear slide down my eye. He was convinced I had bewitched Luna. After all, why would she decide to kil her own bloodline that had been passed down for years? I quickly wiped my eyes. I didn't want Luna to notice plus Karson would scold me and be cross at me if his mother confronted him about making me cry. I fear he was already running from my reach before I could even stretch out my hands. "I'm sorry, I have no hand in this," I said either way, knowing fully well that he wouldn't believe me. "Don't apologize for things that are beyond your control, Irene," Aunt Teresa wiped her mouth with her napkin and rose to her feet. "You two will be just fine. The mating ceremony is in a few days. Get to know yourselves a lot better," with her little advice, she walked away, allowing fear to step in. Karson would eat me alive now that we were alone. I wanted to run after Aunty but I knew it would be childish- "Don’t get any ideas in your head," Karson stated and I turned my attention to him. His words pierced me like a hot thin needle. "You're only my mother's choice. Once I find my mate, I'll have her as my Luna and you'll step down." I gulped and started to nod slowly at his words. "I don't need you to agree, Irene," he scoffed, reminding me that I didn't have a choice and that he called all the shots. "That's just the way it's supposed to be. Think of this as a way of repaying my mother's kindness all those years." Karson got up and walked out of the table. I tried my hardest to understand him. I guess, in a way, his hate was justified. He returned from his Alpha training only to discover he was arranged to be married. He was stripped of the chance to find his mate and he was stuck with someone as useless as myself. His words, his attitude had screamed one thing. 'Know your place, Irene,' and I read the message loud and clear. ************** Our mating ceremony was a long and torturous one for me. The Pack congratulated us endlessly and the smile I plastered on my face should leave a mark by morning. Karson stood stiffly by my side. We were now the new Alpha and Luna of The Nightcrawlers Pride and we were expected to carry out our duties immediately. While no one would say it, I knew that the 'baby making process' was expected as well. We headed to our new room to commence and mark the final activity for the mating ceremony. A day that I had looked forward to all my life. I was nervous and it didn't seem like a good one. I didn't know what to expect but I was already wet, my niples had rolled into tight buds and they tried to gain attention and drill a hole through my outfit. I stepped into the room before him. "I'll be right back," he said and I nodded, closing the door behind me. Immediately, I dashed to the bathroom and took a shower. I couldn't afford this moment to be ruined. I wrapped the towel around my chast and got out of the shower. My heart hammered in my chast. Karson was staring at me with his undivided attention. His gaze dropped lower and I tightened my hand around my towel. The air was thick and in an instant, he was taking long strides towards me. I met him half way and while my hands reached out to touch his face and pull him into a kiss, his hand grabbed my towel and he yanked it off. I gasped in shock but his hands grabbed my brreasts. I was immediately enveloped in the feel of him. I wrapped my hands around his back as he licked and softly nibbled on my hard niples. His rough hands trailed down my body and kicked my legs apart. He slid two fingers into my core and I gasped at the sudden intrusion. "How are you so wet?" He mumbled to himself. I couldn't breathe. His fingers were bigger than mine so they stretched me more than I had ever done to myself. I felt so full and I hadn't even had the real thing yet. He pumped into me hard and fast, soon my legs shook and my eyes were fluttering close. "Karson," I wanted it now. I wanted it right now. I wanted his shaft filling me up and I wanted his bite mark over my neck. "Fvcking hel, Irene!" He cursed and roughly pulled out his fingers. He grabbed my wrist and made me climb the bed, he pressed a hand to my waist and I knew what he wanted. I stayed ass up, face down. I was exposed to him in that position with my legs spread apart. I gripped the sheets beside my head and waited impatiently. The sound of his zipper fuelled my rising hunger and soon I felt something cold and hard poke at my entrance. Suddenly alarmed, I started to rise, "Karson, wait I've never-" He thrust his full length into me and my jaw dropped open. "Fvck! How are you so...tight!" Karson forced those words through his teeth. The sharp pain I felt was overwhelmed by the pleasure that came soon after. I felt him all the way to the back of my throat. My insides were stretched to their limit and when he pulled out and slammed back in, hard and fast, a tear rolled down my cheek. It was more than I had imagined. It was blissful. I could almost see it. The way he pulled back with my juices coating his shaft, inviting him to slam back in and when he did, I could only chew my lip and let out moans of pleasure. Our first night was pure fvcking and nothing else. I gripped the sheets as he grabbed my waist to meet and take his every thrust. I was gasping for breath and his thrusts were faster, shorter and harder. I wondered how it was even possible to move his hiips like that. I could barely catch my breath. If I died today, I would die a happy, wolfless wolf who finally married the man of her dreams. I needed his bite mark. "Karson," I managed to get the words out in between gasps and moans. My or9asm was sudden and instant. My body shook and convulsed as he kept up his thrusts. I squeezed my eyes shut as the electricity rolled through my vibrating core, clenching down hard on him and svcking him in. He grew harder under in an instant and I soon felt something warm in my belly and his shaft pulsed like a heart pumping. My body was spent and I was too weak to open my eyes. He pulled out and I let out a weak moan. I waited for his touch to find me but the only thing I heard were his footsteps and soon, the sound of the door opening and then closing- announcing his departure. Karson had left without leaving his mate bite behind. Chapter 2 IRENE'S POV I threw my head over her legs as I sobbed like a child. Her gentle pat landed on my head, over and over again. "It's going to be alright, Irene," Aunt Teresa said in a soothing voice. I shook my head against her hand. I could hear my heart breaking at his rejection and words of comfort reached nowhere near to piecing my heart together. "I mean it, Irene," Aunt Teresa sighed. She was adamant on making me feel good this morning. After Karson walked out of the room, he was yet to return and I just couldn't stand the terrible feeling that plagued my heart. So here I was in Aunt's room, crying my eyes out. "Don't shed so many tears, Irene. Your eyes will be puffy," she grabbed my face and jerrked my head up. I could barely see her through my blurry vision but her face was in a small pout and her brows were knitted in a frown. Her long black hair was let down and she looked like a goddess. "Look at you," she sighed. "You're so pretty, don't ruin your face, Irene." She wiped my tears with her thumb and pressed her lips to my forehead in a kiss. I closed my eyes as I tried to relax into it but more tears only poured out when I remembered that Karson didn't even kiss me. I 9roaned, throwing my head back as I sobbed even harder. "He didn't- hic- he avoided- hic- I don't know why- hic- but he didn't- hic-" "Stop crying, Irene. I can't make out your words-" "He didn't make out with me!" I cried harder and stopped to swallow the lump in my throat before I continued again. "It's because I'm wolfless and I'm not even his mate! I have nothing- he hates me," "He doesn't hate you," She tried to assure me. "He just doesn't understand-" "Understand what?" I cried. "I don't understand either. Make me understand-" "Irene!" She grabbed my face again and stared into my eyes. "You can't force your destiny. When the time is right, you'll understand. I have faith in you, Irene." I didn't even have faith in myself but her tone was convincing and the way she stared at me with no joke. She wiped my tears again and I didn't have the heart to produce any more. "Trust me, my dear. You're Luna now and I'm sure you'll be more powerful than ever before." I held onto her words and made them my strength but as the days rolled by, my frustration was beyond me that I would lock myself in my room- as Karson never returned- and cried. Our matrimonial bed had become my personal bed. The room we were supposed to share was now my own room. The only time we bumped into each other was during breakfast where we ate in silence or going past his office to mine. The Luna position came with a lot of responsibility and I was still being eased into it. But with Karson's attitude still on my mind, I was always mentally and emotionally stressed by the end of each day. "Luna, is everything alright?" I snapped out of my thoughts at the Beta's voice. Wayne stared at me with a worried look. He had been in my office for a few minutes now but I could hardly recall the issue he had raised. "I'm sorry," I hurriedly apologized and dropped my pen on the desk, giving him my full attention. "I'm fine. You were saying?" He didn't look the least convinced but he had to go on either way. He smiled and the wrinkles around his mouth stretched. He had gotten very old over the years, I guess it was time for him to retire but that was his and Karson's decision to make. "Maybe you should get some rest later,"he suggested and I could only offer him a smile. "I was asking your opinion about weapon storage in the Pack. While we don't have any impending threats, I was thinking it wouldn't be bad to restock and increase our budget." "A few of our warriors with friends from other packs have mentioned the endless amount of weapons over there. I'm afraid they feel ours is lacking behind," he explained. "I understand. But having an endless amount of weapons calls for a higher maintenance budget. If we do that, the tax will increase, the pack members will suffer and all we'll have are weapons while exploiting others," I sighed. "We're building a nation not a military zone. Even during war, we can have enough money and gain the upper hand." "I'm afraid I'll have to decline the request to stock more weapons. Instead, could we cover it by high maintenance of what we already have?" I suggested. Beta Wayne was already nodding with a satisfied smile on his face, "Yes, that could work. You're right. You're a blessing to us, Irene. Our budget is in safe hands. Our Alpha is really lucky to have you by his side." I smiled in response to his words and watched him excuse himself. It was only fair to have brains, in my opinion. After discovering I was wolfless, I trained myself in other ways to help strengthen the Pack and I knew I was successful each time I received praises. Even worse, there was something strange that I had started to notice. Wayne's daughter visited Alpha Karson every day. "Where is the Alpha, Joan?" I asked the maid that served my tea. "He's in his office, Luna," she fidgeted for a while, biting her lip. "With who?" I already knew what she wanted to say. The thought of her answer was already making me squeeze the document I was holding. "Lexie, Luna Irene," she replied in a murmur. I offered her a smile, "Thank you. You can go now." She bowed before rushing out of my office. I leaned back on my seat with a hand over my face and a tired sigh leaving my lips. Her constant visits to the Alpha's study was becoming alarming. They spent every minute together and he rarely had lunch or dinner with me. Her giggles were loud and every time I heard it, I could hear my heart breaking but I would lift my chin and wear a smile. I had loved Karson for years and a little thing like this shouldn't be able to shake me. I shrugged it off my shoulders and tried to concentrate on my duties. I successfully distracted myself till evening but soon came the migraines that were impossible to ignore. I called it a night and started to walk down the hallway. When I approached Karson's door, my heart began to pound. I wondered if he was still in and if he was with her. It was almost 9p.m already and she was supposed to be at home. Besides, I was yet to have dinner and I wondered if he had eaten too. He had successfully avoided me for a whole month, sharing his attention between his work and Lexie. It was strange to think about but I didn't want to ponder on that. Especially when my thoughts would play detective, questioning itself if she was his mate or not. But she wasn't of age yet for him to find out. That was the only thread of hope that I clung onto. "Maybe I could ask if we could have dinner together," I wondered and I slowed down when I got to his door. Karson's scent was faint but it tickled my nose either way, making my niples hard and my core already wet. Being wolfless, I could hardly distinguish between people by their scent nor could I smell everyone but Karson's scent was one I had thought myself to remember. His scent was like wild roses in an open field while Aunt Teresa's scent was warm and sunny. I cherished the little gift I had from having two werewolf parents as Aunt Teresa had told me. We never spoke much about them and I wondered why. All I knew was that they were good people who would do anything for the ones they loved. Sometimes, I wondered if they didn't love me enough to stay alive. Exhaling softly, I held the cold door knob of Karson's office and I pushed it open. "Karson, I was wondering if you'd like to have dinner with-" The rest of the words died in my throat. My eyes widened and I heard my own heart shatter. Dizziness washed over me and my knees wobbled but I gripped the door hard to keep standing. Karson had Lexie in his arms in a hug while he backed her against his desk. His mouth was on her neck and the way she held onto him tightly as if she was in slight pain, I could already tell what was going on. The mate bite he had refused to give me, he was bestowing it upon her. He had marked her without even stopping to consider our mating ceremony- Was she... No! I shook my head even as my thoughts already confirmed it. My lips trembled as tears filled my eyes at the realization. Karson was hel bent upon meeting his mate. He hates our arranged marriage because he didn't have the chance to find his destined mate. She was his mate. The sight before my eyes was growing on my pierced heart that continued to shatter even more. The sight burned right into my head that I was sure I could never forget it even if I were to lose my memory today. I would at least remember that the only man I had ever loved, had finally found his mate and I was nothing to him. I stepped away from the door like it would explode at any minute. "You're only my mother's choice," his words before our mating ceremony began to hunt me. My breathing became ragged and I clutched my chast, tugging at the neck of my dress as I found it hard to breathe. I staggered backwards with eyes wide in horror. I turned and ran into my room, slamming the door behind me. I sagged to the floor with my knees hunched up to my chast. My hands shook and so did my shoulders. The tears fell and all I could do was stare into my palm before slowly placing it over my face. Chapter 3 IRENE'S POV The pain I felt was like a deep hollow of nothingness that delved deeper and deeper even when I tried not to think about last night. The image was engraved in my head. I hadn't slept a wink. I sat up in my bed all night with my thoughts all over hel's half acre. My shoulders were slumped and my hair was let loose to drop down, covering the side of my face. There was a knock on my door but I didn't lift my eyes from the sheets. The knock sounded again and it took a while to recover. I lifted my gaze and sighed, drilling a hole into the door. I didn't want any visitors. I simply wished to sit in my bed all day but that couldn't happen. I muttered a weak "come in," and mentally mocked my sorry tone. "Luna?" A maid stepped in and I locked eyes with her. She gasped with her eyes going wide for a brief second before she lowered her eyes. Did I really look that bad in just one night? "B-breakfast has been served and the Alpha's mother has asked me to come fetch you," she stuttered. "I see," I sighed again and started to drag myself out of bed. My knees were weak from holding me up. "Bring out something for me to wear and... Some make-up for my face." "Y-Yes, Luna!" I showered quickly and dressed up fast. When I stared into the mirror, I shook my head at my sorry self. My eye bags were bad and there were dark circles too. I looked like I had been crying all night. The maid helped in applying the pancake and covering it up. I thanked her and rushed for breakfast after practicing my smile in the mirror. I was going to act like there was no weight in my heart and no turbulence in my head. But my smile froze when I got to the table. Lexie was laughing with Aunty and Karson had a smile on his face while he ate- that was something that had never happened. "Oh, Luna," Lexie's voice was high and she sounded elated. "You're here. We've been waiting for you. Breakfast is almost cold." She was a very pretty young woman with bob brown hair, an oblong face, love shaped bow lip and her body figure was very matured. Her b00bs were bigger than mine and so were her legs. This was probably Karson's type. What was she doing here? Why was she here? She had no right to be here- unless... "Lexie, here, joined us for breakfast," Aunt explained. She probably read the confusion on my face. "Sorry, if it's uncomfortable for you," Lexie said and nervously rubbed her hand on her neck. I saw it. She knew I saw it. The band-aid on her neck was no joke. I had lost Karson and she was making that clear. She didn't have breakfast with us every other day. It was just that one time but it sent a clear message to me. My days in his life were numbered. I went down for breakfast with a thudding heart and anxiousness in my womb. Their silence was taking a toll on me. I wondered if it was their plan to drive me mad so they could find an excuse to kick me out but Karson didn't need an excuse to get rid of me. He could do it whenever he wanted since he had found his mate. So why was he holding back? Why were they keeping their affair a secret? My thoughts were ferocious and they showed no mercy. A minute of idleness and I was sinking deep into depression. I picked up more work than usual. An attempt to keep my mind occupied and busy was starting to weigh down on me. I left my office by 2a.m. every day, only to return by 8a.m. I had no complaints whatsoever but after a week, I noticed the workload started to reduce. The usual heap of files I arranged for myself were halved and I was rounding off sooner than I wanted. "Raphael, why is there so little work to do?" I voiced my complaints to the Gamma of the Pack. He was arranging a few files for me to check out and I was already frowning at how little they were. "Shouldn't you be happy?" He asked instead. "You've been working too much of late," he was one of the few who could speak freely to me despite my Luna title. He was a good friend of mine despite still being Karson's Gamma. "I'm not complaining," I told him. "What happened to all the work?" I wanted to sink into work and nothing more. It was my only means of escape at this point. "Well, Alpha Karson shared some of your Luna duties to Lexie-" "What?" I must've misheard. I refused to believe my ears. "What did you just say?" Raphael met my gaze with caution. He was probably debating whether or not to repeat that. In the end, he did. "But, I don't understand... Am I doing something wrong? Did I make a mistake somewhere-" "No, never. Irene, you're perfect. You've been doing everything right from the very beginning," he encouraged, pulling me out from the hands of criticism that my thoughts had wrapped around me. "Then why? I am Luna. Only Luna should handle Luna affairs," I said more to myself, trying to understand the situation and give reasons why it wasn't even making any sense. Raphael glanced away for a moment and my heart sank. "You've been noticing it too, haven't you?" "I'm sorry. I didn't want to tell you so you wouldn't worry so much," He made an apologetic face. "I simply carried out the order. Maybe you could ask him sometime," he suggested. "Would you like to go for a walk? To clear your mind at least?" This was happening too fast for me to wrap my head around. I swallowed hard as I looked around my office. Since when was there a deputy Luna? What was Karson's aim in all of this? Was he trying to ridicule my position or make me know my place? I nodded and he smiled, turning away immediately. "Would you like ice cream or sandwich along the way-" "R-Raphael?" I called and stepped out from behind my desk. He was already at the door when he turned to face me. " Let's go for a smooke break instead," I needed another form of distraction since Karson had taken this one away from me. "What do you mean?" He asked, sounding suspicious. "I want to smooke too." *** My workload reduced as my deputy Luna took her work seriously. Day by day I did less work but I occupied myself with smooking in my bathroom whenever I could. It was relaxing and it helped me let out some steam. I was in my room by 6pm. that evening, smooking again when I heard a knock on the door. I froze for a moment, looking at the door with furrowed brows. I wasn't expecting anyone. Plus Karson never came here. He had his own room now. "Who is it-" "Irene, dear? Can I come in?" Aunt Teresa's voice had me slamming the ci9arette on the ashtray. I carried it to the bathroom and dumped it in the sink. I rushed out and grabbed my perfumes, spraying the air with my heart beating wildly in my chast. After I sniffed the air and made sure the ci9arette smell was gone, I took a deep breath and opened the door. Her shiny face and warm smile came into view. She stood in a composed manner with her head tipped up. Aunty could never be caught without the aura and grace of a queen. I ushered her in with more enthusiasm than normal and I hoped she wouldn't notice. "You finished your duties a little early. That's good. Why didn't you come over to my room so we could talk?" She wondered, heading to the dropped curtains. "It's quite dark in here," she mumbled to herself and spread the curtain open. I raised a hand to shield my eyes from the light. I preferred the dark and gloomy area. It was a perfect place to hide my shame. How could I even look at myself in the mirror and call myself a Luna? I was a sorry excuse for one. "I didn't want to disturb you with my issues," I intertwined my fingers over my legs as I stood by the door with my eyes on the floor of where she was. She turned her body in my direction, "Oh? That's a first. Is something going on?" Something? More than enough was going on and I doubted Aunty even knew half of it. "Not at all," I shook my head. If Karson wouldn't tell her, then I wouldn't dare to mention it. Aunt Teresa was a supportive mother to both Karson and I. I wondered how she would react to Karson finally finding his mate. I wouldn't want to put her at a crossroad. Actually, I think I just couldn't bear the thought of Aunt Teresa picking Lexie over me. It hurt that Karson already did but it would hurt me more and rip my heart out if the only mother figure I've known all my life were to discard me like I meant nothing. "It's your birthday tomorrow," she announced. "Did you forget?" "Oh," a day I had always looked forward to was now insignificant to me. "I guess I did." She sighed, "Perhaps are you working too much, Irene?" I almost scoffed with my vision blurred with tears, "No, that's impossible. I'm not even doing nearly enough." "What do you mean? You work everyday and you're doing good," she defended. "Are you crying again?" I couldn't help it. My chin was trembling as I tried to hold back my tears. It felt as though a dam was about to break. I felt like a worthless piece of crap. Karson couldn't even trust me with Luna duties anymore, he handed them over to that other woman. What was I thinking? I was actually the "other woman" in their relationship. I was an outsider who could never take the place of his mate. Not that I even wanted to try- far from it! I just wanted Karson to acknowledge my love for him and my efforts to make him happy and satisfied. Was that really too much to ask? I was in Aunt Teresa's embrace by the time I recovered myself. She wrapped her arms around me as I tried to control my sobs. "Don't doubt yourself so much, my dear. Everything will be just fine," she reassured and I nodded even though I knew things wouldn't be fine. They would only get worse and worse with each passing day. I made up my mind to confront Karson about what he had done rather than allow myself to wallow and sink further into self pity and doubt. Aunt Teresa left after informing me she would be returning from a short trip tomorrow evening to celebrate my birthday with me. I took a shower and by evening I was heading to Karson's room. My head was throbbing from a dull headache that had become a constant thing every evening for a week now and my temperature was quite high. I made it to Karson's room and after practicing controlled breathing up to five times, I knocked. "Come in," his voice was soft and it made my heart melt. For a second there I wondered if he was expecting someone else. I walked into his room with his scent hitting me first. It's been a while since I stepped into his personal space. The last time I did that, I nearly had a heart attack from what I saw. Karson was seated on his king sized bed with his head turned to a document. He had moved back to his old room. While everything was familiar in here, the one thing that wasn't was this hot man in nothing but his dark blue pants. I almost drooled just by staring at his chast and bulging muscles. When next would I get to touch his body- "I suppose you didn't come here to stare, right?" His voice interrupted my thoughts and gone was the soft tone that I had received outside the door. He was back to his usual self and cold tone especially with the way he gazed at me with no atom of smile on his face. I summon my courage, "Right. I came because I need answers. You handed part of my duties to Lexie and I'd appreciate it if you could tell me why." His brow arched in a silent question, "It's been a week already. Why is it suddenly so important to know?" He was right. I had taken too long to question him. I should've headed into his office the first time I heard the news. "I know. I've only been wondering if there was something I wasn't doing right," I stated while trying to keep a straight face. "So I took the time to look inwards and question myself-" "There's no need for you to do that, Irene," he tilted his head. "You've managed the Packs finances very well while making sure there's adequate supply of everyone's needs." His compliment left me stunned as I never expected it from him. "Then," I took a step closer. "Why is Lexie acting as a deputy Luna? It is unheard of that Luna's duties are given to someone else. Is there something I should know-" "If that'll be all, I'd like to get back to my duties now. As you can see," he lifted the document slightly. "I'm still occupied." I gaped at him in shock. He was openly dismissing my question about Lexie. Was this what it had come to? "It's my birthday tomorrow," I announced with my eyes on the sheets, wondering if he had ever taken Lexie here and did to her what he did with me during the night of our mating ceremony. Was he more pasionate and gentle? Did he hold her after- I let out a harsh breath as there was nothing but silence. He had turned his attention back to his work and it showed that I wasn't needed here anymore. I quietly left his room and I doubted he even noticed that I was gone. I spent the night with a high fever and a headache but by morning after throwing up a few times, I realized what my condition was. I threw out the ci9arettes and got rid of the ash tray. I got naked and stood in front of a mirror. My breests were fuller and my niples had spread and were wider. Karson would've noticed if he had spared me a minute or more of his time for a little visit. I needed to get out of here. This place was no longer my home. It was only a matter of time before Karson would welcome his mate to his side and she would be made Luna as soon as possible. There was nothing left for me here; not in the pack and not even by his side. I did the only thing I could do at this point; the only thing Karson would appreciate and probably love me for someday... I ran. Chapter 4 IRENE'S POV FIVE YEARS LATER "Carl! Karin! Mummy's leaving!" The nanny announced with a loud voice and in less than two seconds, two preschoolers ran out with their chubby cheeks. The boy- Carl- was holding his favorite dinosaur toy with his black hair disheveled on his head. His smile was wide as he ran out and his arms opened wide while Karin- the girl- had her usual frown on her face. She practically glared at everything as she approached. I squatted before the couch as they approached me. I wrapped my arms around them, pulling them into a hug when they got closer. "M-Mummy," Carl stuttered excitedly. When I pulled away and stared into their faces, Karin was wearing a smile. She only ever smiled when she was around me. The nanny was already complaining that she was scared of her. But what could a four year old do to a full grown woman? "Karin, did you pull your brother's hair again?" I arched my brows and she tensed with her smile freezing on her face. Her dark hair was in two ponytails. I wondered how long it had taken Nanny May to successfully do that. She shook her head aggressively and I glanced at Carl who was already playing with his dinosaur. Ignoring our conversation like it was past tense to him. "Are you lying?" I tried again and when she nodded, I covered my face with a smile. "Your honesty is appreciated but you have to stop pulling his hair. You'll turn him into an old man." I could feel my wolf smiling proudly as we stared at the duo who almost never got along. It almost reminded me of the relationship I had with their father. "Anyways!" I said to my pups and to my thoughts but that got their attention anyways. "I'm leaving-" "Where?" Karin's frown was back on her face- she was the bossy one- and Carl looked like he was about to start crying. "N-No no, I'll be back soon, I promise. I have to meet up with the Alpha," I touched their cheeks and brought them closer for a kiss. "Remember, do not shift before anyone except me, okay?" I repeated the only rule we had and they nodded in silence. "Thank you, baby," I kissed their foreheads and spoke loudly this time, "Make sure to listen to Nanny May, okay?" But they were already running away before I could get the words out. I stepped out of the house with a weird feeling in my chast. It always felt this way whenever I had to leave them with anyone even for a second. Especially now that I'd be away for two nights. I trusted the twins not to break the rule but it was concerning to think about. They were only four years old. Since when did four year olds start to shift? Heck! I didn't even get my wolf until after I gave birth. It was a whole new experience for me, especially trying to connect with her. The link between us was like a thin thread but it had gradually advanced over the years. "Ready to go?" I was pulled out of my thoughts at the sound of my Alpha's voice. A bulky man with light brown skin and wild hair. Despite being in his thirties, he didn't look a day over twenty. He still looked so young and agile. Alpha Lucas was leaning over his Jeep and I rushed to him. We got into the car and drove down to where the meeting was supposed to take place. It was the third cross pack meeting our Pack would hold after five years and I was really looking forward to it. I had received his orders to participate and I had already prepared my speech but my stomach still tied itself in a knot due to nervousness. It had been a long time since I was made to handle such responsibility. I knew I was once Luna for The Nightcrawlers Pride and I delivered speeches to the Pack during the time I was there but that was a long time ago. We arrived at the hotel scheduled for the meeting in less than two hours and the hall was already filled with Alpha's of different pack's and their Beta's, talking and catching up while others were getting to know each other. "You look nervous," Alpha Lucas leaned down to whisper close to my ears. I blinked up at him, a bit uncomfortable by his sudden closures and he smiled, taking a step back. "Is it that obvious?" My cheeks were flushed from the idea of everyone reading my body language. I had gained a few of their attention but I lifted my head and avoided their gaze. I knew how Alpha's could get with their ego's. I wouldn't want to step on toes here. "Only to me," he shrugged. "But you look elegant and calm like a Luna," he complimented and I smiled tightly at the use of that title. No one in The Howlers Pack knew of my past. When I ended up here five years ago, I was almost knocked over by his car. He took me in as a rogue who had decided to acknowledge an Alpha and we've not once talked about my past, not even when I found out I was pre9nant. "You say the loveliest things to me, Alpha Lucas," I told him and I really meant it. He was like that guardian angel that kept cheering me on. "You know I would say even lovelier things and do much more for you if you agree to be my mate," he tried again with a daunting smile on his lips. He was a very good looking man who could get away with anything if he smiled. It was sad to know he lost his mate several years ago and he never spoke about her. He was convinced I was his second chance mate and he had been trying, for what three to four years now? I had lost count of how many times he had tried to convince me but each time I repeated the same old lines. "You're talking to a-" "...a brick wall whose heart can never beat again," he rolled his eyes as he finished my lines. "I know, I know. I've heard that before. Sometimes I wish I could find the basstard who dared to break your heart and make him pay." I laughed, placing a hand on his arm. It was funny hearing him say that and also very sweet. He cared deeply about me and I knew I could never repay his kindness in the way he wanted. "Can I see the list of Pack's that'll be attending?" I asked, changing the topic and he went along with it. He handed me a book that had all the twenty lists of Pack names with their Alpha and I scanned them. Eighteen out of twenty had already ticked in while two were left out. "Black Might Pack- Alpha John and Beta Phillip," I mumbled, reading to myself. "And The Nightcrawlers Pride," I froze and stopped breathing. I caught a whiff of something familiar in the air. It sparked memories that I had sought to bury. The scent of wild rose filled my nose and I gulped as I slowly lifted my gaze towards the door. I held the gaze of familiar black eyes that made my heart slowly start beating again before picking up the pace. He occupied the whole room and everyone else disappeared. He scanned the room as he buttoned his black suit that hugged his wide frame. His eyes landed on mine and I felt my heart skip a nervous beat. He was staring and I couldn't bring myself to look away. Could he recognise me? I wasn't the same woman when I left the pack five years ago. I was way different as my body had developed and I had added flesh in all the right places. Still he stared like he knew and I saw recognition flash in his orbs. "Irene, are you okay?" I felt Alpha Lucas place a hand on my shoulder with his tone filled with worry and just like that, Karson's brows furrowed in a deep frown as his eyes darted back and forth in an angry and suspicious stare between me and my new Alpha.	