| Body |
I was stripped bare, baring my body in front of my bosses.
But itās okay, because I donāt think they like women.
Iāve seen Theo kissing Tobias, and this is nothingā¦.
Or so I thought.
Because now, theyāre both touching me.
āWe love women,ā Theo says, sucking on my rose.
āMate,ā Tobias smiles up at me as he touches my bust.
What is happening? Have I been mistaken all along?
What did he mean when he said āmateā?
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Chapter 1
I saw my two bosses, Theo and Tobias, kissing.
I must admit it was hot, and it kind of turned me on until Tobias noticed me standing gawking, which made Theo freeze, and then it got awkward and tense. I ran from the room. They never mentioned it, so I assumed I was let off the hook. I added that memory to the it never happened file of my brain.
It's a shame they are both gay. They are the hottest gay couple I have ever seen. Both muscular and tall, Tobias is the more imposing one. He seems to be more serious and sometimes I get these chilling vibes off him that send shivers down my spine from the intensity of his gaze. Sometimes when he is speaking to me, he gets this far away expression on his face like he is looking straight through me instead of at me. I swear one time, I thought I heard him growl at me. But I know that's insane. People don't growl, not like a predator does. I put it down to the 18 hours shift I did that day.
Tobias Kane is tall dark haired and muscular 5 o'clock shadow strong jaw and sharp piercing blue eyes. Theo Madden on the other hand has softer features. He is just as tall as Tobias but has a very casual laidāback attitude and brown hair that's short on the sides and a little longer on top. He has grey eyes and high cheekbones. Both are breathtakingly handsome. Even after all this time working here, I still get stunned by their godlike appearances.
I'm incredibly surprised I haven't been fired; I have been caught way too many times daydreaming, staring off into space having very inappropriate thoughts about my bosses. But I also know I'm extremely good at my job. No one has lasted this long as their secretary, and no one is willing to do the sometimesācrazy hours I have endured in my position.
Once I finished checking my laptop, I checked the time. It was 8:30 AM. I still had half an hour before my bosses arrived. Slipping out of my seat, I walked to the bathroom with my handbag. I set my makeup on the counter and pulled my brush out. I started to brush my unruly waist length blonde hair. After deciding to pull it into a high ponytail, I grabbed my toothbrush and toothpaste and quickly brushed my teeth. I also applied some mascara to my already long thick eyelashes and some eyeliner to brighten my dark green eyes before putting on some red lipstick. It contrasted nicely with my fair skin.
I am so glad this floor has no cameras because it would be so embarrassing if my bosses found out about my morning routine. Plus they would see me in all my morning bedhead (or car head) glory. Tom doesn't count. He doesn't care what I look like, and I am always comfortable around him. But if anyone else saw me, I think it might be a bit awkward.
Once I am finished, I quickly duck into the small kitchenette and start getting their coffees ready for their arrival. I hear the elevator ding just as I finish making them. I place them on a tray and quickly walk back to my desk tray in hand.
---
Tobias is the first to step out of the elevator, he is in his black suit today, accompanied by a white shirt and silver tie. His head is down, staring at his phone. He grabs his coffee off the tray without even glancing up at me and walks directly into his office. Theo on the other hand has a grey suit on, and the top three buttons on his white shirt are undone, exposing part of his chest. I have yet to see him ever as polished as Tobias, or in a tie for that matter. Theo stops, grabs his mug, and has a sip. "Good morning, Imogen," he says with a wink before walking into his office across from Tobias.
I can't help the blush that creeps up, making my face heat up. I quickly place the tray back in the kitchen before grabbing the tablet off my desk. I hesitantly stand at the door to Tobias office, hoping to god he is in a good mood today. Just before I knock, he sings out.
"You going to enter or stand out there all day?" His husky deep voice makes me jump before I open the door enough to quickly slip in. Tobias is sitting at his desk, fingers typing away at his laptop. He still hasn't looked up. I stand there moving from foot to foot awkwardly. I find Mr Kane very intimidating, he is always so formal, so serious. When I haven't spoken, he looks up, his eyes pinning me where I stand. My hands tremble slightly at his intense gaze. He cocks his head to the side waiting for me to speak, snapping me to my senses. I step forward, clutching the tablet in my hands like a shield while checking his schedule.
