Body |
It was so cold, and I was so confused. I didnât know where I was or even who I was. I woke up wet, dirty, and very cold in a ditch. I was hardly wearing any clothes and felt like I was walking in a daze. Everything was hazy, like, there was a cloud in my mind, and I couldnât shake it.
I was still determining where I was and even where I was going. I was scared because I hadnât seen another person since I woke up. I was afraid because I didnât remember anything of my past, including my own name.
What happened to me?
Why canât I remember anything?
Where am I?
How did I even get out here?
Who did this to me?
Why would anyone do this to me?
Was I really that much of a lousy person someone would want me dead?
So many questions flew through my aching brain. But I didnât have the answers to any of them.
Like, how do I get home?
I didnât even know how to get home because I didnât know where home was. Hell, I didnât even know if I had a family out there somewhere looking for me.
My feet were bare and dirty from walking through the forest. My dark hair was all over the place, and my dress was torn almost to pieces, barely covering my frozen body.
Every inch of my body hurt, from my toes to the tips of my hair. I felt like I was going to vomit because my head hurt so much.
Did I bang my head?
Where am I even going?
There were trees all around me, but I had no knowledge of how I got out there. I must have walked a long way, but I wasnât aware of how far Iâd come.
I stumbled through the trees and screamed when someone violently grabbed my arm. My eyes widened because the man holding onto me was incredibly tall and well-built. He was wearing nothing but a pair of board shorts, and his long blond hair was braided down his back yet shaved at the sides. He had a thick beard and sparkling brown eyes. He had muscles for days, and he was really intimidating.
I swallowed hard as five other men, almost as big, walked out from behind the trees.
Oh, Goddess, theyâre going to kill me!
What did I do to deserve this?
Had I not been through enough?
Could they not see how much distress I was in?
That Iâd been battered, and Goddess only knows what else?
Did they even care?
âWhat are you doing on our territory?â The big guy holding onto me asked. His voice was so deep it shook me to the bone!
I felt like I was going to pass out, I was barely fighting it, and it was taking everything I was not to give in.
âI... I didnât know I was trespassing. Please, let me go.â
He laughed as though Iâd just said something stupid. His laughter caused me to cringe inside, and I whimpered without meaning to. But I was in so much pain I couldnât bare it any longer.
âNo can do. Youâve seen this place, which means,â Big guy pulled me against him, making me gasp in shock. âYou belong to us now, and our Alpha is going to have so much fun with you.â
No way in hell!
I pulled against him, trying to make him let go. âLet go of me! Iâm not going anywhere...â Is all I got out of my mouth before he smacked me in it so hard it knocked me out...
---
I woke up to a hand on my face. I was lying on something soft and comfortable. A bed, I realized, when I slid my hand over the sheet-covered mattress. I blinked my eyes, looked around the room I was in, and narrowed them a little. It seemed I was in some sort of wooden house.
âHey,â I looked wide-eyed at the woman sitting beside me on the bed. âItâs okay, Starr; youâre okay now.â
Why is she calling me Starr?
âWho are you?â
âYou donât know who I am?â
Why did she look so devastated?
I shook my aching head. âShould I?â
She helped me to sit up before answering.
âOh, Starr, what happened to you?â
âI donât know,â I whispered. âI donât remember anything; I donât even know who I am.â
With tears in her eyes, the girl took my hand in her own. âMy name is Iona, and your name is Starr.â
âHow do you know?â
âBecause,â She smiled. âYouâre my best friend.â
âI am?â
Whatâs going on?
If she was my best friend, was this my pack?
My home?
But it couldnât be; that big pig made sure I knew that. I figured that meant Iona had met her mate and moved to this place. I supposed that made me lucky to have stumbled upon the pack Iona now belonged to.
Coincidence?
Or perhaps my subconscious mind led me here?
Iona nodded her redhead while wiping a tear of sadness from her cheek.
âYou and I went to school together. We were best friends from the day we met at four years old. We havenât seen each other for the past two years because I met my mate and moved here to be with him.â
That answered that.
âI didnât want to leave you, Starr, not when we had so many plans. But thatâs what we do, isnât it? Leave with our mates.â
âI donât know,â I mumbled because I was unsure how the mate thing worked. My mind seemed to be blocked from it all.