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2,378,780	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) '{"alias":2378710}'	Yes	2024-11-06 00:42	active	1739	🔞🔥 Continuer la lecture ➤➤	(Lily POV) Today is my 14th birthday. There will not be birthday cake, singing, or a party. Instead, we are attending a funeral. My sister's funeral, to be exact. Before my sister... died... we had a large party planned for me. I normally do not have a big party, but 14th birthdays are a really big event to werewolves. They are the day that we first meet our wolves. The next monumental birthday is our 20th birthday; that is when can first identify our fated mates. I am our Beta’s youngest daughter, and my father is loved and well-respected. Everyone was excited to meet my wolf and to see what type of wolf she would be. Thus, the guest list for my party was pretty large, and it included ranked wolves from nearby packs. I am normally a little bit of a loner, hence why I usually do not have a big birthday party. However, for this particular occasion, I was happy to have a lot of guests. Meeting your wolf comes with the first shift/ transition, and that can be incredibly painful. As inherently social creatures, the only thing known to help wolves with the pain of the first shift is to have supportive family, friends, and community around you. The way that it typically works is that the pack will host a dinner or barbeque in your honor. As night falls, and the moon replaces the sun in the sky, everyone will gather inside the pack amphitheater. The shifter-to-be will stand in the middle of the amphitheater while guests quietly chant well wishes and prayers to the Moon Goddess. The energy in the space can be electrifying for everyone present, no matter whether there are 25 attendees or 500. Once the first shift is completed, the new wolf will prance around the stage and strut their stuff. The crowd will “ooh” and “aah” until the pack alpha approaches, learns the new wolf’s name, and introduces the wolf to the crowd. The new wolf will also swear his or her allegiance to the pack and to the alpha, allowing the wolf to mind-link with other pack wolves. Finally, the new wolf and any guests old enough to shift will go for a pack run. The whole process is incredibly special and exciting. As you might imagine, décor is also an important part of the party planning process. Each shifter gets to decide the decorations and party theme that will be used for their party. If more than one wolf turns 14 on the same day, the wolves can either agree on a theme or split the party into parts that they can individually decorate. The pack luna will then work some sort of magic that somehow blends the individual areas into one cohesive theme in the center. My birthday is in October, and despite how large our pack is, I am the only one born on that day. I love having an October birthday because my favorite season is fall. For my décor, I had picked flowers and decorations in rich fall colors, including deep oranges, reds, and greens. Unfortunately, none of my party decorations will be used. Or rather, none of my decorations will be used for me. As I mentioned, we are holding a funeral today instead. My oldest sister, Stephanie, died this morning. Pack and religious tradition dictates that we must hold funerals within 24 hours of death. Because Stephanie died shortly after midnight, her funeral must be held today. All food and décor set aside for my birthday party was therefore immediately diverted for the funeral; thankfully my fall themed colors were sufficiently somber-ish to work. All decorations that seemed relatively “happy”, celebratory, or that mention me have been removed. Pictures of Stephanie have now been placed on tables and podiums, and the music I selected has been swapped out for songs about loss or Stephanie’s favorites. The loss of Stephanie is a really hurting. Not only was she my sister and my parents’ oldest and favorite child, she was also widely anticipated to be the mate of Alpha Randall’s son, James, which meant she was most likely the future luna of our pack. Stephanie would have turned 20 in three months, and she and James would have been able to confirm that they were mates then. The pack was so sure that they were mates —and Alpha Randall was so eager to turn the pack over to James and his mate, once she was identified and ready to take on the luna position— that they deviated from standard protocols and decided to begin Stephanie’s Luna training just after she turned 18. If I am being completely honest, something never sat right with me about Stephanie starting Luna training. Part of it is what Stephanie's Luna training meant for me, but that is a separate conversation. The biggest thing was that I did not understand why luna training could not wait until Stephanie turned 20 and could confirm who her mate was. Lunas for generations have waited for their training; why couldn't Stephanie? It also bothered me quite a bit to watch Stephanie hang all over James at pack functions. Our pack frowned upon dating and public displays of affection prior to finding your mate; it created too much risk for problems, anger, and jealousy once your mate was located. For whatever reason, an exception was made for Stephanie. But then again, exceptions always were made for her. Stephanie was strong and absolutely beautiful, and the pack knew her as being kind, smart, and energetic. She could do no wrong in the eyes of my parents, the alpha, or the pack. I hope I do not sound too jealous or bitter. I loved my sister, and her death is hitting me really hard. It’s just that…. I knew a different side of my sister than everyone else, and I know more than anyone that my sister was far from perfect. Had I spoken up before she died, I would have been accused of jealousy and lying. And were I to speak up now, well… I would be accused of jealousy, lying, AND improperly speaking ill of the dead. It is easier to just let it go. Along with my birthday. It isn't that important anyway. I do not want to be selfish or self-centered. The only immediate problem with letting go is that --bad timing or not-- I am going to shift for the first time tonight. There is nothing I can do to stop or postpone it, as much as I would like to do so. I am worried about how it is going to go. Hopefully, during the reception, my mother or father or brother or someone will be willing to step aside with me for a 20-30 minutes just to get me through it. We could then return and act like everything is normal. Or as normal as it can be with Stephanie now gone. Sadly, I should have known that nothing in life is that easy. Chapter 2: The Little Brat (James POV) I watch sadly as the casket is carried from the temple to the burial grounds. It is a cold October day, and the gray sky and drizzly weather adds to the overall somber atmosphere. I cannot help but be impressed at how quickly the pack was able to pull everything together for Stephanie's funeral. All funerals happen quickly in our world, but because of how fast the funerals must take place, the décor and guest list is usually somewhat lacking. It is a testament to how much Stephanie was loved that they were able to put together so many beautiful floral arrangements in her honor, and that so many people were able to be here to honor her life, including many wolves from other packs. If it wasn't for it being such a horrible occasion, I would actually describe the color scheme as beautiful. Then again, fall has always been one of my favorite seasons. I am vaguely aware that we had some other function on the calendar today, but I honestly cannot think of what it was. With a large pack —the West Mountain Pack has over 10,000 members— we have a lot of functions. As the future alpha, I am expected to attend as many of them as I possibly can, but no one expects me to remember what they all are… even if I try to pretend in the moment. Unless reminded by an Omega or my amazing girlfriend, I can't even seem to remember my own mother and father's birthdays most of the time. My amazing girlfriend. I sigh, wiping a tear from my eye. She will never again be around to remind me about birthdays. Sadly, there will be no pretending that I know what today's ceremony is about. Stephanie Brogan was the love of my life, and she was my future mate and luna. I still cannot believe that she is gone. We never even got to fully experience the mate bond, including the sparks betwwen us. Had she lived just three months longer, our wolves would have confirmed one another as mates and Stephanie would have been able to formally claim her proper place in my bed and in my life. Instead of welcoming her body into my bed, I am saying good-bye to her today. I am also saying good-bye to all of our future plans and dreams together. I cannot help but feel anger and resentment about that. This is not how things were supposed to be. As I watch the funeral procession go by --my father, mother, and I, along with the beta family, must stand at the entrance as guests move from the temple to the burial grounds-- I catch a glimpse of Stephanie’s younger sister, Lily. She is standing next to her mother. She looks both sad and innocent, which causes the anger in my body to rise even more. That little brat is the reason that Stephanie is dead. *FLASHBACK TO LAST NIGHT* Stephanie and I are cuddled on the couch in the packhouse living room watching a movie. I have my hand on her arm and I am about to kiss her when she gets distracted by a text message. Stephanie did not let me see the message, which annoys me, but she quickly explains that Lily is lost in the forest after having snuck out to meet a boy. Stephanie’s sister is 13 or 14 years old. She has all the teenage acne and attitude that comes along with being that young. Unlike Stephanie —who has beautiful blond hair and hazel eyes— Lily has reddish brown hair and bright green eyes. Or at least I think they are bright green; she usually has them covered up with large black glasses. Stephanie gets up and tells me that Lily has texted her, begging her to come and find her. I am annoyed by the interruption, but I offer to go with Stephanie to get the little brat. Stephanie says Lily will be upset if anyone else knows about her little escapade. Stephanie reassures me that she will be fine, and then gives me a quick peck. My wolf and I have a bad feeling when Stephanie leaves, but Stephanie has us wrapped around her little finger. It is almost impossible for my wolf and I to disagree with her about anything. We pause the movie and decide to get some work done in my dad's office while we wait for Stephanie to get back. I am a night owl anyway, so I do not mind waiting. Unfortunately, about an hour after Stephanie leaves, I get an urgent mind-link from our pack warriors. They report that the Little Brat had been spotted running out of the woods screaming for help. Before they can say much more, I shift into my wolf form and take off running. I follow Stephanie’s scent far into the woods…. until I come to a small clearing, which is covered in Stephanie’s blood. Her bloody clothes are tossed around, and chunks of her hair are thrown about as well. It is the worst, most savage site that I have ever seen. The smell of rogues is all over, so it is fairly obvious what has happened. The a---holes didn’t even bother to leave her body. *END OF FLASHBACK* Tears threaten to continue to fall as I think back to the scene last night. I have not slept or eaten since I found what was left of Stephanie, and I am having trouble holding my emotions together. Now that my eyes have spotted Lily, my anger with her becomes a welcome distraction. I have a very hard time looking away from her. The truth is that I have always found myself strangely curious about her, but today… today all I want to do is take my anger out on someone, and she seems as good a target as anyone else. Her teenage behavior cost me my mate! And it cost this pack its future luna! My wolf, Luke, begs me to calm down. It is an interesting thing, having the wolf side try to calm the human side. As upset and angry and emotional as I am, it is tempting to ignore him and immediately start teach that Little Brat a lesson. However, I decide to follow Luke's advice after he reminds me that Stephanie deserves to have her funeral be all about her and not some whiny teenage brat. That does not mean that I am going to let Lily get away with what she has done, but I wait until a more appropriate time to take my revenge. I turn my focus back to Stephanie’s casket, which we filled with her bloody clothes, hair, and anything that could be found at the site that had her blood on it. The casket has been brought to the center of the amphitheater. The alpha and beta families take their seats in the front row, and my father and the pack priest move beside the casket to begin the ceremony. The ceremony involves a lot of prayers, rituals, and speakers. The average ceremony takes 2-3 hours, and Stephanie's will most likely take closer to 4-5 hours given her status in the pack and how beloved she was. During the ceremony, I keep trying to distract myself by looking around as others around me. I do not want to be seen as weak by curling into the fetal position and wailing like a baby, even though that is the only thing I want to do right now. My heart breaks as I glance at Stephanie’s parents next to me in the front row, holding on to one another as they cry. Seeing Stephanie’s father —a strong, powerful Beta wolf— break down is a sight I have very rarely seen. The pain in his eyes is heart-wrenching. I also notice Stephanie's brother, Nick, as he clings to his mate, Jenny. Both of them are crying as well. Nick is my best friend, and I have known him since we were tiny pups, but I have literally never seen him cry. I notice that there are no dry eyes anywhere. Even my father has a few stray tears running down his cheeks, although I am sure he would punch anyone who pointed it out. He is a proud man, just like me. As the sky continues to darken, I notice the Little Brat starting to act like she is uncomfortable in her seat. I can tell that Stephanie's mother is getting agitated, and rightly so. For once, can the Little Brat not think about something other than herself? Seriously. It is one ceremony. Just one. For an older sister who died trying to help her. How dare the Little Brat not hold herself together? The next thing I know, the moon is high in the sky and the final rites are being spoken by the priest. As exactly that moment, the Little Brat whispers something in her mother’s ear. Her mother turns and glares at her, causing the Little Brat to put her head down. I then watch as the Little Brat stands up and walks away. She looks like she is in pain, and I hope that she is. How dare she walk away from her sister’s funeral! Especially in the middle of the last rites! I am tempted to follow her and give her a piece of my mind, but Stephanie means more to me than that. I remind myself once again that I will get my revenge on Lily aka the Little Brat soon enough. For tonight, I must remain focused on the love of my life. Chapter 3: Lily Meets Rose “Y-yes.” “Good. Now open your eyes.” I opened my eyes and immediately noticed that I was not human anymore. My feet and hands were paws. I then looked into the water that pooled at the edge of the waterfall, and I saw my reflection… or rather the reflection of Rose. My heart stopped. There are many different types of wolves —alpha wolves; beta wolves; gamma wolves; warrior wolves; silver wolves; white wolves; red wolves; omega wolves. And even within those categories, there are varying sizes and colors and markings. We learn about the types of wolves in school. “Expect the unexpected” was a phrase that was often said about the first transition, but in reality your wolf generally follows your lineage: the children of alpha wolves will generally be alpha wolves; the children of beta wolves will generally be beta wolves; and so on. Typically, the big excitement —especially with children of ranked wolves— centers on the size, color, and personality of the new wolf. Looking back at me in the reflection of the pool was a type of wolf I had never seen or learned about in school. Rose’s fur was a beautiful bluish-silver color that almost glowed. On the right side of her rump was a large black crescent moon symbol, and the black coloring of that symbol matched her solid black paws and black tail. In addition, I noticed that Rose was huge. Although it was tough to tell, it appeared to me that Rose was at least as large as some alpha wolves. “What type of wolf are we, Rose?” “A special type. You will learn more as time goes on, but know that the Moon Goddess has blessed you and I, Lily.” I did not say anything; I was not sure what to say. Rose and I sat by the waterfall for a while longer, until I remembered Stephanie’s funeral. “We need to get back!” I told Rose in a panic. Rose guided me through how to transform back to our human form, and I frantically searched the nearby trees for clothes. I found a men’s t-shirt and shorts. Both were far too big for my small frame, so I opted to just put the t-shirt on. I also grabbed my eye-glasses off the ground and put them on; thankfully they did not break during the transition. Now that I had Rose, I would not need the glasses anymore because she would heal my eyes. However, Rose warned me that —for now— it was best that I continue to wear the glasses and let the pack believe that I did not yet have my wolf. I thought it was a curious thing for her to say, but I had no reason to not trust her. I hurried back to the packhouse and got into the beta suite, hoping to quickly change clothes and re-join the mourning crowd. Unfortunately, once I got in the suite, I was met with the angry, accusing eyes of my mother. “WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? HOW DARE YOU MAKE A SCENE AT YOUR SISTER’S FUNERAL! HAVE YOU NO SHAME? ARE YOU SO SELFISH AND SELF-CENTERED THAT YOU CAN THINK OF NO ONE BUT YOURSELF?” I said nothing. What could I say? My mother then did something that, in my 14 years, she had never done before. She slapped me. Hard. And the beating continued from there. Chapter 4: Living in the Shadows (6 years later) (Lily POV) Six years have now passed since that fateful day that Stephanie died. I wish that I could say that life has moved on, and that we have found good in the bad... but for the most part, it isn't true. Stephanie is just as much a part of this pack today as she was before she died. And the grief felt in the pack is just as raw and angry as it was that first day. If anything has changed, it is that --instead of Stephanie being out in the center of things-- she lives on almost like a shadow over everything. She now has a couple of streets named after her --Stephanie Lane and Steffie Avenue (her nickname was "Steffie"); and you can quite literally find some of her favorite outfits on display in glass cases at various places throughout the pack. Even more bizarre, the day she died was turned into a pack holiday, as was her birthday. Everyone but pack omegas have both days off from work, school, and training, and there are somber celebrations and remembrances planned to commemorate each occasion. I once made the mistake of asking my parents whether this was a normal reaction to the death of a single she-wolf. We can love and miss her, but to continue to hold large ceremonies every year? And to treat her as a saint and forget that she had a human side too? That seemed a bit too much to me. As far as I know, the pack has never done this for any other luna or future luna, and it only honors 2-3 historical alphas in such a manner. I was rewarded for my questions by being called jealous and hateful. (I also received a significant beating, but beatings had become commonplace from my mother, so I cannot say that my question necessarily triggered the beating I received that day. Plus, the beating hurt far less than what I received before Stephanie died. But for the slight pain and who did the beating, I almost would not have minded.) Overall, I think the worst part of losing Stephanie six years ago wasn't losing Stephanie... it was how losing Stephanie impacted my relationship with my parents and other pack members. Before Stephanie died, I was well aware that Stephanie was my parents' favorite. My older brother Nick and I would even joke about it from time to time. But even though Stephanie was their favorite, they still treated me really well and loved me. They never would have raised a hand to me before Stephanie died. After Stephanie died, however, my parents could barely look at me. And when they did, I saw the unmistakable wish in their eyes that it had been me, not Stephanie, that died that fateful night. In addition, my parents stopped caring about my well-being generally. I lived in their house until I was 17, but I was responsible for my own meals and necessities. I was forced to take on a part-time job at a nearby diner just to ensure I had clothes and food to eat. (I technically could have eaten the food that was available in the packhouse, but the dirty looks and mean comments made by my parents, James, and other pack members were enough to make that an unrealistic option.) Also, in case you are wondering, I have not celebrated a birthday since Stephanie died. Not one single soul other than Rose has bothered to tell me happy birthday. No one even bothered to ask me whether I had received my wolf. That wasn't because birthdays stopped being important; it was just mine whose meaning changed. I attended plenty of birthday parties, and the pack hosted plenty of 14th birthday celebrations. In fact, I think it was because of one of those birthday celebrations that someone finally questioned whether I had received a wolf. It was a legitimate question, given that I was over 14 and never joined a pack run. Rose encouraged me early on to skip them "for safety reasons," and I was all too happy to do so. Had anyone bothered to ask me directly about my wolf or about why I was skipping the pack runs, I would have been honest... but no one ever did. Instead, a rumor spread that I was wolfless. Pack members speculated that I lost my wolf as a result of post-traumatic stress from losing Stephanie and/or guilt for what I had done to Stephanie. That latter theory was the one that really got under my skin, because I knew that was a theory and rumor spread by James. Shortly after Stephanie's funeral, he told my parents and most of the pack that Stephanie was only in the forest that night to save me. He also said I had gone out to meet a boy. I have no idea why he would say such things; I have never had a boyfriend and Stephanie was the one who asked me to meet her in the forest. This rumor was the main reason that I received a beating from my mother the night of my first shift. And it probably adds to the reason that pack members wish me dead. Notably, though, I have never dared to defend myself. To tell the truth would be the equivalent of talking negatively of both Stephanie and our future alpha.... and would likely lead to a death sentence. So instead, I have always just pushed through. One of the ways that I have survived is to hold on to the faith that one day things will be different. Another thing that I have done is take every last opportunity to leave the pack. For example, I hurried through high school so that I could graduate early, and I then went away to college. To avoid coming home, I have been loading up on credit hours and taking every term of school -including the mini winter sessions-- that I can get. I am also taking advantage of a unique expedited program offered just for werewolves doctors. Given all of these things, I actually expect that I can become a fully licensed werewolf doctor in just a couple more years. Until I become fully licensed and independent, I will have to continue to bear the shadow of my sister and the pain that comes with it. I am required to be present for both of her holidays --all pack members are; there are no exceptions-- but thankfully those are among the very few times that I can reliably be found at the Western Mountain pack these days. My ultimate goal is to meet my mate and become a pack doctor in his pack... which I pray to the Moon Goddess is not the Western Mountain pack. If, Goddess forbid, my mate is in this pack, perhaps I can convince him to transfer packs with me. Goddess willing. Tomorrow is my birthday. I guess we will find out then. Chapter 5: Without His Luna (James POV) Tomorrow will mark six years since Stephanie died. Everything and nothing has changed. I still think of Stephanie every single day. Her beautiful smile. Her laugh. The kindness that she showed to pack members. The ethusiam that she showed for her luna training. Stephanie would have been an amazing and strong luna. Had Stephanie lived, we would have been happily married by now. We would probably have already had at least two adorable pups, who would have been doted on by two loving sets of grandparents. Together, Stephanie and I would have been leading the West Mountain Pack to new heights. Of course, Stephanie is no longer here. And without Stephanie… Well, without Stephanie, I am only a fraction of the man that I used to be, and only a fraction of the wolf. Without Stephanie, I am not even Alpha yet. In our world, most alpha heirs take over from their fathers between 25 and 30 years old. That timing ensures that most alphas will have already found their mates before they take over the running of a pack. Running a pack is not easy to do by yourself. Even with a strong beta and a strong gamma, a luna’s importance to a pack cannot be underestimated. A luna brings heart and balance to a pack and to the alpha himself. She is the alpha’s equal, and she is one of the few werewolves in the pack who can get away with challenging and questioning an alpha’s decisions. If she exercises her role properly and judiciously, a luna’s presence can lead to better overall outcomes, decisions, and governing. This is especially true if the luna is the alpha’s fated mate, because it means she takes on her role with the blessing of the Moon Goddess. Alpha heirs who take over their packs prior to turning 25 typically do so either out of necessity, or because they have been fortunate to have been mated very early to a strong luna. Six years ago, when Stephanie was still alive, my father thought we were going to be part of the lucky latter category. He had been very eager to take an early retirement. He and my mother had fantasized about all the European trips and Caribbean cruises that they would take after I was sworn in as alpha, and they had already had tentative plans for at least one of those trips. Of course, all of those plans were ultimately scrapped. Today, I am old enough to take over as alpha, even without a luna by my side… but my father is concerned that I am not mentally strong enough to do so yet. He sees me as broken. My father is probably right. It is a little hard not to feel broken. The reminders of Stephanie are everywhere. Even after six long years, I feel like I cannot escape from the reminders or from my grief, and it is suffocating. The packhouse has practically turned into a mini museum to her, and almost all of the local businesses have some sort of small dedication, whether it be a dedicated drink, food item, picture, or shelf of Stephanie-inspired items. Worse, twice a year, we hold a series of ceremonies and remembrances for Stephanie. As Stephanie’s mate and as the future alpha heir, I am expected to attend every one of them. I want to be there. I know that I should be there. But… It is complete and utter torture. Every day without Stephanie is difficult, but Stephanie’s birthdays and death anniversaries always hit me the hardest. What I want to do more than anything on those two days is be by myself so that I can process my grief. There is a waterfall that I like to go to. If I could, I would spend all day there on both days. The waterfall isn’t exactly hidden, but to find it, you have to go pretty far within the woods and know where to go. As far as I know, I am the only one in our pack who ever goes there. Being at the waterfall brings me comfort; it always has. That is where I want to be when I am grieving or upset. Unfortunately, instead of spending time in the comfort of my waterfall, I have to spend the two hardest days each year out in public with almost 20,000 eyes watching my every move and every reaction. Instead of just… grieving… I have to be conscientious of how every display of emotion can impact and be perceived by the pack members. As I listen to pack members, Stephanie’s parents, and my own parents take turns telling stories about Stephanie and her good deeds, I am expected to somehow strike an impossible balance between sadness and strength. At each of the events, year after year, the remembrances are largely the same. At this point, I practically have the speeches memorized. The speeches usually include stories about how Stephanie would bake cookies and send her