"You have a meeting at 12 with Mr Jacobs. I have also forwarded the proposals ready for your meeting, and I am sending through now the emails received in reply to the conference meeting you held last Thursday."
"Is that all?"
"No sir, I need you to sign off on the charity fundraiser for the hospital."
"So where is the document?"
I quickly look at my hands, realising I left the only required piece of paper on my desk. I internally facepalm myself. I hold my finger up. Tobias rolls his eyes at me, clearly annoyed by my mistake with his hand open waiting for the document. "Ah oneāminute sir."
I hear him sigh, annoyed. I duck out and retrieve the document before sliding it on the desk in front of him. He instantly signs it before passing it back to me, not even looking at me and instantly going back to typing on his laptop.
I can't help but notice that he looks tired. Dark circles hang under his normally vibrant blue eyes, and his skin is a little paler than his normal golden tan. I stare off in space, completely forgetting what I'm supposed to be doing, too busy admiring my boss. Mr Kane clears his throat awkwardly, dragging me from my thoughts. He raises his eyebrow at me, catching me checking him out.
"Oh, sorry sir." I stumble over the words. He shakes his head and I hear him chuckle. I turn around embarrassed, running from the room and closing the door.
Mr Kane always makes me flustered. I always feel cloudy in their presence, I have even forgotten to breathe. The last time it happened, I passed out. To be fair, I hadn't eaten so my brain was already mush. I awoke to Theo's concerned face leaning over me, all while Tobias just stared at me like I was mentally challenged. Like seriously who forgets to breathe? It is meant to be a basic bodily function, and I can't even get that right.
That was the day I realised why no one wants this job. It is incredibly hard to focus on work around them, they can become a distraction without meaning to. I also find Mr Kane can be quite horrible. I don't think he realises the nasty things he says when he is angry. Luckily for him I have tough skin and desperately need this job. I also make sure I have my tablet in my hand every time I do go into his office on the off chance he throws something. I watched him hit the tech guy with a drink bottle once when he was in a fit of rage. Seriously, the bloke has anger issues and needs some therapy or something.
ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦
Everyone walks on eggshells around him except for Theo. The tech guy hasn't been back since.
A few days later, the company held a reception.
I noticed Tobias watching me over his glass.
Book 1 Chapter 2
I fiddled with the cup between my fingers. Bringing his drink to his lips, he downed every drop of it. I smelt my drink before scrounging my nose up, it smelt sweeter than vodka. Nothing was as harsh as vodka or tequila. Bringing the glass to my lips, I downed it in one mouthful. It was sweet and smooth tasting. It burned a bit but not like some of the bottles of liquor I had stored in my boot, especially the cheaper bottles mum liked to drink.
Standing up, I went to place the glass down when Tobias grabbed it and refilled it before passing it back to me. I raised an eyebrow at him, but I accepted the glass. Theo returned, the door lock clicking softly behind him.
In his hands he was clutching some boxes of paperwork. "We are being audited, so we need all these files sorted and all contracts arranged by dates. Get comfortable, it is going to be a long night." Tobias spoke clearly. I looked at the four boxes Theo carried in, knowing it wasn't even half of them. Downing the glass of whiskey, I sat on the floor and started pulling files from the boxes.
Halfway through the night, someone ordered more food and brought coffees up to us. I am not sure when they had time to order anything, as I never saw them pick up their phones once to order anything, but I was glad. We had worked well into the night and I was exhausted. When it came time to close the building up at 9PM, Tobias looked up at the security guard who had stepped in the office to let us know he was about to lock up.
"You guys go. There isn't much left, and I will get it done and head off soon." Tobias and Theo looked unsure but eventually agreed to leave. They gave me a set of keys to get out of the building as well as the security code to set the alarms on my way out.
When I finished the last box, I stacked them neatly on top of each other before checking the time, it was 2 am. I only had 3 files sitting out. Getting comfy on the lounge, I dragged them in front of me. My eyes were starting to hurt, and all the words were starting to blur into one. My fingers felt numb from scouring the pages.
---
I was jostled awake by warm hands, files falling off my lap onto the floor. Shit, I had fallen asleep. I scrambled to my feet in a panic. Tobias looked at me, taken aback by my dishevelled appearance. Tobias pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head at me. I fought the urge to yawn and stretch like a cat.
