| Body |
Chapter 1
IRENE'S POV
My chast heaved with rapid breaths, my eyes fluttered close. My lips fell open and a moan squeezed past my throat. My fingers were working overtime as I pushed them in and out of my wetness with my legs spread apart in bed.
I bit the corners of my lips as I threaded my fingers through my hair, gripping them a bit hard like I suspected he would. I imagined his hands on me instead. His long fingers sliding in and out, coated with my juices. He would stroke my insides while holding my legs apart.
"Karson," I moaned when his image was all I could see. I reached out my hand to touch him. To touch his rock hard body and trail my fingers down his chast to the V-line where his towel had hung loose.
His scent was buried in my memory. All it took was one sniff and here I was, moaning to this man and bucking my hiips.
He looked so much better. His face was more defined and he grew so handsome in a short while. His shoulders were broad and wide. He had a perfect figure and toned body.
I increased my pace and I gasped when I found it. I slapped a hand over my mouth. The rising heat in the lower part of my stomach increased.
Tears rolled down my face. I craved his touch, his fire. My body ached for his attention, the warmth in his eyes, I desired nothing more-
My toes curled and I jerrked my hiips as my body convulsed. I bit into my palm as my orggasm rolled out of me. It took a while to recover. I was breathing hard and trying to gather myself again.
This was the state he left me in. every single time we bumped into each other. Just a whiff of his scent and I was squirming for his touch.
I almost felt terrible for including him in my little session but he was all I could think about. I've been masturbatting frequently now. My mating ceremony to the man of my fantasies was today.
One part of me was pleased and happy with the fact that I would have my long time dream come true; being mated to Karson. He was the soon to be Alpha of The Nightcrawlers Pride. I didn't care about his title, that wasn't the reason I loved him. With or without his title, I was bound to be drawn to him.
While one part was pleased, the other part was devastated. As much as I wanted to be his mate, I wasn't. Even worse, Karson seemed to think that I had bewitched Luna- his mother- into arranging our marriage.
"She's wolfless, mother," he had said during dinner tonight. His contempt was loud, his mock even louder. I withdrew my hands from the table and hid them under with my head lowered at the usual confrontation.
"I know," Luna Teresa's reply was calm like she was unaffected by her son's cruel words. I wished his words wouldn't affect me at all. Yet every time he opened his mouth, I was close to tears.
Maybe if I loved him any less, I would have tougher skin and wouldn't be running to my room crying like a three year old.
He was right. I was wolfless. It wasn't impossible for a werewolf not to have a wolf, it was just rare to find and even rarer for that wolfless wolf to be Luna, ruling over a powerful pack as The Nightcrawlers Pride.
According to the book of records in the Pack, I would be the first wolfless Luna. While breaking a record didn't seem too bad, this wasn't exactly the kind of record I would be boastful of.
"Yet you would subject your only son and heir to the Pride Family Pack to this fate?" Karson had asked his mother in an accusing tone that made me stop feeling sorry for myself but sorry for her.
A wolfless mate meant one of two things; There was a high chance of birthing a wolfless pup and there was a lower chance of birthing a pup- in this case, the next Alpha.
I squeezed my dress in a fist. The pressure that was upon my shoulders was more than anyone could ever imagine.
"I have strong faith in our genes," Aunt Teresa- as I'd come to know her, smirked. "After all, your father's family were all Alpha's, down to his mother. So you're from a thick and strong Alpha bloodline. I have faith in you-"
"My goodness!" Karson huffed in disbelief. "Can you hear yourself, mother? You're betting everything away for her?"
I wanted the soft dining chair that had suddenly grown cold under my bvtt to swallow me.
"What’s so special about her anyways!"
I've heard that before. It shouldn't be anything new. I've cried my eyes out to those words yet every time he asked, it was a whole different feeling than I had bargained for.
I was plain. I had no scent, no wolf, no family. There was literally nothing to my name. All I had was everything Aunt Teresa had given to me since I was five. My parents died in a war and Luna had been so kind as to take me in. She couldn't recall my last name so she gave me Pride instead.
I was already sharing a last name with the man I came to love. Karson and I lived under the same roof. Growing up around him had been okay. He never showed me this hate, he never even spoke to me except when we were at the table. But ever since he returned from his training where he stayed away to be Alpha for three years, things had gone down the drain.
"This is your doing, isn't it?"
