| Body |
My twin brother forbade me to date any boy, but I fell for his best friend.
"Touch me," Easton demanded.
I jumped as Easton turned off the lights and pulled his hand over my lap.
"Shh, Don't let your brother know."
Our bodies were pressed together and my mouth was inches from his.
“My brother won't allow...”
Easton covered my lips and bit my bottom lip, "I approved."
I couldn't help kissing him but the lights were turned on as he pinned me in the bed.
We raised our heads at that moment and God!
My brother just stood at the door.
❤️🔥❤️🔥
We're hosting a party. Our parents are out of town for the weekend and my twin brother Ryan thought it would be the perfect opportunity to throw a drink—soaked bash.
He pretty much invited everyone from school to attend.
"Ready to go?" My best friend Sadie chirps, pulling me out of my head.
"Nope. No way. Uh uh. This shows waaaay too much skin." I stare at my reflection in the mirror, glaring at the offending scraps of material I'm currently wearing.
"You look hot," my best friend Sadie says, her dark eyes sparkling as she clutches her hands together in glee. "Let's go to the pool!"
"I can't." I'm already whining, and this isn't good, especially when I promised Sadie I would actually be social tonight.
"You can and you will," Sadie says firmly as she grabs hold of my arm and steers me toward my closed bedroom door. I try to resist, but she's stronger than she looks. "It'll be fun. I promise. All the boys will be looking at you."
She practically croons that last statement, as if it's supposed to entice me. Guess what?
It doesn't.
Having the boys look at me is a problem. Their attention makes me uneasy. Uncomfortable. Ryan may be my twin, but we are the complete opposites in almost every single way. He's popular at our private school while I'm not. He attracts all the girls, while guys barely look in my direction. He's really attractive. I'm really…
Average.
Okay, I have nice hair. It's a thick, glossy brown with natural gold highlights that become brighter in the sun. It's my best asset. If you're in to big ones, then I can deliver.
Ugh, my thoughts are so dumb sometimes.
"Ready to go?" Sadie chirps, pulling me out of my head.
I blink at her, surprised to see we're standing directly in front of my bedroom door, her hand curved around the handle. "I'm not ready yet."
Her shoulders slump a little, but she's not defeated yet. "I hear Easton is already out there."
Okay, that perks me right up. "Did he bring a girl?"
"I don't think so." Sadie smiles brightly and opens my bedroom door. "Come on, let's go!"
I let her drag me down the hall. Down the stairs. Into the kitchen, which is packed with all sorts of people I vaguely recognize from school. Not a one of them says anything to me, and it's my house.
Frustrating.
We go outside, where there are even more people. Music is playing loudly over the portable speaker Ryan got for Christmas last year. It's small but powerful, and the heavy base seems to throb in time with my heartbeat. There are so many people in our small pool, I'm not sure how they all fit. Others are crowded around the sides, dipping their feet in the water or sitting in one of the chairs that surrounds the small glass topped table with a giant crack in it.
Easton is sitting at the head of the table like a king surveying his court. He's the most popular boy in our class—in the entire school. He's gorgeous and rich and built like a god. Tall and broad with a powerful chest and six pack abs. Long legs and powerful thighs. He's currently got all of it on display as he sits there in a pair of dark blue swim trunks and nothing else, clutching a beer bottle in his hand as he glowers at everyone.
"There's your boy," Sadie whispers as we both watch him.
It's difficult not to stare at him. That chiseled face with the strong nose and sharp cheekbones, it's all lines with those cold, glacier blue eyes, offset only by his soft, lush mouth.
An utterly kissable mouth.
A sigh leaves me as I stare at it. His lower lip is much thicker than his upper lip, which is shaped in the perfect cupid's bow. Those lips are pink and full and he's currently licking them.
I move my gaze away from the perfection that is his mouth and glare at my best friend. "He's not my boy," I remind her.
"He's no one's," Sadie readily agrees. "But I'm sure once he sees you in that top, he'll be dying to get his hands on you."
A shiver rolls through me at the thought of Easton putting those big, rough hands on my body and I try to ignore it. "He doesn't know I exist."
Sadie snorts. "Liar. You're his best friend's sister."
"He never talks to me." In his world, I'm no one. He's only interested in blondes, while I have dark hair. Popular girls who demand attention while I'm just…boring.