sister to deliver them to the guards working the late-night shift on the borders. And stories about how any time anyone was injured in training or at battle, she would not only have her sister deliver care baskets to patients at the hospital, but she would also put one together for any family members separated from them while they were recovering. My parents talk about how eager Stephanie was to take on her position as luna, and how dedicated she was to her training, even working on lessons for hours at home multiple times per week. Stephanie’s parents talk about their prior dreams for their daughter and the hole they continue to feel in their hearts. Nick talks about how family celebrations do not feel the same without Stephanie there, and Jenny talks about wishing that she still had a sister-in-law to bond with and engage in girl talk. The only blessing is that —as the grieving mate— no one expects me to say anything at these events. But that does not spare me from the staring and judgment. If I show too much sadness, pack members worry that I am weak and will not able to be the leader of the pack in the future. If I seem too stoic or show too much “strength,” pack members could perceive me being disrespectful towards Stephanie’s memory. They will also worry that my reign as alpha will lack balance and compassion…. which I already hear whispers about from time to time. Sometimes, I feel angry about the whole thing. I would never, ever expect anyone who has lost their mate to put themselves on a stage multiple times a year and be judged on whether their external grief is appropriate enough. And yet my parents have no problem doing it to me. I tried to push back once, but only once. As you can imagine, it did not go well. I started the conversation by telling my parents that I did not think it was healthy for me to be surrounded by constant reminders of Stephanie, and I told them that I thought the constant remembrances were counterproductive to my mental health. I suggested that we scale back the events, or make them more private affairs. My father got angry and accused me of being selfish. He told me that being uncomfortable and coping with the pressure of judgmental pack members is part of being an alpha. Meanwhile, my mother reminded me that the ceremonies had been Stephanie’s parents’ idea, and she asked me if I wanted to be the one to tell them it was no longer important to celebrate Stephanie’s life. No, of course I did not want to tell Stephanie's parents that. No, I did not want to be selfish. I just wanted --and still want-- to not feel so sad all the time. Six years in, and the only reprieve I ever get from my grief is when the Little Brat is around. She has made herself scarce the last few years, but when she is around, my wolf and I can sense her from a mile away. My wolf and I fight about her all the time --for some reason, Luke seems to have a soft spot for the Little Brat-- but we can agree that it is nice having her around. For me, it's because I have a worthy target for my anger and rage. Chapter 8: Daddy's Girl (Lily POV) The drive to the pack house was eerily silent. After my father and I arrived at the pack house, my father quickly exited the vehicle and headed to his office, leaving me on my own. I timidly and cautiously got into the beta suite, but I was relieved to find that my mother was already in bed. I decided to go directly to my room and try to sleep as well. Unfortunately, I ended up tossing and turning all night. The look on my father's face when talking to the guards continued to haunt me. When I did sleep, I had nightmares. Strangely, Rose seemed restless too, but other than briefly wishing me a happy birthday after it hit midnight, she did not say anything. I think the main thing that provoked my nightmares and kept me up was that my heart ached for my father. I knew that I wanted to help him with his pain and ease his suffering, but I was not sure what I could do or say to make things better. It has already been six years. If time has not helped heal his heart, what could I do? The truth is, I am not Stephanie and I never will be. The only thing I have ever known how to do for my father is to try to stay out of his way. At least for my mother, I can serve as a literal punching bag to help her relieve her grief. And for others in the pack, I can serve as both a literal and metaphorical punching bag. But, I am nothing to my father: my father has neglected me and ignored the sufferings I went through, but he has never directly participated in any of them. Perhaps that is one reason his pain upsets me more than the pain of everyone else. He is the least awful amongst my current tormentors, and I can sometimes lie to myself that he does not know or agree with how much I have suffered. I know that it probably seems strange that my heart aches for him at all, given that he is someone who, for the most part, could care less about me. However, please understand that for my own sanity, I have chosen to remember and hold on to the good times in my childhood. Of course, there is also the fact that... regardless of how my father currently feels about me... I have always been --and will probably always be-- a daddy's girl. It is just part of who I am. Since I was in diapers, I have looked up to my father and considered him to be my superhero. Before Stephanie died, I never saw an ounce of weakness in him. He was my strength and my rock. I always had an strong desire to make him proud of me. He was always the first one I ran to when I got a good grade on a test, or when I drew a picture I thought he might like. And ...before Stephanie died... he was always the first one to dry my tears when I got hurt or to give me reassuring praise when I felt down. Even though I knew Stephanie was his favorite... even though I knew Stephanie's accomplishments would always be greater, and that he would always be more proud of her... those little things mattered to me. I lived for those moments. Sigh. By 5:30 am, I gave up on any hope of further sleep. Stephanie's first remembrance event was not scheduled until 11 am, so I knew I had a little bit of time. Eager to take advantage of that time and also avoid my mother, I took a quick shower, packed a small backpack, and headed out of the house. Predictably, my feet led me to the waterfall that I had shifted in front of six years ago. I have come here at least twice a year since Stephanie died, usually on her birthday and death anniversary. The waterfall brings me an odd sense of peace. As beautiful as it is, I do not know anyone else who comes here. Perhaps that is why I like it so much. I sighed. "It is easy to tell myself that when I am away from the pack and not having to cope with the consequences. It is a lot harder to believe that I am blameless when everyone around me is crying and upset all the time. You saw my dad last night. That nearly broke me. He is still hurting so much." "That does not make any of it your fault," Rose protests. "Rose, the day before Stephanie died, I prayed that the Moon Goddess stop Stephanie from continuing to hurt me." "She was not hurting you, Lily. She was torturing you. There is nothing wrong with you praying that it stop." "There is if it cost Stephanie her life." "Lily, you are not giving the Moon Goddess enough credit. You are smarter and stronger than this. You need to stop with the emotional vomit and ---" Suddenly Rose stops talking through the link. She is pacing back in forth in my head. I have no idea what is going on, until the overwhelming scent of vanilla and coffee beans hits my nose. "Mate! Lily, our mate is here! Mate, mate, mate, mate, mate!!!" I stand, dust the ashes off of my jeans, and turn around. My heart drops when I recognize the werewolf standing about 200 feet away from me. This has to be a joke. This cannot be happening.	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2,378,781	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) '{"alias":2378710}'	No	2024-11-06 00:42	active	1739	🔞🔥 Continuer la lecture ➤➤	(Lily POV) Today is my 14th birthday. There will not be birthday cake, singing, or a party. Instead, we are attending a funeral. My sister's funeral, to be exact. Before my sister... died... we had a large party planned for me. I normally do not have a big party, but 14th birthdays are a really big event to werewolves. They are the day that we first meet our wolves. The next monumental birthday is our 20th birthday; that is when can first identify our fated mates. I am our Beta’s youngest daughter, and my father is loved and well-respected. Everyone was excited to meet my wolf and to see what type of wolf she would be. Thus, the guest list for my party was pretty large, and it included ranked wolves from nearby packs. I am normally a little bit of a loner, hence why I usually do not have a big birthday party. However, for this particular occasion, I was happy to have a lot of guests. Meeting your wolf comes with the first shift/ transition, and that can be incredibly painful. As inherently social creatures, the only thing known to help wolves with the pain of the first shift is to have supportive family, friends, and community around you. The way that it typically works is that the pack will host a dinner or barbeque in your honor. As night falls, and the moon replaces the sun in the sky, everyone will gather inside the pack amphitheater. The shifter-to-be will stand in the middle of the amphitheater while guests quietly chant well wishes and prayers to the Moon Goddess. The energy in the space can be electrifying for everyone present, no matter whether there are 25 attendees or 500. Once the first shift is completed, the new wolf will prance around the stage and strut their stuff. The crowd will “ooh” and “aah” until the pack alpha approaches, learns the new wolf’s name, and introduces the wolf to the crowd. The new wolf will also swear his or her allegiance to the pack and to the alpha, allowing the wolf to mind-link with other pack wolves. Finally, the new wolf and any guests old enough to shift will go for a pack run. The whole process is incredibly special and exciting. As you might imagine, décor is also an important part of the party planning process. Each shifter gets to decide the decorations and party theme that will be used for their party. If more than one wolf turns 14 on the same day, the wolves can either agree on a theme or split the party into parts that they can individually decorate. The pack luna will then work some sort of magic that somehow blends the individual areas into one cohesive theme in the center. My birthday is in October, and despite how large our pack is, I am the only one born on that day. I love having an October birthday because my favorite season is fall. For my décor, I had picked flowers and decorations in rich fall colors, including deep oranges, reds, and greens. Unfortunately, none of my party decorations will be used. Or rather, none of my decorations will be used for me. As I mentioned, we are holding a funeral today instead. My oldest sister, Stephanie, died this morning. Pack and religious tradition dictates that we must hold funerals within 24 hours of death. Because Stephanie died shortly after midnight, her funeral must be held today. All food and décor set aside for my birthday party was therefore immediately diverted for the funeral; thankfully my fall themed colors were sufficiently somber-ish to work. All decorations that seemed relatively “happy”, celebratory, or that mention me have been removed. Pictures of Stephanie have now been placed on tables and podiums, and the music I selected has been swapped out for songs about loss or Stephanie’s favorites. The loss of Stephanie is a really hurting. Not only was she my sister and my parents’ oldest and favorite child, she was also widely anticipated to be the mate of Alpha Randall’s son, James, which meant she was most likely the future luna of our pack. Stephanie would have turned 20 in three months, and she and James would have been able to confirm that they were mates then. The pack was so sure that they were mates —and Alpha Randall was so eager to turn the pack over to James and his mate, once she was identified and ready to take on the luna position— that they deviated from standard protocols and decided to begin Stephanie’s Luna training just after she turned 18. If I am being completely honest, something never sat right with me about Stephanie starting Luna training. Part of it is what Stephanie's Luna training meant for me, but that is a separate conversation. The biggest thing was that I did not understand why luna training could not wait until Stephanie turned 20 and could confirm who her mate was. Lunas for generations have waited for their training; why couldn't Stephanie? It also bothered me quite a bit to watch Stephanie hang all over James at pack functions. Our pack frowned upon dating and public displays of affection prior to finding your mate; it created too much risk for problems, anger, and jealousy once your mate was located. For whatever reason, an exception was made for Stephanie. But then again, exceptions always were made for her. Stephanie was strong and absolutely beautiful, and the pack knew her as being kind, smart, and energetic. She could do no wrong in the eyes of my parents, the alpha, or the pack. I hope I do not sound too jealous or bitter. I loved my sister, and her death is hitting me really hard. It’s just that…. I knew a different side of my sister than everyone else, and I know more than anyone that my sister was far from perfect. Had I spoken up before she died, I would have been accused of jealousy and lying. And were I to speak up now, well… I would be accused of jealousy, lying, AND improperly speaking ill of the dead. It is easier to just let it go. Along with my birthday. It isn't that important anyway. I do not want to be selfish or self-centered. The only immediate problem with letting go is that --bad timing or not-- I am going to shift for the first time tonight. There is nothing I can do to stop or postpone it, as much as I would like to do so. I am worried about how it is going to go. Hopefully, during the reception, my mother or father or brother or someone will be willing to step aside with me for a 20-30 minutes just to get me through it. We could then return and act like everything is normal. Or as normal as it can be with Stephanie now gone. Sadly, I should have known that nothing in life is that easy. Chapter 2: The Little Brat (James POV) I watch sadly as the casket is carried from the temple to the burial grounds. It is a cold October day, and the gray sky and drizzly weather adds to the overall somber atmosphere. I cannot help but be impressed at how quickly the pack was able to pull everything together for Stephanie's funeral. All funerals happen quickly in our world, but because of how fast the funerals must take place, the décor and guest list is usually somewhat lacking. It is a testament to how much Stephanie was loved that they were able to put together so many beautiful floral arrangements in her honor, and that so many people were able to be here to honor her life, including many wolves from other packs. If it wasn't for it being such a horrible occasion, I would actually describe the color scheme as beautiful. Then again, fall has always been one of my favorite seasons. I am vaguely aware that we had some other function on the calendar today, but I honestly cannot think of what it was. With a large pack —the West Mountain Pack has over 10,000 members— we have a lot of functions. As the future alpha, I am expected to attend as many of them as I possibly can, but no one expects me to remember what they all are… even if I try to pretend in the moment. Unless reminded by an Omega or my amazing girlfriend, I can't even seem to remember my own mother and father's birthdays most of the time. My amazing girlfriend. I sigh, wiping a tear from my eye. She will never again be around to remind me about birthdays. Sadly, there will be no pretending that I know what today's ceremony is about. Stephanie Brogan was the love of my life, and she was my future mate and luna. I still cannot believe that she is gone. We never even got to fully experience the mate bond, including the sparks betwwen us. Had she lived just three months longer, our wolves would have confirmed one another as mates and Stephanie would have been able to formally claim her proper place in my bed and in my life. Instead of welcoming her body into my bed, I am saying good-bye to her today. I am also saying good-bye to all of our future plans and dreams together. I cannot help but feel anger and resentment about that. This is not how things were supposed to be. As I watch the funeral procession go by --my father, mother, and I, along with the beta family, must stand at the entrance as guests move from the temple to the burial grounds-- I catch a glimpse of Stephanie’s younger sister, Lily. She is standing next to her mother. She looks both sad and innocent, which causes the anger in my body to rise even more. That little brat is the reason that Stephanie is dead. *FLASHBACK TO LAST NIGHT* Stephanie and I are cuddled on the couch in the packhouse living room watching a movie. I have my hand on her arm and I am about to kiss her when she gets distracted by a text message. Stephanie did not let me see the message, which annoys me, but she quickly explains that Lily is lost in the forest after having snuck out to meet a boy. Stephanie’s sister is 13 or 14 years old. She has all the teenage acne and attitude that comes along with being that young. Unlike Stephanie —who has beautiful blond hair and hazel eyes— Lily has reddish brown hair and bright green eyes. Or at least I think they are bright green; she usually has them covered up with large black glasses. Stephanie gets up and tells me that Lily has texted her, begging her to come and find her. I am annoyed by the interruption, but I offer to go with Stephanie to get the little brat. Stephanie says Lily will be upset if anyone else knows about her little escapade. Stephanie reassures me that she will be fine, and then gives me a quick peck. My wolf and I have a bad feeling when Stephanie leaves, but Stephanie has us wrapped around her little finger. It is almost impossible for my wolf and I to disagree with her about anything. We pause the movie and decide to get some work done in my dad's office while we wait for Stephanie to get back. I am a night owl anyway, so I do not mind waiting. Unfortunately, about an hour after Stephanie leaves, I get an urgent mind-link from our pack warriors. They report that the Little Brat had been spotted running out of the woods screaming for help. Before they can say much more, I shift into my wolf form and take off running. I follow Stephanie’s scent far into the woods…. until I come to a small clearing, which is covered in Stephanie’s blood. Her bloody clothes are tossed around, and chunks of her hair are thrown about as well. It is the worst, most savage site that I have ever seen. The smell of rogues is all over, so it is fairly obvious what has happened. The a---holes didn’t even bother to leave her body. *END OF FLASHBACK* Tears threaten to continue to fall as I think back to the scene last night. I have not slept or eaten since I found what was left of Stephanie, and I am having trouble holding my emotions together. Now that my eyes have spotted Lily, my anger with her becomes a welcome distraction. I have a very hard time looking away from her. The truth is that I have always found myself strangely curious about her, but today… today all I want to do is take my anger out on someone, and she seems as good a target as anyone else. Her teenage behavior cost me my mate! And it cost this pack its future luna! My wolf, Luke, begs me to calm down. It is an interesting thing, having the wolf side try to calm the human side. As upset and angry and emotional as I am, it is tempting to ignore him and immediately start teach that Little Brat a lesson. However, I decide to follow Luke's advice after he reminds me that Stephanie deserves to have her funeral be all about her and not some whiny teenage brat. That does not mean that I am going to let Lily get away with what she has done, but I wait until a more appropriate time to take my revenge. I turn my focus back to Stephanie’s casket, which we filled with her bloody clothes, hair, and anything that could be found at the site that had her blood on it. The casket has been brought to the center of the amphitheater. The alpha and beta families take their seats in the front row, and my father and the pack priest move beside the casket to begin the ceremony. The ceremony involves a lot of prayers, rituals, and speakers. The average ceremony takes 2-3 hours, and Stephanie's will most likely take closer to 4-5 hours given her status in the pack and how beloved she was. During the ceremony, I keep trying to distract myself by looking around as others around me. I do not want to be seen as weak by curling into the fetal position and wailing like a baby, even though that is the only thing I want to do right now. My heart breaks as I glance at Stephanie’s parents next to me in the front row, holding on to one another as they cry. Seeing Stephanie’s father —a strong, powerful Beta wolf— break down is a sight I have very rarely seen. The pain in his eyes is heart-wrenching. I also notice Stephanie's brother, Nick, as he clings to his mate, Jenny. Both of them are crying as well. Nick is my best friend, and I have known him since we were tiny pups, but I have literally never seen him cry. I notice that there are no dry eyes anywhere. Even my father has a few stray tears running down his cheeks, although I am sure he would punch anyone who pointed it out. He is a proud man, just like me. As the sky continues to darken, I notice the Little Brat starting to act like she is uncomfortable in her seat. I can tell that Stephanie's mother is getting agitated, and rightly so. For once, can the Little Brat not think about something other than herself? Seriously. It is one ceremony. Just one. For an older sister who died trying to help her. How dare the Little Brat not hold herself together? The next thing I know, the moon is high in the sky and the final rites are being spoken by the priest. As exactly that moment, the Little Brat whispers something in her mother’s ear. Her mother turns and glares at her, causing the Little Brat to put her head down. I then watch as the Little Brat stands up and walks away. She looks like she is in pain, and I hope that she is. How dare she walk away from her sister’s funeral! Especially in the middle of the last rites! I am tempted to follow her and give her a piece of my mind, but Stephanie means more to me than that. I remind myself once again that I will get my revenge on Lily aka the Little Brat soon enough. For tonight, I must remain focused on the love of my life. Chapter 3: Lily Meets Rose “Y-yes.” “Good. Now open your eyes.” I opened my eyes and immediately noticed that I was not human anymore. My feet and hands were paws. I then looked into the water that pooled at the edge of the waterfall, and I saw my reflection… or rather the reflection of Rose. My heart stopped. There are many different types of wolves —alpha wolves; beta wolves; gamma wolves; warrior wolves; silver wolves; white wolves; red wolves; omega wolves. And even within those categories, there are varying sizes and colors and markings. We learn about the types of wolves in school. “Expect the unexpected” was a phrase that was often said about the first transition, but in reality your wolf generally follows your lineage: the children of alpha wolves will generally be alpha wolves; the children of beta wolves will generally be beta wolves; and so on. Typically, the big excitement —especially with children of ranked wolves— centers on the size, color, and personality of the new wolf. Looking back at me in the reflection of the pool was a type of wolf I had never seen or learned about in school. Rose’s fur was a beautiful bluish-silver color that almost glowed. On the right side of her rump was a large black crescent moon symbol, and the black coloring of that symbol matched her solid black paws and black tail. In addition, I noticed that Rose was huge. Although it was tough to tell, it appeared to me that Rose was at least as large as some alpha wolves. “What type of wolf are we, Rose?” “A special type. You will learn more as time goes on, but know that the Moon Goddess has blessed you and I, Lily.” I did not say anything; I was not sure what to say. Rose and I sat by the waterfall for a while longer, until I remembered Stephanie’s funeral. “We need to get back!” I told Rose in a panic. Rose guided me through how to transform back to our human form, and I frantically searched the nearby trees for clothes. I found a men’s t-shirt and shorts. Both were far too big for my small frame, so I opted to just put the t-shirt on. I also grabbed my eye-glasses off the ground and put them on; thankfully they did not break during the transition. Now that I had Rose, I would not need the glasses anymore because she would heal my eyes. However, Rose warned me that —for now— it was best that I continue to wear the glasses and let the pack believe that I did not yet have my wolf. I thought it was a curious thing for her to say, but I had no reason to not trust her. I hurried back to the packhouse and got into the beta suite, hoping to quickly change clothes and re-join the mourning crowd. Unfortunately, once I got in the suite, I was met with the angry, accusing eyes of my mother. “WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? HOW DARE YOU MAKE A SCENE AT YOUR SISTER’S FUNERAL! HAVE YOU NO SHAME? ARE YOU SO SELFISH AND SELF-CENTERED THAT YOU CAN THINK OF NO ONE BUT YOURSELF?” I said nothing. What could I say? My mother then did something that, in my 14 years, she had never done before. She slapped me. Hard. And the beating continued from there. Chapter 4: Living in the Shadows (6 years later) (Lily POV) Six years have now passed since that fateful day that Stephanie died. I wish that I could say that life has moved on, and that we have found good in the bad... but for the most part, it isn't true. Stephanie is just as much a part of this pack today as she was before she died. And the grief felt in the pack is just as raw and angry as it was that first day. If anything has changed, it is that --instead of Stephanie being out in the center of things-- she lives on almost like a shadow over everything. She now has a couple of streets named after her --Stephanie Lane and Steffie Avenue (her nickname was "Steffie"); and you can quite literally find some of her favorite outfits on display in glass cases at various places throughout the pack. Even more bizarre, the day she died was turned into a pack holiday, as was her birthday. Everyone but pack omegas have both days off from work, school, and training, and there are somber celebrations and remembrances planned to commemorate each occasion. I once made the mistake of asking my parents whether this was a normal reaction to the death of a single she-wolf. We can love and miss her, but to continue to hold large ceremonies every year? And to treat her as a saint and forget that she had a human side too? That seemed a bit too much to me. As far as I know, the pack has never done this for any other luna or future luna, and it only honors 2-3 historical alphas in such a manner. I was rewarded for my questions by being called jealous and hateful. (I also received a significant beating, but beatings had become commonplace from my mother, so I cannot say that my question necessarily triggered the beating I received that day. Plus, the beating hurt far less than what I received before Stephanie died. But for the slight pain and who did the beating, I almost would not have minded.) Overall, I think the worst part of losing Stephanie six years ago wasn't losing Stephanie... it was how losing Stephanie impacted my relationship with my parents and other pack members. Before Stephanie died, I was well aware that Stephanie was my parents' favorite. My older brother Nick and I would even joke about it from time to time. But even though Stephanie was their favorite, they still treated me really well and loved me. They never would have raised a hand to me before Stephanie died. After Stephanie died, however, my parents could barely look at me. And when they did, I saw the unmistakable wish in their eyes that it had been me, not Stephanie, that died that fateful night. In addition, my parents stopped caring about my well-being generally. I lived in their house until I was 17, but I was responsible for my own meals and necessities. I was forced to take on a part-time job at a nearby diner just to ensure I had clothes and food to eat. (I technically could have eaten the food that was available in the packhouse, but the dirty looks and mean comments made by my parents, James, and other pack members were enough to make that an unrealistic option.) Also, in case you are wondering, I have not celebrated a birthday since Stephanie died. Not one single soul other than Rose has bothered to tell me happy birthday. No one even bothered to ask me whether I had received my wolf. That wasn't because birthdays stopped being important; it was just mine whose meaning changed. I attended plenty of birthday parties, and the pack hosted plenty of 14th birthday celebrations. In fact, I think it was because of one of those birthday celebrations that someone finally questioned whether I had received a wolf. It was a legitimate question, given that I was over 14 and never joined a pack run. Rose encouraged me early on to skip them "for safety reasons," and I was all too happy to do so. Had anyone bothered to ask me directly about my wolf or about why I was skipping the pack runs, I would have been honest... but no one ever did. Instead, a rumor spread that I was wolfless. Pack members speculated that I lost my wolf as a result of post-traumatic stress from losing Stephanie and/or guilt for what I had done to Stephanie. That latter theory was the one that really got under my skin, because I knew that was a theory and rumor spread by James. Shortly after Stephanie's funeral, he told my parents and most of the pack that Stephanie was only in the forest that night to save me. He also said I had gone out to meet a boy. I have no idea why he would say such things; I have never had a boyfriend and Stephanie was the one who asked me to meet her in the forest. This rumor was the main reason that I received a beating from my mother the night of my first shift. And it probably adds to the reason that pack members wish me dead. Notably, though, I have never dared to defend myself. To tell the truth would be the equivalent of talking negatively of both Stephanie and our future alpha.... and would likely lead to a death sentence. So instead, I have always just pushed through. One of the ways that I have survived is to hold on to the faith that one day things will be different. Another thing that I have done is take every last opportunity to leave the pack. For example, I hurried through high school so that I could graduate early, and I then went away to college. To avoid coming home, I have been loading up on credit hours and taking every term of school -including the mini winter sessions-- that I can get. I am also taking advantage of a unique expedited program offered just for werewolves doctors. Given all of these things, I actually expect that I can become a fully licensed werewolf doctor in just a couple more years. Until I become fully licensed and independent, I will have to continue to bear the shadow of my sister and the pain that comes with it. I am required to be present for both of her holidays --all pack members are; there are no exceptions-- but thankfully those are among the very few times that I can reliably be found at the Western Mountain pack these days. My ultimate goal is to meet my mate and become a pack doctor in his pack... which I pray to the Moon Goddess is not the Western Mountain pack. If, Goddess forbid, my mate is in this pack, perhaps I can convince him to transfer packs with me. Goddess willing. Tomorrow is my birthday. I guess we will find out then. Chapter 5: Without His Luna (James POV) Tomorrow will mark six years since Stephanie died. Everything and nothing has changed. I still think of Stephanie every single day. Her beautiful smile. Her laugh. The kindness