I stiffened at his words and finally lifted my gaze. The anger and hate in his eyes was enough to let a tear slide down my eye. He was convinced I had bewitched Luna. After all, why would she decide to kil her own bloodline that had been passed down for years?
I quickly wiped my eyes. I didn't want Luna to notice plus Karson would scold me and be cross at me if his mother confronted him about making me cry.
I fear he was already running from my reach before I could even stretch out my hands.
"I'm sorry, I have no hand in this," I said either way, knowing fully well that he wouldn't believe me.
"Don't apologize for things that are beyond your control, Irene," Aunt Teresa wiped her mouth with her napkin and rose to her feet. "You two will be just fine. The mating ceremony is in a few days. Get to know yourselves a lot better," with her little advice, she walked away, allowing fear to step in.
Karson would eat me alive now that we were alone. I wanted to run after Aunty but I knew it would be childish-
"Don’t get any ideas in your head," Karson stated and I turned my attention to him. His words pierced me like a hot thin needle. "You're only my mother's choice. Once I find my mate, I'll have her as my Luna and you'll step down."
I gulped and started to nod slowly at his words.
"I don't need you to agree, Irene," he scoffed, reminding me that I didn't have a choice and that he called all the shots. "That's just the way it's supposed to be. Think of this as a way of repaying my mother's kindness all those years." Karson got up and walked out of the table.
I tried my hardest to understand him. I guess, in a way, his hate was justified. He returned from his Alpha training only to discover he was arranged to be married. He was stripped of the chance to find his mate and he was stuck with someone as useless as myself.
His words, his attitude had screamed one thing. 'Know your place, Irene,' and I read the message loud and clear.
****************
Our mating ceremony was a long and torturous one for me. The Pack congratulated us endlessly and the smile I plastered on my face should leave a mark by morning. Karson stood stiffly by my side.
We were now the new Alpha and Luna of The Nightcrawlers Pride and we were expected to carry out our duties immediately. While no one would say it, I knew that the 'baby making process' was expected as well.
We headed to our new room to commence and mark the final activity for the mating ceremony. A day that I had looked forward to all my life.
I was nervous and it didn't seem like a good one. I didn't know what to expect but I was already wet, my niples had rolled into tight buds and they tried to gain attention and drill a hole through my outfit.
I stepped into the room before him. "I'll be right back," he said and I nodded, closing the door behind me. Immediately, I dashed to the bathroom and took a shower. I couldn't afford this moment to be ruined.
I wrapped the towel around my chast and got out of the shower. My heart hammered in my chast. Karson was staring at me with his undivided attention.
His gaze dropped lower and I tightened my hand around my towel. The air was thick and in an instant, he was taking long strides towards me.
I met him half way and while my hands reached out to touch his face and pull him into a kiss, his hand grabbed my towel and he yanked it off.
I gasped in shock but his hands grabbed my brreasts. I was immediately enveloped in the feel of him. I wrapped my hands around his back as he licked and softly nibbled on my hard niples.
His rough hands trailed down my body and kicked my legs apart. He slid two fingers into my core and I gasped at the sudden intrusion.
"How are you so wet?" He mumbled to himself.
I couldn't breathe. His fingers were bigger than mine so they stretched me more than I had ever done to myself.
I felt so full and I hadn't even had the real thing yet. He pumped into me hard and fast, soon my legs shook and my eyes were fluttering close.
"Karson," I wanted it now. I wanted it right now. I wanted his shaft filling me up and I wanted his bite mark over my neck.
"Fvcking hel, Irene!" He cursed and roughly pulled out his fingers. He grabbed my wrist and made me climb the bed, he pressed a hand to my waist and I knew what he wanted.
I stayed ass up, face down. I was exposed to him in that position with my legs spread apart. I gripped the sheets beside my head and waited impatiently.
The sound of his zipper fuelled my rising hunger and soon I felt something cold and hard poke at my entrance.
Suddenly alarmed, I started to rise, "Karson, wait I've never-"
He thrust his full length into me and my jaw dropped open.
"Fvck! How are you so...tight!" Karson forced those words through his teeth.
The sharp pain I felt was overwhelmed by the pleasure that came soon after. I felt him all the way to the back of my throat.
My insides were stretched to their limit and when he pulled out and slammed back in, hard and fast, a tear rolled down my cheek.
It was more than I had imagined. It was blissful. I could almost see it. The way he pulled back with my juices coating his shaft, inviting him to slam back in and when he did, I could only chew my lip and let out moans of pleasure.