The smart girl. The one who likes to read. The one who cringes when she's called on in class, even though she always knows the answer. The nerd. The one with only a couple of friends. The one who's…
Madly in love with Easton.
Sometimes I wish I could punch myself in the face.
"He'd talk to your body." At my incredulous look, Sadie bursts into laughter. "What? It's true! Look at you!"
I glance down at myself, wishing I'd worn a coverup. At the very least, a T—shirt. Everything is on display and while no one is paying us any attention, if Sadie keeps laughing like that, someone's going to notice.
"Sadie! Gimme a beer!"
This comes from my brother Ryan, who knows my friend has a tiny crush on him and will do whatever he says without protest.
Pig.
True to form, she perks right up, her body practically vibrating with excitement. "Coming right up!"
She dashes off before I can say a word, leaving me alone. Just standing there. Feeling awkward.
What else is new?
Ryan's gaze goes to mine, a frown forming on his face. "What are you wearing, Harp?"
I shoot daggers at him with my eyes, but it's like he doesn't even notice. All of his friends laugh, barely looking at me. Save for one.
Easton.
His eyes rake over me, making gooseflesh rise. He's checking me out.
Oh my God, Easton actually notices me.
Chapter 2
Easton's POV
What is my best friend's twin wearing?
The bikini is a deep, dark green, which stands out against her smooth, olive skin. The girl has a lot of it. Acres and acres of it. The triangle top barely covers her body. They're huge.
Her brown eyes are wide and unblinking. She reminds me of an animal in the forest. The look on their face when they're caught.
Right before you shoot it.
Unable to help myself, I raise a brow, never looking away from her. She's so good.
Like, I'd done her a lot.
"Get some clothes on!" Ryan yells viciously at his sister, making her startle.
Like a scared little deer, she darts off, running back into the house. My gaze drops to her just as she opens the back door. Her curves are round. A perfect handful. I could scoop her up and pull her to me, no problem.
"What on earth is she thinking, wearing something like that?" Ryan mutters under his breath. He's very protective of his twin, though I always figured that was because she's so skittish all the time. As if she's afraid of her own shadow.
Maybe it's because deep down he knows his sister is beautiful and he hangs out with a bunch of disgusting guys who'd love to get her alone.
"Your sister is looking good," says Blake with a leer, the most disgusting one of our group. He's currently proving my point.
"Don't you even think about her," Ryan says, his voice dark, his expression thunderous. "She's too good for you. For all of you."
He says this to the entire table, including me.
"Not my type," I say, leaning back in the chair and spreading my legs wider as I gaze out at the pool. I can feel Ryan watching me for a beat too long, but I refuse to look at him. Or say anything.
If he's worried about me trying to get with his sister, he needs to chill. She doesn't interest me. You see one body, you've seen them all.
She's nothing.
A nobody.
The tension leaves Ryan pretty rapidly once his sister disappears and soon, we're all talking and doing round after round of shots. We've moved on from the beer to cheap teqila because Ryan's family doesn't have a ton of money, so I toss it back without complaint. I'll end up with a killer hangover tomorrow, but it'll be worth it.
Anything to help me forget. At least for a few hours.
The drink doesn't help lighten my mood. Lately nothing does. The pressure at home is mounting, and I can't escape it. My father's words are always in my head, lingering long after he leaves for yet another business trip. He wants me to come work with him. Immediately after I graduate high school.
That is the last thing I want to do.
To forget about dear old dad and his demands, I consume more. I grab the bottle and drink straight from it while my friends cheer me on. Girls approach our table, their gazes finding mine, the sultry expressions telling me everything they're feeling without saying a word.
They want me. They'd willingly go anywhere with me. They know how I operate and they're hoping they're next. The chosen one for the night.
Despite them all being gorgeous, with bodies on full display, not one of them interests me. The only thing I plan on holding tonight is a bottle.
"Hey, you drank it all," Blake gripes when he snatches the tequila out of my hands. "Sure hope you've got more where that came from, Ryan."
"I do," Ryan says, leaping to his feet, wobbling a little to the side. That one girl who's always doing what she wants, Sadie what's her name, comes rushing over, like she's going to rescue him.
Pathetic.
"In the house."
"I'll go get it," Sadie offers.
"No." I rise to my feet, feeling the need to get away for a little bit. "I'll grab it. Where do you keep the drink in your house, Ry?"