that she showed to pack members. The ethusiam that she showed for her luna training. Stephanie would have been an amazing and strong luna. Had Stephanie lived, we would have been happily married by now. We would probably have already had at least two adorable pups, who would have been doted on by two loving sets of grandparents. Together, Stephanie and I would have been leading the West Mountain Pack to new heights. Of course, Stephanie is no longer here. And without Stephanie… Well, without Stephanie, I am only a fraction of the man that I used to be, and only a fraction of the wolf. Without Stephanie, I am not even Alpha yet. In our world, most alpha heirs take over from their fathers between 25 and 30 years old. That timing ensures that most alphas will have already found their mates before they take over the running of a pack. Running a pack is not easy to do by yourself. Even with a strong beta and a strong gamma, a luna’s importance to a pack cannot be underestimated. A luna brings heart and balance to a pack and to the alpha himself. She is the alpha’s equal, and she is one of the few werewolves in the pack who can get away with challenging and questioning an alpha’s decisions. If she exercises her role properly and judiciously, a luna’s presence can lead to better overall outcomes, decisions, and governing. This is especially true if the luna is the alpha’s fated mate, because it means she takes on her role with the blessing of the Moon Goddess. Alpha heirs who take over their packs prior to turning 25 typically do so either out of necessity, or because they have been fortunate to have been mated very early to a strong luna. Six years ago, when Stephanie was still alive, my father thought we were going to be part of the lucky latter category. He had been very eager to take an early retirement. He and my mother had fantasized about all the European trips and Caribbean cruises that they would take after I was sworn in as alpha, and they had already had tentative plans for at least one of those trips. Of course, all of those plans were ultimately scrapped. Today, I am old enough to take over as alpha, even without a luna by my side… but my father is concerned that I am not mentally strong enough to do so yet. He sees me as broken. My father is probably right. It is a little hard not to feel broken. The reminders of Stephanie are everywhere. Even after six long years, I feel like I cannot escape from the reminders or from my grief, and it is suffocating. The packhouse has practically turned into a mini museum to her, and almost all of the local businesses have some sort of small dedication, whether it be a dedicated drink, food item, picture, or shelf of Stephanie-inspired items. Worse, twice a year, we hold a series of ceremonies and remembrances for Stephanie. As Stephanie’s mate and as the future alpha heir, I am expected to attend every one of them. I want to be there. I know that I should be there. But… It is complete and utter torture. Every day without Stephanie is difficult, but Stephanie’s birthdays and death anniversaries always hit me the hardest. What I want to do more than anything on those two days is be by myself so that I can process my grief. There is a waterfall that I like to go to. If I could, I would spend all day there on both days. The waterfall isn’t exactly hidden, but to find it, you have to go pretty far within the woods and know where to go. As far as I know, I am the only one in our pack who ever goes there. Being at the waterfall brings me comfort; it always has. That is where I want to be when I am grieving or upset. Unfortunately, instead of spending time in the comfort of my waterfall, I have to spend the two hardest days each year out in public with almost 20,000 eyes watching my every move and every reaction. Instead of just… grieving… I have to be conscientious of how every display of emotion can impact and be perceived by the pack members. As I listen to pack members, Stephanie’s parents, and my own parents take turns telling stories about Stephanie and her good deeds, I am expected to somehow strike an impossible balance between sadness and strength. At each of the events, year after year, the remembrances are largely the same. At this point, I practically have the speeches memorized. The speeches usually include stories about how Stephanie would bake cookies and send her sister to deliver them to the guards working the late-night shift on the borders. And stories about how any time anyone was injured in training or at battle, she would not only have her sister deliver care baskets to patients at the hospital, but she would also put one together for any family members separated from them while they were recovering. My parents talk about how eager Stephanie was to take on her position as luna, and how dedicated she was to her training, even working on lessons for hours at home multiple times per week. Stephanie’s parents talk about their prior dreams for their daughter and the hole they continue to feel in their hearts. Nick talks about how family celebrations do not feel the same without Stephanie there, and Jenny talks about wishing that she still had a sister-in-law to bond with and engage in girl talk. The only blessing is that —as the grieving mate— no one expects me to say anything at these events. But that does not spare me from the staring and judgment. If I show too much sadness, pack members worry that I am weak and will not able to be the leader of the pack in the future. If I seem too stoic or show too much “strength,” pack members could perceive me being disrespectful towards Stephanie’s memory. They will also worry that my reign as alpha will lack balance and compassion…. which I already hear whispers about from time to time. Sometimes, I feel angry about the whole thing. I would never, ever expect anyone who has lost their mate to put themselves on a stage multiple times a year and be judged on whether their external grief is appropriate enough. And yet my parents have no problem doing it to me. I tried to push back once, but only once. As you can imagine, it did not go well. I started the conversation by telling my parents that I did not think it was healthy for me to be surrounded by constant reminders of Stephanie, and I told them that I thought the constant remembrances were counterproductive to my mental health. I suggested that we scale back the events, or make them more private affairs. My father got angry and accused me of being selfish. He told me that being uncomfortable and coping with the pressure of judgmental pack members is part of being an alpha. Meanwhile, my mother reminded me that the ceremonies had been Stephanie’s parents’ idea, and she asked me if I wanted to be the one to tell them it was no longer important to celebrate Stephanie’s life. No, of course I did not want to tell Stephanie's parents that. No, I did not want to be selfish. I just wanted --and still want-- to not feel so sad all the time. Six years in, and the only reprieve I ever get from my grief is when the Little Brat is around. She has made herself scarce the last few years, but when she is around, my wolf and I can sense her from a mile away. My wolf and I fight about her all the time --for some reason, Luke seems to have a soft spot for the Little Brat-- but we can agree that it is nice having her around. For me, it's because I have a worthy target for my anger and rage. Chapter 8: Daddy's Girl (Lily POV) The drive to the pack house was eerily silent. After my father and I arrived at the pack house, my father quickly exited the vehicle and headed to his office, leaving me on my own. I timidly and cautiously got into the beta suite, but I was relieved to find that my mother was already in bed. I decided to go directly to my room and try to sleep as well. Unfortunately, I ended up tossing and turning all night. The look on my father's face when talking to the guards continued to haunt me. When I did sleep, I had nightmares. Strangely, Rose seemed restless too, but other than briefly wishing me a happy birthday after it hit midnight, she did not say anything. I think the main thing that provoked my nightmares and kept me up was that my heart ached for my father. I knew that I wanted to help him with his pain and ease his suffering, but I was not sure what I could do or say to make things better. It has already been six years. If time has not helped heal his heart, what could I do? The truth is, I am not Stephanie and I never will be. The only thing I have ever known how to do for my father is to try to stay out of his way. At least for my mother, I can serve as a literal punching bag to help her relieve her grief. And for others in the pack, I can serve as both a literal and metaphorical punching bag. But, I am nothing to my father: my father has neglected me and ignored the sufferings I went through, but he has never directly participated in any of them. Perhaps that is one reason his pain upsets me more than the pain of everyone else. He is the least awful amongst my current tormentors, and I can sometimes lie to myself that he does not know or agree with how much I have suffered. I know that it probably seems strange that my heart aches for him at all, given that he is someone who, for the most part, could care less about me. However, please understand that for my own sanity, I have chosen to remember and hold on to the good times in my childhood. Of course, there is also the fact that... regardless of how my father currently feels about me... I have always been --and will probably always be-- a daddy's girl. It is just part of who I am. Since I was in diapers, I have looked up to my father and considered him to be my superhero. Before Stephanie died, I never saw an ounce of weakness in him. He was my strength and my rock. I always had an strong desire to make him proud of me. He was always the first one I ran to when I got a good grade on a test, or when I drew a picture I thought he might like. And ...before Stephanie died... he was always the first one to dry my tears when I got hurt or to give me reassuring praise when I felt down. Even though I knew Stephanie was his favorite... even though I knew Stephanie's accomplishments would always be greater, and that he would always be more proud of her... those little things mattered to me. I lived for those moments. Sigh. By 5:30 am, I gave up on any hope of further sleep. Stephanie's first remembrance event was not scheduled until 11 am, so I knew I had a little bit of time. Eager to take advantage of that time and also avoid my mother, I took a quick shower, packed a small backpack, and headed out of the house. Predictably, my feet led me to the waterfall that I had shifted in front of six years ago. I have come here at least twice a year since Stephanie died, usually on her birthday and death anniversary. The waterfall brings me an odd sense of peace. As beautiful as it is, I do not know anyone else who comes here. Perhaps that is why I like it so much. I sighed. "It is easy to tell myself that when I am away from the pack and not having to cope with the consequences. It is a lot harder to believe that I am blameless when everyone around me is crying and upset all the time. You saw my dad last night. That nearly broke me. He is still hurting so much." "That does not make any of it your fault," Rose protests. "Rose, the day before Stephanie died, I prayed that the Moon Goddess stop Stephanie from continuing to hurt me." "She was not hurting you, Lily. She was torturing you. There is nothing wrong with you praying that it stop." "There is if it cost Stephanie her life." "Lily, you are not giving the Moon Goddess enough credit. You are smarter and stronger than this. You need to stop with the emotional vomit and ---" Suddenly Rose stops talking through the link. She is pacing back in forth in my head. I have no idea what is going on, until the overwhelming scent of vanilla and coffee beans hits my nose. "Mate! Lily, our mate is here! Mate, mate, mate, mate, mate!!!" I stand, dust the ashes off of my jeans, and turn around. My heart drops when I recognize the werewolf standing about 200 feet away from me. This has to be a joke. This cannot be happening.	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2,378,783	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) '{"alias":2378710}'	No	2024-11-06 00:42	active	1739	🔞🔥 Continuer la lecture ➤➤	(Lily POV) Today is my 14th birthday. There will not be birthday cake, singing, or a party. Instead, we are attending a funeral. My sister's funeral, to be exact. Before my sister... died... we had a large party planned for me. I normally do not have a big party, but 14th birthdays are a really big event to werewolves. They are the day that we first meet our wolves. The next monumental birthday is our 20th birthday; that is when can first identify our fated mates. I am our Beta’s youngest daughter, and my father is loved and well-respected. Everyone was excited to meet my wolf and to see what type of wolf she would be. Thus, the guest list for my party was pretty large, and it included ranked wolves from nearby packs. I am normally a little bit of a loner, hence why I usually do not have a big birthday party. However, for this particular occasion, I was happy to have a lot of guests. Meeting your wolf comes with the first shift/ transition, and that can be incredibly painful. As inherently social creatures, the only thing known to help wolves with the pain of the first shift is to have supportive family, friends, and community around you. The way that it typically works is that the pack will host a dinner or barbeque in your honor. As night falls, and the moon replaces the sun in the sky, everyone will gather inside the pack amphitheater. The shifter-to-be will stand in the middle of the amphitheater while guests quietly chant well wishes and prayers to the Moon Goddess. The energy in the space can be electrifying for everyone present, no matter whether there are 25 attendees or 500. Once the first shift is completed, the new wolf will prance around the stage and strut their stuff. The crowd will “ooh” and “aah” until the pack alpha approaches, learns the new wolf’s name, and introduces the wolf to the crowd. The new wolf will also swear his or her allegiance to the pack and to the alpha, allowing the wolf to mind-link with other pack wolves. Finally, the new wolf and any guests old enough to shift will go for a pack run. The whole process is incredibly special and exciting. As you might imagine, décor is also an important part of the party planning process. Each shifter gets to decide the decorations and party theme that will be used for their party. If more than one wolf turns 14 on the same day, the wolves can either agree on a theme or split the party into parts that they can individually decorate. The pack luna will then work some sort of magic that somehow blends the individual areas into one cohesive theme in the center. My birthday is in October, and despite how large our pack is, I am the only one born on that day. I love having an October birthday because my favorite season is fall. For my décor, I had picked flowers and decorations in rich fall colors, including deep oranges, reds, and greens. Unfortunately, none of my party decorations will be used. Or rather, none of my decorations will be used for me. As I mentioned, we are holding a funeral today instead. My oldest sister, Stephanie, died this morning. Pack and religious tradition dictates that we must hold funerals within 24 hours of death. Because Stephanie died shortly after midnight, her funeral must be held today. All food and décor set aside for my birthday party was therefore immediately diverted for the funeral; thankfully my fall themed colors were sufficiently somber-ish to work. All decorations that seemed relatively “happy”, celebratory, or that mention me have been removed. Pictures of Stephanie have now been placed on tables and podiums, and the music I selected has been swapped out for songs about loss or Stephanie’s favorites. The loss of Stephanie is a really hurting. Not only was she my sister and my parents’ oldest and favorite child, she was also widely anticipated to be the mate of Alpha Randall’s son, James, which meant she was most likely the future luna of our pack. Stephanie would have turned 20 in three months, and she and James would have been able to confirm that they were mates then. The pack was so sure that they were mates —and Alpha Randall was so eager to turn the pack over to James and his mate, once she was identified and ready to take on the luna position— that they deviated from standard protocols and decided to begin Stephanie’s Luna training just after she turned 18. If I am being completely honest, something never sat right with me about Stephanie starting Luna training. Part of it is what Stephanie's Luna training meant for me, but that is a separate conversation. The biggest thing was that I did not understand why luna training could not wait until Stephanie turned 20 and could confirm who her mate was. Lunas for generations have waited for their training; why couldn't Stephanie? It also bothered me quite a bit to watch Stephanie hang all over James at pack functions. Our pack frowned upon dating and public displays of affection prior to finding your mate; it created too much risk for problems, anger, and jealousy once your mate was located. For whatever reason, an exception was made for Stephanie. But then again, exceptions always were made for her. Stephanie was strong and absolutely beautiful, and the pack knew her as being kind, smart, and energetic. She could do no wrong in the eyes of my parents, the alpha, or the pack. I hope I do not sound too jealous or bitter. I loved my sister, and her death is hitting me really hard. It’s just that…. I knew a different side of my sister than everyone else, and I know more than anyone that my sister was far from perfect. Had I spoken up before she died, I would have been accused of jealousy and lying. And were I to speak up now, well… I would be accused of jealousy, lying, AND improperly speaking ill of the dead. It is easier to just let it go. Along with my birthday. It isn't that important anyway. I do not want to be selfish or self-centered. The only immediate problem with letting go is that --bad timing or not-- I am going to shift for the first time tonight. There is nothing I can do to stop or postpone it, as much as I would like to do so. I am worried about how it is going to go. Hopefully, during the reception, my mother or father or brother or someone will be willing to step aside with me for a 20-30 minutes just to get me through it. We could then return and act like everything is normal. Or as normal as it can be with Stephanie now gone. Sadly, I should have known that nothing in life is that easy. Chapter 2: The Little Brat (James POV) I watch sadly as the casket is carried from the temple to the burial grounds. It is a cold October day, and the gray sky and drizzly weather adds to the overall somber atmosphere. I cannot help but be impressed at how quickly the pack was able to pull everything together for Stephanie's funeral. All funerals happen quickly in our world, but because of how fast the funerals must take place, the décor and guest list is usually somewhat lacking. It is a testament to how much Stephanie was loved that they were able to put together so many beautiful floral arrangements in her honor, and that so many people were able to be here to honor her life, including many wolves from other packs. If it wasn't for it being such a horrible occasion, I would actually describe the color scheme as beautiful. Then again, fall has always been one of my favorite seasons. I am vaguely aware that we had some other function on the calendar today, but I honestly cannot think of what it was. With a large pack —the West Mountain Pack has over 10,000 members— we have a lot of functions. As the future alpha, I am expected to attend as many of them as I possibly can, but no one expects me to remember what they all are… even if I try to pretend in the moment. Unless reminded by an Omega or my amazing girlfriend, I can't even seem to remember my own mother and father's birthdays most of the time. My amazing girlfriend. I sigh, wiping a tear from my eye. She will never again be around to remind me about birthdays. Sadly, there will be no pretending that I know what today's ceremony is about. Stephanie Brogan was the love of my life, and she was my future mate and luna. I still cannot believe that she is gone. We never even got to fully experience the mate bond, including the sparks betwwen us. Had she lived just three months longer, our wolves would have confirmed one another as mates and Stephanie would have been able to formally claim her proper place in my bed and in my life. Instead of welcoming her body into my bed, I am saying good-bye to her today. I am also saying good-bye to all of our future plans and dreams together. I cannot help but feel anger and resentment about that. This is not how things were supposed to be. As I watch the funeral procession go by --my father, mother, and I, along with the beta family, must stand at the entrance as guests move from the temple to the burial grounds-- I catch a glimpse of Stephanie’s younger sister, Lily. She is standing next to her mother. She looks both sad and innocent, which causes the anger in my body to rise even more. That little brat is the reason that Stephanie is dead. *FLASHBACK TO LAST NIGHT* Stephanie and I are cuddled on the couch in the packhouse living room watching a movie. I have my hand on her arm and I am about to kiss her when she gets distracted by a text message. Stephanie did not let me see the message, which annoys me, but she quickly explains that Lily is lost in the forest after having snuck out to meet a boy. Stephanie’s sister is 13 or 14 years old. She has all the teenage acne and attitude that comes along with being that young. Unlike Stephanie —who has beautiful blond hair and hazel eyes— Lily has reddish brown hair and bright green eyes. Or at least I think they are bright green; she usually has them covered up with large black glasses. Stephanie gets up and tells me that Lily has texted her, begging her to come and find her. I am annoyed by the interruption, but I offer to go with Stephanie to get the little brat. Stephanie says Lily will be upset if anyone else knows about her little escapade. Stephanie reassures me that she will be fine, and then gives me a quick peck. My wolf and I have a bad feeling when Stephanie leaves, but Stephanie has us wrapped around her little finger. It is almost impossible for my wolf and I to disagree with her about anything. We pause the movie and decide to get some work done in my dad's office while we wait for Stephanie to get back. I am a night owl anyway, so I do not mind waiting. Unfortunately, about an hour after Stephanie leaves, I get an urgent mind-link from our pack warriors. They report that the Little Brat had been spotted running out of the woods screaming for help. Before they can say much more, I shift into my wolf form and take off running. I follow Stephanie’s scent far into the woods…. until I come to a small clearing, which is covered in Stephanie’s blood. Her bloody clothes are tossed around, and chunks of her hair are thrown about as well. It is the worst, most savage site that I have ever seen. The smell of rogues is all over, so it is fairly obvious what has happened. The a---holes didn’t even bother to leave her body. *END OF FLASHBACK* Tears threaten to continue to fall as I think back to the scene last night. I have not slept or eaten since I found what was left of Stephanie, and I am having trouble holding my emotions together. Now that my eyes have spotted Lily, my anger with her becomes a welcome distraction. I have a very hard time looking away from her. The truth is that I have always found myself strangely curious about her, but today… today all I want to do is take my anger out on someone, and she seems as good a target as anyone else. Her teenage behavior cost me my mate! And it cost this pack its future luna! My wolf, Luke, begs me to calm down. It is an interesting thing, having the wolf side try to calm the human side. As upset and angry and emotional as I am, it is tempting to ignore him and immediately start teach that Little Brat a lesson. However, I decide to follow Luke's advice after he reminds me that Stephanie deserves to have her funeral be all about her and not some whiny teenage brat. That does not mean that I am going to let Lily get away with what she has done, but I wait until a more appropriate time to take my revenge. I turn my focus back to Stephanie’s casket, which we filled with her bloody clothes, hair, and anything that could be found at the site that had her blood on it. The casket has been brought to the center of the amphitheater. The alpha and beta families take their seats in the front row, and my father and the pack priest move beside the casket to begin the ceremony. The ceremony involves a lot of prayers, rituals, and speakers. The average ceremony takes 2-3 hours, and Stephanie's will most likely take closer to 4-5 hours given her status in the pack and how beloved she was. During the ceremony, I keep trying to distract myself by looking around as others around me. I do not want to be seen as weak by curling into the fetal position and wailing like a baby, even though that is the only thing I want to do right now. My heart breaks as I glance at Stephanie’s parents next to me in the front row, holding on to one another as they cry. Seeing Stephanie’s father —a strong, powerful Beta wolf— break down is a sight I have very rarely seen. The pain in his eyes is heart-wrenching. I also notice Stephanie's brother, Nick, as he clings to his mate, Jenny. Both of them are crying as well. Nick is my best friend, and I have known him since we were tiny pups, but I have literally never seen him cry. I notice that there are no dry eyes anywhere. Even my father has a few stray tears running down his cheeks, although I am sure he would punch anyone who pointed it out. He is a proud man, just like me. As the sky continues to darken, I notice the Little Brat starting to act like she is uncomfortable in her seat. I can tell that Stephanie's mother is getting agitated, and rightly so. For once, can the Little Brat not think about something other than herself? Seriously. It is one ceremony. Just one. For an older sister who died trying to help her. How dare the Little Brat not hold herself together? The next thing I know, the moon is high in the sky and the final rites are being spoken by the priest. As exactly that moment, the Little Brat whispers something in her mother’s ear. Her mother turns and glares at her, causing the Little Brat to put her head down. I then watch as the Little Brat stands up and walks away. She looks like she is in pain, and I hope that she is. How dare she walk away from her sister’s funeral! Especially in the middle of the last rites! I am tempted to follow her and give her a piece of my mind, but Stephanie means more to me than that. I remind myself once again that I will get my revenge on Lily aka the Little Brat soon enough. For tonight, I must remain focused on the love of my life. Chapter 3: Lily Meets Rose “Y-yes.” “Good. Now open your eyes.” I opened my eyes and immediately noticed that I was not human anymore. My feet and hands were paws. I then looked into the water that pooled at the edge of the waterfall, and I saw my reflection… or rather the reflection of Rose. My heart stopped. There are many different types of wolves —alpha wolves; beta wolves; gamma wolves; warrior wolves; silver wolves; white wolves; red wolves; omega wolves. And even within those categories, there are varying sizes and colors and markings. We learn about the types of wolves in school. “Expect the unexpected” was a phrase that was often said about the first transition, but in reality your wolf generally follows your lineage: the children of alpha wolves will generally be alpha wolves; the children of beta wolves will generally be beta wolves; and so on. Typically, the big excitement —especially with children of ranked wolves— centers on the size, color, and personality of the new wolf. Looking back at me in the reflection of the pool was a type of wolf I had never seen or learned about in school. Rose’s fur was a beautiful bluish-silver color that almost glowed. On the right side of her rump was a large black crescent moon symbol, and the black coloring of that symbol matched her solid black paws and black tail. In addition, I noticed that Rose was huge. Although it was tough to tell, it appeared to me that Rose was at least as large as some alpha wolves. “What type of wolf are we, Rose?” “A special type. You will learn more as time goes on, but know that the Moon Goddess has blessed you and I, Lily.” I did not say anything; I was not sure what to say. Rose and I sat by the waterfall for a while longer, until I remembered Stephanie’s funeral. “We need to get back!” I told Rose in a panic. Rose guided me through how to transform back to our human form, and I frantically searched the nearby trees for clothes. I found a men’s t-shirt and shorts. Both were far too big for my small frame, so I opted to just put the t-shirt on. I also grabbed my eye-glasses off the ground and put them on; thankfully they did not break during the transition. Now that I had Rose, I would not need the glasses anymore because she would heal my eyes. However, Rose warned me that —for now— it was best that I continue to wear the glasses and let the pack believe that I did not yet have my wolf. I thought it was a curious thing for her to say, but I had no reason to not trust her. I hurried back to the packhouse and got into the beta suite, hoping to quickly change clothes and re-join the mourning crowd. Unfortunately, once I got in the suite, I was met with the angry, accusing eyes of my mother. “WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? HOW DARE YOU MAKE A SCENE AT YOUR SISTER’S FUNERAL! HAVE YOU NO SHAME? ARE YOU SO SELFISH AND SELF-CENTERED THAT YOU CAN THINK OF NO ONE BUT YOURSELF?” I said nothing. What could I say? My mother then did something that, in my 14 years, she had never done before. She slapped me. Hard. And the beating continued from there. Chapter 4: Living in the Shadows (6 years later) (Lily POV) Six years have now passed since that fateful day that Stephanie died. I wish that I could say that life has moved on, and that we have found good in the bad... but for the most part, it isn't true. Stephanie is just as much a part of this pack today as she was before she died. And the grief felt in the pack is just as raw and angry as it was that first day. If anything has changed, it is that --instead of Stephanie being out in the center of things-- she lives on almost like a shadow over everything. She now has a couple of streets named after her --Stephanie Lane and Steffie Avenue (her nickname was "Steffie"); and you can quite literally find some of her favorite outfits on display in glass cases at various places throughout the pack. Even more bizarre, the day she died was turned into a pack holiday, as was her birthday. Everyone but pack omegas have both days off from work, school, and training, and there are somber celebrations and remembrances planned to commemorate each occasion. I once made the mistake of asking my parents whether this was a normal reaction to the death of a single she-wolf. We can love and miss her, but to continue to hold large ceremonies every year? And to treat her as a saint and forget that she had a human side too? That seemed a bit too much to me. As far as I know, the pack has never done this for any other luna or future luna, and it only honors 2-3 historical alphas in such a manner. I was rewarded for my questions by being called jealous and hateful. (I also received a significant beating, but beatings had become commonplace from my mother, so I cannot say that my question necessarily triggered the beating I received that day. Plus, the beating hurt far less than what I received before Stephanie died. But for the slight pain and who did the beating, I almost would not have minded.) Overall, I think the worst part of losing Stephanie six years ago wasn't losing Stephanie... it was how losing Stephanie impacted my relationship with my parents and other pack members. Before Stephanie died, I was well aware that Stephanie was my parents' favorite. My