Our first night was pure fvcking and nothing else. I gripped the sheets as he grabbed my waist to meet and take his every thrust.
I was gasping for breath and his thrusts were faster, shorter and harder.
I wondered how it was even possible to move his hiips like that.
I could barely catch my breath.
If I died today, I would die a happy, wolfless wolf who finally married the man of her dreams.
I needed his bite mark.
"Karson," I managed to get the words out in between gasps and moans.
My or9asm was sudden and instant. My body shook and convulsed as he kept up his thrusts. I squeezed my eyes shut as the electricity rolled through my vibrating core, clenching down hard on him and svcking him in.
He grew harder under in an instant and I soon felt something warm in my belly and his shaft pulsed like a heart pumping.
My body was spent and I was too weak to open my eyes. He pulled out and I let out a weak moan. I waited for his touch to find me but the only thing I heard were his footsteps and soon, the sound of the door opening and then closing- announcing his departure.
Karson had left without leaving his mate bite behind.
Chapter 2
IRENE'S POV
I threw my head over her legs as I sobbed like a child. Her gentle pat landed on my head, over and over again.
"It's going to be alright, Irene," Aunt Teresa said in a soothing voice. I shook my head against her hand.
I could hear my heart breaking at his rejection and words of comfort reached nowhere near to piecing my heart together.
"I mean it, Irene," Aunt Teresa sighed. She was adamant on making me feel good this morning.
After Karson walked out of the room, he was yet to return and I just couldn't stand the terrible feeling that plagued my heart.
So here I was in Aunt's room, crying my eyes out.
"Don't shed so many tears, Irene. Your eyes will be puffy," she grabbed my face and jerrked my head up. I could barely see her through my blurry vision but her face was in a small pout and her brows were knitted in a frown.
Her long black hair was let down and she looked like a goddess.
"Look at you," she sighed. "You're so pretty, don't ruin your face, Irene." She wiped my tears with her thumb and pressed her lips to my forehead in a kiss.
I closed my eyes as I tried to relax into it but more tears only poured out when I remembered that Karson didn't even kiss me.
I 9roaned, throwing my head back as I sobbed even harder. "He didn't- hic- he avoided- hic- I don't know why- hic- but he didn't- hic-"
"Stop crying, Irene. I can't make out your words-"
"He didn't make out with me!" I cried harder and stopped to swallow the lump in my throat before I continued again.
"It's because I'm wolfless and I'm not even his mate! I have nothing- he hates me,"
"He doesn't hate you," She tried to assure me. "He just doesn't understand-"
"Understand what?" I cried. "I don't understand either. Make me understand-"
"Irene!" She grabbed my face again and stared into my eyes. "You can't force your destiny. When the time is right, you'll understand. I have faith in you, Irene."
I didn't even have faith in myself but her tone was convincing and the way she stared at me with no joke.
She wiped my tears again and I didn't have the heart to produce any more.
"Trust me, my dear. You're Luna now and I'm sure you'll be more powerful than ever before."
****
I held onto her words and made them my strength but as the days rolled by, my frustration was beyond me that I would lock myself in my room- as Karson never returned- and cried.
Our matrimonial bed had become my personal bed. The room we were supposed to share was now my own room.
The only time we bumped into each other was during breakfast where we ate in silence or going past his office to mine.
The Luna position came with a lot of responsibility and I was still being eased into it. But with Karson's attitude still on my mind, I was always mentally and emotionally stressed by the end of each day.
"Luna, is everything alright?"
I snapped out of my thoughts at the Beta's voice. Wayne stared at me with a worried look. He had been in my office for a few minutes now but I could hardly recall the issue he had raised.
"I'm sorry," I hurriedly apologized and dropped my pen on the desk, giving him my full attention. "I'm fine. You were saying?"
He didn't look the least convinced but he had to go on either way. He smiled and the wrinkles around his mouth stretched. He had gotten very old over the years, I guess it was time for him to retire but that was his and Karson's decision to make.
"Maybe you should get some rest later,"he suggested and I could only offer him a smile. "I was asking your opinion about weapon storage in the Pack. While we don't have any impending threats, I was thinking it wouldn't be bad to restock and increase our budget."
"A few of our warriors with friends from other packs have mentioned the endless amount of weapons over there. I'm afraid they feel ours is lacking behind," he explained.
