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I, along with everyone else in the pack, had a crush on the future Alpha since we were kids. But not everyone was in love with him like I was.
Not that we really ever talked besides one time he accidentally bumped into me, or that he noticed me even when I couldn't stop staring at him. My thoughts were consumed by him. Maybe that was obsessive, but nothing I ever tried stopped me from fantasizing about him.
I might have been pretty, but no one ever told me that. I enjoyed school and had friends, but I didn’t stand out. Not like his gorgeous, naturally blonde, leggy girlfriend who he had most of high school. She knew how to command everyone's attention.
That was, until my eighteenth birthday during the summer after I graduated.
I was walking past the training grounds to take a walk before my parents woke up in anticipation of our tradition of making more pancakes that we could consume and watching movies all morning to recover.
I smelled something delicious; more than that, it was soothing yet beckoning. It reminded me of the forest after it rained, but the morning sky was clear, and it had been for days.
The future Alpha, Nolan, was blocking my path. I swallowed; his dark brown hair was damp with sweat, and his matching brown eyes flickered to midnight black.
“Mine,” he growled.
A million butterflies erupted through me, and my whole body buzzed as shock rooted me to the spot.
I couldn’t believe it; everything I’d ever dreamed that I never dared to even put words to, outside of my ridiculous fantasies, was coming true.
That day he made me his in every way possible. From that moment, my world revolved around him more than it already did.

That was over a year ago now, and I still couldn’t believe he was mine, only mine. Things weren’t perfect. We were both busy learning how to take over the new roles we would assume a few months after he turned twenty-one. When he officially becomes Alpha, I will be right by his side as his Luna.
It still didn't feel real. I still looked at him as I did across the cafeteria, with longing and want. The only difference was now he returned those stares with the same intensity.

“Switch the forks. You know this, Willa.” The current Luna Natalie, Nolan's mom, scolded me.
My Luna lessons consisted mostly of party planning, memorizing the names and faces of ranked members of other packs, how to be the picture of stoic yet warm, and thinking about what Nolan was doing.
To be honest, I was having trouble with all of those besides the last one. All of the beiges looked exactly the same; I didn’t even know there was more than one color peach.
“Sorry, Luna,” I mumbled, catching her glare. No mumbling.
“Luna, Willa.” Jack, Nolan's future Gamma, came into the room, greeting us. “Camilla is here and requests an audience.”
“Well, isn’t that fantastic.” Luna Natalie’s smile was genuine, but my stomach turned to lead. Camilla, as in Nolan's high school girlfriend? There was no way; she had been at college.
“You can finish the setup, can’t you?” She turned to me, and I nodded.
“Of course, Luna.” I smiled at her despite my curiosity and probably misplaced dread.
“I’ll help,” Jack added, taking the tray of silverware from Luna Natalie.
“Thanks,” I muttered when she was out of the room.
“This is t.orture,” he joked.
"I can't disagree with you there."
“I would rather do back-to-back training than do a lesson with the Luna.”
Even though I didn’t train regularly, I sometimes joined in. But after I was mated to Nolan thus becoming the future Luna, I was required to stop it completely.
“Willa, there’s someone I would like you to meet.” The Luna stood in the doorway.
A moment later, Camilla, the same Camilla, strolled in.
She looked at the place settings before even looking at me.
“Jack.” She smiled at him; her lips pulled back over blindingly white teeth. Her naturally blonde hair was perfectly curled, and she stood tall and confident in a tight red dress that seemed more suited for a party and black stilettos that showed off her long golden legs.
“Nice to see you; it's been too long,” Jack smiled back, looking between us both. “How is college?”
“Fine.” She waved a manicured hand.“But Carden Valley is so dull; there’s hardly anything to do there.” Carden Valley tugged at my memory, but I didn’t know why.
“Camilla, I’m not sure if you’ve been formally introduced to Willa yet, Nolan's mate.” Jack made the introduction I was waiting for from Luna Natalie. Camilla's smile faltered for a split second, and the bright smile she had for Jack was replaced with a tight-lipped one as she looked me over.
I pulled some of my wavy black hair behind my ear, fighting to keep my gaze level and not look down at the plain white cotton dress I wore. I suddenly felt wildly underdressed in my own home.