older brother Nick and I would even joke about it from time to time. But even though Stephanie was their favorite, they still treated me really well and loved me. They never would have raised a hand to me before Stephanie died. After Stephanie died, however, my parents could barely look at me. And when they did, I saw the unmistakable wish in their eyes that it had been me, not Stephanie, that died that fateful night. In addition, my parents stopped caring about my well-being generally. I lived in their house until I was 17, but I was responsible for my own meals and necessities. I was forced to take on a part-time job at a nearby diner just to ensure I had clothes and food to eat. (I technically could have eaten the food that was available in the packhouse, but the dirty looks and mean comments made by my parents, James, and other pack members were enough to make that an unrealistic option.) Also, in case you are wondering, I have not celebrated a birthday since Stephanie died. Not one single soul other than Rose has bothered to tell me happy birthday. No one even bothered to ask me whether I had received my wolf. That wasn't because birthdays stopped being important; it was just mine whose meaning changed. I attended plenty of birthday parties, and the pack hosted plenty of 14th birthday celebrations. In fact, I think it was because of one of those birthday celebrations that someone finally questioned whether I had received a wolf. It was a legitimate question, given that I was over 14 and never joined a pack run. Rose encouraged me early on to skip them "for safety reasons," and I was all too happy to do so. Had anyone bothered to ask me directly about my wolf or about why I was skipping the pack runs, I would have been honest... but no one ever did. Instead, a rumor spread that I was wolfless. Pack members speculated that I lost my wolf as a result of post-traumatic stress from losing Stephanie and/or guilt for what I had done to Stephanie. That latter theory was the one that really got under my skin, because I knew that was a theory and rumor spread by James. Shortly after Stephanie's funeral, he told my parents and most of the pack that Stephanie was only in the forest that night to save me. He also said I had gone out to meet a boy. I have no idea why he would say such things; I have never had a boyfriend and Stephanie was the one who asked me to meet her in the forest. This rumor was the main reason that I received a beating from my mother the night of my first shift. And it probably adds to the reason that pack members wish me dead. Notably, though, I have never dared to defend myself. To tell the truth would be the equivalent of talking negatively of both Stephanie and our future alpha.... and would likely lead to a death sentence. So instead, I have always just pushed through. One of the ways that I have survived is to hold on to the faith that one day things will be different. Another thing that I have done is take every last opportunity to leave the pack. For example, I hurried through high school so that I could graduate early, and I then went away to college. To avoid coming home, I have been loading up on credit hours and taking every term of school -including the mini winter sessions-- that I can get. I am also taking advantage of a unique expedited program offered just for werewolves doctors. Given all of these things, I actually expect that I can become a fully licensed werewolf doctor in just a couple more years. Until I become fully licensed and independent, I will have to continue to bear the shadow of my sister and the pain that comes with it. I am required to be present for both of her holidays --all pack members are; there are no exceptions-- but thankfully those are among the very few times that I can reliably be found at the Western Mountain pack these days. My ultimate goal is to meet my mate and become a pack doctor in his pack... which I pray to the Moon Goddess is not the Western Mountain pack. If, Goddess forbid, my mate is in this pack, perhaps I can convince him to transfer packs with me. Goddess willing. Tomorrow is my birthday. I guess we will find out then. Chapter 5: Without His Luna (James POV) Tomorrow will mark six years since Stephanie died. Everything and nothing has changed. I still think of Stephanie every single day. Her beautiful smile. Her laugh. The kindness that she showed to pack members. The ethusiam that she showed for her luna training. Stephanie would have been an amazing and strong luna. Had Stephanie lived, we would have been happily married by now. We would probably have already had at least two adorable pups, who would have been doted on by two loving sets of grandparents. Together, Stephanie and I would have been leading the West Mountain Pack to new heights. Of course, Stephanie is no longer here. And without Stephanie… Well, without Stephanie, I am only a fraction of the man that I used to be, and only a fraction of the wolf. Without Stephanie, I am not even Alpha yet. In our world, most alpha heirs take over from their fathers between 25 and 30 years old. That timing ensures that most alphas will have already found their mates before they take over the running of a pack. Running a pack is not easy to do by yourself. Even with a strong beta and a strong gamma, a luna’s importance to a pack cannot be underestimated. A luna brings heart and balance to a pack and to the alpha himself. She is the alpha’s equal, and she is one of the few werewolves in the pack who can get away with challenging and questioning an alpha’s decisions. If she exercises her role properly and judiciously, a luna’s presence can lead to better overall outcomes, decisions, and governing. This is especially true if the luna is the alpha’s fated mate, because it means she takes on her role with the blessing of the Moon Goddess. Alpha heirs who take over their packs prior to turning 25 typically do so either out of necessity, or because they have been fortunate to have been mated very early to a strong luna. Six years ago, when Stephanie was still alive, my father thought we were going to be part of the lucky latter category. He had been very eager to take an early retirement. He and my mother had fantasized about all the European trips and Caribbean cruises that they would take after I was sworn in as alpha, and they had already had tentative plans for at least one of those trips. Of course, all of those plans were ultimately scrapped. Today, I am old enough to take over as alpha, even without a luna by my side… but my father is concerned that I am not mentally strong enough to do so yet. He sees me as broken. My father is probably right. It is a little hard not to feel broken. The reminders of Stephanie are everywhere. Even after six long years, I feel like I cannot escape from the reminders or from my grief, and it is suffocating. The packhouse has practically turned into a mini museum to her, and almost all of the local businesses have some sort of small dedication, whether it be a dedicated drink, food item, picture, or shelf of Stephanie-inspired items. Worse, twice a year, we hold a series of ceremonies and remembrances for Stephanie. As Stephanie’s mate and as the future alpha heir, I am expected to attend every one of them. I want to be there. I know that I should be there. But… It is complete and utter torture. Every day without Stephanie is difficult, but Stephanie’s birthdays and death anniversaries always hit me the hardest. What I want to do more than anything on those two days is be by myself so that I can process my grief. There is a waterfall that I like to go to. If I could, I would spend all day there on both days. The waterfall isn’t exactly hidden, but to find it, you have to go pretty far within the woods and know where to go. As far as I know, I am the only one in our pack who ever goes there. Being at the waterfall brings me comfort; it always has. That is where I want to be when I am grieving or upset. Unfortunately, instead of spending time in the comfort of my waterfall, I have to spend the two hardest days each year out in public with almost 20,000 eyes watching my every move and every reaction. Instead of just… grieving… I have to be conscientious of how every display of emotion can impact and be perceived by the pack members. As I listen to pack members, Stephanie’s parents, and my own parents take turns telling stories about Stephanie and her good deeds, I am expected to somehow strike an impossible balance between sadness and strength. At each of the events, year after year, the remembrances are largely the same. At this point, I practically have the speeches memorized. The speeches usually include stories about how Stephanie would bake cookies and send her sister to deliver them to the guards working the late-night shift on the borders. And stories about how any time anyone was injured in training or at battle, she would not only have her sister deliver care baskets to patients at the hospital, but she would also put one together for any family members separated from them while they were recovering. My parents talk about how eager Stephanie was to take on her position as luna, and how dedicated she was to her training, even working on lessons for hours at home multiple times per week. Stephanie’s parents talk about their prior dreams for their daughter and the hole they continue to feel in their hearts. Nick talks about how family celebrations do not feel the same without Stephanie there, and Jenny talks about wishing that she still had a sister-in-law to bond with and engage in girl talk. The only blessing is that —as the grieving mate— no one expects me to say anything at these events. But that does not spare me from the staring and judgment. If I show too much sadness, pack members worry that I am weak and will not able to be the leader of the pack in the future. If I seem too stoic or show too much “strength,” pack members could perceive me being disrespectful towards Stephanie’s memory. They will also worry that my reign as alpha will lack balance and compassion…. which I already hear whispers about from time to time. Sometimes, I feel angry about the whole thing. I would never, ever expect anyone who has lost their mate to put themselves on a stage multiple times a year and be judged on whether their external grief is appropriate enough. And yet my parents have no problem doing it to me. I tried to push back once, but only once. As you can imagine, it did not go well. I started the conversation by telling my parents that I did not think it was healthy for me to be surrounded by constant reminders of Stephanie, and I told them that I thought the constant remembrances were counterproductive to my mental health. I suggested that we scale back the events, or make them more private affairs. My father got angry and accused me of being selfish. He told me that being uncomfortable and coping with the pressure of judgmental pack members is part of being an alpha. Meanwhile, my mother reminded me that the ceremonies had been Stephanie’s parents’ idea, and she asked me if I wanted to be the one to tell them it was no longer important to celebrate Stephanie’s life. No, of course I did not want to tell Stephanie's parents that. No, I did not want to be selfish. I just wanted --and still want-- to not feel so sad all the time. Six years in, and the only reprieve I ever get from my grief is when the Little Brat is around. She has made herself scarce the last few years, but when she is around, my wolf and I can sense her from a mile away. My wolf and I fight about her all the time --for some reason, Luke seems to have a soft spot for the Little Brat-- but we can agree that it is nice having her around. For me, it's because I have a worthy target for my anger and rage. Chapter 8: Daddy's Girl (Lily POV) The drive to the pack house was eerily silent. After my father and I arrived at the pack house, my father quickly exited the vehicle and headed to his office, leaving me on my own. I timidly and cautiously got into the beta suite, but I was relieved to find that my mother was already in bed. I decided to go directly to my room and try to sleep as well. Unfortunately, I ended up tossing and turning all night. The look on my father's face when talking to the guards continued to haunt me. When I did sleep, I had nightmares. Strangely, Rose seemed restless too, but other than briefly wishing me a happy birthday after it hit midnight, she did not say anything. I think the main thing that provoked my nightmares and kept me up was that my heart ached for my father. I knew that I wanted to help him with his pain and ease his suffering, but I was not sure what I could do or say to make things better. It has already been six years. If time has not helped heal his heart, what could I do? The truth is, I am not Stephanie and I never will be. The only thing I have ever known how to do for my father is to try to stay out of his way. At least for my mother, I can serve as a literal punching bag to help her relieve her grief. And for others in the pack, I can serve as both a literal and metaphorical punching bag. But, I am nothing to my father: my father has neglected me and ignored the sufferings I went through, but he has never directly participated in any of them. Perhaps that is one reason his pain upsets me more than the pain of everyone else. He is the least awful amongst my current tormentors, and I can sometimes lie to myself that he does not know or agree with how much I have suffered. I know that it probably seems strange that my heart aches for him at all, given that he is someone who, for the most part, could care less about me. However, please understand that for my own sanity, I have chosen to remember and hold on to the good times in my childhood. Of course, there is also the fact that... regardless of how my father currently feels about me... I have always been --and will probably always be-- a daddy's girl. It is just part of who I am. Since I was in diapers, I have looked up to my father and considered him to be my superhero. Before Stephanie died, I never saw an ounce of weakness in him. He was my strength and my rock. I always had an strong desire to make him proud of me. He was always the first one I ran to when I got a good grade on a test, or when I drew a picture I thought he might like. And ...before Stephanie died... he was always the first one to dry my tears when I got hurt or to give me reassuring praise when I felt down. Even though I knew Stephanie was his favorite... even though I knew Stephanie's accomplishments would always be greater, and that he would always be more proud of her... those little things mattered to me. I lived for those moments. Sigh. By 5:30 am, I gave up on any hope of further sleep. Stephanie's first remembrance event was not scheduled until 11 am, so I knew I had a little bit of time. Eager to take advantage of that time and also avoid my mother, I took a quick shower, packed a small backpack, and headed out of the house. Predictably, my feet led me to the waterfall that I had shifted in front of six years ago. I have come here at least twice a year since Stephanie died, usually on her birthday and death anniversary. The waterfall brings me an odd sense of peace. As beautiful as it is, I do not know anyone else who comes here. Perhaps that is why I like it so much. I sighed. "It is easy to tell myself that when I am away from the pack and not having to cope with the consequences. It is a lot harder to believe that I am blameless when everyone around me is crying and upset all the time. You saw my dad last night. That nearly broke me. He is still hurting so much." "That does not make any of it your fault," Rose protests. "Rose, the day before Stephanie died, I prayed that the Moon Goddess stop Stephanie from continuing to hurt me." "She was not hurting you, Lily. She was torturing you. There is nothing wrong with you praying that it stop." "There is if it cost Stephanie her life." "Lily, you are not giving the Moon Goddess enough credit. You are smarter and stronger than this. You need to stop with the emotional vomit and ---" Suddenly Rose stops talking through the link. She is pacing back in forth in my head. I have no idea what is going on, until the overwhelming scent of vanilla and coffee beans hits my nose. "Mate! Lily, our mate is here! Mate, mate, mate, mate, mate!!!" I stand, dust the ashes off of my jeans, and turn around. My heart drops when I recognize the werewolf standing about 200 feet away from me. This has to be a joke. This cannot be happening.	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2,378,788	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) '{"alias":2378710}'	Yes	2024-11-06 00:42	active	1739	🔞🔥 Continuer la lecture ➤➤	(Lily POV) Today is my 14th birthday. There will not be birthday cake, singing, or a party. Instead, we are attending a funeral. My sister's funeral, to be exact. Before my sister... died... we had a large party planned for me. I normally do not have a big party, but 14th birthdays are a really big event to werewolves. They are the day that we first meet our wolves. The next monumental birthday is our 20th birthday; that is when can first identify our fated mates. I am our Beta’s youngest daughter, and my father is loved and well-respected. Everyone was excited to meet my wolf and to see what type of wolf she would be. Thus, the guest list for my party was pretty large, and it included ranked wolves from nearby packs. I am normally a little bit of a loner, hence why I usually do not have a big birthday party. However, for this particular occasion, I was happy to have a lot of guests. Meeting your wolf comes with the first shift/ transition, and that can be incredibly painful. As inherently social creatures, the only thing known to help wolves with the pain of the first shift is to have supportive family, friends, and community around you. The way that it typically works is that the pack will host a dinner or barbeque in your honor. As night falls, and the moon replaces the sun in the sky, everyone will gather inside the pack amphitheater. The shifter-to-be will stand in the middle of the amphitheater while guests quietly chant well wishes and prayers to the Moon Goddess. The energy in the space can be electrifying for everyone present, no matter whether there are 25 attendees or 500. Once the first shift is completed, the new wolf will prance around the stage and strut their stuff. The crowd will “ooh” and “aah” until the pack alpha approaches, learns the new wolf’s name, and introduces the wolf to the crowd. The new wolf will also swear his or her allegiance to the pack and to the alpha, allowing the wolf to mind-link with other pack wolves. Finally, the new wolf and any guests old enough to shift will go for a pack run. The whole process is incredibly special and exciting. As you might imagine, décor is also an important part of the party planning process. Each shifter gets to decide the decorations and party theme that will be used for their party. If more than one wolf turns 14 on the same day, the wolves can either agree on a theme or split the party into parts that they can individually decorate. The pack luna will then work some sort of magic that somehow blends the individual areas into one cohesive theme in the center. My birthday is in October, and despite how large our pack is, I am the only one born on that day. I love having an October birthday because my favorite season is fall. For my décor, I had picked flowers and decorations in rich fall colors, including deep oranges, reds, and greens. Unfortunately, none of my party decorations will be used. Or rather, none of my decorations will be used for me. As I mentioned, we are holding a funeral today instead. My oldest sister, Stephanie, died this morning. Pack and religious tradition dictates that we must hold funerals within 24 hours of death. Because Stephanie died shortly after midnight, her funeral must be held today. All food and décor set aside for my birthday party was therefore immediately diverted for the funeral; thankfully my fall themed colors were sufficiently somber-ish to work. All decorations that seemed relatively “happy”, celebratory, or that mention me have been removed. Pictures of Stephanie have now been placed on tables and podiums, and the music I selected has been swapped out for songs about loss or Stephanie’s favorites. The loss of Stephanie is a really hurting. Not only was she my sister and my parents’ oldest and favorite child, she was also widely anticipated to be the mate of Alpha Randall’s son, James, which meant she was most likely the future luna of our pack. Stephanie would have turned 20 in three months, and she and James would have been able to confirm that they were mates then. The pack was so sure that they were mates —and Alpha Randall was so eager to turn the pack over to James and his mate, once she was identified and ready to take on the luna position— that they deviated from standard protocols and decided to begin Stephanie’s Luna training just after she turned 18. If I am being completely honest, something never sat right with me about Stephanie starting Luna training. Part of it is what Stephanie's Luna training meant for me, but that is a separate conversation. The biggest thing was that I did not understand why luna training could not wait until Stephanie turned 20 and could confirm who her mate was. Lunas for generations have waited for their training; why couldn't Stephanie? It also bothered me quite a bit to watch Stephanie hang all over James at pack functions. Our pack frowned upon dating and public displays of affection prior to finding your mate; it created too much risk for problems, anger, and jealousy once your mate was located. For whatever reason, an exception was made for Stephanie. But then again, exceptions always were made for her. Stephanie was strong and absolutely beautiful, and the pack knew her as being kind, smart, and energetic. She could do no wrong in the eyes of my parents, the alpha, or the pack. I hope I do not sound too jealous or bitter. I loved my sister, and her death is hitting me really hard. It’s just that…. I knew a different side of my sister than everyone else, and I know more than anyone that my sister was far from perfect. Had I spoken up before she died, I would have been accused of jealousy and lying. And were I to speak up now, well… I would be accused of jealousy, lying, AND improperly speaking ill of the dead. It is easier to just let it go. Along with my birthday. It isn't that important anyway. I do not want to be selfish or self-centered. The only immediate problem with letting go is that --bad timing or not-- I am going to shift for the first time tonight. There is nothing I can do to stop or postpone it, as much as I would like to do so. I am worried about how it is going to go. Hopefully, during the reception, my mother or father or brother or someone will be willing to step aside with me for a 20-30 minutes just to get me through it. We could then return and act like everything is normal. Or as normal as it can be with Stephanie now gone. Sadly, I should have known that nothing in life is that easy. Chapter 2: The Little Brat (James POV) I watch sadly as the casket is carried from the temple to the burial grounds. It is a cold October day, and the gray sky and drizzly weather adds to the overall somber atmosphere. I cannot help but be impressed at how quickly the pack was able to pull everything together for Stephanie's funeral. All funerals happen quickly in our world, but because of how fast the funerals must take place, the décor and guest list is usually somewhat lacking. It is a testament to how much Stephanie was loved that they were able to put together so many beautiful floral arrangements in her honor, and that so many people were able to be here to honor her life, including many wolves from other packs. If it wasn't for it being such a horrible occasion, I would actually describe the color scheme as beautiful. Then again, fall has always been one of my favorite seasons. I am vaguely aware that we had some other function on the calendar today, but I honestly cannot think of what it was. With a large pack —the West Mountain Pack has over 10,000 members— we have a lot of functions. As the future alpha, I am expected to attend as many of them as I possibly can, but no one expects me to remember what they all are… even if I try to pretend in the moment. Unless reminded by an Omega or my amazing girlfriend, I can't even seem to remember my own mother and father's birthdays most of the time. My amazing girlfriend. I sigh, wiping a tear from my eye. She will never again be around to remind me about birthdays. Sadly, there will be no pretending that I know what today's ceremony is about. Stephanie Brogan was the love of my life, and she was my future mate and luna. I still cannot believe that she is gone. We never even got to fully experience the mate bond, including the sparks betwwen us. Had she lived just three months longer, our wolves would have confirmed one another as mates and Stephanie would have been able to formally claim her proper place in my bed and in my life. Instead of welcoming her body into my bed, I am saying good-bye to her today. I am also saying good-bye to all of our future plans and dreams together. I cannot help but feel anger and resentment about that. This is not how things were supposed to be. As I watch the funeral procession go by --my father, mother, and I, along with the beta family, must stand at the entrance as guests move from the temple to the burial grounds-- I catch a glimpse of Stephanie’s younger sister, Lily. She is standing next to her mother. She looks both sad and innocent, which causes the anger in my body to rise even more. That little brat is the reason that Stephanie is dead. *FLASHBACK TO LAST NIGHT* Stephanie and I are cuddled on the couch in the packhouse living room watching a movie. I have my hand on her arm and I am about to kiss her when she gets distracted by a text message. Stephanie did not let me see the message, which annoys me, but she quickly explains that Lily is lost in the forest after having snuck out to meet a boy. Stephanie’s sister is 13 or 14 years old. She has all the teenage acne and attitude that comes along with being that young. Unlike Stephanie —who has beautiful blond hair and hazel eyes— Lily has reddish brown hair and bright green eyes. Or at least I think they are bright green; she usually has them covered up with large black glasses. Stephanie gets up and tells me that Lily has texted her, begging her to come and find her. I am annoyed by the interruption, but I offer to go with Stephanie to get the little brat. Stephanie says Lily will be upset if anyone else knows about her little escapade. Stephanie reassures me that she will be fine, and then gives me a quick peck. My wolf and I have a bad feeling when Stephanie leaves, but Stephanie has us wrapped around her little finger. It is almost impossible for my wolf and I to disagree with her about anything. We pause the movie and decide to get some work done in my dad's office while we wait for Stephanie to get back. I am a night owl anyway, so I do not mind waiting. Unfortunately, about an hour after Stephanie leaves, I get an urgent mind-link from our pack warriors. They report that the Little Brat had been spotted running out of the woods screaming for help. Before they can say much more, I shift into my wolf form and take off running. I follow Stephanie’s scent far into the woods…. until I come to a small clearing, which is covered in Stephanie’s blood. Her bloody clothes are tossed around, and chunks of her hair are thrown about as well. It is the worst, most savage site that I have ever seen. The smell of rogues is all over, so it is fairly obvious what has happened. The a---holes didn’t even bother to leave her body. *END OF FLASHBACK* Tears threaten to continue to fall as I think back to the scene last night. I have not slept or eaten since I found what was left of Stephanie, and I am having trouble holding my emotions together. Now that my eyes have spotted Lily, my anger with her becomes a welcome distraction. I have a very hard time looking away from her. The truth is that I have always found myself strangely curious about her, but today… today all I want to do is take my anger out on someone, and she seems as good a target as anyone else. Her teenage behavior cost me my mate! And it cost this pack its future luna! My wolf, Luke, begs me to calm down. It is an interesting thing, having the wolf side try to calm the human side. As upset and angry and emotional as I am, it is tempting to ignore him and immediately start teach that Little Brat a lesson. However, I decide to follow Luke's advice after he reminds me that Stephanie deserves to have her funeral be all about her and not some whiny teenage brat. That does not mean that I am going to let Lily get away with what she has done, but I wait until a more appropriate time to take my revenge. I turn my focus back to Stephanie’s casket, which we filled with her bloody clothes, hair, and anything that could be found at the site that had her blood on it. The casket has been brought to the center of the amphitheater. The alpha and beta families take their seats in the front row, and my father and the pack priest move beside the casket to begin the ceremony. The ceremony involves a lot of prayers, rituals, and speakers. The average ceremony takes 2-3 hours, and Stephanie's will most likely take closer to 4-5 hours given her status in the pack and how beloved she was. During the ceremony, I keep trying to distract myself by looking around as others around me. I do not want to be seen as weak by curling into the fetal position and wailing like a baby, even though that is the only thing I want to do right now. My heart breaks as I glance at Stephanie’s parents next to me in the front row, holding on to one another as they cry. Seeing Stephanie’s father —a strong, powerful Beta wolf— break down is a sight I have very rarely seen. The pain in his eyes is heart-wrenching. I also notice Stephanie's brother, Nick, as he clings to his mate, Jenny. Both of them are crying as well. Nick is my best friend, and I have known him since we were tiny pups, but I have literally never seen him cry. I notice that there are no dry eyes anywhere. Even my father has a few stray tears running down his cheeks, although I am sure he would punch anyone who pointed it out. He is a proud man, just like me. As the sky continues to darken, I notice the Little Brat starting to act like she is uncomfortable in her seat. I can tell that Stephanie's mother is getting agitated, and rightly so. For once, can the Little Brat not think about something other than herself? Seriously. It is one ceremony. Just one. For an older sister who died trying to help her. How dare the Little Brat not hold herself together? The next thing I know, the moon is high in the sky and the final rites are being spoken by the priest. As exactly that moment, the Little Brat whispers something in her mother’s ear. Her mother turns and glares at her, causing the Little Brat to put her head down. I then watch as the Little Brat stands up and walks away. She looks like she is in pain, and I hope that she is. How dare she walk away from her sister’s funeral! Especially in the middle of the last rites! I am tempted to follow her and give her a piece of my mind, but Stephanie means more to me than that. I remind myself once again that I will get my revenge on Lily aka the Little Brat soon enough. For tonight, I must remain focused on the love of my life. Chapter 3: Lily Meets Rose “Y-yes.” “Good. Now open your eyes.” I opened my eyes and immediately noticed that I was not human anymore. My feet and hands were paws. I then looked into the water that pooled at the edge of the waterfall, and I saw my reflection… or rather the reflection of Rose. My heart stopped. There are many different types of wolves —alpha wolves; beta wolves; gamma wolves; warrior wolves; silver wolves; white wolves; red wolves; omega wolves. And even within those categories, there are varying sizes and colors and markings. We learn about the types of wolves in school. “Expect the unexpected” was a phrase that was often said about the first transition, but in reality your wolf generally follows your lineage: the children of alpha wolves will generally be alpha wolves; the children of beta wolves will generally be beta wolves; and so on. Typically, the