| Body |
"You've got to be kidding me. You told my sister I was just intercourse."
"I said that because she was feeling bad."
"And what about my feelings?"
"No one told you to eavesdrop," he retorted pleasantly. "You did that to yourself. You didn't have to bring my wallet over. You did that because you wanted to interfere in my relationship with Sabine, disrupt it. You were, as always, being selfish when it comes to Sabine."
June took a few steps to get up on the porch to stand next to me. "Say what?"
I placed a hand on her shoulder to keep her from going off half-manhooded at Callum.
"This is between my girlfriend and me." Callum didn't look fazed by her at all. I hated how unaffected he was.
"Ex-girlfriend," Titus cut in from where he stood at the gate. "She's your ex now, prick. And for the record, she's the most selfless girl I know—so don't you dare call her selfish."
____________
Fleur
"It's casual between us. Trust me, you need me; I'm here for you," Callum said as I stood outside Sabine's bedroom.
Sabine was crying. "But...she's living with you, Call."
"It's temporary."
My heart clenched.
"I love seeing you here with me, Grian. Love seeing your things mixed with mine."
He had started calling me Grian since that first night we had intercourse. When I asked him, he'd been surprised that he'd addressed me in Gaelic. Grian meant sunshine, and it warmed me all the way deep inside, where there had been nothing but cold.
"You sure about this, Call?" I was nervous about moving in with my boyfriend of eight months. It felt right to me, but he could be so closed off at times that I'd been surprised when he asked me to live with him. It was the right next step. He had never told me he loved me, but I assumed he did. I'd loved him since Sabine brought him home four years ago. He was her boyfriend's older brother—and my little heart had gone and fallen for him.
When he finally noticed me, and we began dating, it had been...magical.
The magic show is over, Fleur, I thought, when Callum continued to break my heart.
"You're having intercourse with my sister," Sabine accused.
"It's just intercourse, Sabine. I have a lot of it with many women." He sounded so calm and patient when he spoke.
"I can't take it, Call. It hurts so much. I...have nothing."
I stepped into the doorway and saw Sabine in Callum's arms. He was stroking her back, pecking her hair, and murmuring to her.
He heard me and looked up to see me. Regret flashed in his eyes, but he didn't let go of Sabine. I held up his wallet. He'd forgotten it at the restaurant where we were celebrating my twenty-sixth birthday. I was worried about him driving without his license.
I quietly set the wallet down on Sabine's dresser and walked out of her house—my grandparents' house, the home where I had happy memories. They'd promised it to me, but when Seamus, her husband and Callum's brother died, Sabine had asked to stay where she felt safe. Naturally, my parents had asked me to move out.
I understood. I really did. She and Seamus had been in love. Their wedding had been the event of the year in New Orleans. She had been pregnant when he died in an accident. She lost the baby. Since then, Callum had been taking care of his brother's widow.
But it had been two years. When would it be my turn to be taken care of? How long would I have to live in Sabine's shadow?
I asked the Uber driver to take me to Callum's house on Royal Street that I had moved into a week ago. Thankfully, most of my stuff was still in boxes. I hadn't moved much, just clothes, books, and a few sentimental belongings. Callum's large house was fully furnished.
I called June, my friend who worked at Peychaud's, a popular bar in the Quarter. "I need you, Titus, and his truck."
"You movin' out?"
"Yeah."
"We'll be at Hotshot's place in fifteen."
The thing with good friends was that you didn't have to explain. They knew. June had never said outright that dating Callum was a bad idea when he was running to take care of Sabine every time she broke a nail, but the heart wanted what it wanted. No problem with that now. My now broken heart just wanted a few Sazeracs.
We were in the middle of loading up my things onto Titus's truck when Callum came home. He manhooded an eyebrow when he saw me hand my suitcase over to Titus. The big suitcase looked small in my friend's hands. He was a big man who worked as a bouncer at the bar June worked at; the same one I used to work in to pay for school because if I was going to beg my parents to give me money. They'd been clear: law school or you get nothing. My acquiring a degree in computer science had been scoffed at.
The joke was on them. Now, I was a lead programmer at one of the top security software companies in the world. Since my company had several contracts from the Department of Defense, I had a high-security clearance and a good salary.
Thankfully, I hadn't yet submitted paperwork on my changing domicile and getting a partner. My apartment in the Marigny was still mine. I hadn't told Callum, but I wouldn't be giving it up because my "secure" office was there. To live-live with Callum, he and I would need to talk about my work, and he'd have to go through some kind of security clearance—and we'd have to outfit one of his guestrooms as my office. That was a major commitment for me. I was wise to be cautious. Less than a week after moving in with Callum, I was already heading back to my own place.
"You didn't think we deserved a conversation before you did this?" Callum asked pointedly.