“We haven’t.” Camilla extended her hand, not making a move to step forward.
I closed the space between us and shook hers. “It’s a pleasure.” I mustered my best fake Luna smile.“Nolan and I are honored to have you visit. I hope you're staying for his birthday?” I kept my voice level even though I wanted to claw her perfectly lined eyes out for some reason.
His 21st birthday party was a few days away, and I helped with every aspect of that party. It was something I was actually proud of, and I wanted her to see that I was capable, even if I didn't look as good in a mini-skirt. But what did I even want to show off? My party planning skills? Even thinking that felt dull.
"Of course," She replied. My stomach twisted in knots, but wasn't that the answer I was just hoping for?
“I can’t wait to get to know you better." I held my ground and kept smiling.
“Likewise.” Her smile was devoid of emotion, “Oh, Willa is it?”
I nodded.
“I think your soup and dessert spoons are mixed up.” I tore my gaze from her to the place setting.
“So they are,” Luna Natalie tutted, “Thank you for noticing that, Camilla.”
She ushered her out of the room; their heads were bent together, laughing and whispering.
I groaned and fell back into a chair.
“Very, un luna like of you,” Jack laughed. “But your performance was great.”
I glared at him. "Was it that obvious?"
"Well." He shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck, a telltale sign he was trying not to hurt someone's feelings.
Jack and the future Beta, Isaac, became my friends over the past year, but I grew a soft spot for Jack almost immediately. I was surprised at first at how accepting they were of me. I definitely wasn’t like the girls they usually hung out with. But this past year, we pretty much did everything together as the future ranked members, and all lived in the packhouse.
I moved in the night after Nolan mated and marked me; the thought of that night still sent s.hivers of p.leasure down my spine. I was in complete shock and awe that the man that I dreamed of for most of my life was claiming me.
“Willa?” Jack looked at me, pulling me from my thoughts.
“Hm?”
“I asked if there was anything else after we switch the spoons,” I shook my head and bit my lip, refraining myself from asking him more about Camilla.
My stomach dropped when I thought about her. The pain felt physical, like someone sucked all the air out of me and filled my lungs with lead. This was an insane reaction to my jealousy that I knew was misplaced. What they had ended even before I found out I was his mate, I didn't take him from her. Even if I did, I was his mate; she was just a girlfriend, an ex-girlfriend.
“Are you okay?” He studied me, concern plastered on his face.
“Yeah, of course.” I breathed through the sharp pain.
“Don’t worry about Camilla; she’s like that with new people.” He shrugged.
“Sure.” I tried to brush it off. “I’m going to find Nolan.” I managed to push myself up despite the tangible jealousy that was radiating through me.
I walked through the hall, hoping to intercept my mate in his dad's office, Alpha Hugo's office, before he bounded off to the next thing on his packed schedule.
Everything had been a whirlwind between his birthday and us taking over the pack shortly after. We barely got to see each other.
I knew seeing him, feeling his touch, would shake this insane feeling that took root and flooded through me like hot coals. I had felt this before, but it usually wasn’t attached to jealousy; it was attached to stress sometimes when Nolan went away. I guess that was normal for mates to feel such a visceral reaction to their mate's absence.
I finally clicked where I heard of Cardens Valley. Nolan had a conference there a month ago at a park I didn’t remember the name of, or maybe he didn’t tell me. I really had to get better at remembering all of these things.
I rounded the corner in front of the dark wooden door of his father's office that would soon be his. A thumping noise sounded from the other side of the door. A growl, a loud cry, and then some muffled ones like they were being stifled.
I could feel myself blushing, Alpha Hugo and Luna Natalie weren’t overly affectionate, but they were destined mates. It was natural. I turned as quietly as I could to give them privacy.
“Nolan, Nolan.” The soft cry came again before it was replaced with muffled panting.
I froze. Every cell in my body felt charged. I swallowed as a cold sheen of sweat covered me, matching my internal icy dread. I must have heard wrong. I had to have heard wrong.
I reached out for the doorknob with shaky hands. It was unlocked, and that made my stomach dip. Did I want to see this? I opened the door a crack just to confirm that nothing was going on.
But Nolan stood before me, his back to the door.
I knew every inch of his body, the way that his muscles curled and tensed when he was, when he was with me.