âIâll teach you all I know.â Iona smiled again. âI was scared to move here with a man Iâd only just met,â She laughed. âI literally walked into him one day in town. I was scared, but you told me there was nothing to be afraid of and to trust the mate bond. You said my mate would love and care for me, and you were right.â
None of what she just said meant anything to me. It didnât because I couldnât remember a thing! But how Iona looked at me told me she was being honest.
âWhere is home?â
Iona looked at me before shaking her head.
âA place far away from here. Letâs not say anything about it just yet; I have a lot to figure out before I call anyone from home. I just want to keep you safe, okay?â
I nodded but didnât really understand what she meant.
âWell, where is here?â
âThis is the Wild Pack. Weâre a small pack, but weâre a pretty friendly bunch once you get to know everyone. I donât know how you ended up here, so far away from home, but the Alpha will want to speak with you.â
âAlpha?â
I felt the confusion in my mind getting worse. I felt as though my brain was being crushed!
âThe man in charge.â She smiled slightly. âWhen you meet him, he might seem scary because heâs so tall and built, not to mention intimidating. But he wonât hurt you, Starr, I promise.â
I hoped she was right because I was terrified of being here. I had been through hell; that much was evident from the damage to my body. I didnât need any more drama; I just wanted some peace.
âYour injuries donât seem to be healing, and thatâs concerning. Perhaps we should get you cleaned up before the Alpha arrives? Would you like to take a shower and change into some clean clothes?â
I smiled excitedly and nodded my head, only to whimper at how terribly painful it was. I didnât remember what happened, but my head was the most painful injury. It felt like there was a hole in my head, and the air was getting in, causing my ears to hurt as well.
Iona sighed, then got out of her seat from the edge of the bed and walked away. She was back within a minute with a smile on her face.
âThis is Dolgran,â She held up a small corked green bottle. âAnd it will help with the pain youâre feeling.â
âWhat is it?â
âItâs a natural remedy to help with pain.â I stared at that bottle and then looked at Iona. âItâs okay, Starr. Please trust me that I would never do anything to harm you. Youâre my best friend.â
I watched a tear fall from Ionaâs eye, and I felt a little sad. I didnât remember this woman, but I trusted she knew me. That was why I allowed her to remove the cork and hand me the drink, which I knocked back.
I returned the empty bottle to Iona, who smiled while stroking my hair.
âShall we get you cleaned up?â
I nodded my head. âYes, please. But I donât have anything to change into.â
âDonât worry about that, Starr; I have something you can wear.â
âOkay,â I smiled and took her outstretched hand.
I didnât know what life had in store for me, but Iona knew who I was. Why she thought keeping home a secret from me was a good idea, I didnât know. But perhaps sheâd tell me one day, and before that, I would work out what happened to me; if it was the last thing I did.
Kai
âYou knocked her out?â
Davy looks at me sheepishly. âShe was fighting me; it was instinct.â
âShe was frightened,â Alex grits out between his teeth. âOf course, she was gonna fight you, you idiot!â
âThatâs enough!â I use my Alpha tone to make them shut the fu.ck up.
âMy Alpha,â Davy bows slightly. âShe stumbled onto our territory,â
âAnd she didnât know where she was,â Alex interrupts. âThe girl looked as though sheâd been attacked. She was confused, and her clothes were in tatters. Not to mention she looked like sheâd been dragged through a hedge backward.â
I scrub my hands over my face in annoyance. This is why people fear the Wild Pack because of idiots like Davy!
Fine, people should fear us; weâre dangerous. However, we live in the wilderness, away from other packs, and keep ourselves to ourselves. We donât go looking for trouble, and trouble doesnât usually find us.
The Lycan King isnât a fan of our little pack of misfits. But we chose this life; itâs the only one my brothers, and I know. We arenât made for civilization and never get invited to events outside the pack. Not that weâd attend if we were invited, but that is not the point.
I am the Alpha of the Wild Pack, a small community of seventy. Weâve grown over the past couple of years, what with some pack members finding mates outside our pack. Their mates are welcome to join, and many have. All they have to do is swear loyalty to me and the pack and keep our location secret. If they canât do that, theyâre killed, simple. I donât accept disloyalty!