"You were supposed to head home, have you been working all night?"
"Shit" My hands leapt to my mouth at the language I used in front of my boss. "I must have dozed off... Just give me a minute and I will get cleaned up for the meeting."
Theo stepped into the office looking gorgeous as ever in his grey suit. He took in my appearance. My shirt was all wrinkled, my hair was a mess, god knows what my face looked like, but I knew it wouldn't be pretty, and I would probably look like a raccoon from my eye makeup. He raised an eyebrow at Tobias.
"She fell asleep working," he stated, clearly not happy that I was asleep yet again at work.
If only they knew I slept here every night, just not in the office. I smiled to myself at the thought. If they thought this was crazy, they would completely freak out if they knew the carpark was my current residence.
Moving towards me, Theo gripped my blouse. I squeaked at his closeness and stepped back. Theo reached for me again and gripped the bottom of my blouse, his fingers brushing my stomach as he pulled my blouse off over my head. I quickly covered up my purple lace bra, trying to hide from his lingering gaze on my chest. I had great tits, but that didn't mean I wanted to show them off to my boss.
Tobias opened a door that appeared to be a closet of sorts. No matter the amount of time I had spent in this office, I had never known there was a closet in the wall. Inside was a couple of men's shirts hanging up. How had I never seen that the wall had a cupboard in it? Are there other hidden compartments? What else is hiding in here?
Grabbing a white shirt off the hanger, Tobias walked over to me and stood in front of me. Theo had moved to my side and was watching. Tobias went to grab my hands away from my chest, but I pulled back and stepped out of reach refusing to uncover myself. Tobias' eyes grew darker under the lighting making me squirm under his intense gaze.
"We have a meeting in five minutes, and you can't go in there like that." He reached for my wrist again.
"I can dress myself," I said, reaching for the shirt with one hand. As soon as my hand left my chest, he shoved my arm in the arm hole of the shirt and spun me quickly so my other arm was in the other one. I gave up and let him finish dressing me. I wasn't their type; it is not like they will be gawking at my breasts.
"Suppose it isn't like it matters with you both being gay," I said, realising I was being childish about being half naked in front of them.
Tobias' hands froze at my cleavage where he was doing up the buttons. Theo came over and started rolling up my sleeves with a silly grin on his face. I could tell he was trying not to laugh. I watched silently, they seemed to be amused by something. I raised an eyebrow at Tobias who still had his fingers on the button right between my breasts, he looked like he was deep in thought.
Theo snorted, trying to hold in his laugh almost choking on it.
"What?" I asked, annoyed that I wasn't being let in on this inside joke of theirs.
"We aren't gay," Tobias said a smirk on his face. Meeting his gaze, he quickly looked back towards the shirt he was buttoning up. I felt my skin heat up, the blood rushing to my face. I have worked here all this time thinking they were gay. How did I read that wrong? I saw them kissing...
"You're not gay?" I asked, incredulous. My eyebrows disappearing into my hairline.
"Definitely not gayā¦ we both like women," Theo said, rolling the sleeves of my shirt up. I just got semi naked in front of my bosses. What were they thinking? That is a lawsuit waiting to happen, not that I would sue them. I need my job, but this little scene suddenly felt mortifying.
"But I saw you kissing his neck," I spat out the sentence like word vomit. Tobias raised an eyebrow at me.
"Not everything you see is what it appears to be."
"Well, I'm pretty sure I didn't imagine it, and you both live together."
"We share a home, but that's not all we like to share," Theo's voice says behind me. Making me jump at his closeness, his breath was cold on my neck and made me shiver.
Book 1 Chapter 3
"We aren't gay, we like women too," Tobias emphasised the last word.
Shaking my head, I walked out of the office. I could have sworn I heard them both chuckle as I walked out.
The meeting seemed to drag on for hours. When I walked in, a few people's heads turned at my shirt choice, but no one said anything. Even if they wanted to, I doubt they would have dared with Tobias and Theo walking in directly behind me. Whenever they were around, people seemed to disappear or walk away in the opposite direction. No one liked crossing their path for fear of losing their jobs or being yelled at or having something thrown at them.