"Top shelf in the back corner of our pantry. You can't miss it!" Ryan shouts.
I head for the house, my gaze taking it in. They live in an older neighborhood, one that's seen better days. The exterior of their two—story house could use a fresh new coat of paint. The roof looks in bad shape too. It's not bad, it's just old.
But the twins don't come from money. We all know this. They attend Washington High on a district transfer, their parents wanting them to have a better education, I guess. The rest of us come from mega rich families who don't have to worry about anything.
At least, that's what we look like. But even rich people have problems.
Big ones.
A girl stops me just as I approach the back door, talking to me nonstop as she shifts closer and closer to me. She smells like heavy, expensive perfume. She's wearing a string top that barely covers her crotch and I'm afraid if she makes one wrong move, I'll see all the goods.
And where's the fun in that? I like a little mystery with my encounters. Girls who act coy. Like they have no idea what I'm about, though of course, they know everything about me. They played and they protest and then, always, they give in. Making me feel like the man.
Frowning, I concentrate on her moving lips, but I don't hear a word she says. I'm kind of over that scene. The fluttering damsel in distress type who's helpless unless a big, strong man—me—comes along. It's all an act, one I'm bored with. Maybe I need a challenge.
Maybe I need to change things up.
I glance toward the small window that's closest to where we're standing, frowning. The window is cracked open, barely a sliver, and I swear to God, it feels like someone is watching me. I squint into the near darkness, trying to make out a face, but I see nothing.
Must be a figment of my imagination.
"Want to take off?" the girl asks, knocking me from my thoughts.
I blink her back into focus, taking her in. Dark blonde hair that hangs to about her shoulders. Pretty, bland face. The requisite blue eyes, thick eyelashes and pouty lips. Her golden skin has a slick sheen that I'm afraid might be oily to the touch.
"Yeah, I don't think so. I'm staying around here tonight," I tell her.
Her expression shifts and changes. No more easygoing, let's get out of here for me. Now she's scowling with thin lips and flared nostrils. "Your loss," she says, flipping her hair over her shoulder before she flounces off.
I watch her go, irritation settling in my veins. Irritated more with myself than her. Why couldn't I just take off with her? What's my problem?
I need a drink. That'll solve all my issues.
I head into the house, taking in the kitchen full of people, most of them I recognize. They say hi as I walk past and I mumble a greeting in return, searching the small pantry until I find my prize.
A giant bottle.
I head for the bathroom, knocking on the closed door in warning before I try the handle. It opens with ease.
Just before the lights go out.
Chapter 3
Harper's POV
I'm staring out the small bathroom window like a complete peeper, watching Easton.
Always with my eyes on Easton.
He's drinking a lot tonight, and he doesn't seem happy. There's pain etched in his features, shading his eyes. There's no smile on that perfect mouth, and he's greedy with the bottle, not willing to share it. I watch as he tips it back, his throat moving as he swallows, and I'm fascinated.
Who knew drinking could be so gorgeous?
Ryan talks to Sadie. I'm sure he's asking her to do something for him. He's so awful to her. I tell her over and over again she's wasting her time, but she won't listen to me. Guess that'll be a lesson she has to learn for herself.
It's not Sadie who runs the errand for my brother though. It's Easton who rises from his chair, his tall, powerful frame moving with ease as he makes his way toward our crappy little house. Wincing, I consider making a run for it so I can hide out in my bedroom, but it's like I can't move.
My gaze is fixed on him.
He pauses right in front of the window I'm standing in front of, and I've never been more grateful for the opaque glass that makes it so no one can see through it from the outside. He won't be able to see me, thank goodness.
But I can see him.
Up close, he's even more gorgeous. Tanned skin stretches over bulging muscles. His chest is smooth, his pecs developed and those six pack abs are utterly lickable. The thought alone makes me blush, because I can't imagine putting my tongue anywhere on Easton's body—
Wait a minute. That's strange. I can imagine putting my tongue everywhere on Easton's body, and I bet he'd enjoy every second of it. I know I would.
Withholding the sigh that wants to escape, I watch as he chats with a pretty girl who's a year younger than us. She's barely dressed in that black string bkn she's got on, and she's thrusting her chest out toward Easton as if silently demanding he look at it. There's not even a flicker of interest on his face and I can tell she's disappointed. To the point that she leaves in a huff, and he enters the house.
