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- Friday November 8th -
(Part 2)
Yesterday marked 2 years since I lost my grandfather. Some of you knew him, he was my father figure and best friend for as long as I could remember. He took me everywhere with him I think about him and miss him everyday and that's grief. Looking back 2022 was one of the hardest years of my life. I lost several members of my family, one of my closest childhood friends and learned in my grief that most of my friends weren't my friends. in that year and the compounded grief was unbelievable.
However I was consistently denied the ability to grieve in a healthy way. Even having to quit and walk out of food city because I wanted to take care of him at the end. Other than a few friends and my family, the people I thought would be a bigger part of my support system weren't.
My ex thought it was appropriate to bring his work drama into my grandfather's funeral, My ex best friend at the time lived like fifty feet from the funeral home and spent the week avoiding me because she was too busy cheating on her boyfriend, spreading rumors, and lies about all of our friends and all kinds of other maliciously senseless BS, all while telling other mutual friends that I was overreacting or "milking" papows death for attention.
It seems like every time I was faced with losing someone I love, there are some that have driven a great sense of joy from anything that could go wrong in mine or my family's life and that's ok. Considering I have done and will continue to do everything in my power to cut these people out of my life. They're toxic and attention hungry because they never had good parents and now that's somehow my fault, but I digress.
I'm done having my feelings denied and my words twisted. I'm done dealing with people who are "giddy" to try to do things to hurt me when people I care about are actively dying. GROW UP; there's way more important shit going on. Then they have the nerve to say I'm the one who can't get over it. I've been over it but she's been under my ex since before we Split. All of this is because "I'm a bad person" and I just can't seem to make that make sense.
I am cutting anyone and everyone off who even roughly associates with them. They have admitted to setting stuff up, or using mutual friends to spy on me, and make sure I learn about things they want me to know. Its no hard feelings to any of you that later find that i have removed you. I'm just done being antagonized. I spent 10 years in a relationship where I was consistently lied to and treated poorly. I was manipulated and guilt tripped into allowing myself to be treated any type of way. My life, my family, my interests, passion, love or grief meant absolutely nothing to the people I was supposed to be the closest to at the time. This is because; when I was at my lowest and going through things they made it clear that I was no longer useful to them and therefore a burden.
I have spent MANY years keeping good secrets for shitty people, to protect their reputations while they try to "get under my skin" or destroy mine but thats ok. I know how much they hate accountability and the truth. It doesn't really bother me in the way that they think. It bothers me because all they are capable of is immature FATHERLESS BEHAVIOR.
What are yalls experiences with grief and toxic people?
I am essentially reading through old messages and screenshots, and even my paper journal. It's a wild ride! My next entry will probably go back all the way to the beginning in 2013. Buckle up! It's a wild ride and I cannot make this stuff up. I just don't want to hold this in anymore, I've already been told that I "slandered" them on here. Might as well tell my side, so they can suck on this And let me know how it tastes.
I probably got 4-6 more of these posts to tell my full story. Also trying to back up old memory files for screenshots and pictures to accompany these posts.
Anyways I hope everyone is having a good day weather you're at home, school or work, and this is inspiring to someone dealing with something sinilar, or at the very least i hope it is entertaining tea for anyone interested. :)
God bless you all ❤️
#storytime #exposed #part2 #grief #heresthetea
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