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| Body | Nonviolent communication (NVC) is a multipart communication model first developed by Marshall B. Rosenberg, PhD in the 1960s. It emphasizes 4 components: Observations, feelings, needs and requests. The idea behind NVC is that conflict is inevitable, and can be navigated ethically and in a way that accounts for the universal human needs of emotional safety, interpersonal connection and acceptance. Learning the language of NVC involves becoming skilled at observing our feelings, determining our related needs, and learning how to effectively verbalize requests. ~ Imago Dialogue, developed by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt in the 1980s, offers a similar framework for productive communication, focusing less on expression of needs and more on the basic steps to effective communication: Mirroring, validation and empathy. Other frameworks, including restorative justice practices, provide additional roadmaps for effective communication and meaningful conflict resolution. The exact model chosen may be less important than the intention behind developing the capacity to skillfully manage conflict. It is also useful to engage in new frameworks collaboratively, rather than to attempt to impose a framework on someone you are already in conflict with who does not share the same skillset. Insistence on one “right way” to navigate conflict and assuming the “expert” role in the process creates an unhelpful power imbalance that undermines resolution and repair. In many cases, especially when conflict is ongoing, it is helpful to seek out the support of a neutral third party (a relationship therapist, coach, mediator etc.) to avoid such power imbalances, increase accountability, collaboratively repair harm done and also gain a deeper understanding of the underlying factors contributing to the conflict in the first place. #conflict #relationships #nonviolentcommunication #relationshiptherapy |
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