Oh God. He's coming in my house.
My brother may be Easton's best friend, but he never comes over here. More like Ryan is always over at Easton's house. One of our parents is usually always here, and considering we're not one of the rich kids like everyone else, we don't like having a lot of people over. Though my friends do come over on occasion.
Never Ryan's though. It's as if he's completely ashamed of the place. I guess I can't blame him.
I contemplate leaving the bathroom so I can dart upstairs, but what if Easton catches sight of me? I'd rather wait it out here first. No way is he coming into the bathroom. No one has tried coming in for the last five minutes. People might not even know this bathroom exists—
There's a knock on the door and a gasp escapes me. I keep my gaze fixed on the yard outside, gripping the edge of the windowsill before I dare to turn around. The door opens at the exact same moment as I turn, and I wait in breathless anticipation to see who it is just before the lights go out.
I blink into the darkness. What? Why would they flick off the lights?
The door shuts, but I know I'm not alone. I can sense someone is in the room with me. There's a quiet snicking sound. The turn of a lock. Something heavy is set on the bathroom counter.
Suddenly, I can smell him. Men's cologne. Warm, masculine skin.
A boy is in the bathroom.
But who?
There's screaming outside and I'm about to turn back toward the window so I can see what's going on when he speaks.
"Did the power go out?"
A chill runs down my spine. I know that voice. God!
It's Easton.
Clearing my throat, I say, "It must've."
He says nothing.
Neither do I.
Nerves making me shaky, I turn back toward the window and push it open further, staring outside. The backyard is in complete darkness, even the pool lights are off, confirming that yes, we're having a power outage. I'm about to share that fact when I feel Easton looming behind me, his warm body drawing closer.
Until it's pressed directly against mine, his front to my back.
"Are you the little spy who was watching me in the window?" he asks, his head terribly close to mine. So close, I can feel the huff of his breath against my cheek when he speaks.
"I don't know what you're talking about," I say primly.
"Mmm hmm." He presses his body into mine and I reach for the windowsill, holding on tight. I can feel every inch of him mold against me, and I wonder if he knows who I am.
Or if he just does this sort of thing to random girls in the dark.
I don't care. It feels too good to tell him to stop. Like all of my dreams coming true. And when he reaches around me, his strong arms boxing me in, his hands settling on the windowsill beside mine, I feel as if I've died and gone to heaven.
"I wasn't spying on you," I tell him, hating how my voice trembles.
"But you were watching me," he says. "You have the unfair advantage, you know."
I close my eyes when I feel his face nuzzle my neck. What in the world? "How's that?"
I don't even know how I was able to ask that question just now, and sound so normal.
"You know who I am." His mouth moves against my neck and I grip the windowsill even tighter. "And I don't know who you are."
"You know me," I tell him, smiling.
What I had never done before.
"Hmm." He shifts closer, his hands leaving the window to settle on my body. Whoa. "I know you're not wearing much."
"It's a pool party," I protest.
He runs his hands up my sides, achingly slow. "I know you've got smooth skin."
I say nothing in response. I'm too attuned to the way he's touching me, how he moves behind me. The heat from his chest, the chill of his still damp swim trunks. With the lights out, I can focus on him and nothing else. He's making my head spin.
"You going to tell me your name?" he whispers, his fingers back at my body, toying with the ties on my bkini bottoms. One quick flick and he'd have them undone.
I slowly shake my head, afraid to ruin it when he finds out who I am.
"Guess I'll have to figure out who you are in other ways." His hands tighten on my hps, slowly forcing me to turn.
And face him.
Chapter 4
Easton
I'll kiss this girl and figure out who she is. I've kissed pretty much every girl worth kissing in our class, yet I don't recognize her voice.
She could be disguising it though. Trying to trick me. Plus, I'm a little drunk.
I know this girl. I have to.
Her skin is like silk. Soft to the touch. Her fragrance is intoxicating. I keep breathing it in deep, letting the delicate floral scent fill my senses. Not too sweet. A hint of sexy.
She's all curves. Her tiny waist is the perfect ratio.
But I'm not going to date this girl in a dark bathroom. I don't even know who she is.
I'll kiss her though. I'm not above that.