Weâre hidden for a reason, to keep us safe from the outside world. Many out there would love nothing more than to end us. But luckily, we are not classed as rogues because weâre a pack, and we have the Queenâs blessing if no one elseâs.
Now these idiots have brought an unknown woman into the pack. I do not allow just anyone onto my territory, and this woman could be a spy! I donât care what she looked like when they found her; she shouldnât have been able to find our home because itâs well hidden. Not once in my life has anyone accidentally stumbled upon our home.
So how did this woman do just that?
Only one way to find out.
âI suppose you better take me to her.â
I follow Alex and Davy out of my cabin home. My cabin is farther back than any other, so I can watch over my pack. Not that there are many other cabins, just enough to house each family. We live in the wild, but weâre not beasts. We donât have cell phones or much of anything in the way of technology, but we do have running water. We hunt for food, grow most of it, and make our own clothes.
Thatâs not to say I donât send some of my wolves into nearby towns to pick up anything we canât live without. Goddess knows there is plenty you canât forage in the wild â toilet paper being one of them. Though we do make our own soaps and shampoos.
We live in the wild, but that doesnât mean weâre dirty or want to stink. We spend most of our time outdoors because that is where weâre at home. The packâs pups are always filthy, and seeing them having fun in the forest brings me great pride. That is just the way it should be.
I smell it before I know whatâs happening â the wind through the trees, freshly mown grass, and fresh linen.
Oh!
I do not want a mate!
I have to keep it to myself, though I donât know how my wolf will react once he sees the new girl. Thatâs who my mate is; it couldnât be anyone else; I would have known by now.
âIf you think Iâll let you reject or ignore our mate for one second, youâre mental.â
âZion, we donât need a mate. Do not act up and try to push forward...â
âOr what?â He cuts me off with a chuckle. âThereâs all you can do to stop me, Kai, and you know it.â
âIâm warning you, Zion. This girl will be frightened enough, donât do anything stupid.â
Zion doesnât answer me, and I hope I got through to him. Weâre already at Davyâs cabin, where his mate, Iona, is caring for the girl.
I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and will myself to act as though sheâs nobody. I walk into the cabin ahead of Davy and Alex. I am the Alpha, and no one walks ahead of me! Even if this is Davyâs home.
Why did they bring the girl here?
Surely she would be terrified of Davy after what he did?
Then again, Iona is the pack doctor, so it made sense.
âAlpha,â Iona gets to her feet from the chair she was sitting in, but my eyes lock on the girl backing away from me.
Gosh, sheâs fine!
Sheâs beyond beauty, with eyes of deep, dark blue, long brown hair, a slim waist, and curvy hips, and she is mine!
No!
I canât think like that; I do not need a mate. What I need to do is keep my head. I never wanted a mate because I didnât want to lose her like my father did my mother. Growing up without a mom was harder, but not as hard as it could have been. My brother and I at least had our father, the mate bond didnât take him as Jen, an oracle that lives within the pack, had told us.
No, my father was granted a second chance mate when I was sixteen. By then, I didnât need a mother, though my brother and I got along just fine with Dadâs second chance mate.
I have no idea what Iâm going to do about this mate problem. All I know is that now that the girl has seen this place, she can never leave. Having her close to me is going to be a massive problem.
Argh!
Iona is banging on about something, but Iâm not listening. I canât take my eyes off the girl now clutching at the wall behind her. Sheâs terrified; any idi.ot can see that. But I can see the pain in her eyes, the kind of pain that is agonizing. Sheâs struggling to stay on her feet, and I wonder just where sheâs wounded.
âWhat is your name?â I ask while trying not to fold my arms across my chest. I donât want to intimidate the girl more than she already feels.
The girl looks at Iona, her whole body shaking.
âAlpha?â I take a deep breath through my nose and reluctantly look at Iona. âHer name is Starr, but thatâs all she remembers. Whatever she went through caused her to lose her memory.â
I bit the inside of my lower lip in thought.
âOur mate is lost and alone, Kai.â
âI can see that, Zion. But what could have happened to cause a wolf to lose their memory?â
âSomething terrible, Kai. Sheâs in pain, and I can sense something is wrong with her head. You must heal the wound before it takes her life, Kai.â
Great.