The fact that every other secretary quit under them shows how demanding they can be. Once the meeting was over, I hastily left the room, going back to my desk, when my phone rang. It was the hospital calling. I didn't hesitate to answer. "Hello."
"Imogen, it's me Sally." Her voice was urgent, and she was speaking in a rush. My heart instantly skipped a beat. I had been waiting for this call, I just wasn't expecting it to be today.
"The Medical Ethics Board has ruled against you. They have decided to turn your mother's life support off, saying it is no longer medically viable to have her remain on life support."
My lungs constricted painfully, the pressure almost unbearable. I was preparing myself for this phone call. I thought I was prepared to say goodbye. But I'm not... I suddenly felt like I was choking, and I started hyperventilating. I couldn't afford to pass out now. Not when my mother needs me. My heart felt like it fell into my stomach. I fought the tears from spilling over. Grasping the phone, my knuckles felt like they were going to split through my skin.
"Wheeā¦. When?" My voice was shaking so terribly, I was surprised Sally could understand me. I couldn't even recognise the simple word that just came out of my mouth.
"Tonight, Imogen. I'm so sorry." I hung up the phone in a daze. I felt like I was on autopilot as I grabbed my keys and handbag. My hands were shaking as I tried to think of what I was supposed to be doing at this moment. Gathering the few things I needed, I made my way to the elevator. My body was in panic mode as I tried to fight my emotions, trying to hold myself together. Just as I went to press the button the doors opened. Tobias and Theo stepped out of the elevator.
They were talking but stopped immediately as I stepped into the elevator, moving between them. They turned around both looking at me. Theo spoke but I couldn't hear a word he was saying, going deaf to my surroundings. He tried to reach out and grab me, but I put my hands up. They were shaking uncontrollably.
"Don't touch me, Iā¦ I need to go," I stammered out before hitting the button repeatedly to go down to the ground floor. They quickly stepped out of the way of the closing doors, concern etched on both their faces.
I knew they were concerned, but right now I didn't care to explain my current situation. Not that it involved them, or that they would care. I just needed to get to her. Get to my mum.
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I watched the buttons light up for each floor I went down, it was like time slowed as I watched the numbers tick down. I was nervous, impatient, and trying to hold all my pieces together, Sally's voice going through my mind on repeat, repeating the words that I felt would stop my heart from beating. Only there it was still thumping painfully in my chest.
When the elevator doors opened on the bottom floor, I took off running, my shoulder smashing into the elevator door having not had enough time to open completely on my way out. The hospital wasn't far, and I made it there in under five minutes. My heels slid on the floor outside my mother's ward door as I gripped the door handle and walked in.
The ward was full of doctors moving other patients out. Sally stood amongst them, her green scrubs standing out amongst the doctors in their white coats. Sally was looking at the clock, probably wondering if I was going to get here in time. Seeing me, she came rushing over and wrapped her arms around me. "I'm so sorry, Imogen."
I nodded, watching as another patient was wheeled out and transferred to another room, leaving only my mother, a doctor, Sally, and myself.
The doctor was an older woman in her fifties. She had greying hair that reached her shoulders, pulled back with a clip, kind soft brown eyes, and pale complexion. She was wearing a doctor's coat and white scrubs. Her name tag read Laurel.
"Hi, you must be Imogen?" she said, reaching out and grasping my hand softly between hers.
"The Medical Ethics Board has decided to remove your mother from life support. In doing so I will just prepare you for what will happen next." I stared at her, my face completely blank. I think I was in shock, but at the same time I understood everything she said, even nodded a few times.
When she was done, she asked If I wanted some time alone with my mother. I nodded my head and they both walked out, leaving me alone with her. I walked slowly over to her bed and held onto her hand. Looking down at her, she looked like she was just sleeping, her face was slack with the tube hanging out of it keeping her breathing. I stroked her hair gently.
"Mumma, it's me, your Immy. They have decided to turn your life support off." I stared at her, hoping for some miracle. But there was none. I could hear Sally and the doctor talking softly outside the door. None of this felt real.
"If you can hear me, mum, please know I'm sorry. I tried; I really did. I love you Mumma, but I have to let you go."