"I understand. But having an endless amount of weapons calls for a higher maintenance budget. If we do that, the tax will increase, the pack members will suffer and all we'll have are weapons while exploiting others," I sighed. "We're building a nation not a military zone. Even during war, we can have enough money and gain the upper hand."
"I'm afraid I'll have to decline the request to stock more weapons. Instead, could we cover it by high maintenance of what we already have?" I suggested.
Beta Wayne was already nodding with a satisfied smile on his face, "Yes, that could work. You're right. You're a blessing to us, Irene. Our budget is in safe hands. Our Alpha is really lucky to have you by his side."
I smiled in response to his words and watched him excuse himself. It was only fair to have brains, in my opinion. After discovering I was wolfless, I trained myself in other ways to help strengthen the Pack and I knew I was successful each time I received praises.
Even worse, there was something strange that I had started to notice. Wayne's daughter visited Alpha Karson every day.
"Where is the Alpha, Joan?" I asked the maid that served my tea.
"He's in his office, Luna," she fidgeted for a while, biting her lip.
"With who?" I already knew what she wanted to say. The thought of her answer was already making me squeeze the document I was holding.
"Lexie, Luna Irene," she replied in a murmur.
I offered her a smile, "Thank you. You can go now." She bowed before rushing out of my office.
I leaned back on my seat with a hand over my face and a tired sigh leaving my lips.
Her constant visits to the Alpha's study was becoming alarming. They spent every minute together and he rarely had lunch or dinner with me.
Her giggles were loud and every time I heard it, I could hear my heart breaking but I would lift my chin and wear a smile.
I had loved Karson for years and a little thing like this shouldn't be able to shake me.
I shrugged it off my shoulders and tried to concentrate on my duties. I successfully distracted myself till evening but soon came the migraines that were impossible to ignore.
I called it a night and started to walk down the hallway. When I approached Karson's door, my heart began to pound.
I wondered if he was still in and if he was with her. It was almost 9p.m already and she was supposed to be at home. Besides, I was yet to have dinner and I wondered if he had eaten too.
He had successfully avoided me for a whole month, sharing his attention between his work and Lexie. It was strange to think about but I didn't want to ponder on that.
Especially when my thoughts would play detective, questioning itself if she was his mate or not. But she wasn't of age yet for him to find out.
That was the only thread of hope that I clung onto.
"Maybe I could ask if we could have dinner together," I wondered and I slowed down when I got to his door. Karson's scent was faint but it tickled my nose either way, making my niples hard and my core already wet.
Being wolfless, I could hardly distinguish between people by their scent nor could I smell everyone but Karson's scent was one I had thought myself to remember.
His scent was like wild roses in an open field while Aunt Teresa's scent was warm and sunny.
I cherished the little gift I had from having two werewolf parents as Aunt Teresa had told me. We never spoke much about them and I wondered why. All I knew was that they were good people who would do anything for the ones they loved.
Sometimes, I wondered if they didn't love me enough to stay alive.
Exhaling softly, I held the cold door knob of Karson's office and I pushed it open.
"Karson, I was wondering if you'd like to have dinner with-"
The rest of the words died in my throat. My eyes widened and I heard my own heart shatter.
Dizziness washed over me and my knees wobbled but I gripped the door hard to keep standing.
Karson had Lexie in his arms in a hug while he backed her against his desk. His mouth was on her neck and the way she held onto him tightly as if she was in slight pain, I could already tell what was going on.
The mate bite he had refused to give me, he was bestowing it upon her. He had marked her without even stopping to consider our mating ceremony-
Was she... No! I shook my head even as my thoughts already confirmed it. My lips trembled as tears filled my eyes at the realization.
Karson was hel bent upon meeting his mate. He hates our arranged marriage because he didn't have the chance to find his destined mate.
She was his mate.
The sight before my eyes was growing on my pierced heart that continued to shatter even more.
The sight burned right into my head that I was sure I could never forget it even if I were to lose my memory today. I would at least remember that the only man I had ever loved, had finally found his mate and I was nothing to him.
I stepped away from the door like it would explode at any minute.
"You're only my mother's choice," his words before our mating ceremony began to hunt me.
My breathing became ragged and I clutched my chast, tugging at the neck of my dress as I found it hard to breathe.
I staggered backwards with eyes wide in horror. I turned and ran into my room, slamming the door behind me. I sagged to the floor with my knees hunched up to my chast.
My hands shook and so did my shoulders. The tears fell and all I could do was stare into my palm before slowly placing it over my face.