"Wait a minute." She braces her hands on my chest the moment she's facing me, and her touch is like a brand. Hot fingertips press into my pecs, making me shiver, and no girl makes me shiver. "What are you doing?"
"Shh." My fingers brush against her chest by accident as I reach for her neck. I need to ease her into this. "Tell me your name."
A shuddery breath leaves her, but otherwise, she says nothing.
Okay, mystery girl.
I curve my fingers around the side of her neck and tip her head back. Leaning in, I hover my face above hers, my eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness, barely able to make out her features. Big, dark eyes watch me in return. Pert nose. Plump lips part.
Dipping my head, I brush my mouth against hers.
It's as if my entire body comes to life at first contact of our lips. A jolt passes from her into me, electrifying my blood, my skin. The tiny hairs on my arms stand on end as I pull her into me, that curvy body nestling against mine as I deepen the kiss.
She parts her lips eagerly. It's a shy swipe. Tentative. Unsure.
I'm her first. I still don't who this girl is, but she tastes like heaven.
She's sweet. So sweet. I chase after it, wanting more.
More, more, more.
We cling to each other, our accelerated breaths the only sound in the room. She whimpers when I sink my teeth into her lower lip.
"Oh God," she whispers when I break the kiss to run my lips down her neck.
"Who are you?" I ask as I nip and lick at her sensitive skin, making her tremble.
I return my mouth to hers, consuming her once more.
Not yet, I tell myself. I can't push too fast. This girl isn't like that. She's eager, but a novice.
I'll teach her everything I know.
My hand slides down her back, resting at the base of her spin.
I slip my fingers beneath the fabric, touching soft, soft skin. I dare to go further.
Will she let me?
She breaks the kiss, her breathing ragged, her face still turned toward mine."You're bad for me," I tell her.
"Why?" I can hear the confusion in that one single word.
"Once I start with you, I won't be able to stop." I kiss her, our lips clinging. "Ever." Another kiss. "You're addicting." I nibble at her bottom lip. "Tell me your name."
"Isn't it more fun when you don't know who I am?" she asks, sounding amused.
"No," I growl before I deliver a brutal kiss. One that shows her how much I want her. How much I could unleash on her, though I won't. She trembles in my arms yet returns the kiss with equal hunger, as if she can't get enough of me.
As if she's my perfect match.
There's a pounding on the bathroom door and I lift my head, glaring in its direction. I'd had the forethought to lock the door when I slipped inside, right as the lights shut off, and the handle rattles, as if they're trying to get in.
"Someone in there?"
Oh. It's Ryan.
Clearing my throat, I yell, "Occupied!"
Ryan's quiet for a moment, just before he starts to laugh. "My bad, buddy. Hope you're having fun in there."
He's gone before I can say another word.
The hot little bundle in my arms is suddenly squirming, as if she's desperate to get away from me. I let her go, my arms dropping to my sides and she's gone, pressing her body against the door, though the room is so small she's still within arm's reach.
"You should go," she demands, her voice firm, yet still shaky.
A laugh escapes me. "Really? You're kicking me out now? I can't see where I'm going."
"You can see enough."
"Maybe I don't want to leave." I reach for her, but she dodges away from my seeking hands. "Come on. Two seconds ago you were grinding your hot little body all over me."
"You think my body is hot?" She sounds shocked.
"You're on fire." I reach for her again, and I pull her in close, thrusting my torso against hers. "See what you do to me?"
Chapter 5
Harper
I can definitely see what I have done to him.
Oh my God, he is huge.
Massive.
I'll never be able to handle it.
If I ever even get the chance to have it.
The way the boy kisses…it's as if I've died and I'm floating on a white, fluffy cloud, only brought to life by his persuasive lips and delicious tongue.
I'm practically a pile of sweaty goo on our bathroom floor.
What I just experienced was freaking amazing, and it was merely a simple kissing session.
But I don't care that he doesn't want to leave, he needs to. Someone else could come knocking on the door or the lights could turn on at any second. What would happen then? Would Easton still feel the same way if he saw who I was? Would he freak out that he's been making out with his best friend's sister?
I don't know.
I also don't want to take the chance of finding out.
I want to remember this night just like this, with my skin on fire and lips stinging and swollen and the memory of him telling me how hot my body is.
"Easton …" I start, finding his waist, touching his chiseled muscles.
No, Harper.
This has to end.
Now.