The time had come. I was preparing myself for this but why didn't I feel like I prepared at all. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say to her now that this was goodbye. So instead, I just held her hand, rubbing circles into her soft skin. The doctor walked in with Sally. I looked up when they entered, Sally looked heartbroken for me and I turned away from her. I couldn't handle seeing the sadness in her eyes.
I knew once I let myself cry, I would never stop. So instead, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, telling myself I could do this, hardening my resolve. The doctor asked me to step out so she could remove the tubes and switch everything off. I shook my head at her.
When she pulled the tube out of her throat, my mother made a gurgling noise and started gasping, but the doctor said it was the body's normal reaction. I squeezed my mothers' hand tighter, trying to ignore the noises her body was making. The doctor then unhooked all the machines that had now started beeping loudly.
When she was done, she squeezed my shoulder tightly before walking over to the side. The doctor said my mother could last a few hours or go quickly. Mum went quickly. Her breathing slowed, her lips started to turn blue, her body even convulsed, making me jump to my feet. I wrapped my arms around her neck pressing my head to hers.
"It's alright, Mumma. I'm right here, I'm right here," I told her. After a few seconds, it stopped and so did her breathing. Her chest no longer rose up and down. The room went silent, the only noise was my heavy breathing. I lifted my head from hers, Mum's skin went dull and lifeless, and her hand lost its warmth. I knew she was gone. The doctor walked over and placed a stethoscope on her chest and listened before nodding, confirming her heart was no longer beating.
I stared at my mother's dead body lying on the gurney, she was gone. I would never hear her voice again, never hold her again. I couldn't handle it anymore. Getting up, I pulled the blanket up, tucking her in as if she were asleep and I was saying good night instead of goodbye. I leaned down and kissed her head. My lips quivered and my eyes burned with tears that wanted to fall.
Book 1 Chapter 4
I just stared down at her. Now what, I just leave and never come back here? Turning around, I walk out in a daze, almost robotic. When I stepped into the blue corridor, Sally tried to grab my hand, but I pulled away from her touch. I didn't want to be touched; I knew I would break. I was nearly to the end of the corridor when Tobias stepped into my view. I don't know what he saw on my face, but he tried to reach for me. I quickly stepped out of his reach. What is it with everyone and trying to touch me? I will not break; I will certainly not break in front of anyone. Tears are weakness. I am not weak. My mother didn't raise a weakling.
I kept walking, I could hear people talking to me, I could hear Sally calling after me, but I just ignored them and kept on walking. I walked out of the hospital doors. My phone started vibrating in my bag that was slung over my shoulder. Ignoring it, I walked to the park across the road. I sat on the park bench; it was now dark. The stars were shining brightly down on me, the trees swaying in the wind. The night was cold and silent, the only noise I could hear was the beating of my own heart, which I was sure was broken beyond repair.
I felt absolutely nothing. I was completely numb, and I prayed I stayed that way. I didn't want to know what this pain was going to feel like. The wind was moving through my hair at rapid speeds, drops of rain were hitting my skin, I couldn't feel their coldness, I couldn't feel the sting of the wind on my skin. For the first time in my life, I didn't know what my next move was, I didn't have a plan. I realised I was in denial this entire time because I never planned past this point. I knew this time would come but I don't think I believed she would ever actually be gone. So instead, I let the rain fall drenching me where I sat. I didn't know what else to do, I had somehow made myself believe that she would pull through, even though my mind knew she wasn't coming back.
At some point I walked back to my car. I noticed Tom had left the car park door up slightly. He must have realised I wasn't in my car. I walked up to my car and popped the boot, grabbing a bottle. I popped the cap and started gulping the vodka down. I just wanted to go to sleep and try and forget about this day, or maybe wake up to find this was all just a nightmare, one I was just having trouble waking from. Only I knew it wasn't, it hurt too much, and you don't feel pain in dreams.
Getting into my car, I grabbed my duvet off the back seat and wrapped it around myself, seeking comfort in its warmth. I couldn't be bothered taking my wet clothes off, right now it just seemed like too much effort. After a while and a few more mouthfuls of my bottle of jet fuel, I slipped into the darkness of sleep.
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The next morning, I awoke in my cramped car, my neck twisted in an awkward position against the centre console. Twisting my neck and stretching the sore muscles, I rubbed the aching spot before sitting up to the sound of tapping on my driver's side window. Squinting I could just make out Tom standing outside with a coffee in hand and concern etched on his face.