I knew that meant he was close.
He was close to finishing in Camilla.

I had no clue what to do. I wanted to run and scream, but I couldn’t move. Would it be better or worse to catch them in the act?
I wanted to hear his explanation of how he could do this to me.
I wanted him to feel the guilt to help diminish my anger. I wanted him to feel the regret, to calm my betrayal. I wanted an explanation to wash away the shock and pain.
Before I could make up my mind, he turned around to pull up his pants and saw me.
They both did.
He froze and called my name; she gave me a lazy grin.
And I ran.
- - - - -
“Willa, Willa.”
He chased after me as I slammed the door behind me to our bedroom and dove under the covers.
“Willa.” He burst open the door, as my tears fell.
I couldn’t think, couldn’t process. I just felt. And everything I felt was wrong.
The bed dipped as he sat next to me and placed a hand on my back.
“I-I,” he started, “I don’t know what to say.”
I waited for him to go on. As much as I wanted to yell and scream, I wanted him to be the one that was begging for my forgiveness. I needed his explanation to make it okay.
The heavy warmth of his hand left me completely after a few silent moments.
“I’ll talk to you when you calm down.” He sighed, and I felt the bed shift again.
He wasn’t going to leave? Was he?
The sound of the door opening and closing was my answer.
The hole in my chest ripped wider, and I couldn’t breathe.
But he didn’t come back.
_ _ _ _ _
I don’t know when I fell asleep, but when I woke up, he was next to me in bed. I felt a rush of relief, but I wasn’t sure why. I just cuddled into the back of his broad back and let his strong warmth ease me back into the abyss.
_ _ _ _ _
He was up before I was. The dull thudding in my chest was threatening to rip open again. But he came back. For me.
I jumped into a shower and pulled a brush through my hair; my light green eyes seemed even brighter compared to how red-rimmed they were. I grimaced at my reflection, there was no hiding what I spent all yesterday and last night doing.
I followed the sounds of muted chatter to the breakfast room. I paused at the door, and my stomach dropped. I hurried past the open door hoping no one would notice me.
“Willa, honey?” I stopped in my tracks, trying to loosen my clenched fists.
I lingered in the doorway; there was no way I was sitting with that shameless woman.
Luna Natalie, and Camilla were looking the picture of relaxed. It was just the two of them sitting for breakfast.
“Sorry, I can’t join you.” I forced a smile, hoping it seemed genuine, “I have-”
“Oh, your appointment, yes.” Luna Natalia smiled at me.
Oh, I actually forgot I had that doctor's appointment.
I nodded and turned, not sparing a glance toward Camilla. I knew it would be my undoing. Rage crept through me, the audacity of her sitting here in my house after what she did with my mate.
I couldn’t focus on anything but my anger as I headed towards the pack clinic.
Two large hands wrapped around me, stunning me for a moment before his familiar scent enveloped me.
“Come here.” He pulled me into an empty room, locking the door behind us.
I couldn’t stop shaking. Hot tears sprung into my eyes.
“Why?” I demanded of him before he could speak.
I shook my head, and the tears streamed down my face. I didn’t wipe them away; I wanted him to see what he did.
“I, uh.” He rubbed the back of his neck; he was rarely at a loss for words. “It shouldn’t have happened like that. It shouldn’t have. I am so sorry. You don’t deserve that.” He pinned me to the spot with his chocolate-brown eyes.
My stomach doing a flip despite myself. “I want her gone,” I demanded.
“Willa,” he breathed, “I can’t.”
“You can. She can attend your party, but she is not permitted to stay here.” I mustered up the Luna voice I’d been practicing. I was assuming that’s why she was here this morning; she was staying in a guest room at the pack house.
“Okay.” He hung his head before lowering his mouth to mine.
He stopped when his lips almost met mine. My breath caught, and I was charged with desire. His kiss was reserved yet hungry, and he pulled me to him. I was enveloped in the sparks and warmth of the mate bond. I felt loose in his arms. I couldn't remember the last time he kissed me like this outside of when we were close, if ever.
He pulled back, and I put a hand to my swollen lips. The effect he still had on me made me dizzy.
“Now what?” I breathed.
He ran a hand through his dark hair. “I am sorry, I don’t even know. All of this everything that is happening, I guess I don’t feel like myself.”