Chapter 3
IRENE'S POV
The pain I felt was like a deep hollow of nothingness that delved deeper and deeper even when I tried not to think about last night. The image was engraved in my head.
I hadn't slept a wink. I sat up in my bed all night with my thoughts all over hel's half acre. My shoulders were slumped and my hair was let loose to drop down, covering the side of my face.
There was a knock on my door but I didn't lift my eyes from the sheets. The knock sounded again and it took a while to recover. I lifted my gaze and sighed, drilling a hole into the door.
I didn't want any visitors. I simply wished to sit in my bed all day but that couldn't happen. I muttered a weak "come in," and mentally mocked my sorry tone.
"Luna?" A maid stepped in and I locked eyes with her. She gasped with her eyes going wide for a brief second before she lowered her eyes.
Did I really look that bad in just one night?
"B-breakfast has been served and the Alpha's mother has asked me to come fetch you," she stuttered.
"I see," I sighed again and started to drag myself out of bed. My knees were weak from holding me up. "Bring out something for me to wear and... Some make-up for my face."
"Y-Yes, Luna!"
I showered quickly and dressed up fast. When I stared into the mirror, I shook my head at my sorry self. My eye bags were bad and there were dark circles too. I looked like I had been crying all night.
The maid helped in applying the pancake and covering it up. I thanked her and rushed for breakfast after practicing my smile in the mirror.
I was going to act like there was no weight in my heart and no turbulence in my head. But my smile froze when I got to the table.
Lexie was laughing with Aunty and Karson had a smile on his face while he ate- that was something that had never happened.
"Oh, Luna," Lexie's voice was high and she sounded elated. "You're here. We've been waiting for you. Breakfast is almost cold."
She was a very pretty young woman with bob brown hair, an oblong face, love shaped bow lip and her body figure was very matured. Her b00bs were bigger than mine and so were her legs. This was probably Karson's type.
What was she doing here? Why was she here? She had no right to be here- unless...
"Lexie, here, joined us for breakfast," Aunt explained. She probably read the confusion on my face.
"Sorry, if it's uncomfortable for you," Lexie said and nervously rubbed her hand on her neck.
I saw it.
She knew I saw it.
The band-aid on her neck was no joke. I had lost Karson and she was making that clear.
****
She didn't have breakfast with us every other day. It was just that one time but it sent a clear message to me. My days in his life were numbered.
I went down for breakfast with a thudding heart and anxiousness in my womb.
Their silence was taking a toll on me. I wondered if it was their plan to drive me mad so they could find an excuse to kick me out but Karson didn't need an excuse to get rid of me. He could do it whenever he wanted since he had found his mate.
So why was he holding back? Why were they keeping their affair a secret?
My thoughts were ferocious and they showed no mercy. A minute of idleness and I was sinking deep into depression. I picked up more work than usual. An attempt to keep my mind occupied and busy was starting to weigh down on me.
I left my office by 2a.m. every day, only to return by 8a.m. I had no complaints whatsoever but after a week, I noticed the workload started to reduce. The usual heap of files I arranged for myself were halved and I was rounding off sooner than I wanted.
"Raphael, why is there so little work to do?" I voiced my complaints to the Gamma of the Pack. He was arranging a few files for me to check out and I was already frowning at how little they were.
"Shouldn't you be happy?" He asked instead. "You've been working too much of late," he was one of the few who could speak freely to me despite my Luna title. He was a good friend of mine despite still being Karson's Gamma.
"I'm not complaining," I told him. "What happened to all the work?" I wanted to sink into work and nothing more. It was my only means of escape at this point.
"Well, Alpha Karson shared some of your Luna duties to Lexie-"
"What?" I must've misheard. I refused to believe my ears. "What did you just say?" Raphael met my gaze with caution. He was probably debating whether or not to repeat that. In the end, he did.
"But, I don't understand... Am I doing something wrong? Did I make a mistake somewhere-"
"No, never. Irene, you're perfect. You've been doing everything right from the very beginning," he encouraged, pulling me out from the hands of criticism that my thoughts had wrapped around me.
"Then why? I am Luna. Only Luna should handle Luna affairs," I said more to myself, trying to understand the situation and give reasons why it wasn't even making any sense.
Raphael glanced away for a moment and my heart sank. "You've been noticing it too, haven't you?"
"I'm sorry. I didn't want to tell you so you wouldn't worry so much," He made an apologetic face. "I simply carried out the order. Maybe you could ask him sometime," he suggested. "Would you like to go for a walk? To clear your mind at least?"