It tore at me that he didn't look upset. No, he looked like he was expecting this. He even looked relieved. He was in a pair of linen pants and a shirt. He was usually in a suit and tie, appropriate for the man who ran one of the largest sports investment companies in the country. Seamus and Callum made quite a pair when they were both in their power suits. But Seamus had been the less serious brother—more playful, easy, casual. Maybe that's why he and I had become friends so easily.
I smiled tightly at Callum and nodded at June and Titus, who were waiting for me. "After your conversation with Sabine, do you think we need to?"
I was going to miss this man. I was going to miss making love with him. I was going to miss eating breakfast with him. I was going to miss talking with him. Laughing with him.
"I think so."
"Okay. Talk," I challenged him.
"I was comforting her. It's hard for her to lose me."
I folded my arms to protect myself. "Lose you?"
"She's family, Fleur. She's Seamus's wife. She's—"
"Priority," I nodded. "I get it. You've told me that several times. But when you asked me to move in, I thought we were more than just two people fuckin', Callum."
"We are." He leaned against his doorway. His stance was easy, but his eyes were hard, angry.
"I heard what you said to her. You said my moving in was temporary."
He shrugged. "So?"
"So, that's not what you told me when you asked me to move in, Callum. You spent a month convincing me to."
"Maybe we rushed into the living together part," he conceded, and my blood ran cold. I never meant a lot to him. That was clear.
"Well, then, it's a good thing I'm all moved out." I waved a hand at his place. I was on the iron lace porch while he stood in his doorway, larger than life. My love, my heart, my man. But he wasn't mine. He never had been. I'd been living in a fool's paradise.
"Maybe." He straightened. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Why?"
He looked confused. "Fleur, you're moving out, I get that, but that doesn't mean we're breaking up."
He sounded so sure of himself, so confident, that I burst out laughing. It wasn't a happy sound. "You've got to be kidding me. You told my sister I was just intercourse."
"I said that because she was feeling bad."
"And what about my feelings?"
"No one told you to eavesdrop," he retorted pleasantly. "You did that to yourself. You didn't have to bring my wallet over. You did that because you wanted to interfere in my relationship with Sabine, disrupt it. You were, as always, being selfish when it comes to Sabine."
June took a few steps to get up on the porch to stand next to me. "Say what?"
I placed a hand on her shoulder to keep her from going off half-manhooded at Callum.
"This is between my girlfriend and me." Callum didn't look fazed by her at all. I hated how unaffected he was.
"Ex-girlfriend," Titus cut in from where he stood at the gate. "She's your ex now, prick. And for the record, she's the most selfless girl I know—so don't you dare call her selfish."
If Titus thought he could intimidate Callum, well, tough sh-it.
"We'll talk when you're not so emotional," Callum sighed, as if I were a spoiled child who he wanted to help get over a tantrum.
"No," I said quietly. "This is done. Goodbye."
I turned around with as much grace as I could muster, even though what I really wanted was to accept his terms, take the crumbs he offered, and keep him any way I could. But after eight months of being with him and still feeling unimportant, I was completely wrung out.
"Sabine is your sister. How can you begrudge her my friendship and loyalty?" he demanded, his nostrils flaring. He was finally getting worked up, but on behalf of Sabine, not because I was leaving.
"I don't, which is why I'm leaving," I pointed out. "Now, she doesn't have to worry about losing you."
"You're being so childish." He shook his head as if disgusted. "Sabine is right...your parents, too. You're just too self-involved and immature for an adult relationship. Well, babe, go running back to your sad little life where you spend your days in a house you need your parents to help you afford; working a terrible job that pays all."
Titus and June both gaped at him. I had no idea why Callum thought I didn't make good money. I made high six figures. Probably something my parents or Sabine told him. I had a degree in Computer Science Engineering from Tulane, and I climbed the corporate ladder fast because of my programming and leadership skills. The company had even paid me to get my master's in computer science specializing in AI from MIT.
I was one of the youngest senior directors in my company. But Callum didn't seem to have paid attention to my life when we were together. I couldn't tell him a whole lot about my job because of my security clearance, but I'd hoped he'd thought that I was successful in my own right.
"What the heck, Fleur?" June asked, baffled.
I shrugged. "Doesn't matter."
I walked away then, not turning to see him one last time. He'd finally said and done things that killed every last feeling of hope I had for us to make it as a couple. It was time to move on, not just from Callum but my family as well. I needed to surround myself with people who saw me and not the version of me that Sabine painted. I would not mourn the end of this relationship but take it as a lesson for the future. When people show you who they are, believe them—and know they won't change. They can't.
Callum
My house felt empty without Fleur. She'd been here a week and had taken it over with bright flowers and her light. Now, it felt like it always had. Quiet, clean, modern, and somehow more oppressive than before. She'd packed away her colorful rugs and throws. She'd left a vase with flowers, which now looked forlorn on the steel and glass coffee table.