"Easton," I attempt again, "you really have to go," I reinforce, leading him in the dark toward the door.
His fingers graze my chin. "You're going to miss my mouth."
He's right about that.
I suck in some air, giving myself the courage to jumble with the lock, twisting it vertically, the handle releasing as I pull it open.
"Not even a good—bye kiss?" he asks from the doorway.
One more and I won't have the strength to push him away. I'll tug him right back inside and let him untie every string of my suit.
"You already know what my lips taste like," I say softly, touching them with my free hand. "Now, you can dream about them."
I gently guide him through the threshold and lock the door, sagging my body against it. I take a big, fortifying breath, the quivers leaping in my chest, the tingles exploding in my stomach.
Did that really just happen?
I'm running my fingers over my lips, reminiscing about the way Easton's had felt when the lights turn on, the brightness so jarring, I cover my eyes.
I can't believe my luck. If this had happened seconds before, everything would be different. He would know it's me.
But I'm all alone in here and our kiss is my secret.
I smile, staring at my reflection in the mirror. I'm a mess. My cheeks and chest are flushed a deep pink. My eyes are sparkling. My hair is in chaos from his hands.
My skin grows warmer at the words lingering in my brain.
His words. His hands.
All over me.
There's a knock on the door and I'm nervous that Easton's returned.
"Who is it?" I ask.
"It's Sadie, silly, let me in."
There's a frown on her pretty face the moment the door is open. "What happened to you?"
"What do you mean?" I ask, wondering if she can tell what Easton and I just did.
"The lights go out and you disappeared! I had no idea where you were," she chastises, scooting her way inside and shutting the door. "Are you all right?"
"I'm fine." I smile, trying to hide my jittery nerves.
"You look all flushed." She waves a hand toward my chest. "Your skin is splotchy." Her gaze catches on the vodka bottle Easton must've left behind. "Ooh, check it out! Jackpot!"
"Come on." I open the door once again and we exit together, Sadie clutching the vodka bottle. "Why did the power turn off? Do you know?"
"I guess the entire block went out. I was outside when it happened, and all the houses around us had no lights either. So weird."
"I hid out in the bathroom the whole time," I tell her, not about to reveal the kiss with Easton. Not yet.
I want to savor it—try to recall everything he did and said. Relive it, moment by moment. Then I'll tell her.
Maybe.
"Lame," she teases, nudging me with her elbow. "Too bad you weren't locked in the dark with a hot boy!"
She's so close to the truth, it's scary. "Ha ha, I wish."
We pass through the crowded kitchen to head back outside, Sadie chatting a mile a minute while I don't say a thing. My mind is still in a daze thanks to Easton and his magical lips.
"Boys are staring at you," Sadie whispers.
I shrug. "So? It's just a bikini."
Sadie watches me in wonder. "Wow, the lights go out for a few minutes, and you're completely transformed. I love your new attitude!"
"I shouldn't be ashamed of my body," I say, glancing down at myself, seeing it in a whole new light.
This body just had Easton's hands all over it. He even touched me in forbidden places. And I let him. I wanted it.
I wanted him.
My gaze wanders around the back yard, searching for him, but he's nowhere to be found.
Did he leave? Where did he go?
"No, you absolutely should not be ashamed," Sadie reaffirms. "Show them how gorgeous you are, Harper!"
I love how encouraging my friend is. She's the best.
Sadie grabs my hand, dragging me toward the table where my brother and his friends are still sitting, save for Easton. Disappointment crashes over me and I put on a smile, trying to fake it as the boys start talking to us.
Mostly me.
And when Ryan realizes his friends are giving me attention, his gaze lands on me, his lip curling in disgust. "You need to cover up," he says like the protective, older than me by two minutes big brother that he is.
I waive a hand around the pool. "No one else is covered up."
"You still should."
"I don't want to."
"I say you should."
"Ryan," Sadie interjects. "Leave her alone."
He glowers at Sadie, but otherwise doesn't say another word.
Hmm. I should ask for her support more often.
I can feel someone behind me, like an alarm going off, but the buzzing is only inside my body. Each nerve flickering like Easton's hands are caressing it. I become still, carefully glancing over my shoulder.
Before I even see his gorgeous face, I know.
It's Easton.
Staring at me with a look of such disgust, I can feel my heart shrivel up in fear.
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