Not really an explanation, but I wanted to believe him.
Willa, are you still coming to your appointment? - The doctor's voice came through my mind through the mind link.
“I have to go.” I paused, studying him. “To an appointment. We can talk later.”
He nodded, tucking a piece of my hair behind my ear, and I melted into his touch.
“I’m sorry, that wasn’t fair to you,” he whispered, and I nodded, fighting the tears that sprung again.
“I forgive you.”
The words felt wrong coming out. I didn’t know if he even asked for my forgiveness. I wanted more groveling, but even more than that, I didn’t want to lose him.
My lifetime love, that was fated to me.
This was just a mistake that we would get past. It would make us stronger and our love for each other more intense.
I could deal with the pain. There wasn’t an alternative.

- - - - -
“Well, Luna.” The middle-aged doctor, who always seemed bubbly and full of energy, sat across her desk. “Er, Willa, sorry.” She smiled at me.
I loved the title; it sent pride through me. To help protect the pack that I loved, that I grew up in alongside the man that I had always loved but never thought I could have.
The title felt binding in a way I didn't realize I needed... until yesterday.
“It’s okay, Dr. Lilian." I smiled at her. “I’ll have to get used to it soon.”
“Very soon.” She nodded, her eyes sparkling before she flipped over my charts, studying them.
Her eyes widened slightly before the smile returned to her face. “Very soon, you will be called something else.”
My brows furrowed, “What?”
“Congratulations, Luna. You’re going to be a mother.”
I was completely frozen in my seat as it sunk in.
I looked down at my stomach, letting out a laugh. I wanted this, we wanted this, and it was finally happening.
A baby, we were going to have a baby.
I rubbed my stomach. There was a baby in there.
Tears pricked my eyes for another reason now.
“Really?” I asked.
“Yes.” Her smile widened. “Only a few weeks along. I would say about five or six weeks; that's why it didn't show up yet when you were here last time; it must have happened days before," she mused, "I want you to come back next week, and we can do a proper scan, maybe with Nolan. Okay?”
I nodded; I couldn't stop my smile, even though it was starting to hurt my cheeks. “Thank you.” Joy flooded through me.
Everything was right again, better than right.
It was perfect.
- - - - -
Coming back from the clinic, I clutched the papers confirming my pregnancy close to my heart. I wanted nothing more than to tell him it would be the perfect birthday gift. Even though his birthday was tomorrow, the party was tonight, and I figured it was close enough.
Walking into the packhouse, the air was completely different from when I left. It felt charged, and people were running around. Omegas with vases and small bites of food rushed around without dropping anything.
I didn’t understand, everything was already set up, and decisions were made weeks ago.
Luna Natalie almost bumped into me, or maybe I almost bumped into her.
“Oh,” Her eyes were wide seeing me. I shoved the papers into my pocket. “We’ve had a change; I’m glad you’re here.”
That took me by surprise. She seemed to be happy to plan things herself, saying it took her far less time than when I was involved.
“What can I do?” My smile was genuine. I was happy that she needed my help.
“I’ve told the omega’s to re-do the table settings in the dining hall. They’re cleaning it again now, but I need you to oversee them, make sure that they are doing it correctly. Perfectly.” She handed me a clipboard and tapped on the color swatches attached.
“We’re changing everything?” I asked, looking down at the swatches that were completely different from what we finalized weeks ago.
“Yes, the prince is coming.” She waved a hand, dismissing me.
I held back my laugh. A prince?
“What do you mean?”
“Have you not been paying attention in your studies, Wilhelmina?” Her brown eyes slid to mine. I flinched internally at the use of my full name.
“I have, and the royal family stopped holding power a century ago,” I countered.
She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose as if I was giving her a headache.
“They don’t hold power really, yes. But he is the leader of our territory; he speaks for us. They are still powerful, naturally so, and we respect them and the bloodline they come from,” She sighed. “Alpha Dracos, the prince, has informed us he will be attending this evening. I’ve only met him once. Of course, he's invited to all of our pack events, but he either declines or sends someone on his behalf.”
I nodded, still not understanding. If he didn’t hold power over us, why bother with all the changes and, oh Goddess, the fancy china that I definitely broke a few pieces of last time.