I might not have wanted a mate, but I donât want her dead, either. I canât sense any ill will coming from the girl, and I would have known because itâs one of my abilities. However, that is not to say she didnât have ill intent before she lost her memory. But right now, sheâs innocent and on the verge of losing her life.
I look at Starr. âDo you not want to speak to me?â
Iâm a big guy. I have to be being the Alpha. Iâm six foot four, built full of muscle, but not overly. My hair is long past my shoulders; because that is the way of my people. All males have long hair, though some have different styles. Take Davy, for instance; the sides of his head are shaved, yet the rest of his hair is extremely long.
âPlease donât let him hurt me,â Comes my mateâs sweet, scared, timid voice.
âHim?â I tilt my head slightly.
With a shaky finger, Starr points at Davy.
âWhat did you do to her, you devil?!â I snap into the mind link.
âI smacked her across the face with the back of my hand. It knocked her out, but I did it so she wouldnât remember the way to the pack.â
âYou stupid! She had a head injury that youâve probably made worse!â I cut him off before he can reply. Iâm not interested in anything he has to say.
I donât tolerate the abuse of females, no matter where they come from. Okay, if they mean to harm my pack, then Iâll kill them. But harming one just because you can is not what I or this pack is about. I donât care what Davy thought was for the best; heâll be reprimanded for what he did just as soon as Iâve helped my little mate.
I can sense the wolf within. No, sheâs not a regular wolf.
Lycan?
Hmmp!
But at least she isnât human. I donât want humans in my pack knowing about us. Every human Iâve encountered had been vile and tried to kill us, and thankfully, we have a witch amongst us who wiped their memories, then sent them on their way. Not that there have been many humans weâve ever come into contact with, and you shouldnât band each species together. The sins of a few are not the sins of all, but it makes you more cautious.
âStarr?â Starr looks at Iona. âDavy is my mate, my husband. . .â
âHe is? But he hurt me.â Starr swallows hard as tears fall from her frightened eyes.
âHe didnât mean to cause you pain.â
âEnough!â I growl at Iona, who bowes submissively, while Starr whimpers. I look at her and soften my eyes. âNo one is going to hurt you, Starr. I am in charge here, and I promise I wonât let anyone harm you. Can you tell me what happened to you?â
âI donât know,â She whispers with tears in her eyes.
âIona,â I look to Davyâs mate. âYou helped her get cleaned up?â
âYes, my Alpha.â
âDid you notice any injuries?â
Iona nods. âToo many bruises to count, and she isnât healing quickly enough. So Iâm guessing her...â
âHer what? Lycan?â
âLycan? What!?â
âShut up, Davy! Your mate is a Lycan, you dumb!â
âOh, yeah.â He mumbles.
Crazy.
âYes, my Alpha,â Iona continues. âHer Lycan is dormant or in Sleep Status because of the trauma. But the main concern is that I felt a crack in her skull while washing her hair.â
âA crack where?â
With her fingertip, Iona moves it from across the left side of her head. From behind the ear to the temple.
âItâs big, Alpha, and Iâm worried about what itâs doing to her. I gave Starr Dolgran before her shower, and it took away some of the pain, though I fear itâs merely masking the pain. But even Dolgran didnât help heal her head. Iâm scared, Alpha. . .â
Iona leaves her thoughts hanging in the air, but I know what sheâs trying to say. Starr will die if I donât help her.
Something terrible happened for a Lycan to be injured enough not to heal or bring them close enough to die.
âAll of you leave.â
âAlpha?â
I growl at Davy, and he bows along with Alex and Iona. Everyone knows of my gift, but that doesnât mean I want people gawking at me while I use it.
You see, I was blessed as a child with the ability to heal. Dad always swore it came from my mother, her being a deity and all. Perhaps it did, but I never knew her; she died giving birth to my brother.
Youâd think the daughter of the Moon Goddess would have lived forever. But sadly, even a deity can lose their human body if the trauma becomes too much. It did for my mother, and Selene took her daughter back to the celestial realm.
I only realized I had the ability when I was fourteen. My father had been shot by a silver bullet, and we were losing him. I placed my hands over the wound, white light shot out of my hands, and the injury vanished. Dad was healed, and my brother and I werenât left as orphans.
