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Chrissy Smith

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I really miss my Drag Queens.. Im sure someone is gonna catch feelings when I say it, but Im afraid I am completely turned sideways with all the "transgendered" news these days. I never thought Queens to be so... so crybaby. I had freinds, and I saw them struggle growing up. No doubt they crybabyied hard. Forget being insulted, try having to drop out of highschool cause Oedipus Rex rednecks wanna take their circle jerking nerd rage out on your face with your teachers cheering them on. So yeah I get need for equality if not outright protection. I knew queens who were married with children. I knew Queens that hated gay men. I knew Queens that hated everybody. I knew Queens who played piano for a Baptist Church every Sunday whilst listening to hymns serenade their own damnation. BUT... If ever there was a soul that had to face the absurduty of human existance it was my drag queens and they did it in full farking chorus. When they would come out on the other end of whatever hell they had to walk through in their own mind and mirror it gave way for a natural ability to see straight into the heart of anyones deepest insecurities. And they were RUTHLESS BITCHES.
Chapelle is from my generation, He straight up was flinching and holding his breath in wait after every one of his low ball transjokes, especially in his first Specials he did for Netflix. We all thought a Queen surely had to be coming for his ass including him...and yet curiously he still runs around with his Ego fully intact and wife fully wed.
The whole bathroom debate actually baffles me to the core. Whenever we saw a Drag Queen get up to use the restroom, everyone in the party or place where she was would quickly fall in line and follow that bitch into the bathroom with her. We all used to understand that the Queens straight had the best smoke and dirt on every person in the room outside and touch up mascara that wont smear all over your face. Hell it was damn near impossible to get anyone out of the ladys room if a Queen was master of ceremonys inside. The first one to walk back out did so knowing the gossip and shit talking was flying straight for the back of her head. No one was safe. Fark around and find out. No One dare try a Queen from the planet that I am from. If ever there was a show to lift the spirits and demand that you be who you are it was an OG Drag Show. What happened to all the Drag Queens?
I remember when I saw that infinite AIDS quilt for the first time in Atlanta my Dad took me to see it. I just started weeping being so young and not understanding just how many were dead and dying. Just at the same moment, two collosal sized drag queens came careening over the event horizen and flying straight down the hill that loomed over me. A tornado of yellow feathers, glitter lipgloss and rainbow- glow -light roller skates, they whirled around, split their hands and swooped me up without ever slowing the beat. I was instantly running half tippy- toed over the asphalt as fast as I could trying to keep up fro falling flat on my face.
We went flying
down Piedmont as people had to leap out of the way to avoid getting clotheslined.
Next I am bent over and gasping for breath and calling for my father who is farther back in the crowd and to which both queens immediately began yammering vounteers to go back and retrieve,
"that fine specimen of a man" and
" Oh , I just do just love a strong father figuere." and so on. 2LIveCrew was bumping over the park, I remember thinking wherever I was I had to be underage. As they both turned to go on and completely abadon me in the crowd,
one of the worlds worst yellow feathered chaperones
on secomd thought turned back to me and gently lifted up my cheek with her sparkly gold hand .
She bellowed over the music to me a piece of advice that i will take with me everywhere I go until the day I die,
"Angel cake Never time to stand aound crying when your Freak Flag should be Flying!"
she muttered sometihing about needing a daddy of her own and vanished into the crowd.
I do miss the OG Drag Queens.

Chrissy Smith

https://www.facebook.com/april.c.smith.12/

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