Jumping up quickly I grabbed my phone. Shit, I slept through my alarm. Tom motioned his hand to the bonnet where he placed my coffee. "I will meet you at the ramp, kiddo."
I nodded. Getting up, I quickly raced to the boot and rummaged through, trying to find something decent to wear. I stunk heavily of vodka. I just wanted to sleep last night, and downed god knows how much till I passed out completely.
The memories of my mother painfully came back to me, but instead I shoved them aside, refusing to think of the shitstorm that has become my life. Finding a passable blouse, I smoothed it out as best I could and chucked my blazer over the top. Quickly ripping the hairbrush through my tangled hair. I clambered out of the car and stuffed my feet into my shoes while hopping on one foot and trying to walk to the bonnet of my car at the same time.
I grabbed the coffee off the bonnet and started jogging down the ramp towards Tom, who was waiting patiently for me next to the entrance doors. I quickly looked at my phone. I had ten minutes before my bosses arrived.
"Rough night, darl? That's the first time I've ever seen you sleep in."
"Yeah, it was pretty rough, thanks for waking me," I mumbled sipping my coffee. Tom walked me to the elevator before going about his duties. Once the doors binged open, I raced over to the bathroom and did a quick rush job of my make up. My face was puffy, and I looked like shit. No, I looked hung over with my bloodshot eyes and pale complexion. A slow ache was starting to make its way up to my eyes, deciding to sit directly at my temple. I knew the aftermath of drinking that much would have consequences, but I was prepared.
Once finished I quickly went to my bag and retrieved 3 Panadol and three Nurofen Zavance. I downed them with a glass of water. Mum's secret remedy for hangovers besides greasy food. I smiled at remembering her before my smile turned to a frown. I would never see her face again, let alone hear her endless advice, even the silly advice like how to avoid the morning hangover. I was shoved out of my sadness by the bing of the elevator.
Tobias and Theo stepped out. Their faces held shock upon seeing me. I remembered I still hadn't made the morning coffee. I apologised realising my mistake before racing to the kitchenette and making the coffee. Theo popped his head into the small kitchen door.
"Sorry I was a bit rushed for time this morning. I'm making them now," I sputtered out, concentrating on the task at hand. When I didn't hear a response, I turned to see if he was still there. He was but now shadowed by Tobias. I gulped, my mouth suddenly feeling like a desert. I suddenly remembered seeing him when I was leaving the hospital. I was rude and had ignored him. Can't I catch a break? Seriously I don't feel like being scolded right now. Ignoring them, I finished making the coffees before spinning around and handing mugs to them. Theo looked shocked while Tobias' face was unreadable. Pity maybe? I wasn't sure.
"You don't have to be here; you can go home if you like." Tobias' voice was soft. I sighed, relieved I didn't have to come up with some excuse as to why I ignored him and ran from him last night. I wonder why he was there anyway.
"Why would I do that?" I asked, confused. Didn't they want me here?
"We don't expect you to work the day after your mother passes. If you need time off, we understand. We can manage on our own, Imogen." Tobias seemed worried. Why he of all people would interfere in my life was beyond me. It's not like we are all friends and catch up for drinks after work. I barely know them. I never chat or talk to them outside business hours, I never pry into their lives, and they don't ask about mine. All of sudden they think they can have some input? I don't need their pity; I just need to be left alone.
Theo sniffed the air slightly before cocking his head to the side, studying me from head to toe. I was well aware that I smelt like I was dipped in vodka. Walking past them, I grabbed my perfume from my handbag and sprayed myself, completely ignoring them. Like seriously where would I go? Hang out in the carpark all day. To the park, maybe my storage shed? Yeah, having time off is the last thing I need.
Theo placed a cup on the edge of my desk, it was his coffee. "Drink this, I will make another."
I went to get up and stop him, seeing as it technically was my job to be the coffee bitch. But one look from Tobias made me shrink back down in my seat. Tobias sat on the edge of my desk; his hand reached out to grab mine, but I pulled away. Hurt shone in his eyes but he quickly masked it. Why would he feel hurt? His reaction seemed a little out of place, considering I was his secretary not his friend.
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