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Cindi Love

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Happy National Coming Out Day. #ComingOutDay

Today is a touchpoint for our entire family. Our son, Joshua, was one of the youngest volunteers ever at the original offices for National Coming Out Day in Santa Fe. He was 15 years old (35 years ago) and we had moved him there because he was bullied in his local high school by some teachers and students and was very depressed about the prospects of living in Abilene, Texas as a proud gay man. A beautifully spirited friend and colleague, Claire Gullahorn, gave him a safe landing place in Santa Fe. Thank you so much.

An amazing human being named Lynn Shepod, who was part of the original crew at NCOD with Dr, Rob Eichberg and Sean Strub, took him under her wing, mentored him, supported him and I credit her largely with his decision to come out with pride and face whatever he had to face to be whole. I remember when he sent me a letter before he came out and the return address was in NCOD in Santa Fe, New Mexico. I had no idea what it was and I asked him later and that’s how I learned about this extraordinary community of people who helped him so much. Jean O’Leary formed the non profit and Keith Haring created the logo and the rest is incredible, heart stopping and singing history. Truthfully, between my daughter and spouse, our son, our 13 openly gay cousins and my story, there are 100’s of coming out stories to be told, but the one that matters most is the one that will be told by the next young person or middle-aged person, like I was when I came out, or grandmother who realizes that coming out is truly an act of love as Dr.Eichberg first said. It is the most loving thing to do for ourselves, our family, our friends and the world with large because it simply says, I am a beautiful human being born into this world for purpose and joy. Whatever struggle there is in being my authentic self, I am capable of facing that struggle, if necessary, finding family of choice and community to love me all the way through to who I am and want to be. I am forever grateful to Honey Ward for leading The Experience workshop in which I began the journey of coming out and to Brian Severts, my first real gay friend in Minneapolis who reassured me that it was safe to hold Sue’s hand in public. That was 29 years ago. I was 40 years old, had just sold my company to the Toro Company, traveled the globe unaccompanied and unafraid. In every aspect of my life except the “gay” one, I felt centered, but if asked about my gay brother, my gay son or, heaven help us, the possibility of gay me, I trembled with anxiety. I cannot say how I felt after coming out except unencumbered. Like a shroud lifted, a veil removed. My energy and inner peace tripled. And in ten years, exponentially expanded along with my consciousness of how fear could limit love. And now, in the end zone of my life, I am so grateful. Mary Oliver tells us that “when the thumb of fear lifts, we are most alive”. That has been my truth and my prayer is that it can be true for everyone holding a secret and, therefore, only half a ticket to life. ❤️ I am still traveling the world doing my thing, meeting folx I love, hearing their stories, shaking few trees and, thankfully, in every moment I am free.

Cindi Love

https://www.facebook.com/RevDrCindiLove/

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