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I heard Kelly close and lock the door again and I continued setting up for the birth. I place the blankets and pillows in the small shower, pulled out some water bottles, and was hit by another contraction. So that was about 10 min apart. I sat down in my makeshift birth room. I did some stretches that are supposed to speed along the process of labor while I wait, counted time, and continued to contract. It took hours before I was contracting every few minutes. I reached down and I could not only feel that I was dilated but I was also touching the top of my pups head. It was time to push and push hard.<br /> I stood up into a crouch and grabbed the handhold and I pushed. I was in the middle of my first push when the bathroom door opened. There stood Kelly with my Mate standing behind her...<br /> —<br /> I grabbed my supplies and headed to my right since the last two people went straight and to the left. I walked for about a half-hour to make sure I was far enough away from everyone else. I had just walked into the clearing that was almost identical to my dream. It was a clearing around a large oak tree that has light-colored bark, low hanging branches, with Spanish moss hanging all over it. I pulled out my rubber mat and unfolded it and laid it at the base of the tree. I sat as lady-like as I could in my attire using the tree to lean back on. I sat and stared at the stars praying that my mate will find me quickly and that we will be all that mates should be.<br /> After a while, flairs and fireworks were shot up into the sky and the sound of distant howls could be heard. That was the signal that the males had entered the hunt. I was about three-fourths of a mile out, it seems, from the start. I opened my water bottle and took a sip while I sat and listened to the sound of the woods. Every now and then you would hear a distant growl, moan, shriek, squeal or moan.<br /> After about an hour I heard a rustling behind me, and also one to the front of me. The sound in front of me increased while the sound behind me stopped completely. I saw eyes shine at me through the brush and I stood up slowly keeping the tree at my back as protection. A grey wolf stalked out into the opening. This was not my mate.<br /> He was circling in closer when I heard a distant howl from behind me, that had taken my attention away from the grey wolf. My mistake, because he took that instance to pounce on me and shift into his human form. He was probably nearing the age limit of thirty-five and was completely undressed. The grey wolf had sandy blonde hair, was still well built, and was now hovering over top of me. As his hands tried to roam all over my body, I tried to fight my way from under him. This only enticed him more, since every time I squirmed, I was inadvertently rubbing myself against his manhood. In the distance, I heard a loud menacing roar. You could tell that the growl held authority and the grey wolfman stilled in his actions.<br /> In the blink of an eye, he was pulled off of me and thrown very harshly out of the clearing. That&#039;s when I smelled him. He smelled amazing, he smelled like Nautica cologne, mixed with fresh rainwater and blueberries. Since he had shifted he was undressed as the day he was born.<br /> He was more perfect than in my dream. As he walked towards me, you could see every muscle in his legs flex. He rolled his shoulders back, and his broad chest rippled towards his sculpted eight-pack that continued down into a perfect V. I lowered my eye and caught a glimpse of what lay between those powerful legs. Just as in my dream it was long and thick and standing at full attention. I was already wet with want.<br /> As he approached me he said just one word. &quot;MINE!&quot;<br /> I replied just as I did in the dream &quot;YOURS!&quot;<br /> That is where the dream ended and my new nightmare started.<br /> As my mate caught up to me, he grabbed me and pushed me hard into the tree. His left hand wrapped around my throat, and as I was forced to look into his eyes, and they are pitch black with no white. The darkest part of his wolf is at the surface, and he roughly turns my head to the left. I&#039;m lifted and pressed harder into the tree. Without any warning or request, he is pushing into me. I feel my first time rip in another second.<br /> As I scream out loud from the pain, he growls in my ear &quot;Shut up, I don&#039;t want to hear a peep from you little mate. Your gonna take what I have to give you no matter what.&quot;<br /> I silently cried as he continued pounding into me. I thought he was never going to finish. It felt like it had been more than an hour before he was finally ready to release. As he was nearing his finish, he quickened past inhuman speeds. His breathing was ragged and I felt like he was about to snap me in two. He finally let go of my neck, grabbing onto my hips, positioning me at a slightly different angle. He pounded into me as hard as he could three more times, leaving an indentation of my back in the tree, as he came filling me to the brim with his seed. As he finished his canines extended and he bites harshly into my neck causing me to scream once more. He stilled and caught his breath as he released his teeth from my neck. Once he was done filling me, he pulled out and dropped me to the ground.