The pack was much smaller then, just twelve members. But it didnât stop them from wanting me to use my gift every chance that arose. I use my ability only when absolutely necessary and not for minor things.
However, if Iona is correct, Starr has a cracked skull. If that didnât scream necessary, nothing would.
I have to help her. Thereâs a reason my grandmother paired me with this woman. I canât and wonât throw this gift back in her face, no matter how often I tell myself I donât want a mate.
Starr looks at me through glassy eyes, and I can tell her body is fighting to stay standing. She doesnât have long, and I must act now.
âPlease donât be afraid of me, Starr. Iâm not going to hurt you, I promise.â
âWhat are you going to do to me?â
I step closer until Iâm right in front of her. Her body trembles as I reach my hands toward her head. Starr whimpers when, without touching her, I slide my hands over her head. I find the crack in the side of her skull almost instantly. Iona was right; this is bad.
I gently press my hands to Starrâs head with my eyes closed. I feel my power warm at my fingertips. I concentrate, letting the healing light flow from me to Starr until her body sags against me.
I hold onto her as my ability fades, and I run my hand over where the wound was to find it gone. I smile while lifting her bridal style. Thank the Goddess! I canât bring Starrâs memories back, but I can ensure she lives, which she will now that the wound is gone.
I could leave Starr here with Iona, but she was scared of Davy after what he did. So sheâs coming with me.
This is such a bad idea, but I suddenly canât bear the thought of her not being by my side.
Oh, Grandmother Selene, what have you done?
Iâm doomed, I am well and truly doomed!
Starr
I wake feeling warm and toasty. I donât remember a time I ever felt this comfortable. I inwardly roll my eyes at how stupid I am; I donât remember anything!
I donât remember falling asleep, but itâs clear someone put me to bed. I blink against the morning light coming through the window. The sun is shining, and I canât help smiling. My head no longer hurts, but then nothing hurts. I feel great! Apart from not remembering who I am and where I came from, anyway.
Did I dream everything that happened yesterday?
âGood, youâre awake.â
I gasp and bolt upright in bed. My eyes widen upon seeing the Alpha standing at the bottom of the bed, staring at me.
Does this man never wear a shirt?
He was covered in tattoos from his shoulders to the bottom of his stomach. I donât know if he has any on his back; I canât see around him. But I imagine he does when his arms are almost covered in the things.
Strangely, they suit him and make him look more intimidating, sexy even. There are all sorts of strange designs, though none have color. But the massive wolf tattooed across his chest is shaded beautifully. Whoever did that for him has some real talent.
âIf youâre quite done checking me out,â I blink, eyes meeting his and the smirk on his face.
Goddess, heâs handsome. It should be criminal for a man to look the way the Alpha does. Those deep, soulful eyes, those pouty, plush lips, those muscled arms, broad shoulders, and that eight-pack... He is wearing trousers, but I can see he has thick thighs, and I wonder if heâs well-endowed in "that" department. Goddess, heâd be the perfect man!
Why was I even thinking about his thing?
What is wrong with me?
Why is my heart pounding like this?
âIâm sorry,â I mumble.
âYou have nothing to be sorry for, Starr. Iâve made breakfast for you.â
I smile because that was really sweet.
I climb out of bed, and the Alpha points out the bathroom. This must be his house because it is definitely not Ionaâs. I donât know how I feel about being here, but Iâm glad Iâm no longer at Ionaâs. Realizing Davy was her mate threw me for a loop.
How could she be so nice when he was a pig?
I use the toilet, then brush my teeth with the toothbrush the Alpha said was mine. I comb my hair with a hairbrush I found on the window sill and sigh. This is as good as it gets. I donât have anything to change into, so Iâm stuck wearing the nightgown Iona gave me yesterday.
This little village is a strange place to be. Iona told me that there was electricity here, but they didnât have any technology. Years ago, they didnât even have houses, let alone working toilets! They donât have washing machines, dryers, microwaves, etc. Though they do have a laundry room where some of the older pack members wash all of the clothes for the pack. There are no TVs, phones, internet, fridges, or freezers.
Iona then explained that everyone eats as a family once a week, outside beside a roaring fire. The Alpha expects everyone to attend, with no exceptions.