This was happening too fast for me to wrap my head around. I swallowed hard as I looked around my office. Since when was there a deputy Luna?
What was Karson's aim in all of this? Was he trying to ridicule my position or make me know my place?
I nodded and he smiled, turning away immediately. "Would you like ice cream or sandwich along the way-"
"R-Raphael?" I called and stepped out from behind my desk. He was already at the door when he turned to face me. " Let's go for a smooke break instead," I needed another form of distraction since Karson had taken this one away from me.
"What do you mean?" He asked, sounding suspicious.
"I want to smooke too."
*****
My workload reduced as my deputy Luna took her work seriously. Day by day I did less work but I occupied myself with smooking in my bathroom whenever I could.
It was relaxing and it helped me let out some steam.
I was in my room by 6pm. that evening, smooking again when I heard a knock on the door.
I froze for a moment, looking at the door with furrowed brows. I wasn't expecting anyone. Plus Karson never came here. He had his own room now.
"Who is it-"
"Irene, dear? Can I come in?" Aunt Teresa's voice had me slamming the ci9arette on the ashtray. I carried it to the bathroom and dumped it in the sink.
I rushed out and grabbed my perfumes, spraying the air with my heart beating wildly in my chast. After I sniffed the air and made sure the ci9arette smell was gone, I took a deep breath and opened the door.
Her shiny face and warm smile came into view. She stood in a composed manner with her head tipped up. Aunty could never be caught without the aura and grace of a queen.
I ushered her in with more enthusiasm than normal and I hoped she wouldn't notice.
"You finished your duties a little early. That's good. Why didn't you come over to my room so we could talk?" She wondered, heading to the dropped curtains. "It's quite dark in here," she mumbled to herself and spread the curtain open.
I raised a hand to shield my eyes from the light. I preferred the dark and gloomy area. It was a perfect place to hide my shame.
How could I even look at myself in the mirror and call myself a Luna? I was a sorry excuse for one.
"I didn't want to disturb you with my issues," I intertwined my fingers over my legs as I stood by the door with my eyes on the floor of where she was.
She turned her body in my direction, "Oh? That's a first. Is something going on?"
Something? More than enough was going on and I doubted Aunty even knew half of it. "Not at all," I shook my head. If Karson wouldn't tell her, then I wouldn't dare to mention it.
Aunt Teresa was a supportive mother to both Karson and I. I wondered how she would react to Karson finally finding his mate. I wouldn't want to put her at a crossroad.
Actually, I think I just couldn't bear the thought of Aunt Teresa picking Lexie over me. It hurt that Karson already did but it would hurt me more and rip my heart out if the only mother figure I've known all my life were to discard me like I meant nothing.
"It's your birthday tomorrow," she announced. "Did you forget?"
"Oh," a day I had always looked forward to was now insignificant to me. "I guess I did."
She sighed, "Perhaps are you working too much, Irene?"
I almost scoffed with my vision blurred with tears, "No, that's impossible. I'm not even doing nearly enough."
"What do you mean? You work everyday and you're doing good," she defended. "Are you crying again?"
I couldn't help it. My chin was trembling as I tried to hold back my tears. It felt as though a dam was about to break. I felt like a worthless piece of crap. Karson couldn't even trust me with Luna duties anymore, he handed them over to that other woman.
What was I thinking? I was actually the "other woman" in their relationship. I was an outsider who could never take the place of his mate.
Not that I even wanted to try- far from it! I just wanted Karson to acknowledge my love for him and my efforts to make him happy and satisfied. Was that really too much to ask?
I was in Aunt Teresa's embrace by the time I recovered myself. She wrapped her arms around me as I tried to control my sobs.
"Don't doubt yourself so much, my dear. Everything will be just fine," she reassured and I nodded even though I knew things wouldn't be fine. They would only get worse and worse with each passing day.
I made up my mind to confront Karson about what he had done rather than allow myself to wallow and sink further into self pity and doubt.
Aunt Teresa left after informing me she would be returning from a short trip tomorrow evening to celebrate my birthday with me. I took a shower and by evening I was heading to Karson's room. My head was throbbing from a dull headache that had become a constant thing every evening for a week now and my temperature was quite high.
I made it to Karson's room and after practicing controlled breathing up to five times, I knocked.
"Come in," his voice was soft and it made my heart melt. For a second there I wondered if he was expecting someone else.