She'd not put her art up—colorful Parisian café prints—but they'd been leaning against my walls, cheering the place up. They were a stark contrast to the expensive original art that hung, which was mostly landscapes; the colors being beige, blue, and black.
The moment I saw her at Sabine's, I knew it was over. I had hoped it wouldn't be, but I knew. Fleur never liked Sabine, and it had always rankled me. Sabine was quiet, sophisticated, gentle...frail. Everything Fleur wasn't. Sabine was elegant, while Fleur was the girl next door. Sabine spoke softly and never cursed, while Fleur, well, she had a sailor's mouth. Compared to Sabine and her parents, Fleur definitely seemed like the baby who was switched at birth.
I sat down and poured myself a finger of whiskey.
The truth was that I always saw myself with a woman like Sabine. If she wasn't Seamus's widow, I think she and I could have a romantic relationship.
My attraction to Fleur had been unexpected. Oh, she made eyes at me; she had been since Sabine and Seamus started dating four years ago. It still hurt to think about my brother. He'd gotten into his convertible one day and...after two years, I still waited for him to show up and talk about last night's game.
Sabine and he dated for a year before being married for another. They were so in love. It had been a tragedy for her to lose him, for him to lose his beautiful and happy marriage when he'd tasted it for such a short time. And the shock of losing him had driven Sabine to such despair that she'd lost their baby. A piece of Seamus that would have been a balm to my family and me.
I adored Sabine for how she loved Seamus. How good she was to him. I loved her because she was family. I admired her for her grace and elegance, her smarts, and her success as a lawyer. We had always been friendly, but we'd become close after Seamus passed.
I wondered what my brother would've thought about my relationship with Fleur. He'd told me he liked her, but never spent much time with her—because it bothered Sabine.
"Sabine thinks her sister is hitting on me, which she isn't. Fleur is a sweetheart," Seamus told me once when we were having lunch on a Saturday at Paillard in the Marigny. Seamus had just proposed to Sabine, and he was happier than any man had a right to be.
"According to Brian, she's a bit selfish, doing her own thing, not particularly family oriented," I said as I perused the menu. I always thought that Fleur had a crush on me. She wasn't my type; she was too plain and nerdy, but it surprised me that she was also trying to get with my brother. Christ! Poor Sabine had one terrible sister.
Seamus snorted. "They have a problem with her not being a lawyer. But she's her own person; why does she have to be like them?"
"Maybe she isn't smart enough to be a lawyer," I mused.
Seamus arched an eyebrow. "You know she has a bachelor's in computer science engineering at Tulane. And she paid for it on her own 'cause Brian and Lenora would only pay for her school if she studied law."
"That's their call." I saw no problem with parents withholding their money from their children. Brian and Lenora came from the upper middle class and, with their law firm, had become considerably wealthy.
"It's petty," Seamus said.
"You're pretty defensive about her, no wonder Sabine doesn't want you spending time with her."
He laughed. "Fleur and I are friendly. I pay attention, that's all. Sabine and Fleur are very different people. She dresses like a tomboy and swears like a sailor, and her family believes her friends are not appropriate. But just because Fleur is not like Sabine doesn't mean there's anything wrong with her."
"She's definitely not in Sabine's league," I agreed.
"Is anyone?" Seamus's eyes twinkled. He was a man in love, and having spent time with his fiancée, I understood.
I always thought my brother was lucky to have married someone like Sabine. She'd been the ideal Mrs. Gallagher, even though my parents were cool towards her. I liked Sabine, not as much as Seamus though.
I'd never expected to be attracted to Fleur, though—but it happened and was like a sledgehammer in my gut.
It was after Mardi Gras when I was with some clients at Maison on Frenchmen's Street, and Fleur was there as well. She was friends with the drummer of the jazz band playing that night.
I hadn't seen her for a long while, and the woman in front of me looked nothing like a tomboy.
Fleur wasn't tall like Sabine, who was five feet nine inches and model beautiful.
Fleur was around five feet four or five. Not petite; not tall. She had a woman's body—clearly visible in the long black dress she wore that covered literally every inch of her. The dress cupped her body, and when I saw her hip, I felt my manhood twitch. That hip was made for intercourse!
She wore boots underneath the dress. The femininity of the outfit and the ruggedness of her footwear contrasted drastically—emphasizing her layered personality.
Once my clients left, I went and sat at the bar next to her. We'd seen each other earlier and waved to one another. She hadn't come by the table, and I hadn't sought her out either. But now, I felt drawn.
"How are you?" I asked after telling the bartender I'd have a shot of Jameson, neat.