“If you have any questions, link me; this has to be perfect.” She turned and walked away, her heels clicking on the floor.
I sighed, looking over all the changes; at least I wouldn’t have to set out the silverware, and I could just direct it. This would keep my mind away from the memory of what Camilla had done with my mate.
Anger flared again. That was in the past. The not-so-distant past, but I would focus on the future. I patted my pocket where I put the confirmation from the doctor and smiled at my flat stomach. The future, this baby, was the only thing that mattered now.
- - - - -
The afternoon both dragged on and was over before I knew it.
Dusk settled in past the tall windows of the dining room, and I yawned, cursing myself for not asking if I was allowed to drink coffee or not. I saw it a lot in movies, but I wasn’t sure how it affected us as wolves.
“Willa, what are you still doing here?” Luna Natalia slipped in, her hair and makeup perfect and done for this evening even though she had yet to change.
“I was just finishing here. We just have a few more centerpieces for the smaller tables,”
“I’ll do that; go get ready. It's going to start soon. She grabbed the clipboard from my hand, and I let her. If I left before it was done, I would have gotten in trouble. No matter what I did, it was wrong, and I’d accepted that.
I would be Luna in a few months, and I hoped the grip she had on me would lessen.
Significantly.
I hoped.

After a quick shower, I slipped on the floor-length silver dress that hugged my body perfectly. It was Nolan’s favorite color and something I went back and forth deciding on wearing. I kept a few others from the rack that Luna Natalie sent me for this event, but I wanted to be seen tonight. The straps were thin, and the back dipped down low. It seemed like it was almost too much, and I struggled with who I was and who I wanted to be.
A soft knock came on the door, and my heart thumped. I reached for the black gift box where I put the pregnancy results.
“May I come in?” A voice even more familiar than Nolan’s came from the other side, and I opened the door for my mother.
“Oh, Willa.” She looked me over. “You are stunning.”
“Come in.” I smiled at her.
“I figured you might want some help since Lola is out of town.” She offered, motioning for me to sit in front of my vanity.
Lola has been my closest friend since we met in middle school, and we've been inseparable since. Her family went on a trip every summer, and as much as I wished she was here for this, I knew how much her family vacations meant to her. She would be back in a few weeks anyway, and I would fill her in with all of my news. I smiled down at my stomach.
But Nolan would be the one I told first, even before my mom, though I wanted to scream it with each passing second.
“Thank you.” I sat down as my mom went to work on my hair while I tried to stay still and line my eyes and apply some shimmering eye shadow that matched my dress. I could never do it as well as Lola could, but tonight was about Nolan anyway; I doubted anyone would be looking at my eyeshadow.
“There.” My mom brushed out the curls she did. My hair had a slight wave to it naturally, but the soft curls added something to my look.
“One last thing.” She opened up a velvet box she held, “I know you said this was about Nolan tonight, but you’re so close to becoming the Luna. I just... your dad and I are so proud of you.”
She opened the box and took out a white gold hair comb strewn with diamonds and sapphires.
“Grandma's.” I reached out to touch it but stopped.
“Yes.” She nodded. “And now it's yours.”
I looked in the mirror as she pinned some of my curls back behind my ear with the heirloom.
“Absolutely beautiful.” She leaned her head on my shoulder before kissing the side of my head.
“Thank you.” I leaned into her touch.
“Now, we are going to be late, and we can’t have the honored guest's mate show up after it starts,” she said, sounding more like Luna Natalia than herself.
I stood up and grabbed a thin shawl from the closet. It covered my arms and the part of my back that was exposed, making this dress more comfortable for me to wear.
“I’ll see you in there.” She left to go to the dining room while I met Nolan and his parents in his dad's office.
- - - - -
“You look beautiful.” Nolan wrapped my hand around his arm. “Showing a bit too much skin for a future Luna, though,” he murmured, but it wasn’t really a compliment. It seemed like he was chastising me for a dress that I didn’t even buy for myself.
“I thought-” I didn’t even know. I thought I was playing the pretty Luna; I thought he would appreciate how I dressed up for him, but apparently, I chose wrong.
“There is a line between s.lutty and classy.” He brushed his lips across my ear, and I shuddered at the contact, drowning out the hurt and confusion I felt.