I walked into his room with his scent hitting me first. It's been a while since I stepped into his personal space. The last time I did that, I nearly had a heart attack from what I saw.
Karson was seated on his king sized bed with his head turned to a document. He had moved back to his old room. While everything was familiar in here, the one thing that wasn't was this hot man in nothing but his dark blue pants.
I almost drooled just by staring at his chast and bulging muscles. When next would I get to touch his body-
"I suppose you didn't come here to stare, right?" His voice interrupted my thoughts and gone was the soft tone that I had received outside the door.
He was back to his usual self and cold tone especially with the way he gazed at me with no atom of smile on his face.
I summon my courage, "Right. I came because I need answers. You handed part of my duties to Lexie and I'd appreciate it if you could tell me why."
His brow arched in a silent question, "It's been a week already. Why is it suddenly so important to know?"
He was right. I had taken too long to question him. I should've headed into his office the first time I heard the news.
"I know. I've only been wondering if there was something I wasn't doing right," I stated while trying to keep a straight face. "So I took the time to look inwards and question myself-"
"There's no need for you to do that, Irene," he tilted his head. "You've managed the Packs finances very well while making sure there's adequate supply of everyone's needs." His compliment left me stunned as I never expected it from him.
"Then," I took a step closer. "Why is Lexie acting as a deputy Luna? It is unheard of that Luna's duties are given to someone else. Is there something I should know-"
"If that'll be all, I'd like to get back to my duties now. As you can see," he lifted the document slightly. "I'm still occupied."
I gaped at him in shock. He was openly dismissing my question about Lexie. Was this what it had come to?
"It's my birthday tomorrow," I announced with my eyes on the sheets, wondering if he had ever taken Lexie here and did to her what he did with me during the night of our mating ceremony.
Was he more pasionate and gentle? Did he hold her after-
I let out a harsh breath as there was nothing but silence. He had turned his attention back to his work and it showed that I wasn't needed here anymore.
I quietly left his room and I doubted he even noticed that I was gone.
I spent the night with a high fever and a headache but by morning after throwing up a few times, I realized what my condition was.
I threw out the ci9arettes and got rid of the ash tray. I got naked and stood in front of a mirror. My breests were fuller and my niples had spread and were wider.
Karson would've noticed if he had spared me a minute or more of his time for a little visit.
I needed to get out of here. This place was no longer my home. It was only a matter of time before Karson would welcome his mate to his side and she would be made Luna as soon as possible.
There was nothing left for me here; not in the pack and not even by his side. I did the only thing I could do at this point; the only thing Karson would appreciate and probably love me for someday... I ran.
Chapter 4
IRENE'S POV
FIVE YEARS LATER
"Carl! Karin! Mummy's leaving!" The nanny announced with a loud voice and in less than two seconds, two preschoolers ran out with their chubby cheeks.
The boy- Carl- was holding his favorite dinosaur toy with his black hair disheveled on his head. His smile was wide as he ran out and his arms opened wide while Karin- the girl- had her usual frown on her face. She practically glared at everything as she approached.
I squatted before the couch as they approached me. I wrapped my arms around them, pulling them into a hug when they got closer.
"M-Mummy," Carl stuttered excitedly. When I pulled away and stared into their faces, Karin was wearing a smile. She only ever smiled when she was around me.
The nanny was already complaining that she was scared of her. But what could a four year old do to a full grown woman?
"Karin, did you pull your brother's hair again?" I arched my brows and she tensed with her smile freezing on her face. Her dark hair was in two ponytails. I wondered how long it had taken Nanny May to successfully do that.
She shook her head aggressively and I glanced at Carl who was already playing with his dinosaur. Ignoring our conversation like it was past tense to him.
"Are you lying?" I tried again and when she nodded, I covered my face with a smile. "Your honesty is appreciated but you have to stop pulling his hair. You'll turn him into an old man."
I could feel my wolf smiling proudly as we stared at the duo who almost never got along. It almost reminded me of the relationship I had with their father.
"Anyways!" I said to my pups and to my thoughts but that got their attention anyways. "I'm leaving-"
"Where?" Karin's frown was back on her face- she was the bossy one- and Carl looked like he was about to start crying.
"N-No no, I'll be back soon, I promise. I have to meet up with the Alpha," I touched their cheeks and brought them closer for a kiss.