big excitement —especially with children of ranked wolves— centers on the size, color, and personality of the new wolf. Looking back at me in the reflection of the pool was a type of wolf I had never seen or learned about in school. Rose’s fur was a beautiful bluish-silver color that almost glowed. On the right side of her rump was a large black crescent moon symbol, and the black coloring of that symbol matched her solid black paws and black tail. In addition, I noticed that Rose was huge. Although it was tough to tell, it appeared to me that Rose was at least as large as some alpha wolves. “What type of wolf are we, Rose?” “A special type. You will learn more as time goes on, but know that the Moon Goddess has blessed you and I, Lily.” I did not say anything; I was not sure what to say. Rose and I sat by the waterfall for a while longer, until I remembered Stephanie’s funeral. “We need to get back!” I told Rose in a panic. Rose guided me through how to transform back to our human form, and I frantically searched the nearby trees for clothes. I found a men’s t-shirt and shorts. Both were far too big for my small frame, so I opted to just put the t-shirt on. I also grabbed my eye-glasses off the ground and put them on; thankfully they did not break during the transition. Now that I had Rose, I would not need the glasses anymore because she would heal my eyes. However, Rose warned me that —for now— it was best that I continue to wear the glasses and let the pack believe that I did not yet have my wolf. I thought it was a curious thing for her to say, but I had no reason to not trust her. I hurried back to the packhouse and got into the beta suite, hoping to quickly change clothes and re-join the mourning crowd. Unfortunately, once I got in the suite, I was met with the angry, accusing eyes of my mother. “WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? HOW DARE YOU MAKE A SCENE AT YOUR SISTER’S FUNERAL! HAVE YOU NO SHAME? ARE YOU SO SELFISH AND SELF-CENTERED THAT YOU CAN THINK OF NO ONE BUT YOURSELF?” I said nothing. What could I say? My mother then did something that, in my 14 years, she had never done before. She slapped me. Hard. And the beating continued from there. Chapter 4: Living in the Shadows (6 years later) (Lily POV) Six years have now passed since that fateful day that Stephanie died. I wish that I could say that life has moved on, and that we have found good in the bad... but for the most part, it isn't true. Stephanie is just as much a part of this pack today as she was before she died. And the grief felt in the pack is just as raw and angry as it was that first day. If anything has changed, it is that --instead of Stephanie being out in the center of things-- she lives on almost like a shadow over everything. She now has a couple of streets named after her --Stephanie Lane and Steffie Avenue (her nickname was "Steffie"); and you can quite literally find some of her favorite outfits on display in glass cases at various places throughout the pack. Even more bizarre, the day she died was turned into a pack holiday, as was her birthday. Everyone but pack omegas have both days off from work, school, and training, and there are somber celebrations and remembrances planned to commemorate each occasion. I once made the mistake of asking my parents whether this was a normal reaction to the death of a single she-wolf. We can love and miss her, but to continue to hold large ceremonies every year? And to treat her as a saint and forget that she had a human side too? That seemed a bit too much to me. As far as I know, the pack has never done this for any other luna or future luna, and it only honors 2-3 historical alphas in such a manner. I was rewarded for my questions by being called jealous and hateful. (I also received a significant beating, but beatings had become commonplace from my mother, so I cannot say that my question necessarily triggered the beating I received that day. Plus, the beating hurt far less than what I received before Stephanie died. But for the slight pain and who did the beating, I almost would not have minded.) Overall, I think the worst part of losing Stephanie six years ago wasn't losing Stephanie... it was how losing Stephanie impacted my relationship with my parents and other pack members. Before Stephanie died, I was well aware that Stephanie was my parents' favorite. My older brother Nick and I would even joke about it from time to time. But even though Stephanie was their favorite, they still treated me really well and loved me. They never would have raised a hand to me before Stephanie died. After Stephanie died, however, my parents could barely look at me. And when they did, I saw the unmistakable wish in their eyes that it had been me, not Stephanie, that died that fateful night. In addition, my parents stopped caring about my well-being generally. I lived in their house until I was 17, but I was responsible for my own meals and necessities. I was forced to take on a part-time job at a nearby diner just to ensure I had clothes and food to eat. (I technically could have eaten the food that was available in the packhouse, but the dirty looks and mean comments made by my parents, James, and other pack members were enough to make that an unrealistic option.) Also, in case you are wondering, I have not celebrated a birthday since Stephanie died. Not one single soul other than Rose has bothered to tell me happy birthday. No one even bothered to ask me whether I had received my wolf. That wasn't because birthdays stopped being important; it was just mine whose meaning changed. I attended plenty of birthday parties, and the pack hosted plenty of 14th birthday celebrations. In fact, I think it was because of one of those birthday celebrations that someone finally questioned whether I had received a wolf. It was a legitimate question, given that I was over 14 and never joined a pack run. Rose encouraged me early on to skip them "for safety reasons," and I was all too happy to do so. Had anyone bothered to ask me directly about my wolf or about why I was skipping the pack runs, I would have been honest... but no one ever did. Instead, a rumor spread that I was wolfless. Pack members speculated that I lost my wolf as a result of post-traumatic stress from losing Stephanie and/or guilt for what I had done to Stephanie. That latter theory was the one that really got under my skin, because I knew that was a theory and rumor spread by James. Shortly after Stephanie's funeral, he told my parents and most of the pack that Stephanie was only in the forest that night to save me. He also said I had gone out to meet a boy. I have no idea why he would say such things; I have never had a boyfriend and Stephanie was the one who asked me to meet her in the forest. This rumor was the main reason that I received a beating from my mother the night of my first shift. And it probably adds to the reason that pack members wish me dead. Notably, though, I have never dared to defend myself. To tell the truth would be the equivalent of talking negatively of both Stephanie and our future alpha.... and would likely lead to a death sentence. So instead, I have always just pushed through. One of the ways that I have survived is to hold on to the faith that one day things will be different. Another thing that I have done is take every last opportunity to leave the pack. For example, I hurried through high school so that I could graduate early, and I then went away to college. To avoid coming home, I have been loading up on credit hours and taking every term of school -including the mini winter sessions-- that I can get. I am also taking advantage of a unique expedited program offered just for werewolves doctors. Given all of these things, I actually expect that I can become a fully licensed werewolf doctor in just a couple more years. Until I become fully licensed and independent, I will have to continue to bear the shadow of my sister and the pain that comes with it. I am required to be present for both of her holidays --all pack members are; there are no exceptions-- but thankfully those are among the very few times that I can reliably be found at the Western Mountain pack these days. My ultimate goal is to meet my mate and become a pack doctor in his pack... which I pray to the Moon Goddess is not the Western Mountain pack. If, Goddess forbid, my mate is in this pack, perhaps I can convince him to transfer packs with me. Goddess willing. Tomorrow is my birthday. I guess we will find out then. Chapter 5: Without His Luna (James POV) Tomorrow will mark six years since Stephanie died. Everything and nothing has changed. I still think of Stephanie every single day. Her beautiful smile. Her laugh. The kindness that she showed to pack members. The ethusiam that she showed for her luna training. Stephanie would have been an amazing and strong luna. Had Stephanie lived, we would have been happily married by now. We would probably have already had at least two adorable pups, who would have been doted on by two loving sets of grandparents. Together, Stephanie and I would have been leading the West Mountain Pack to new heights. Of course, Stephanie is no longer here. And without Stephanie… Well, without Stephanie, I am only a fraction of the man that I used to be, and only a fraction of the wolf. Without Stephanie, I am not even Alpha yet. In our world, most alpha heirs take over from their fathers between 25 and 30 years old. That timing ensures that most alphas will have already found their mates before they take over the running of a pack. Running a pack is not easy to do by yourself. Even with a strong beta and a strong gamma, a luna’s importance to a pack cannot be underestimated. A luna brings heart and balance to a pack and to the alpha himself. She is the alpha’s equal, and she is one of the few werewolves in the pack who can get away with challenging and questioning an alpha’s decisions. If she exercises her role properly and judiciously, a luna’s presence can lead to better overall outcomes, decisions, and governing. This is especially true if the luna is the alpha’s fated mate, because it means she takes on her role with the blessing of the Moon Goddess. Alpha heirs who take over their packs prior to turning 25 typically do so either out of necessity, or because they have been fortunate to have been mated very early to a strong luna. Six years ago, when Stephanie was still alive, my father thought we were going to be part of the lucky latter category. He had been very eager to take an early retirement. He and my mother had fantasized about all the European trips and Caribbean cruises that they would take after I was sworn in as alpha, and they had already had tentative plans for at least one of those trips. Of course, all of those plans were ultimately scrapped. Today, I am old enough to take over as alpha, even without a luna by my side… but my father is concerned that I am not mentally strong enough to do so yet. He sees me as broken. My father is probably right. It is a little hard not to feel broken. The reminders of Stephanie are everywhere. Even after six long years, I feel like I cannot escape from the reminders or from my grief, and it is suffocating. The packhouse has practically turned into a mini museum to her, and almost all of the local businesses have some sort of small dedication, whether it be a dedicated drink, food item, picture, or shelf of Stephanie-inspired items. Worse, twice a year, we hold a series of ceremonies and remembrances for Stephanie. As Stephanie’s mate and as the future alpha heir, I am expected to attend every one of them. I want to be there. I know that I should be there. But… It is complete and utter torture. Every day without Stephanie is difficult, but Stephanie’s birthdays and death anniversaries always hit me the hardest. What I want to do more than anything on those two days is be by myself so that I can process my grief. There is a waterfall that I like to go to. If I could, I would spend all day there on both days. The waterfall isn’t exactly hidden, but to find it, you have to go pretty far within the woods and know where to go. As far as I know, I am the only one in our pack who ever goes there. Being at the waterfall brings me comfort; it always has. That is where I want to be when I am grieving or upset. Unfortunately, instead of spending time in the comfort of my waterfall, I have to spend the two hardest days each year out in public with almost 20,000 eyes watching my every move and every reaction. Instead of just… grieving… I have to be conscientious of how every display of emotion can impact and be perceived by the pack members. As I listen to pack members, Stephanie’s parents, and my own parents take turns telling stories about Stephanie and her good deeds, I am expected to somehow strike an impossible balance between sadness and strength. At each of the events, year after year, the remembrances are largely the same. At this point, I practically have the speeches memorized. The speeches usually include stories about how Stephanie would bake cookies and send her sister to deliver them to the guards working the late-night shift on the borders. And stories about how any time anyone was injured in training or at battle, she would not only have her sister deliver care baskets to patients at the hospital, but she would also put one together for any family members separated from them while they were recovering. My parents talk about how eager Stephanie was to take on her position as luna, and how dedicated she was to her training, even working on lessons for hours at home multiple times per week. Stephanie’s parents talk about their prior dreams for their daughter and the hole they continue to feel in their hearts. Nick talks about how family celebrations do not feel the same without Stephanie there, and Jenny talks about wishing that she still had a sister-in-law to bond with and engage in girl talk. The only blessing is that —as the grieving mate— no one expects me to say anything at these events. But that does not spare me from the staring and judgment. If I show too much sadness, pack members worry that I am weak and will not able to be the leader of the pack in the future. If I seem too stoic or show too much “strength,” pack members could perceive me being disrespectful towards Stephanie’s memory. They will also worry that my reign as alpha will lack balance and compassion…. which I already hear whispers about from time to time. Sometimes, I feel angry about the whole thing. I would never, ever expect anyone who has lost their mate to put themselves on a stage multiple times a year and be judged on whether their external grief is appropriate enough. And yet my parents have no problem doing it to me. I tried to push back once, but only once. As you can imagine, it did not go well. I started the conversation by telling my parents that I did not think it was healthy for me to be surrounded by constant reminders of Stephanie, and I told them that I thought the constant remembrances were counterproductive to my mental health. I suggested that we scale back the events, or make them more private affairs. My father got angry and accused me of being selfish. He told me that being uncomfortable and coping with the pressure of judgmental pack members is part of being an alpha. Meanwhile, my mother reminded me that the ceremonies had been Stephanie’s parents’ idea, and she asked me if I wanted to be the one to tell them it was no longer important to celebrate Stephanie’s life. No, of course I did not want to tell Stephanie's parents that. No, I did not want to be selfish. I just wanted --and still want-- to not feel so sad all the time. Six years in, and the only reprieve I ever get from my grief is when the Little Brat is around. She has made herself scarce the last few years, but when she is around, my wolf and I can sense her from a mile away. My wolf and I fight about her all the time --for some reason, Luke seems to have a soft spot for the Little Brat-- but we can agree that it is nice having her around. For me, it's because I have a worthy target for my anger and rage. Chapter 8: Daddy's Girl (Lily POV) The drive to the pack house was eerily silent. After my father and I arrived at the pack house, my father quickly exited the vehicle and headed to his office, leaving me on my own. I timidly and cautiously got into the beta suite, but I was relieved to find that my mother was already in bed. I decided to go directly to my room and try to sleep as well. Unfortunately, I ended up tossing and turning all night. The look on my father's face when talking to the guards continued to haunt me. When I did sleep, I had nightmares. Strangely, Rose seemed restless too, but other than briefly wishing me a happy birthday after it hit midnight, she did not say anything. I think the main thing that provoked my nightmares and kept me up was that my heart ached for my father. I knew that I wanted to help him with his pain and ease his suffering, but I was not sure what I could do or say to make things better. It has already been six years. If time has not helped heal his heart, what could I do? The truth is, I am not Stephanie and I never will be. The only thing I have ever known how to do for my father is to try to stay out of his way. At least for my mother, I can serve as a literal punching bag to help her relieve her grief. And for others in the pack, I can serve as both a literal and metaphorical punching bag. But, I am nothing to my father: my father has neglected me and ignored the sufferings I went through, but he has never directly participated in any of them. Perhaps that is one reason his pain upsets me more than the pain of everyone else. He is the least awful amongst my current tormentors, and I can sometimes lie to myself that he does not know or agree with how much I have suffered. I know that it probably seems strange that my heart aches for him at all, given that he is someone who, for the most part, could care less about me. However, please understand that for my own sanity, I have chosen to remember and hold on to the good times in my childhood. Of course, there is also the fact that... regardless of how my father currently feels about me... I have always been --and will probably always be-- a daddy's girl. It is just part of who I am. Since I was in diapers, I have looked up to my father and considered him to be my superhero. Before Stephanie died, I never saw an ounce of weakness in him. He was my strength and my rock. I always had an strong desire to make him proud of me. He was always the first one I ran to when I got a good grade on a test, or when I drew a picture I thought he might like. And ...before Stephanie died... he was always the first one to dry my tears when I got hurt or to give me reassuring praise when I felt down. Even though I knew Stephanie was his favorite... even though I knew Stephanie's accomplishments would always be greater, and that he would always be more proud of her... those little things mattered to me. I lived for those moments. Sigh. By 5:30 am, I gave up on any hope of further sleep. Stephanie's first remembrance event was not scheduled until 11 am, so I knew I had a little bit of time. Eager to take advantage of that time and also avoid my mother, I took a quick shower, packed a small backpack, and headed out of the house. Predictably, my feet led me to the waterfall that I had shifted in front of six years ago. I have come here at least twice a year since Stephanie died, usually on her birthday and death anniversary. The waterfall brings me an odd sense of peace. As beautiful as it is, I do not know anyone else who comes here. Perhaps that is why I like it so much. I sighed. "It is easy to tell myself that when I am away from the pack and not having to cope with the consequences. It is a lot harder to believe that I am blameless when everyone around me is crying and upset all the time. You saw my dad last night. That nearly broke me. He is still hurting so much." "That does not make any of it your fault," Rose protests. "Rose, the day before Stephanie died, I prayed that the Moon Goddess stop Stephanie from continuing to hurt me." "She was not hurting you, Lily. She was torturing you. There is nothing wrong with you praying that it stop." "There is if it cost Stephanie her life." "Lily, you are not giving the Moon Goddess enough credit. You are smarter and stronger than this. You need to stop with the emotional vomit and ---" Suddenly Rose stops talking through the link. She is pacing back in forth in my head. I have no idea what is going on, until the overwhelming scent of vanilla and coffee beans hits my nose. "Mate! Lily, our mate is here! Mate, mate, mate, mate, mate!!!" I stand, dust the ashes off of my jeans, and turn around. My heart drops when I recognize the werewolf standing about 200 feet away from me. This has to be a joke. This cannot be happening.	LEARN_MORE	https://getokn.com/market/goodnovel/1?lpid=10745&u	Massive story	https://www.facebook.com/61560932294131/	0	1969-12-31 18:00	Learn More	getokn.com	DCO		https://getokn.com/market/goodnovel/1?lpid=10745&utm_campaign={{campaign.name}}&utm_content={{campaign.id}}&adset_name={{adset.name}}&adset_id={{adset.id}}&ad_id={{ad.id}}&ad_name={{ad.name}}	1969-12-31 18:00	https://scontent-iad3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.35426-6/448731292_973317731140374_4061053005564536888_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s60x60&_nc_cat=109&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=c53f8f&_nc_ohc=lrse1jkTtxMQ7kNvgHjZ9HA&_nc_zt=14&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-2.xx&_nc_gid=A74VHk0643v_IqiPL0twVwK&oh=00_AYCpqhBoWJxYaWgae6uVoPI6c8TWwKgVD-Rp734dQtFfhg&oe=6730C50B	PERSON_PROFILE	0	Massive story	1969-12-31 18:00	View Edit Delete
2,378,791	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) '{"alias":2378915}'	No	2024-11-06 00:42	active	1739	4 Interest-free Payments	🎁 Black Friday is coming,The gift that wrapped up in love 🎁 ✅40% off buy 1⃣ get 1⃣ & Any order 10% off Sitewide Learn more:http://italojewelry.io/Cwo 🎁Free shipping & Easy return🎁	SHOP_NOW	https://www.italojewelry.com/?utm_source=facebook.	Italo Jeweler	https://www.facebook.com/italojeweler/	19,989	1969-12-31 18:00	Shop now	www.italojewelry.com	VIDEO	✅60-day Return & One Year Warranty	https://www.italojewelry.com/?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=fb-1130-02&utm_campaign=1211-17	1969-12-31 18:00	https://scontent-iad3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.35426-6/463604538_1283618866386703_4138821774012723412_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s60x60&_nc_cat=111&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=c53f8f&_nc_ohc=hfIxsTkTOdUQ7kNvgEk2mxi&_nc_zt=14&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-2.xx&_nc_gid=A20qRz00BcpuZqgAGwYJ80E&oh=00_AYCeHwhfsw2t6Rd8aGgwQHAh8fcdXntuPSrB8ETYaLAhig&oe=6730F480	PERSON_PROFILE	0	Italo Jeweler	1969-12-31 18:00	View Edit Delete
2,378,792	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) '{"alias":2378710}'	No	2024-11-06 00:42	active	1739	🔞🔥 Continuer la lecture ➤➤	(Lily POV) Today is my 14th birthday. There will not be birthday cake, singing, or a party. Instead, we are attending a funeral. My sister's funeral, to be exact. Before my sister... died... we had a large party planned for me. I normally do not have a big party, but 14th birthdays are a really big event to werewolves. They are the day that we first meet our wolves. The next monumental birthday is our 20th birthday; that is when can first identify our fated mates. I am our Beta’s youngest daughter, and my father is loved and well-respected. Everyone was excited to meet my wolf and to see what type of wolf she would be. Thus, the guest list for my party was pretty large, and it included ranked wolves from nearby packs. I am normally a little bit of a loner, hence why I usually do not have a big birthday party. However, for this particular occasion, I was happy to have a lot of guests. Meeting your wolf comes with the first shift/ transition, and that can be incredibly painful. As inherently social creatures, the only thing known to help wolves with the pain of the first shift is to have supportive family, friends, and community around you. The way that it typically works is that the pack will host a dinner or barbeque in your honor. As night falls, and the moon replaces the sun in the sky, everyone will gather inside the pack amphitheater. The shifter-to-be will stand in the middle of the amphitheater while guests quietly chant well wishes and prayers to the Moon Goddess. The energy in the space can be electrifying for everyone present, no matter whether there are 25 attendees or 500. Once the first shift is completed, the new wolf will prance around the stage and strut their stuff. The crowd will “ooh” and “aah” until the pack alpha approaches, learns the new wolf’s name, and introduces the wolf to the crowd. The new wolf will also swear his or her allegiance to the pack and to the alpha, allowing the wolf to mind-link with other pack wolves. Finally, the new wolf and any guests old enough to shift will go for a pack run. The whole process is incredibly special and exciting. As you might imagine, décor is also an important part of the party planning process. Each shifter gets to decide the decorations and party theme that will be used for their party. If more than one wolf turns 14 on the same day, the wolves can either agree on a theme or split the party into parts that they can individually decorate. The pack luna will then work some sort of magic that somehow blends the individual areas into one cohesive theme in the center. My birthday is in October, and despite how large our pack is, I am the only one born on that day. I love having an October birthday because my favorite season is fall. For my décor, I had picked flowers and decorations in rich fall colors, including deep oranges, reds, and greens. Unfortunately, none of my party decorations will be used. Or rather, none of my decorations will be used for me. As I mentioned, we are holding a funeral today instead. My oldest sister, Stephanie, died this morning. Pack and religious tradition dictates that we must hold funerals within 24 hours of death. Because Stephanie died shortly after midnight, her funeral must be held today. All food and décor set aside for my birthday party was therefore immediately diverted for the funeral; thankfully my fall themed colors were sufficiently somber-ish to work. All decorations that seemed relatively “happy”, celebratory, or that mention me have been removed. Pictures of Stephanie have now been placed on tables and podiums, and the music I selected has been swapped out for songs about loss or Stephanie’s favorites. The loss of Stephanie is a really hurting. Not only was she my sister and my parents’ oldest and favorite child, she was also widely anticipated to be the mate of Alpha Randall’s son, James, which meant she was most likely the future luna of our pack. Stephanie would have turned 20 in three months, and she and James would have been able to confirm that they were mates then. The pack was so sure that they were mates —and Alpha Randall was so eager to turn the pack over to James and his mate, once she was identified and ready to take on the luna position— that they deviated from standard protocols and decided to begin Stephanie’s Luna training just after she turned 18. If I am being completely honest, something never sat right with me about Stephanie starting Luna training. Part of it is what Stephanie's Luna training meant for me, but that is a separate conversation. The biggest thing was that I did not understand why luna training could not wait until Stephanie turned 20 and could confirm who her mate was. Lunas for generations have waited for their training; why couldn't Stephanie? It also bothered me quite a bit to watch Stephanie hang all over James at pack functions. Our pack frowned upon dating and public displays of affection prior to finding your mate; it created too much risk for problems, anger, and jealousy once your mate was located. For whatever reason, an exception was made for Stephanie. But then again, exceptions always were made for her. Stephanie was strong and absolutely beautiful, and the pack knew her as being kind, smart, and energetic. She could do no wrong in the eyes of my parents, the alpha, or the pack. I hope I do not sound too jealous or bitter. I loved my sister, and her death is hitting me really hard. It’s just that…. I knew a different side of my sister than everyone else, and I know more than anyone that my sister was far from perfect. Had I spoken up before she died, I would have been accused of jealousy and lying. And were I to speak up now, well… I would be accused of jealousy, lying, AND improperly speaking ill of the dead. It is easier to just let it go. Along with my birthday. It isn't that important anyway. I do not want to be selfish or self-centered. The only immediate problem with letting go is that --bad timing or not-- I am going to shift for the first time tonight. There is nothing I can do to stop or postpone it, as much as I would like to do so. I am worried about how it is going to go. Hopefully, during the reception, my mother or father or brother or someone will be willing to step aside with me for a 20-30 minutes just to get me through it. We could then return and act like everything is normal. Or as normal as it can be with Stephanie now gone. Sadly, I should have known that nothing in life is that easy. Chapter 2: The Little Brat (James POV) I watch sadly as the casket is carried from the temple to the burial grounds. It is a cold October day, and the gray sky and drizzly weather adds to the overall somber atmosphere. I cannot help but be impressed at how quickly the pack was able to pull everything together for Stephanie's funeral. All funerals happen quickly in our world, but because of how fast the funerals must take place, the décor and guest list is usually somewhat lacking. It is a testament to how much Stephanie was loved that they were able to put together so many beautiful floral arrangements in her honor, and that so many people were able to be here to honor her life, including many wolves from other packs. If it wasn't for it being such a horrible occasion, I would actually describe the color scheme as beautiful. Then again, fall has always been one of my favorite seasons. I am vaguely aware that we had some other function on the calendar today, but I honestly cannot think of what it was. With a large pack —the West Mountain Pack has over 10,000 members— we have a lot of functions. As the future alpha, I am expected to attend as many of them as I possibly can, but no one expects me to remember what they all are… even if I try to pretend in the moment. Unless reminded by an Omega or my amazing girlfriend, I can't even seem to remember my own mother and father's birthdays most of the time. My amazing girlfriend. I sigh, wiping a tear from my eye. She will never again be around to remind me about birthdays. Sadly, there will be no pretending that I know what today's ceremony is about. Stephanie Brogan was the love of my life, and she was my future mate and luna. I still cannot believe that she is gone. We never even got to fully experience the mate bond, including the sparks betwwen us. Had she lived just three months longer, our wolves would have confirmed one another as mates and Stephanie would have been able to formally claim her proper place in my bed and in my life. Instead of welcoming her body into my bed, I am saying good-bye to her today. I am also saying good-bye to all of our future plans and dreams together. I cannot help but feel anger and resentment about that. This is not how things were supposed to be. As I watch the funeral procession go by --my father, mother, and I, along with the beta family, must stand at the entrance as guests move from the temple to the burial grounds-- I catch a glimpse of Stephanie’s younger sister, Lily. She is standing next to her mother. She looks both sad and innocent, which causes the anger in my body to rise even more. That little brat is the reason that Stephanie is dead. *FLASHBACK TO LAST NIGHT* Stephanie and I are cuddled on the couch in the packhouse living room watching a movie. I have my hand on her arm and I am about to kiss her when she gets distracted by a text message. Stephanie did not let me see the message, which annoys me, but she quickly explains that Lily is lost