<br /> I fell hard, and I cried out again as pain spread up my spine from my tailbone. Maybe my mate wouldn&#039;t be better, than returning to my father. No, I want this. I want to go. He marked me. I have to go. I always knew that the possibility of my mate being gentle with me the first time was low. I never expected that but wolves are wild.<br /> He barked at me to stop, &quot;Stop crying before I leave you here. My wolf got what he wanted, to feel his mate, and I got my fill. I&#039;m not a repeat lay. I don&#039;t do the monogamous thing. So do not think that just because I am your mate that I will not reject you and leave you if you keep crying like a child. I have women throwing themselves at me every night. Any one of them would have loved to have just been you. To feel me, all of me. Have me pump myself into them. Now get up and follow me, quietly.&quot;<br /> I flinched expecting him to hit me, but the blow never came. I looked up and he had turned to walk off. I had stopped crying, I learned at a very young age, how to not show my pain. I had a new problem though. I could not walk, I was barely able to stand. Between being dropped on my tail bone, nearly being split in two as he entered me, and over an hour&#039;s worth of relentless pounding, I only managed to hold myself up for a moment. At that moment I felt his warm seed run down my leg before I collapsed on the ground. My whole body shut down in that instance, and I was swallowed into the darkness.<br /> ...<br /> I woke up in a comfortable bed feeling six shades of gross. Every inch of my body hurt. I rolled until I found a bedside table, and feeling a lamp, I turned on the light. I was in a beautiful room with a large bed, an even larger TV, and a few dressers and stands. The room was all different shades of blues and greys. I liked it. I felt horrible, and I knew that there was no way I was going to be able to walk to the bathroom, so I rolled, scooted, and crawled my way in there.<br /> I managed to turn on the light and wished I hadn&#039;t. My bottom half had a trail that went from in between my leg and ran till it reached my ankles. The trail was a mixture of blood and semen. The white dress that I was wearing has patched with blood, dirt, and puke.<br /> The pain was starting to ease off since I have accelerated healing as a wolf, but my wolf had been quiet since we meet our mate. I know that, like me, that was not how she wanted to become a woman, and that is not how we wanted to be treated by our mate. Still, I see this as an opportunity, I don&#039;t think I will see Alpha Devon for a while, so maybe for the first time I can remember, I can fully heal. Physically that is, emotionally I don&#039;t think I will ever be right. I can handle that though. I was already damaged before I got here.<br /> I scrubbed the remnants of mating off of my body, I watched as blood washed down the drain. I was sitting on the shower floor since I still could not bear to stand. The warm water smarted my lady parts, but it did truly did seem as all should be healed within a few days.<br /> ...<br /> I grabbed my breakfast and started eating while I watched a rerun of Big Bang Theory. I got about halfway through my breakfast and had to run to the bathroom to get sick. I threw out most of the breakfast and choose to nibble on the toast and drink the water for now. Once I finished that, I switched to the yoga channel and started to stretch and bend. As I was switching from one position to another, I caught my big toe on the bed and put a huge gash in it. I hobbled into the bathroom and pulled out the first aid kit. I pulled out two of the biggest band-aids that were in there plus an wipe. I cleaned my toe and wrapped it in the band-aids. As I was closing up the kit, I picked up the little box of tampons and looked up at the wall where I marked off the number of days that I have been here.<br /> I realized that I had been here for 37 days and have yet to need this box. Maybe it was due to stress that I had skipped this month, I tried to lie to myself. I knew better, even when I had been beaten within an inch of my life, I was still 28 days regular. I should have gotten it about a week after I had gotten here, and I would be due for my second one about now.<br /> I placed my right hand on my stomach, trying to get a sense of if there is something in there. I pulled my shirt up and stared into the mirror. I noticed that I was shaped differently now than before, and it wasn&#039;t just from my daily yoga routine. My boobs looked fuller than they should be, and when I turn to the side, my stomach which should be flat has a small but prominent bump in between my hip bones. When did this happen? How..... well I know-how. I start to hyperventilate.