"Remember, do not shift before anyone except me, okay?" I repeated the only rule we had and they nodded in silence. "Thank you, baby," I kissed their foreheads and spoke loudly this time, "Make sure to listen to Nanny May, okay?" But they were already running away before I could get the words out.
I stepped out of the house with a weird feeling in my chast. It always felt this way whenever I had to leave them with anyone even for a second. Especially now that I'd be away for two nights.
I trusted the twins not to break the rule but it was concerning to think about. They were only four years old. Since when did four year olds start to shift?
Heck! I didn't even get my wolf until after I gave birth. It was a whole new experience for me, especially trying to connect with her. The link between us was like a thin thread but it had gradually advanced over the years.
"Ready to go?"
I was pulled out of my thoughts at the sound of my Alpha's voice. A bulky man with light brown skin and wild hair. Despite being in his thirties, he didn't look a day over twenty. He still looked so young and agile.
Alpha Lucas was leaning over his Jeep and I rushed to him. We got into the car and drove down to where the meeting was supposed to take place.
It was the third cross pack meeting our Pack would hold after five years and I was really looking forward to it.
I had received his orders to participate and I had already prepared my speech but my stomach still tied itself in a knot due to nervousness.
It had been a long time since I was made to handle such responsibility. I knew I was once Luna for The Nightcrawlers Pride and I delivered speeches to the Pack during the time I was there but that was a long time ago.
We arrived at the hotel scheduled for the meeting in less than two hours and the hall was already filled with Alpha's of different pack's and their Beta's, talking and catching up while others were getting to know each other.
"You look nervous," Alpha Lucas leaned down to whisper close to my ears. I blinked up at him, a bit uncomfortable by his sudden closures and he smiled, taking a step back.
"Is it that obvious?" My cheeks were flushed from the idea of everyone reading my body language. I had gained a few of their attention but I lifted my head and avoided their gaze. I knew how Alpha's could get with their ego's. I wouldn't want to step on toes here.
"Only to me," he shrugged. "But you look elegant and calm like a Luna," he complimented and I smiled tightly at the use of that title.
No one in The Howlers Pack knew of my past. When I ended up here five years ago, I was almost knocked over by his car. He took me in as a rogue who had decided to acknowledge an Alpha and we've not once talked about my past, not even when I found out I was pre9nant.
"You say the loveliest things to me, Alpha Lucas," I told him and I really meant it. He was like that guardian angel that kept cheering me on.
"You know I would say even lovelier things and do much more for you if you agree to be my mate," he tried again with a daunting smile on his lips.
He was a very good looking man who could get away with anything if he smiled. It was sad to know he lost his mate several years ago and he never spoke about her.
He was convinced I was his second chance mate and he had been trying, for what three to four years now? I had lost count of how many times he had tried to convince me but each time I repeated the same old lines.
"You're talking to a-"
"...a brick wall whose heart can never beat again," he rolled his eyes as he finished my lines. "I know, I know. I've heard that before. Sometimes I wish I could find the basstard who dared to break your heart and make him pay."
I laughed, placing a hand on his arm. It was funny hearing him say that and also very sweet. He cared deeply about me and I knew I could never repay his kindness in the way he wanted.
"Can I see the list of Pack's that'll be attending?" I asked, changing the topic and he went along with it.
He handed me a book that had all the twenty lists of Pack names with their Alpha and I scanned them. Eighteen out of twenty had already ticked in while two were left out.
"Black Might Pack- Alpha John and Beta Phillip," I mumbled, reading to myself. "And The Nightcrawlers Pride," I froze and stopped breathing.
I caught a whiff of something familiar in the air.
It sparked memories that I had sought to bury.
The scent of wild rose filled my nose and I gulped as I slowly lifted my gaze towards the door.
I held the gaze of familiar black eyes that made my heart slowly start beating again before picking up the pace.
He occupied the whole room and everyone else disappeared. He scanned the room as he buttoned his black suit that hugged his wide frame.
His eyes landed on mine and I felt my heart skip a nervous beat.
He was staring and I couldn't bring myself to look away. Could he recognise me? I wasn't the same woman when I left the pack five years ago. I was way different as my body had developed and I had added flesh in all the right places.
Still he stared like he knew and I saw recognition flash in his orbs.
"Irene, are you okay?"
I felt Alpha Lucas place a hand on my shoulder with his tone filled with worry and just like that, Karson's brows furrowed in a deep frown as his eyes darted back and forth in an angry and suspicious stare between me and my new Alpha.
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