in the forest after having snuck out to meet a boy. Stephanie’s sister is 13 or 14 years old. She has all the teenage acne and attitude that comes along with being that young. Unlike Stephanie —who has beautiful blond hair and hazel eyes— Lily has reddish brown hair and bright green eyes. Or at least I think they are bright green; she usually has them covered up with large black glasses. Stephanie gets up and tells me that Lily has texted her, begging her to come and find her. I am annoyed by the interruption, but I offer to go with Stephanie to get the little brat. Stephanie says Lily will be upset if anyone else knows about her little escapade. Stephanie reassures me that she will be fine, and then gives me a quick peck. My wolf and I have a bad feeling when Stephanie leaves, but Stephanie has us wrapped around her little finger. It is almost impossible for my wolf and I to disagree with her about anything. We pause the movie and decide to get some work done in my dad's office while we wait for Stephanie to get back. I am a night owl anyway, so I do not mind waiting. Unfortunately, about an hour after Stephanie leaves, I get an urgent mind-link from our pack warriors. They report that the Little Brat had been spotted running out of the woods screaming for help. Before they can say much more, I shift into my wolf form and take off running. I follow Stephanie’s scent far into the woods…. until I come to a small clearing, which is covered in Stephanie’s blood. Her bloody clothes are tossed around, and chunks of her hair are thrown about as well. It is the worst, most savage site that I have ever seen. The smell of rogues is all over, so it is fairly obvious what has happened. The a---holes didn’t even bother to leave her body. *END OF FLASHBACK* Tears threaten to continue to fall as I think back to the scene last night. I have not slept or eaten since I found what was left of Stephanie, and I am having trouble holding my emotions together. Now that my eyes have spotted Lily, my anger with her becomes a welcome distraction. I have a very hard time looking away from her. The truth is that I have always found myself strangely curious about her, but today… today all I want to do is take my anger out on someone, and she seems as good a target as anyone else. Her teenage behavior cost me my mate! And it cost this pack its future luna! My wolf, Luke, begs me to calm down. It is an interesting thing, having the wolf side try to calm the human side. As upset and angry and emotional as I am, it is tempting to ignore him and immediately start teach that Little Brat a lesson. However, I decide to follow Luke's advice after he reminds me that Stephanie deserves to have her funeral be all about her and not some whiny teenage brat. That does not mean that I am going to let Lily get away with what she has done, but I wait until a more appropriate time to take my revenge. I turn my focus back to Stephanie’s casket, which we filled with her bloody clothes, hair, and anything that could be found at the site that had her blood on it. The casket has been brought to the center of the amphitheater. The alpha and beta families take their seats in the front row, and my father and the pack priest move beside the casket to begin the ceremony. The ceremony involves a lot of prayers, rituals, and speakers. The average ceremony takes 2-3 hours, and Stephanie's will most likely take closer to 4-5 hours given her status in the pack and how beloved she was. During the ceremony, I keep trying to distract myself by looking around as others around me. I do not want to be seen as weak by curling into the fetal position and wailing like a baby, even though that is the only thing I want to do right now. My heart breaks as I glance at Stephanie’s parents next to me in the front row, holding on to one another as they cry. Seeing Stephanie’s father —a strong, powerful Beta wolf— break down is a sight I have very rarely seen. The pain in his eyes is heart-wrenching. I also notice Stephanie's brother, Nick, as he clings to his mate, Jenny. Both of them are crying as well. Nick is my best friend, and I have known him since we were tiny pups, but I have literally never seen him cry. I notice that there are no dry eyes anywhere. Even my father has a few stray tears running down his cheeks, although I am sure he would punch anyone who pointed it out. He is a proud man, just like me. As the sky continues to darken, I notice the Little Brat starting to act like she is uncomfortable in her seat. I can tell that Stephanie's mother is getting agitated, and rightly so. For once, can the Little Brat not think about something other than herself? Seriously. It is one ceremony. Just one. For an older sister who died trying to help her. How dare the Little Brat not hold herself together? The next thing I know, the moon is high in the sky and the final rites are being spoken by the priest. As exactly that moment, the Little Brat whispers something in her mother’s ear. Her mother turns and glares at her, causing the Little Brat to put her head down. I then watch as the Little Brat stands up and walks away. She looks like she is in pain, and I hope that she is. How dare she walk away from her sister’s funeral! Especially in the middle of the last rites! I am tempted to follow her and give her a piece of my mind, but Stephanie means more to me than that. I remind myself once again that I will get my revenge on Lily aka the Little Brat soon enough. For tonight, I must remain focused on the love of my life. Chapter 3: Lily Meets Rose “Y-yes.” “Good. Now open your eyes.” I opened my eyes and immediately noticed that I was not human anymore. My feet and hands were paws. I then looked into the water that pooled at the edge of the waterfall, and I saw my reflection… or rather the reflection of Rose. My heart stopped. There are many different types of wolves —alpha wolves; beta wolves; gamma wolves; warrior wolves; silver wolves; white wolves; red wolves; omega wolves. And even within those categories, there are varying sizes and colors and markings. We learn about the types of wolves in school. “Expect the unexpected” was a phrase that was often said about the first transition, but in reality your wolf generally follows your lineage: the children of alpha wolves will generally be alpha wolves; the children of beta wolves will generally be beta wolves; and so on. Typically, the big excitement —especially with children of ranked wolves— centers on the size, color, and personality of the new wolf. Looking back at me in the reflection of the pool was a type of wolf I had never seen or learned about in school. Rose’s fur was a beautiful bluish-silver color that almost glowed. On the right side of her rump was a large black crescent moon symbol, and the black coloring of that symbol matched her solid black paws and black tail. In addition, I noticed that Rose was huge. Although it was tough to tell, it appeared to me that Rose was at least as large as some alpha wolves. “What type of wolf are we, Rose?” “A special type. You will learn more as time goes on, but know that the Moon Goddess has blessed you and I, Lily.” I did not say anything; I was not sure what to say. Rose and I sat by the waterfall for a while longer, until I remembered Stephanie’s funeral. “We need to get back!” I told Rose in a panic. Rose guided me through how to transform back to our human form, and I frantically searched the nearby trees for clothes. I found a men’s t-shirt and shorts. Both were far too big for my small frame, so I opted to just put the t-shirt on. I also grabbed my eye-glasses off the ground and put them on; thankfully they did not break during the transition. Now that I had Rose, I would not need the glasses anymore because she would heal my eyes. However, Rose warned me that —for now— it was best that I continue to wear the glasses and let the pack believe that I did not yet have my wolf. I thought it was a curious thing for her to say, but I had no reason to not trust her. I hurried back to the packhouse and got into the beta suite, hoping to quickly change clothes and re-join the mourning crowd. Unfortunately, once I got in the suite, I was met with the angry, accusing eyes of my mother. “WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? HOW DARE YOU MAKE A SCENE AT YOUR SISTER’S FUNERAL! HAVE YOU NO SHAME? ARE YOU SO SELFISH AND SELF-CENTERED THAT YOU CAN THINK OF NO ONE BUT YOURSELF?” I said nothing. What could I say? My mother then did something that, in my 14 years, she had never done before. She slapped me. Hard. And the beating continued from there. Chapter 4: Living in the Shadows (6 years later) (Lily POV) Six years have now passed since that fateful day that Stephanie died. I wish that I could say that life has moved on, and that we have found good in the bad... but for the most part, it isn't true. Stephanie is just as much a part of this pack today as she was before she died. And the grief felt in the pack is just as raw and angry as it was that first day. If anything has changed, it is that --instead of Stephanie being out in the center of things-- she lives on almost like a shadow over everything. She now has a couple of streets named after her --Stephanie Lane and Steffie Avenue (her nickname was "Steffie"); and you can quite literally find some of her favorite outfits on display in glass cases at various places throughout the pack. Even more bizarre, the day she died was turned into a pack holiday, as was her birthday. Everyone but pack omegas have both days off from work, school, and training, and there are somber celebrations and remembrances planned to commemorate each occasion. I once made the mistake of asking my parents whether this was a normal reaction to the death of a single she-wolf. We can love and miss her, but to continue to hold large ceremonies every year? And to treat her as a saint and forget that she had a human side too? That seemed a bit too much to me. As far as I know, the pack has never done this for any other luna or future luna, and it only honors 2-3 historical alphas in such a manner. I was rewarded for my questions by being called jealous and hateful. (I also received a significant beating, but beatings had become commonplace from my mother, so I cannot say that my question necessarily triggered the beating I received that day. Plus, the beating hurt far less than what I received before Stephanie died. But for the slight pain and who did the beating, I almost would not have minded.) Overall, I think the worst part of losing Stephanie six years ago wasn't losing Stephanie... it was how losing Stephanie impacted my relationship with my parents and other pack members. Before Stephanie died, I was well aware that Stephanie was my parents' favorite. My older brother Nick and I would even joke about it from time to time. But even though Stephanie was their favorite, they still treated me really well and loved me. They never would have raised a hand to me before Stephanie died. After Stephanie died, however, my parents could barely look at me. And when they did, I saw the unmistakable wish in their eyes that it had been me, not Stephanie, that died that fateful night. In addition, my parents stopped caring about my well-being generally. I lived in their house until I was 17, but I was responsible for my own meals and necessities. I was forced to take on a part-time job at a nearby diner just to ensure I had clothes and food to eat. (I technically could have eaten the food that was available in the packhouse, but the dirty looks and mean comments made by my parents, James, and other pack members were enough to make that an unrealistic option.) Also, in case you are wondering, I have not celebrated a birthday since Stephanie died. Not one single soul other than Rose has bothered to tell me happy birthday. No one even bothered to ask me whether I had received my wolf. That wasn't because birthdays stopped being important; it was just mine whose meaning changed. I attended plenty of birthday parties, and the pack hosted plenty of 14th birthday celebrations. In fact, I think it was because of one of those birthday celebrations that someone finally questioned whether I had received a wolf. It was a legitimate question, given that I was over 14 and never joined a pack run. Rose encouraged me early on to skip them "for safety reasons," and I was all too happy to do so. Had anyone bothered to ask me directly about my wolf or about why I was skipping the pack runs, I would have been honest... but no one ever did. Instead, a rumor spread that I was wolfless. Pack members speculated that I lost my wolf as a result of post-traumatic stress from losing Stephanie and/or guilt for what I had done to Stephanie. That latter theory was the one that really got under my skin, because I knew that was a theory and rumor spread by James. Shortly after Stephanie's funeral, he told my parents and most of the pack that Stephanie was only in the forest that night to save me. He also said I had gone out to meet a boy. I have no idea why he would say such things; I have never had a boyfriend and Stephanie was the one who asked me to meet her in the forest. This rumor was the main reason that I received a beating from my mother the night of my first shift. And it probably adds to the reason that pack members wish me dead. Notably, though, I have never dared to defend myself. To tell the truth would be the equivalent of talking negatively of both Stephanie and our future alpha.... and would likely lead to a death sentence. So instead, I have always just pushed through. One of the ways that I have survived is to hold on to the faith that one day things will be different. Another thing that I have done is take every last opportunity to leave the pack. For example, I hurried through high school so that I could graduate early, and I then went away to college. To avoid coming home, I have been loading up on credit hours and taking every term of school -including the mini winter sessions-- that I can get. I am also taking advantage of a unique expedited program offered just for werewolves doctors. Given all of these things, I actually expect that I can become a fully licensed werewolf doctor in just a couple more years. Until I become fully licensed and independent, I will have to continue to bear the shadow of my sister and the pain that comes with it. I am required to be present for both of her holidays --all pack members are; there are no exceptions-- but thankfully those are among the very few times that I can reliably be found at the Western Mountain pack these days. My ultimate goal is to meet my mate and become a pack doctor in his pack... which I pray to the Moon Goddess is not the Western Mountain pack. If, Goddess forbid, my mate is in this pack, perhaps I can convince him to transfer packs with me. Goddess willing. Tomorrow is my birthday. I guess we will find out then. Chapter 5: Without His Luna (James POV) Tomorrow will mark six years since Stephanie died. Everything and nothing has changed. I still think of Stephanie every single day. Her beautiful smile. Her laugh. The kindness that she showed to pack members. The ethusiam that she showed for her luna training. Stephanie would have been an amazing and strong luna. Had Stephanie lived, we would have been happily married by now. We would probably have already had at least two adorable pups, who would have been doted on by two loving sets of grandparents. Together, Stephanie and I would have been leading the West Mountain Pack to new heights. Of course, Stephanie is no longer here. And without Stephanie… Well, without Stephanie, I am only a fraction of the man that I used to be, and only a fraction of the wolf. Without Stephanie, I am not even Alpha yet. In our world, most alpha heirs take over from their fathers between 25 and 30 years old. That timing ensures that most alphas will have already found their mates before they take over the running of a pack. Running a pack is not easy to do by yourself. Even with a strong beta and a strong gamma, a luna’s importance to a pack cannot be underestimated. A luna brings heart and balance to a pack and to the alpha himself. She is the alpha’s equal, and she is one of the few werewolves in the pack who can get away with challenging and questioning an alpha’s decisions. If she exercises her role properly and judiciously, a luna’s presence can lead to better overall outcomes, decisions, and governing. This is especially true if the luna is the alpha’s fated mate, because it means she takes on her role with the blessing of the Moon Goddess. Alpha heirs who take over their packs prior to turning 25 typically do so either out of necessity, or because they have been fortunate to have been mated very early to a strong luna. Six years ago, when Stephanie was still alive, my father thought we were going to be part of the lucky latter category. He had been very eager to take an early retirement. He and my mother had fantasized about all the European trips and Caribbean cruises that they would take after I was sworn in as alpha, and they had already had tentative plans for at least one of those trips. Of course, all of those plans were ultimately scrapped. Today, I am old enough to take over as alpha, even without a luna by my side… but my father is concerned that I am not mentally strong enough to do so yet. He sees me as broken. My father is probably right. It is a little hard not to feel broken. The reminders of Stephanie are everywhere. Even after six long years, I feel like I cannot escape from the reminders or from my grief, and it is suffocating. The packhouse has practically turned into a mini museum to her, and almost all of the local businesses have some sort of small dedication, whether it be a dedicated drink, food item, picture, or shelf of Stephanie-inspired items. Worse, twice a year, we hold a series of ceremonies and remembrances for Stephanie. As Stephanie’s mate and as the future alpha heir, I am expected to attend every one of them. I want to be there. I know that I should be there. But… It is complete and utter torture. Every day without Stephanie is difficult, but Stephanie’s birthdays and death anniversaries always hit me the hardest. What I want to do more than anything on those two days is be by myself so that I can process my grief. There is a waterfall that I like to go to. If I could, I would spend all day there on both days. The waterfall isn’t exactly hidden, but to find it, you have to go pretty far within the woods and know where to go. As far as I know, I am the only one in our pack who ever goes there. Being at the waterfall brings me comfort; it always has. That is where I want to be when I am grieving or upset. Unfortunately, instead of spending time in the comfort of my waterfall, I have to spend the two hardest days each year out in public with almost 20,000 eyes watching my every move and every reaction. Instead of just… grieving… I have to be conscientious of how every display of emotion can impact and be perceived by the pack members. As I listen to pack members, Stephanie’s parents, and my own parents take turns telling stories about Stephanie and her good deeds, I am expected to somehow strike an impossible balance between sadness and strength. At each of the events, year after year, the remembrances are largely the same. At this point, I practically have the speeches memorized. The speeches usually include stories about how Stephanie would bake cookies and send her sister to deliver them to the guards working the late-night shift on the borders. And stories about how any time anyone was injured in training or at battle, she would not only have her sister deliver care baskets to patients at the hospital, but she would also put one together for any family members separated from them while they were recovering. My parents talk about how eager Stephanie was to take on her position as luna, and how dedicated she was to her training, even working on lessons for hours at home multiple times per week. Stephanie’s parents talk about their prior dreams for their daughter and the hole they continue to feel in their hearts. Nick talks about how family celebrations do not feel the same without Stephanie there, and Jenny talks about wishing that she still had a sister-in-law to bond with and engage in girl talk. The only blessing is that —as the grieving mate— no one expects me to say anything at these events. But that does not spare me from the staring and judgment. If I show too much sadness, pack members worry that I am weak and will not able to be the leader of the pack in the future. If I seem too stoic or show too much “strength,” pack members could perceive me being disrespectful towards Stephanie’s memory. They will also worry that my reign as alpha will lack balance and compassion…. which I already hear whispers about from time to time. Sometimes, I feel angry about the whole thing. I would never, ever expect anyone who has lost their mate to put themselves on a stage multiple times a year and be judged on whether their external grief is appropriate enough. And yet my parents have no problem doing it to me. I tried to push back once, but only once. As you can imagine, it did not go well. I started the conversation by telling my parents that I did not think it was healthy for me to be surrounded by constant reminders of Stephanie, and I told them that I thought the constant remembrances were counterproductive to my mental health. I suggested that we scale back the events, or make them more private affairs. My father got angry and accused me of being selfish. He told me that being uncomfortable and coping with the pressure of judgmental pack members is part of being an alpha. Meanwhile, my mother reminded me that the ceremonies had been Stephanie’s parents’ idea, and she asked me if I wanted to be the one to tell them it was no longer important to celebrate Stephanie’s life. No, of course I did not want to tell Stephanie's parents that. No, I did not want to be selfish. I just wanted --and still want-- to not feel so sad all the time. Six years in, and the only reprieve I ever get from my grief is when the Little Brat is around. She has made herself scarce the last few years, but when she is around, my wolf and I can sense her from a mile away. My wolf and I fight about her all the time --for some reason, Luke seems to have a soft spot for the Little Brat-- but we can agree that it is nice having her around. For me, it's because I have a worthy target for my anger and rage. Chapter 8: Daddy's Girl (Lily POV) The drive to the pack house was eerily silent. After my father and I arrived at the pack house, my father quickly exited the vehicle and headed to his office, leaving me on my own. I timidly and cautiously got into the beta suite, but I was relieved to find that my mother was already in bed. I decided to go directly to my room and try to sleep as well. Unfortunately, I ended up tossing and turning all night. The look on my father's face when talking to the guards continued to haunt me. When I did sleep, I had nightmares. Strangely, Rose seemed restless too, but other than briefly wishing me a happy birthday after it hit midnight, she did not say anything. I think the main thing that provoked my nightmares and kept me up was that my heart ached for my father. I knew that I wanted to help him with his pain and ease his suffering, but I was not sure what I could do or say to make things better. It has already been six years. If time has not helped heal his heart, what could I do? The truth is, I am not Stephanie and I never will be. The only thing I have ever known how to do for my father is to try to stay out of his way. At least for my mother, I can serve as a literal punching bag to help her relieve her grief. And for others in the pack, I can serve as both a literal and metaphorical punching bag. But, I am nothing to my father: my father has neglected me and ignored the sufferings I went through, but he has never directly participated in any of them. Perhaps that is one reason his pain upsets me more than the pain of everyone else. He is the least awful amongst my current tormentors, and I can sometimes lie to myself that he does not know or agree with how much I have suffered. I know that it probably seems strange that my heart aches for him at all, given that he is someone who, for the most part, could care less about me. However, please understand that for my own sanity, I have chosen to remember and hold on to the good times in my childhood. Of course, there is also the fact that... regardless of how my father currently feels about me... I have always been --and will probably always be-- a daddy's girl. It is just part of who I am. Since I was in diapers, I have looked up to my father and considered him to be my superhero. Before Stephanie died, I never saw an ounce of weakness in him. He was my strength and my rock. I always had an strong desire to make him proud of me. He was always the first one I ran to when I got a good grade on a test, or when I drew a picture I thought he might like. And ...before Stephanie died... he was always the first one to dry my tears when I got hurt or to give me reassuring praise when I felt down. Even though I knew Stephanie was his favorite... even though I knew Stephanie's accomplishments would always be greater, and that he would always be more proud of her... those little things mattered to me. I lived for those moments. Sigh. By 5:30 am, I gave up on any hope of further sleep. Stephanie's first remembrance event was not scheduled until 11 am, so I knew I had a little bit of time. Eager to take advantage of that time and also avoid my mother, I took a quick shower, packed a small backpack, and headed out of the house. Predictably, my feet led me to the waterfall that I had shifted in front of six years ago. I have come here at least twice a year since Stephanie died, usually on her birthday and death anniversary. The waterfall brings me an odd sense of peace. As beautiful as it is, I do not know anyone else who comes here. Perhaps that is why I like it so much. I sighed. "It is easy to tell myself that when I am away from the pack and not having to cope with the consequences. It is a lot harder to believe that I am blameless when everyone around me is crying and upset all the time. You saw my dad last night. That nearly broke me. He is still hurting so much." "That does not make any of it your fault," Rose protests. "Rose, the day before Stephanie died, I prayed that the Moon Goddess stop Stephanie from continuing to hurt me." "She was not hurting you, Lily. She was torturing you. There is nothing wrong with you praying that it stop." "There is if it cost Stephanie her life." "Lily, you are not giving the Moon Goddess enough credit. You are smarter and stronger than this. You need to stop with the emotional vomit and ---" Suddenly Rose stops talking through the link. She is pacing back in forth in my head. I have no idea what is going on, until the overwhelming scent of vanilla and coffee beans hits my nose. "Mate! Lily, our mate is here! Mate, mate, mate, mate, mate!!!" I stand, dust the ashes off of my jeans, and turn around. My heart drops when I recognize the werewolf standing about 200 feet away from me. This has to be a joke. This cannot be happening.	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2,378,796	/src/Template/Ads/index.ctp (line 281) '{"alias":2378710}'	No	2024-11-06 00:42	active	1739	🔞🔥 Continuer la lecture ➤➤	(Lily POV) Today is my 14th birthday. There will not be birthday cake, singing, or a party. Instead, we are attending a funeral. My sister's funeral, to be exact. Before my sister... died... we had a large party planned for me. I normally do not have a big party, but 14th birthdays are a really big event to werewolves. They are the day that we first meet our wolves. The next monumental birthday is our 20th birthday; that is when can first identify our fated mates. I am our Beta’s youngest daughter, and my father is loved and well-respected. Everyone was excited to meet my wolf and to see what type of wolf she would be. Thus, the guest list for my party was pretty large, and it included ranked wolves from nearby packs. I am normally a little bit of a loner, hence why I usually do not have a big birthday party. However, for this particular occasion, I was happy to have a lot of guests. Meeting your wolf comes with the first shift/ transition, and that can be incredibly painful. As inherently social creatures, the only thing known to help wolves with the pain of the first shift is to have supportive family, friends, and community around you. The way that it typically works is that the pack will host a dinner or barbeque in your honor. As night falls, and the moon replaces the sun in the sky, everyone will gather inside the pack amphitheater. The shifter-to-be will stand in the middle of the amphitheater while guests quietly chant well wishes and prayers to the Moon Goddess. The energy in the space can be electrifying for everyone present, no matter whether there are 25 attendees or 500. Once the first shift is completed, the new wolf will prance around the stage and strut their stuff. The crowd will “ooh” and “aah” until the pack alpha approaches, learns the new wolf’s name, and introduces the wolf to the crowd. The new wolf will also swear his or her allegiance to the pack and to the alpha, allowing the wolf to mind-link with other pack wolves. Finally, the new wolf and any guests old enough to shift will go for a pack run. The whole process is incredibly special and exciting. As you might imagine, décor is also an important part of the party planning process. Each shifter gets to decide the decorations and party theme that will be used for their party. If more than one wolf turns 14 on the same day, the wolves can either agree on a theme or split the party into parts that they can individually decorate. The pack luna will then work some sort of magic that somehow blends the individual areas into one cohesive theme in the center. My birthday is in October, and despite how large our pack is, I am the only one born on that day. I love having an October birthday because my favorite season is fall. For my décor, I had picked flowers and decorations in rich fall colors, including deep oranges, reds, and greens. Unfortunately, none of my party decorations will be used. Or rather, none of my decorations will be used for me. As I mentioned, we are holding a funeral today instead. My oldest sister, Stephanie, died this morning. Pack and religious tradition dictates that we must hold funerals within 24 hours of death. Because Stephanie died shortly after midnight, her funeral must be held today. All food and décor set aside for my birthday party was therefore immediately diverted for the funeral; thankfully my fall themed colors were sufficiently somber-ish to work. All decorations that seemed relatively “happy”, celebratory, or that mention me have been removed. Pictures of Stephanie have now been placed on tables and podiums, and the music I selected has been swapped out for songs about loss or Stephanie’s favorites. The loss of Stephanie is a really hurting. Not only was she my sister and my parents’ oldest and favorite child, she was also widely anticipated to be the mate of Alpha Randall’s son, James, which meant she was most likely the future luna of our pack. Stephanie would have turned 20 in three months, and she and James would have been able to confirm that they were mates then. The pack was so sure that they were mates —and Alpha Randall was so eager to turn the pack over to James and his mate, once she was identified and ready to take on the luna position— that they deviated from standard protocols and decided to begin Stephanie’s Luna training just after she turned 18. If I am being completely honest, something never sat right with me about Stephanie starting Luna training. Part of it is what Stephanie's Luna training meant for me, but that is a separate conversation. The biggest thing was that I did not understand why luna training could not wait until Stephanie turned 20 and could confirm who her mate was. Lunas for generations have waited for their training; why couldn't Stephanie? It also bothered me quite a bit to watch Stephanie hang all over James at pack functions. Our pack frowned upon dating and public displays of affection prior to finding your mate; it created too much risk for problems, anger, and jealousy once your mate was located. For whatever reason, an exception was made for Stephanie. But