<br /> What am I suppose to do? My mate doesn&#039;t want me, and from his conversation with his Beta, he doesn&#039;t want any pups either. Will, he hurt them. Will, he hurt me to hurt them. I sit and cry. There&#039;s nothing else I can do. While I cry, I decide that I will hide the pregnancy. I want my pup, even if the Alpha doesn&#039;t. I have nothing to wear but oversized shirts anyway. Kelly is my only visitor, and we barely make eye contact, so I don&#039;t think she will notice.<br /> I feel like a stray dog that wandered in pregnant and will be kicked out when my new owner finds out. My wolf is going crazy now with the idea of having a pup. She has been pretty quiet due to being caged. She&#039;s excited to have her mate&#039;s heir.<br /> &quot;Bella, our mate doesn&#039;t want us. So why are you excited to have his pup.&quot; I ask my wolf.<br /> &quot;It&#039;s our mate&#039;s pup!&quot; That is all she can come up with. As if that answers everything.<br /> Maybe our mate will let us keep our pup, in here. Another prisoner of war just like me. Give me the supplies to keep him or her alive. Just like he does for me. I am definitely going to have to hide this. After staring at my body for a while longer, I pulled my shirt back on. After what I&#039;m guessing was morning sickness, busting open my toe and realizing I was pregnant. I decided that today was the perfect day to stay in bed.<br /> Since I&#039;m a wolf, my term of pregnancy will be about twenty-five weeks. So I&#039;m about five weeks now, which leaves me with another twenty weeks to go. While I was still in school, I was in training to be a nurse. When you have to perform first aid on yourself nearly every day, it sounded like a good life choice. I had helped deliver seven pups while helping at the Pack Clinic, so I already had a very good idea of what I was going to need for the birth. Since it is a self-birth, that I plan on doing by myself, my best option would be in the shower. It will be easy to get into. There are extra blankets and pillows that I can lay down on the floor. There are sturdy handholds on the wall, that I can grip onto. Along with a ready supply of water to clean things up. I need tocome up with something to cut the umbilical cord with, but I have plenty of time for that.<br /> Once I found out I was pregnant, time flew by. I wasn&#039;t as depressed as I was before. I had something to live for. My stomach is growing at an alarming rate because I feel as if I&#039;m as big as a house. I have continued to keep myself healthy by doing prego yoga, so most of my baby weight is in my boobs and belly. I have noticed though that my hips seem a little wider and my bottom is filling out a little more. I have about a week left until I should be due. Kelly is an idiot because she has no clue what is happening in here.<br /> I&#039;ve been having random contractions over the last week know as Braxton Hicks. As I stood up to start my daily routine. I felt an immense sense of pressure in my stomach, followed by a washing wave of relief. Then I felt the wetness that now covered the floor. Well, that just happened. With my water breaking a week early I was a little nervous. I had come up with a plan for cutting the cord so I had to do that now before I was in too much pain.<br /> I was hit by a contraction at that moment and leaned on the bed for support. I rode it out and started to count the time in between. I moved into the bathroom being careful not to slip in my broken water. I took my t-shirt off and hung it over the mirror. I punched the mirror as hard as I can and removed a large piece to use as a makeshift knife. I pulled out the first aid kit, and cleaned up the edges of the mirror with an wipe, and smeared Neosporin on the edges just for good measure. I pulled out my supplies from under the bathroom counter.<br /> I was just about to put everything into the shower when I noticed the time. Kelly would be arriving any minute. I could set a watch off of her punctuality. I turned on the shower hoping that she would think I overslept and was just not out yet. From where the door is she shouldn&#039;t see the puddle I left. A moment after she opened the bedroom door I turned off the shower, so again she would think I was just running a little behind.<br /> &quot;Breakfast and fresh towels are here,&quot; Kelly yelled.<br /> I opened the door just enough to stick my head out and yell &quot;Ok great&quot; in a sarcastic tone.<br /> I heard Kelly close and lock the door again and I continued setting up for the birth. I place the blankets and pillows in the small shower, pulled out some water bottles, and was hit by another contraction. So that was about 10 min apart. I sat down in my makeshift birth room. I did some stretches that are supposed to speed along the process of labor while I wait, counted time, and continued to contract. It took hours before I was contracting every few minutes. I reached down and I could not only feel that I was dilated but I was also touching the top of my pups head. It was time to push and push hard.<br /> I stood up into a crouch and grabbed the handhold and I pushed. I was in the middle of my first push when the bathroom door opened. There stood Kelly with my Mate standing behind her...

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