We walked into the dining room, followed by his parents. Everyone stood up and clapped for their future Alpha.
I felt the swell of pride being on his arm as we walked past the rows of round tables up to the long table for the ranked members and honored guests.
I went to sit to his right.
“Scoot down one,” he whispered.
“What?” This was always the place that I sat at.
“The prince is coming.” He pulled the chair out, and I stood, moving one down.
I reached for the glass of drink but pulled back, reminding myself that a baby was in me, our baby.
Speeches were made, and still, the space between us was empty, but he didn’t ask me to move back down next to him. I was lost in thought as everyone rose. I didn’t even notice until Luna Natalie glared at me, whispering my name.
Oh.
I stood a moment before a man sat on the seat between us. He looked at me, and I nodded politely, looking past him to where Nolan sat.
Camilla was walking up to our table, and all eyes were on her.
Including his.
The man next to me might have said something, but I didn’t hear it. All I could see was her walking up in a skin-tight black dress that flared out with each step. It was strapless, and her lips were lined in the deepest red.
She addressed the man next to me before smiling at me, her teeth pulling back over her blinding white teeth. I gave her a smirk that looked like a smile, knowing what I had laid out on the table in front of me, what was in that little black gift box that would wipe that smile from her face.
“The future Luna is a sight,” The man next to me nodded at Camilla as she passed.
“She’s not the future Luna.” I grasped my fork too tight.
“Oh, I-”
“I am.” I glared at him. His light blue eyes widened for a moment before they settled on me, studying my face.
“I meant no disrespect.”
I didn’t hear him after that; my attention turned to where Camilla leaned over the table to whisper to my mate. Nolan's eyes went wide as he pulled back, but a smile graced his lips.
What on earth was he doing? He knew how this would make me feel. I was going to link him when the stranger spoke next to me.
“I always hated these things. They seem so formal, so forced.”
“Then what would you prefer?” I asked him, not taking my eyes off Nolan.
“Something small, with people I actually enjoy being around.”
I nodded. “That sounds like a h.ell of an idea, just one not suited to ranked members and their flair for showing off. Also, what would the Lunas do then? Die from boredom, most likely,” I mused, and the man next to me laughed. It boomed, and it caught Nolan’s attention along with his mother and father.
I stared at them all with a smile on my face.
Camilla moved away from the table finally, only to come around to sit next to Nolan on his other side. People actually moved so that Nolan could pull up a chair for her.
Anger surged through me. It was a real thing that I could hold onto.
How dare she? What was Nolan thinking? I know he was being polite, but this crossed a line.
- - - - -
I scooted next to him as soon as the man left with his apologies to Nolan and his parents. After he left, most others in the room did; leaving the ranked members and a few stragglers, including my parents, behind.
Camilla smiled at Nolan so genuinely that I wanted nothing more than to wipe it off of her face. I knew that I should share this with him out of joy, but this was too perfect of an opportunity to pass up.
My spite and joy were keeping the same company this evening.
“Your gift.” I slid it to him, smiling. “I wanted to give it to you earlier, but..” I shrugged, chewing on my bottom lip.
He looked at me, curiosity evident on his face as he opened the box and pulled out the paper. My stomach filled with butterflies as he read it. I couldn’t wait for his reaction.
This is something we both wanted, but it hadn’t happened until now. It felt like perfect timing. The Moon Goddess blessed us with a baby months before we would take over the pack, ensuring the Alpha’s line.
“Willa?” He looked at me. Hurt flashed in his eyes momentarily before he locked his jaw. “I wish we could have done this privately.”
My stomach clenched. Did it matter? No one else knew; he didn’t even announce it.
“I, Nolan Hemming, future Alpha of the Blue Ridge Pack, Reject you, Willa, er Wilhelmina Balfour as my mate and future Luna.”
I didn’t understand his words, but my body did.
Pain rippled through me as I felt our bond start to snap. I couldn’t breathe. Fire sparked through me, replacing my blood.
I swear this was the end. I would die from this. My vision blurred before going black.
Angry shouts and warm, familiar hands lifted me up. My eyes blinked open as I was carried away from the table.
The last thing I saw before I drifted back into agonizing darkness was Camilla comforting my mate through his pain.

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