"Good." She had a bright and broad smile. Her face was not sophisticated like Sabine's. It was happy. Her cheeks were rosy pink and healthy. Her lips were glossy and bright. Her eyes were light brown with dark centers. Her dark hair hung loose in curls around her shoulders—it wasn't styled, just naturally lush. She looked fantastic.
Sabine's hair was always coiffed. It wasn't curly like Fleur's, or maybe it was, and she took care of it. Their eyes were different as well. Fleur's were like her mother's, while Sabine's were blue like her father's. Sabine's skin was pale, milky white, while Fleur looked like she got some sun.
"You come here a lot?" I made small talk because she didn't seem interested in speaking with me and was more into the drummer with two arms full of tattoos. That was probably her type. Shaggy musician with tats.
She looked surprised that I was having a conversation with her. "Yes. I know the band. Jamie, he's playing the drums—he and I were at Tulane together."
"Ah." Fu-cking Jamie!
"The guy on the guitar is his boyfriend," she continued artlessly; "And Sheena is on drums. Isn't she spectacular? She also plays with the Trumpet Mafia at Frenchmen's Hotel."
"Jamie is gay?" I asked, wanting to be precise because I'd had just enough to drink to want to make a play at Fleur Landry, my dead brother's sister-in-law.
She chuckled. "I don't know. He's had boyfriends and girlfriends. I think he might be pan. I've never asked."
"Have you slept him?"
She looked as shocked as I felt by my question.
"That's inappropriate, Callum," she said softly and stood up, ready to leave me to my surliness.
I wasn't going to apologize. I wanted to know because I wanted to slept her. I wanted to peel off that dress, with its long sleeves and high neck that reached all the way to her ankles, and see what was beneath it.
She probably thought she was hiding her body, or maybe not because it molded her boobs, a nice C+ I was sure, and her hip, which, as I noted before, was made for tapping.
"Let me rephrase, are you single, Fleur?"
Her eyes went wide. "Yes," she whispered.
I smiled at her. "Then why don't you sit back down and let me buy you a drink?"
And that's how it began.
I had her in my bed that night.
My head blew off.
Best intercourse of my life.
Fleur was sensual, generous, and knew how to give and take. I'd never imagined her to be so bold and demanding in bed. It was a complete turn-on. She wasn't just handing control over to me—as much as I liked that, I liked it better when my partner was asking me to bang them hard.
We continued to see each other, primarily for intercourse—because it was spectacular. But after a few months, I wanted more, so I told Brian, Lenora, and Sabine that Fleur and I were dating. They were all surprised and warned me that Fleur wasn't really my type. I knew that. But we were having fun. It was casual. I could, as the song went, make Miss Wrong, Right for a few months.
But seven months in, she made me feel things I never felt before. I didn't like it when she stayed at her apartment in the Marigny. I didn't like it when she traveled for work. According to Sabine, she worked at some software company and barely made ends meet. She rented an apartment in the Marigny, which didn't look cheap, but Sabine had also told me that Brian and Lenora helped Fleur out financially. I thought that was generous of them, especially since she didn't attend many family functions.
Regardless, I wanted her to live with me.
I liked waking up to her. I liked how she made breakfast while she swayed, listening to jazz in the mornings. I liked how she surprised me with little presents—like a book of poems by Pablo Neruda the day after we discussed poetry, a golf club for mini golf since I'd never played, a walking tour of the haunted houses of New Orleans because even though I'd lived here for most of my adult life, I'd never been.
She filled our days with fun.
The only time she seemed stiff was when we were around her parents and sister. I was a guy who respected family—would die for them, so I couldn't understand Fleur's reticence.
Since my parents moved to Edinburgh and Seamus died, the Landrys were my family in the States. Fleur should've also been my family, but she just didn't seem to care about her parents and sister. I'd asked her about it, and she prevaricated, cementing the idea that she just wasn't the family type.
She was flighty and enjoyed spending time with friends and pan-sexual musicians rather than kin. It would never work out between us, but I was enjoying my time with a woman so different from those who I dated before. She wasn't angling for anything from me—no ring, no promise, not even of loyalty and fidelity. She just lived in the moment, and I liked that about being with her.
"Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not here. I want to live in today," she'd told me. "I like living in the present."
"What do you like about it?"
"Good or bad, my life at the moment is only for a moment. It's not some lifelong sentence or some past trauma to carry. Do you know that the Masai don't have a concept of time? They believe that now is where it's at."
"So, you're like the Masai?" I teased.
"I'm trying to be," she admitted seriously. "I don't want to dwell on the past because there were more bad times than good, and I don't want to worry about the future because I don't know how it's going to turn out."
I never asked her what she meant by more bad times than good. I should have; because this happy and bright person didn't appear to have any baggage.
But everyone brought their past to their present. I just hadn't been curious. So, even after eight months together, I didn't know Fleur very well. She was still an enigma.
And I still wanted to sleep her.
|