The pack forages for food, even growing their own vegetables. The pack has a couple of cows and some chickens, but I have yet to hear them, let alone see them. The pack makes its own clothes, shampoos, soap, candles, and even medicines.
She did explain how one or two pack members would run into the nearest town once a month. There they sell some of the food theyâve grown and extra clothes, soap, and such theyâve made at the market.
With the money they make, they would buy essentials that no one could live without, such as toilet paper. They pick up anything the pack might need that they canât make or forgae themselves. Whatever money is left over goes to the Alpha, and they make a nice little profit from the market.
Iona told me about her life before this pack and how everything was very different. She said it was hard to adjust at first, but she soon learned to live without everything that makes regular packs comfortable. She was only grateful the Wild Pack had cabin homes with soft beds and blankets. She didnât think she could live outside like rogues.
I donât know about the other cabins, but Ionaâs house had one bedroom, a bathroom, an open living room, and a kitchen.
Why do they need kitchens if they have nothing that a regular kitchen would have?
They still prepare food each day and boil water for tea or coffee. Yes, strangely, they have kettles! These people are really odd.
From what Iâve seen of the Alphas cabin, there is a bedroom, bathroom, open living room, and kitchen, like Ionaâs. But there was another door just past the bathroom, but I dared not open the door. I donât want to seem rude and route around in someone elseâs home. Besides, he might have gotten angry with me, and I didnât want that.
I make my way to the kitchen. The Alpha is sitting at a small table made for four, waiting for me. There is nothing much in this room besides a kettle on the countertop and a two-ring hob that looks like it is plugged into the wall. I guess thatâs one way to cook food. There is no oven, and I wonder where he cooks anything else.
There is a small sofa in the living room area, a lone chair, and a handcrafted coffee table. Thereâs a fireplace with what looks like an open fire, and I wonder if it has ever been lit.
The whole cabin is clean and smells nice. Thatâs when I notice the candles on the coffee table and realize they must be scented. Itâs incredible what these people have done with the place. Itâs homey and comfortable, even if it is sparse. They live within their means, never collecting anything they can live without.
âCome take a seat,â The Alpha pushes a chair away from the table with his foot.
I swallow hard and sit beside him, pulling the chair in as I go. âThank you.â
âI wasnât sure what you liked, so I put out a little bit of everything.â
There is a bowl of strawberries, blueberries, and even grapes. Thereâs toast, eggs, bacon and sausages, tea, coffee, and even a small bowl of butter.
I am so confused right now.
How did he get all of this?
He chuckles at the expression on my face. âYouâre wondering how I got all of this, arenât you?â
I shrug. âKind of.â
âThe fruit we grow, eggs are from the chickens we raise, butter we make ourselves,â I keep my eyes on his handsome face when he speaks, just as he keeps eye contact with me. âWe make our own bread, which we toast on the open fire. We get milk from the cows we keep, but we buy the bacon, sausage, tea, coffee, sugar, etc., in bulk from town. We keep the meat in cold storage at the edge of the village, just in case you were wondering about all of that.â He chuckles.
I smile because he is nothing like I imagined. Heâs kind and intelligent, and heâs caring. Yes, he has a deep voice, and he is really tall and built, but there is something special about him that I canât put my finger on.
âHelp yourself, sweetheart. Iâll show you around after breakfast.â
I smile wide because I canât help myself. He called me sweetheart, and it didnât occur to me to mind. In fact, it made me tingle inside.
Whatâs up with that?
I canât stop the thoughts swimming through my head as I eat my food. It doesnât matter that I canât remember who I am or where I came from. It doesnât because all I can think about is being here with this man.
How could that be when I donât even know his name?
Once Iâve had my fill of breakfast, which I ate a lot of, I pluck up the courage to speak to the Alpha. I want to know if heâll allow me to stay here or if I will have to leave soon. I donât know what Iâll do if he asks me to leave. I have nowhere to go.
âAlpha?â
âMy name is Kai. You may call me by my given name, though no one else but my family does.â
I know I should ask him what I intended, but he stumped me with what he said.
âIf no one else can call you by your given name, why are you allowing me to?â
âDo you not know?â I shake my head. Kai sighs. âBecause you are my mate, Starr.â
Iâm what now?
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