then again, exceptions always were made for her. Stephanie was strong and absolutely beautiful, and the pack knew her as being kind, smart, and energetic. She could do no wrong in the eyes of my parents, the alpha, or the pack. I hope I do not sound too jealous or bitter. I loved my sister, and her death is hitting me really hard. It’s just that…. I knew a different side of my sister than everyone else, and I know more than anyone that my sister was far from perfect. Had I spoken up before she died, I would have been accused of jealousy and lying. And were I to speak up now, well… I would be accused of jealousy, lying, AND improperly speaking ill of the dead. It is easier to just let it go. Along with my birthday. It isn't that important anyway. I do not want to be selfish or self-centered. The only immediate problem with letting go is that --bad timing or not-- I am going to shift for the first time tonight. There is nothing I can do to stop or postpone it, as much as I would like to do so. I am worried about how it is going to go. Hopefully, during the reception, my mother or father or brother or someone will be willing to step aside with me for a 20-30 minutes just to get me through it. We could then return and act like everything is normal. Or as normal as it can be with Stephanie now gone. Sadly, I should have known that nothing in life is that easy. Chapter 2: The Little Brat (James POV) I watch sadly as the casket is carried from the temple to the burial grounds. It is a cold October day, and the gray sky and drizzly weather adds to the overall somber atmosphere. I cannot help but be impressed at how quickly the pack was able to pull everything together for Stephanie's funeral. All funerals happen quickly in our world, but because of how fast the funerals must take place, the décor and guest list is usually somewhat lacking. It is a testament to how much Stephanie was loved that they were able to put together so many beautiful floral arrangements in her honor, and that so many people were able to be here to honor her life, including many wolves from other packs. If it wasn't for it being such a horrible occasion, I would actually describe the color scheme as beautiful. Then again, fall has always been one of my favorite seasons. I am vaguely aware that we had some other function on the calendar today, but I honestly cannot think of what it was. With a large pack —the West Mountain Pack has over 10,000 members— we have a lot of functions. As the future alpha, I am expected to attend as many of them as I possibly can, but no one expects me to remember what they all are… even if I try to pretend in the moment. Unless reminded by an Omega or my amazing girlfriend, I can't even seem to remember my own mother and father's birthdays most of the time. My amazing girlfriend. I sigh, wiping a tear from my eye. She will never again be around to remind me about birthdays. Sadly, there will be no pretending that I know what today's ceremony is about. Stephanie Brogan was the love of my life, and she was my future mate and luna. I still cannot believe that she is gone. We never even got to fully experience the mate bond, including the sparks betwwen us. Had she lived just three months longer, our wolves would have confirmed one another as mates and Stephanie would have been able to formally claim her proper place in my bed and in my life. Instead of welcoming her body into my bed, I am saying good-bye to her today. I am also saying good-bye to all of our future plans and dreams together. I cannot help but feel anger and resentment about that. This is not how things were supposed to be. As I watch the funeral procession go by --my father, mother, and I, along with the beta family, must stand at the entrance as guests move from the temple to the burial grounds-- I catch a glimpse of Stephanie’s younger sister, Lily. She is standing next to her mother. She looks both sad and innocent, which causes the anger in my body to rise even more. That little brat is the reason that Stephanie is dead. *FLASHBACK TO LAST NIGHT* Stephanie and I are cuddled on the couch in the packhouse living room watching a movie. I have my hand on her arm and I am about to kiss her when she gets distracted by a text message. Stephanie did not let me see the message, which annoys me, but she quickly explains that Lily is lost in the forest after having snuck out to meet a boy. Stephanie’s sister is 13 or 14 years old. She has all the teenage acne and attitude that comes along with being that young. Unlike Stephanie —who has beautiful blond hair and hazel eyes— Lily has reddish brown hair and bright green eyes. Or at least I think they are bright green; she usually has them covered up with large black glasses. Stephanie gets up and tells me that Lily has texted her, begging her to come and find her. I am annoyed by the interruption, but I offer to go with Stephanie to get the little brat. Stephanie says Lily will be upset if anyone else knows about her little escapade. Stephanie reassures me that she will be fine, and then gives me a quick peck. My wolf and I have a bad feeling when Stephanie leaves, but Stephanie has us wrapped around her little finger. It is almost impossible for my wolf and I to disagree with her about anything. We pause the movie and decide to get some work done in my dad's office while we wait for Stephanie to get back. I am a night owl anyway, so I do not mind waiting. Unfortunately, about an hour after Stephanie leaves, I get an urgent mind-link from our pack warriors. They report that the Little Brat had been spotted running out of the woods screaming for help. Before they can say much more, I shift into my wolf form and take off running. I follow Stephanie’s scent far into the woods…. until I come to a small clearing, which is covered in Stephanie’s blood. Her bloody clothes are tossed around, and chunks of her hair are thrown about as well. It is the worst, most savage site that I have ever seen. The smell of rogues is all over, so it is fairly obvious what has happened. The a---holes didn’t even bother to leave her body. *END OF FLASHBACK* Tears threaten to continue to fall as I think back to the scene last night. I have not slept or eaten since I found what was left of Stephanie, and I am having trouble holding my emotions together. Now that my eyes have spotted Lily, my anger with her becomes a welcome distraction. I have a very hard time looking away from her. The truth is that I have always found myself strangely curious about her, but today… today all I want to do is take my anger out on someone, and she seems as good a target as anyone else. Her teenage behavior cost me my mate! And it cost this pack its future luna! My wolf, Luke, begs me to calm down. It is an interesting thing, having the wolf side try to calm the human side. As upset and angry and emotional as I am, it is tempting to ignore him and immediately start teach that Little Brat a lesson. However, I decide to follow Luke's advice after he reminds me that Stephanie deserves to have her funeral be all about her and not some whiny teenage brat. That does not mean that I am going to let Lily get away with what she has done, but I wait until a more appropriate time to take my revenge. I turn my focus back to Stephanie’s casket, which we filled with her bloody clothes, hair, and anything that could be found at the site that had her blood on it. The casket has been brought to the center of the amphitheater. The alpha and beta families take their seats in the front row, and my father and the pack priest move beside the casket to begin the ceremony. The ceremony involves a lot of prayers, rituals, and speakers. The average ceremony takes 2-3 hours, and Stephanie's will most likely take closer to 4-5 hours given her status in the pack and how beloved she was. During the ceremony, I keep trying to distract myself by looking around as others around me. I do not want to be seen as weak by curling into the fetal position and wailing like a baby, even though that is the only thing I want to do right now. My heart breaks as I glance at Stephanie’s parents next to me in the front row, holding on to one another as they cry. Seeing Stephanie’s father —a strong, powerful Beta wolf— break down is a sight I have very rarely seen. The pain in his eyes is heart-wrenching. I also notice Stephanie's brother, Nick, as he clings to his mate, Jenny. Both of them are crying as well. Nick is my best friend, and I have known him since we were tiny pups, but I have literally never seen him cry. I notice that there are no dry eyes anywhere. Even my father has a few stray tears running down his cheeks, although I am sure he would punch anyone who pointed it out. He is a proud man, just like me. As the sky continues to darken, I notice the Little Brat starting to act like she is uncomfortable in her seat. I can tell that Stephanie's mother is getting agitated, and rightly so. For once, can the Little Brat not think about something other than herself? Seriously. It is one ceremony. Just one. For an older sister who died trying to help her. How dare the Little Brat not hold herself together? The next thing I know, the moon is high in the sky and the final rites are being spoken by the priest. As exactly that moment, the Little Brat whispers something in her mother’s ear. Her mother turns and glares at her, causing the Little Brat to put her head down. I then watch as the Little Brat stands up and walks away. She looks like she is in pain, and I hope that she is. How dare she walk away from her sister’s funeral! Especially in the middle of the last rites! I am tempted to follow her and give her a piece of my mind, but Stephanie means more to me than that. I remind myself once again that I will get my revenge on Lily aka the Little Brat soon enough. For tonight, I must remain focused on the love of my life. Chapter 3: Lily Meets Rose “Y-yes.” “Good. Now open your eyes.” I opened my eyes and immediately noticed that I was not human anymore. My feet and hands were paws. I then looked into the water that pooled at the edge of the waterfall, and I saw my reflection… or rather the reflection of Rose. My heart stopped. There are many different types of wolves —alpha wolves; beta wolves; gamma wolves; warrior wolves; silver wolves; white wolves; red wolves; omega wolves. And even within those categories, there are varying sizes and colors and markings. We learn about the types of wolves in school. “Expect the unexpected” was a phrase that was often said about the first transition, but in reality your wolf generally follows your lineage: the children of alpha wolves will generally be alpha wolves; the children of beta wolves will generally be beta wolves; and so on. Typically, the big excitement —especially with children of ranked wolves— centers on the size, color, and personality of the new wolf. Looking back at me in the reflection of the pool was a type of wolf I had never seen or learned about in school. Rose’s fur was a beautiful bluish-silver color that almost glowed. On the right side of her rump was a large black crescent moon symbol, and the black coloring of that symbol matched her solid black paws and black tail. In addition, I noticed that Rose was huge. Although it was tough to tell, it appeared to me that Rose was at least as large as some alpha wolves. “What type of wolf are we, Rose?” “A special type. You will learn more as time goes on, but know that the Moon Goddess has blessed you and I, Lily.” I did not say anything; I was not sure what to say. Rose and I sat by the waterfall for a while longer, until I remembered Stephanie’s funeral. “We need to get back!” I told Rose in a panic. Rose guided me through how to transform back to our human form, and I frantically searched the nearby trees for clothes. I found a men’s t-shirt and shorts. Both were far too big for my small frame, so I opted to just put the t-shirt on. I also grabbed my eye-glasses off the ground and put them on; thankfully they did not break during the transition. Now that I had Rose, I would not need the glasses anymore because she would heal my eyes. However, Rose warned me that —for now— it was best that I continue to wear the glasses and let the pack believe that I did not yet have my wolf. I thought it was a curious thing for her to say, but I had no reason to not trust her. I hurried back to the packhouse and got into the beta suite, hoping to quickly change clothes and re-join the mourning crowd. Unfortunately, once I got in the suite, I was met with the angry, accusing eyes of my mother. “WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? HOW DARE YOU MAKE A SCENE AT YOUR SISTER’S FUNERAL! HAVE YOU NO SHAME? ARE YOU SO SELFISH AND SELF-CENTERED THAT YOU CAN THINK OF NO ONE BUT YOURSELF?” I said nothing. What could I say? My mother then did something that, in my 14 years, she had never done before. She slapped me. Hard. And the beating continued from there. Chapter 4: Living in the Shadows (6 years later) (Lily POV) Six years have now passed since that fateful day that Stephanie died. I wish that I could say that life has moved on, and that we have found good in the bad... but for the most part, it isn't true. Stephanie is just as much a part of this pack today as she was before she died. And the grief felt in the pack is just as raw and angry as it was that first day. If anything has changed, it is that --instead of Stephanie being out in the center of things-- she lives on almost like a shadow over everything. She now has a couple of streets named after her --Stephanie Lane and Steffie Avenue (her nickname was "Steffie"); and you can quite literally find some of her favorite outfits on display in glass cases at various places throughout the pack. Even more bizarre, the day she died was turned into a pack holiday, as was her birthday. Everyone but pack omegas have both days off from work, school, and training, and there are somber celebrations and remembrances planned to commemorate each occasion. I once made the mistake of asking my parents whether this was a normal reaction to the death of a single she-wolf. We can love and miss her, but to continue to hold large ceremonies every year? And to treat her as a saint and forget that she had a human side too? That seemed a bit too much to me. As far as I know, the pack has never done this for any other luna or future luna, and it only honors 2-3 historical alphas in such a manner. I was rewarded for my questions by being called jealous and hateful. (I also received a significant beating, but beatings had become commonplace from my mother, so I cannot say that my question necessarily triggered the beating I received that day. Plus, the beating hurt far less than what I received before Stephanie died. But for the slight pain and who did the beating, I almost would not have minded.) Overall, I think the worst part of losing Stephanie six years ago wasn't losing Stephanie... it was how losing Stephanie impacted my relationship with my parents and other pack members. Before Stephanie died, I was well aware that Stephanie was my parents' favorite. My older brother Nick and I would even joke about it from time to time. But even though Stephanie was their favorite, they still treated me really well and loved me. They never would have raised a hand to me before Stephanie died. After Stephanie died, however, my parents could barely look at me. And when they did, I saw the unmistakable wish in their eyes that it had been me, not Stephanie, that died that fateful night. In addition, my parents stopped caring about my well-being generally. I lived in their house until I was 17, but I was responsible for my own meals and necessities. I was forced to take on a part-time job at a nearby diner just to ensure I had clothes and food to eat. (I technically could have eaten the food that was available in the packhouse, but the dirty looks and mean comments made by my parents, James, and other pack members were enough to make that an unrealistic option.) Also, in case you are wondering, I have not celebrated a birthday since Stephanie died. Not one single soul other than Rose has bothered to tell me happy birthday. No one even bothered to ask me whether I had received my wolf. That wasn't because birthdays stopped being important; it was just mine whose meaning changed. I attended plenty of birthday parties, and the pack hosted plenty of 14th birthday celebrations. In fact, I think it was because of one of those birthday celebrations that someone finally questioned whether I had received a wolf. It was a legitimate question, given that I was over 14 and never joined a pack run. Rose encouraged me early on to skip them "for safety reasons," and I was all too happy to do so. Had anyone bothered to ask me directly about my wolf or about why I was skipping the pack runs, I would have been honest... but no one ever did. Instead, a rumor spread that I was wolfless. Pack members speculated that I lost my wolf as a result of post-traumatic stress from losing Stephanie and/or guilt for what I had done to Stephanie. That latter theory was the one that really got under my skin, because I knew that was a theory and rumor spread by James. Shortly after Stephanie's funeral, he told my parents and most of the pack that Stephanie was only in the forest that night to save me. He also said I had gone out to meet a boy. I have no idea why he would say such things; I have never had a boyfriend and Stephanie was the one who asked me to meet her in the forest. This rumor was the main reason that I received a beating from my mother the night of my first shift. And it probably adds to the reason that pack members wish me dead. Notably, though, I have never dared to defend myself. To tell the truth would be the equivalent of talking negatively of both Stephanie and our future alpha.... and would likely lead to a death sentence. So instead, I have always just pushed through. One of the ways that I have survived is to hold on to the faith that one day things will be different. Another thing that I have done is take every last opportunity to leave the pack. For example, I hurried through high school so that I could graduate early, and I then went away to college. To avoid coming home, I have been loading up on credit hours and taking every term of school -including the mini winter sessions-- that I can get. I am also taking advantage of a unique expedited program offered just for werewolves doctors. Given all of these things, I actually expect that I can become a fully licensed werewolf doctor in just a couple more years. Until I become fully licensed and independent, I will have to continue to bear the shadow of my sister and the pain that comes with it. I am required to be present for both of her holidays --all pack members are; there are no exceptions-- but thankfully those are among the very few times that I can reliably be found at the Western Mountain pack these days. My ultimate goal is to meet my mate and become a pack doctor in his pack... which I pray to the Moon Goddess is not the Western Mountain pack. If, Goddess forbid, my mate is in this pack, perhaps I can convince him to transfer packs with me. Goddess willing. Tomorrow is my birthday. I guess we will find out then. Chapter 5: Without His Luna (James POV) Tomorrow will mark six years since Stephanie died. Everything and nothing has changed. I still think of Stephanie every single day. Her beautiful smile. Her laugh. The kindness that she showed to pack members. The ethusiam that she showed for her luna training. Stephanie would have been an amazing and strong luna. Had Stephanie lived, we would have been happily married by now. We would probably have already had at least two adorable pups, who would have been doted on by two loving sets of grandparents. Together, Stephanie and I would have been leading the West Mountain Pack to new heights. Of course, Stephanie is no longer here. And without Stephanie… Well, without Stephanie, I am only a fraction of the man that I used to be, and only a fraction of the wolf. Without Stephanie, I am not even Alpha yet. In our world, most alpha heirs take over from their fathers between 25 and 30 years old. That timing ensures that most alphas will have already found their mates before they take over the running of a pack. Running a pack is not easy to do by yourself. Even with a strong beta and a strong gamma, a luna’s importance to a pack cannot be underestimated. A luna brings heart and balance to a pack and to the alpha himself. She is the alpha’s equal, and she is one of the few werewolves in the pack who can get away with challenging and questioning an alpha’s decisions. If she exercises her role properly and judiciously, a luna’s presence can lead to better overall outcomes, decisions, and governing. This is especially true if the luna is the alpha’s fated mate, because it means she takes on her role with the blessing of the Moon Goddess. Alpha heirs who take over their packs prior to turning 25 typically do so either out of necessity, or because they have been fortunate to have been mated very early to a strong luna. Six years ago, when Stephanie was still alive, my father thought we were going to be part of the lucky latter category. He had been very eager to take an early retirement. He and my mother had fantasized about all the European trips and Caribbean cruises that they would take after I was sworn in as alpha, and they had already had tentative plans for at least one of those trips. Of course, all of those plans were ultimately scrapped. Today, I am old enough to take over as alpha, even without a luna by my side… but my father is concerned that I am not mentally strong enough to do so yet. He sees me as broken. My father is probably right. It is a little hard not to feel broken. The reminders of Stephanie are everywhere. Even after six long years, I feel like I cannot escape from the reminders or from my grief, and it is suffocating. The packhouse has practically turned into a mini museum to her, and almost all of the local businesses have some sort of small dedication, whether it be a dedicated drink, food item, picture, or shelf of Stephanie-inspired items. Worse, twice a year, we hold a series of ceremonies and remembrances for Stephanie. As Stephanie’s mate and as the future alpha heir, I am expected to attend every one of them. I want to be there. I know that I should be there. But… It is complete and utter torture. Every day without Stephanie is difficult, but Stephanie’s birthdays and death anniversaries always hit me the hardest. What I want to do more than anything on those two days is be by myself so that I can process my grief. There is a waterfall that I like to go to. If I could, I would spend all day there on both days. The waterfall isn’t exactly hidden, but to find it, you have to go pretty far within the woods and know where to go. As far as I know, I am the only one in our pack who ever goes there. Being at the waterfall brings me comfort; it always has. That is where I want to be when I am grieving or upset. Unfortunately, instead of spending time in the comfort of my waterfall, I have to spend the two hardest days each year out in public with almost 20,000 eyes watching my every move and every reaction. Instead of just… grieving… I have to be conscientious of how every display of emotion can impact and be perceived by the pack members. As I listen to pack members, Stephanie’s parents, and my own parents take turns telling stories about Stephanie and her good deeds, I am expected to somehow strike an impossible balance between sadness and strength. At each of the events, year after year, the remembrances are largely the same. At this point, I practically have the speeches memorized. The speeches usually include stories about how Stephanie would bake cookies and send her sister to deliver them to the guards working the late-night shift on the borders. And stories about how any time anyone was injured in training or at battle, she would not only have her sister deliver care baskets to patients at the hospital, but she would also put one together for any family members separated from them while they were recovering. My parents talk about how eager Stephanie was to take on her position as luna, and how dedicated she was to her training, even working on lessons for hours at home multiple times per week. Stephanie’s parents talk about their prior dreams for their daughter and the hole they continue to feel in their hearts. Nick talks about how family celebrations do not feel the same without Stephanie there, and Jenny talks about wishing that she still had a sister-in-law to bond with and engage in girl talk. The only blessing is that —as the grieving mate— no one expects me to say anything at these events. But that does not spare me from the staring and judgment. If I show too much sadness, pack members worry that I am weak and will not able to be the leader of the pack in the future. If I seem too stoic or show too much “strength,” pack members could perceive me being disrespectful towards Stephanie’s memory. They will also worry that my reign as alpha will lack balance and compassion…. which I already hear whispers about from time to time. Sometimes, I feel angry about the whole thing. I would never, ever expect anyone who has lost their mate to put themselves on a stage multiple times a year and be judged on whether their external grief is appropriate enough. And yet my parents have no problem doing it to me. I tried to push back once, but only once. As you can imagine, it did not go well. I started the conversation by telling my parents that I did not think it was healthy for me to be surrounded by constant reminders of Stephanie, and I told them that I thought the constant remembrances were counterproductive to my mental health. I suggested that we scale back the events, or make them more private affairs. My father got angry and accused me of being selfish. He told me that being uncomfortable and coping with the pressure of judgmental pack members is part of being an alpha. Meanwhile, my mother reminded me that the ceremonies had been Stephanie’s parents’ idea, and she asked me if I wanted to be the one to tell them it was no longer important to celebrate Stephanie’s life. No, of course I did not want to tell Stephanie's parents that. No, I did not want to be selfish. I just wanted --and still want-- to not feel so sad all the time. Six years in, and the only reprieve I ever get from my grief is when the Little Brat is around. She has made herself scarce the last few years, but when she is around, my wolf and I can sense her from a mile away. My wolf and I fight about her all the time --for some reason, Luke seems to have a soft spot for the Little Brat-- but we can agree that it is nice having her around. For me, it's because I have a worthy target for my anger and rage. Chapter 8: Daddy's Girl (Lily POV) The drive to the pack house was eerily silent. After my father and I arrived at the pack house, my father quickly exited the vehicle and headed to his office, leaving me on my own. I timidly and cautiously got into the beta suite, but I was relieved to find that my mother was already in bed. I decided to go directly to my room and try to sleep as well. Unfortunately, I ended up tossing and turning all night. The look on my father's face when talking to the guards continued to haunt me. When I did sleep, I had nightmares. Strangely, Rose seemed restless too, but other than briefly wishing me a happy birthday after it hit midnight, she did not say anything. I think the main thing that provoked my nightmares and kept me up was that my heart ached for my father. I knew that I wanted to help him with his pain and ease his suffering, but I was not sure what I could do or say to make things better. It has already been six years. If time has not helped heal his heart, what could I do? The truth is, I am not Stephanie and I never will be. The only thing I have ever known how to do for my father is to try to stay out of his way. At least for my mother, I can serve as a literal punching bag to help her relieve her grief. And for others in the pack, I can serve as both a literal and metaphorical punching bag. But, I am nothing to my father: my father has neglected me and ignored the sufferings I went through, but he has never directly participated in any of them. Perhaps that is one reason his pain upsets me more than the pain of everyone else. He is the least awful amongst my current tormentors, and I can sometimes lie to myself that he does not know or agree with how much I have suffered. I know that it probably seems strange that my heart aches for him at all, given that he is someone who, for the most part, could care less about me. However, please understand that for my own sanity, I have chosen to remember and hold on to the good times in my childhood. Of course, there is also the fact that... regardless of how my father currently feels about me... I have always been --and will probably always be-- a daddy's girl. It is just part of who I am. Since I was in diapers, I have looked up to my father and considered him to be my superhero. Before Stephanie died, I never saw an ounce of weakness in him. He was my strength and my rock. I always had an strong desire to make him proud of me. He was always the first one I ran to when I got a good grade on a test, or when I drew a picture I thought he might like. And ...before Stephanie died... he was always the first one to dry my tears when I got hurt or to give me reassuring praise when I felt down. Even though I knew Stephanie was his favorite... even though I knew Stephanie's accomplishments would always be greater, and that he would always be more proud of her... those little things mattered to me. I lived for those moments. Sigh. By 5:30 am, I gave up on any hope of further sleep. Stephanie's first remembrance event was not scheduled until 11 am, so I knew I had a little bit of time. Eager to take advantage of that time and also avoid my mother, I took a quick shower, packed a small backpack, and headed out of the house. Predictably, my feet led me to the waterfall that I had shifted in front of six years ago. I have come here at least twice a year since Stephanie died, usually on her birthday and death anniversary. The waterfall brings me an odd sense of peace. As beautiful as it is, I do not know anyone else who comes here. Perhaps that is why I like it so much. I sighed. "It is easy to tell myself that when I am away from the pack and not having to cope with the consequences. It is a lot harder to believe that I am blameless when everyone around me is crying and upset all the time. You saw my dad last night. That nearly broke me. He is still hurting so much." "That does not make any of it your fault," Rose protests. "Rose, the day before Stephanie died, I prayed that the Moon Goddess stop Stephanie from continuing to hurt me." "She was not hurting you, Lily. She was torturing you. There is nothing wrong with you praying that it stop." "There is if it cost Stephanie her life." "Lily, you are not giving the Moon Goddess enough credit. You are smarter and stronger than this. You need to stop with the emotional vomit and ---" Suddenly Rose stops talking through the link. She is pacing back in forth in my head. I have no idea what is going on, until the overwhelming scent of vanilla and coffee beans hits my nose. "Mate! Lily, our mate is here! Mate, mate, mate, mate, mate!!!" I stand, dust the ashes off of my jeans, and turn around. My heart drops when I recognize the werewolf standing about 200 feet away from me. This has to be a joke. This cannot be happening.	LEARN_MORE	https://getokn.com/market/goodnovel/1?lpid=10745&u	Massive story	https://www.facebook.com/61560932294131/	0	1969-12-31 18:00	Learn More	getokn.com	DCO		https://getokn.com/market/goodnovel/1?lpid=10745&utm_campaign={{campaign.name}}&utm_content={{campaign.id}}&adset_name={{adset.name}}&adset_id={{adset.id}}&ad_id={{ad.id}}&ad_name={{ad.name}}	1969-12-31 18:00	https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.35426-6/448916543_502070082268628_4383741934976369995_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s60x60&_nc_cat=108&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=c53f8f&_nc_ohc=WjiC2JWW_50Q7kNvgEgQ3rj&_nc_zt=14&_nc_ht=scontent-iad3-1.xx&_nc_gid=AhPq4GArgi0ZpCJAYxoFGZb&oh=00_AYDNMq2fsV-N9YxFVdAh_yb2BNhA6Ag-nziX_veeHS-quw&oe=6730D690	PERSON_PROFILE	0	Massive story	1969-12-31 18:00	View Edit Delete

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