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Created 1/19/25, 9:51 PM
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Silencing the Scapegoat

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Covid was an inflection point for so many people.

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https://open.substack.com/pub/kellyelisesmith/p/silencing-the-scapegoat?r=4a0xxh&utm_medium=ios

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Kelly Elise Smith Windsor

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Covid was an inflection point for so many people.
As luck, or the stars, would have it I had decided to start travel nursing in 2019.

I had come out of my divorce in some debt, had recently lost a paying roommate and had been threatened by my ex regarding any attempts I might make in trying to collect child support from him. Since I had learned my lesson well in years prior about the merits of trying to collect blood from a stone, I decided going after him for his lack of desire in being a contributing provider to our daughter’s upbringing was only going to cause us all misery, so I decided to find a way to make more money.

Travel contracts pay more. You have to learn the ropes in a new hospital, a new charting system, make new work friends, build relationships with new doctors, learn the priorities of a new crew, but it helps build skills and flexibility. And it pays more.

So when Covid hit emergency rooms like a tsunami of death and despair that’s exactly where I was, pummeled by the pandemic and pandemonium it caused; working in various emergency rooms in the surrounding hospitals, garbed head to toe in PPE trying to save lives and watching despair creep in as so many of them didn’t make it.

The controversy over what was real and what wasn’t added a dollop of derision to the intensity of the trauma those of us on the front lines of the pandemic response were experiencing. So I took it upon myself to start writing about my experiences as a Covid RN.

The overwhelming response to my stories was positive and I found the process of writing cathartic. As the waves of Covid variants came and went I found myself more and more isolated from friends and family and more and more depressed. I started to remember the depression that had plagued me as a child and once again wondered why I was such a depressed little kid….

MORE ON MY SUBSTACK

https://open.substack.com/pub/kellyelisesmith/p/silencing-the-scapegoat?r=4a0xxh&utm_medium=ios

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Kelly Elise Smith Windsor

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